INM 3 Part 1

Chapter 3: The Students’ Afternoon

“You… are you Lucas?”

The petite woman before me, who had stood still in grief and fear, spoke to me. Her hair was pure white, her back slightly bent. And she had the same olive eyes as me.

How did she get the answer from me, who was so stiff that I couldn’t even answer? The lines around the woman’s eyes softened, and her stern expression suddenly became gentle.

“Oh my. You’ve grown up so much…”

I was fifteen years old. That day, after a big fight with my mother, as usual, she took me in a fit of rage to this unfamiliar front door and left me there.

“I am Amelia… Your grandmother.” she said.

She patiently persuaded me, who couldn’t move from the front door, to come inside.

That night, as I lay down for the first time wrapped in freshly washed sheets, I couldn’t help but cry a little. I realized that what I had probably always wanted were those clean sheets, washed just for me.

“Luke?”

Brian, standing next to me, rubbed the back of my hand with his fingertips as if asking a question. I smiled back at his worried eyes.

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking about Grandma.”

“Oh…” my childhood friend’s expression immediately softened. “She really was an amazing woman.”

“Yes, she was always my pride and joy.”

Brian smiled deeper at my answer and turned his eyes to the group of people chatting animatedly. They were as cheerful as if they were the stars of the day. It was a vast, open blue sky, the complete opposite of the stuffy Brisbane sky. This blue sky, accompanied by modest floating clouds, stretched above us. 

To attend the funeral of my grandmother, Amelia, Brian and I had driven to our hometown early in the morning. Our hometown, with a large river flowing through its dry land as its landmark. Even though it was only a four-hour drive, my body, which had grown accustomed to Brisbane, was dizzy from the gentle flow of time and the vastness of the sky.

The ceremony, which began with a semblance of solemnity, had turned into a cheerful gathering by the time the sun reached its zenith, just as the deceased had wished. After greeting everyone with wine and light refreshments, I found a place under a tree, some distance from the center of the circle, and watched the people. The fatigue of the journey, combined with the exhaustion of the past few days in Brisbane, seemed to hit me all at once. I felt my heart finally shedding its armor and taking a breath, surrounded by familiar land and people.

Brian, who had been dragged around by the townspeople for quite some time, seemed to have managed to escape the circle as well. He walked over and took up a position to my left, sipping his wine leisurely. Even the townspeople didn’t bother us anymore. Maybe they felt sorry for a poor man who had lost his beloved grandmother…

As if to completely negate that thought, a man from the crowd waved at me. Not as long as Brian, but we’d known each other since elementary school. Dressed in a shiny purple shirt, gold pants, and a silk hat, he was dazzling even from a distance.

The man in the most outrageous outfit placed a plate on the table and strolled over to us. The coarse, gaudy gold lamé reflected the light wildly with every step he took, making me seriously consider for a good three seconds whether or not to put on my sunglasses. Brian, by the way, had immediately put his sunglasses back on. This flood of light must have been unbearable for his light eyes. 

After reaching the shade of the tree, the Merry Christmas guy gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Hey there. Long time no see, you two.”

“Klaus. Glad to see you’re doing well.” Brian replied politely.

Beside him, I raised an eyebrow sarcastically.

“Long time no see? It hasn’t even been a year since we last saw each other, has it?”

Klaus shook his head exaggeratedly, as if to say, “Oh, come on.” to my sarcastic remark.

“Only one year? You’ve really become a city person, Luke. That’s terrible.”

“It’s your sense of style that’s terrible. How in the world did you come up with that purple and gold combination?”

“I just took the flashiest thing out of my closet. To fulfill your grandmother’s wishes.” 

The man said, dramatically placing his hand on his chest. It’s true, Grandma would probably be overjoyed with this garish color combination.

“Well, the dress code for the funeral is “as colorful as possible”. He added.

“Typical Amelia. You’re a little too modest, Brian.”

My other childhood friend commented with a pitying look. Brian groaned, “I tried my best.” And it was true, the combination of navy shirt and crimson tie was quite an effort for him. It was just that he looked a bit out of place against a group wearing shocking pink mules and lime green suits.

“Luke, that, what is that? Shiny light blue camouflage… where in the world did you find such a pattern?!… Well, the shirt with the lemon-yellow tie isn’t bad. But it doesn’t quite match mine.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

I replied with a wry smile. He patted my shoulder again and sat down next to me. I looked down at his massive body, which was probably twice as big as mine. Though he was already a father of three, I felt that those rugged shoulders were indeed worthy of supporting children.

“Amelia… I’m sorry about your grandmother.”

“Well, I think Grandma is having fun in heaven.” I replied.

“I bet she is.” the man laughed, turning his attention to the crowd. “She was a woman who loved many and was loved by many… Hey, are you okay?”

“What?”

I looked down at the man with a confused expression, and Klaus met my gaze with kind, concerned eyes. When I blinked in surprise, I finally realized that he was worried about me, someone who had lost a family member.

“Oh, you mean me?” 

A look of pity clouded Klaus’ eyes when he heard my words.

“Luke, are you really okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I replied flatly to the man who was really starting to worry about me. 

“Of course I was shocked when I heard the news. But now I’m strangely calm. When I think about it, she’s been nagging me about her death for years. “Do this, do that”, she’d say, over and over.

“Oh…”

“Amelia…”

I let out a bitter sigh and looked at the two of them who were speechless. 

“At first I was angry and sad and told her to stop saying such things. But she lived for over a decade while talking about her own death. In the end, I was completely prepared.”

Through my grumbling, the two of them exchanged glances.

“Well, that’s typical of Amelia.”

“Come to think of it, Thomas said he made all the arrangements for this funeral a long time ago.”

At the mention of the name, our three eyes naturally drifted to the center of the crowd. A group of people were happily reminiscing about their memories of Grandma. Among them was a man with pure white hair, wearing his usual plain cassock and smiling, creating a scene that was both joyful and tinged with sadness.

The quiet priest of this town, always pondering something difficult like a philosopher. He took my and Brian’s business more seriously than we did, agonizing over it and finally accepting us. He always had a slightly troubled smile on his face, but during the ceremony when he suddenly choked up and burst into tears, everyone in the room, including me, was stunned. 

“To think that Thomas would cry…”

“Well, he had known your grandmother for a long time.”

“But he seems to have calmed down now.”

Klaus, who had just joined the crowd, nodded his stiff, blond hair in response to my words.

“Yes. He returned to the old Thomas.”

Amelia would be happy if her old friend mourned her death.”

I did not respond to Brian’s remark. Pretending to be lost in thought, I looked at my feet through my lowered eyelids. A pair of lemon yellow faux leather shoes, bought to match my tie. They looked like they belonged to a carefree grandson who hadn’t given them much thought. 

Klaus glanced sideways at me over his burly shoulder. I tried to avoid his gaze but couldn’t hold it any longer and finally looked up from my vitamin-colored shoes.

“.What?”

“Nothing much. Hey, Brian. Have you seen Mr. Brown?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you go see him? He asked for you, said he had something to talk about.”

Brian raised an eyebrow and glared at Klaus as if trying to gauge his sincerity. The former student council president, a brilliant student, sighed at the father of three who calmly met his gaze.

“All right, I’ll go.”

“Yeah. He’s probably still wandering around the meat pie section. Tell him I said hello.”

“Why are you asking me to do that? I’ve already greeted him.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, Brian, see you later.”

Klaus nodded over his shoulder as Brian walked away with long, leisurely strides. A dry, pleasant breeze blew past us, ruffling Brian’s black hair. The world seemed to be dancing in perfect rhythm, bathed in light. It must have been Grandmother’s choice. To the tune of “Let It Be” the trees, the grass, the reddish-brown dust, and someone’s silk scarf reflected the light with impeccable timing, as if orchestrated by a supremely skilled stage director.

My hometown, which I had once thought was devoid of beauty, now floated before me like a vision of paradise. It was an overwhelming flood of light that even a Renoir painting couldn’t capture.

“Lucas, I think you know this.”

A mundane voice called to me from far below, trying to ground me.

“He’s not saying you don’t mourn Amelia’s death.”

With a distant, detached feeling, I sighed at the man’s somewhat preachy tone.

“I know.”

“That’s good.”

Saying that, our childhood friend flashed that painfully kind smile again. Everyone says you don’t become an adult just because you have children, but to me, those who give unconditional love seem like completely different creatures.

“Well, I’m not saying I don’t care.”

Giving up on trying to show off to my old friend who had evolved into a father, I let out a sigh and muttered.

“Hey, Klaus. Do you think I’m heartless for not shedding tears over my grandmother’s death?” 

“Nonsense.”

Klaus’ voice trembles as if he were the one being accused. Encouraged by the tone of his voice, words begin to pour out of my mouth. 

“When I heard about Grandma, I was shocked. Truly shocked. I know she’s not in this world anymore, and every day I’m reminded of how much she gave me. But she told me not to be sad, that if I was sad, I wouldn’t be able to see her again. So I’m not crying because it makes her happy.”

Klaus, who was next to me, slowly stood up. He looked down at me, who had fallen silent, and hugged me. 

Through the shiny purple shirt, my body was pressed against his plump chest and slightly relaxed stomach. As I quietly accepted the embrace, my mind was drawn to the soft touch of his hand stroking my head. It was more comforting than I could have imagined. Surprised by the comfort, I silently accepted his embrace.

The man held me to his chest and sighed deeply.

“Poor thing.”

He said and continued to stroke my head. Poor thing, huh? Has anyone comforted me with these words lately? 

Klaus spoke in a low voice.

“Words are difficult, aren’t they? It’s hard to be told not to mourn. But I understand Amelia’s feelings. Amelia was far more worried that her death would cause your smile to fade than her own death. I understand that.”