INM 5 Part 7

I managed to reach my apartment door and unlocked it as I leaned against it, ignoring the disinfectant that spilled from my hand onto the floor as I collapsed onto the sofa. Something like sediment seeped from deep inside me and pinned me to the couch. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was. All I felt capable of was mindlessly scrolling through social media, but unfortunately I had left my device on my desk out of habit.

Resigned to doing nothing, I looked around the room. As an interior designer’s office, it was a complete failure. The desk was cluttered, tea leaves and cups were left out in the kitchen. On the table in front of the sofa were cups, plates, a love letter that had lost its initial creepiness, and the beige box that had held it. Next to it was the eyeball charm I had placed in the box to seal the letter. 

As I looked at the blue, white, and black glass eye, memories of Kasim’s sincere eyes at Alexandra’s bar flashed through my mind. Chloe’s sharp eyes staring at the letter, Victor’s angry eyes pleading for Alan, and Ethan’s kind eyes listening to Alan’s story… They believed there was a connection between these letters and Alan’s death, and that was why they wanted to protect me in Alan’s place.

I wished that I could talk to Alan. I wanted him to hear how much his friends cared for me.

“Did you see Kasim’s serious eyes, Alan? You two would have been great friends.”

When I finished speaking, I closed my eyes and shut out the outside world. Talking to yourself in an empty room usually produces only a hollow echo, but sometimes it pierces your heart.

I lost track of time for a while.

When I regained consciousness, my body felt heavier than before, but at least I had enough strength to move.

I took a deep breath and sat up quickly. Whether it was hunger, thirst, the need to sleep, or the urge to move, I couldn’t tell what my body wanted. I drank a glass of cold water from the refrigerator and grabbed my device. It was 5:40 PM. Not as much time had passed as I thought. 

I put my device in my pocket and went outside. I felt like getting something cold and sweet to drink. It was a 15 minute walk from my house to the nearest supermarket. As I stepped into the elevator, I had a flash of anxiety about going out alone.

But I quickly dismissed it. The route to downtown, across from Alexandra’s bar, was still quite busy, but not too crowded. Getting into trouble seemed unlikely.

Walking slightly stooped through the ornate entrance, Megan noticed me and approached with a smile.

“Hi, Luke. Going out again at this hour?”

“Yes. Just going shopping.”

“Shopping… Queen Street Mall?”

“No, Woolworths. I want some juice or soda. I’m thinking of getting grape juice. Grapefruit would work too.”

Megan’s eyes darted away briefly to check the entrance clock.

Noticing my look, she quickly returned her eyes to mine with a smile.

“I see. Take care.”

I thanked her and walked through the automatic doors. Turning right onto the street in front of my apartment, I saw that it was still bright in Brisbane just before six, and that there was a shadowy figure in the distance.

I almost took a familiar shortcut between buildings, but stopped when I saw the narrow, dark alley. Even though nothing was likely to happen, I decided to heed the voices of the concerned students, Alexandra and Brian, and took the well-lit, open road to the supermarket. 

In the end, nothing dangerous happened, and I went back the way I came, carrying a bag of pink grapefruit juice, sparkling water, vinegar-flavored potato chips, and chocolate chip cookies. Some days my body feels lighter with every step, but other days it feels like lead. Today was definitely the latter. I also began to feel very hungry. When I get home, I’m going to prepare mixed nuts and rye bread-and spread both with lots of honey. I’ll also spread the rye bread with plenty of butter.

Sighing and dragging my feet, I realized I was exhausted. My device, left in my pocket, buzzed. Reluctantly, I took it out, a habit ingrained over many years. It was Brian calling.

“Luke, where are you right now?”

Brian’s tense voice questioned me the moment I pressed the call button.

“Uh, I was just at the supermarket.”

“Oh, I heard it from Megan. Are you on your way back?”

“Yes. I just left the store.”

“I’ll come get you. I need to talk to you about something. Whatever you do, don’t take any shortcuts.”

Come get me for a trip of less than 15 minutes? I thought, but didn’t say it out loud. The low voice, which seemed to hum with tension and embarrassment, made me answer honestly, “Thank you.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you as soon as possible.” 

Less than two seconds of silence later, Brian’s voice came through a little more relaxed than before. 

“Make sure you come straight home.”

“You better hurry up and come get me.”

Words like that came naturally now.

Brian, always serious, replied, “Got it.”

I pocketed my device with a smile still on my face. I felt like I could clean my entire apartment right now. Knowing that someone truly appreciated my love brought a euphoric feeling that could almost drive you crazy with happiness.

Unable to stop myself from smiling, I looked up and saw a figure walking towards me about 50 meters away.

Nearby trees rustled and unseen birds squawked loudly. The wind swept down the nondescript concrete path, kicking up accumulated dust and leaves.

A figure, almost like a mirage, stood out sharply against the background, striding toward me with long legs. For a moment I thought it was Brian, although I knew it couldn’t be. There were a few others walking along the street, but this figure inexplicably caught my attention. They were as tall as Brian and similarly built.

Still half absorbed in my conversation with Brian, I observed the figure without caution. They wore a well-fitted, branded greige shirt and indigo straight-legged jeans. Their eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, but their thin lips seemed to be forming a smile.

I idly thought that this person didn’t seem to be the type to actively engage with others, as I was also drawn to them and began to walk in their direction. 

We were supposed to just walk past each other and forget about it within five minutes. But as the distance between us closed, my body suddenly began to feel uncomfortable. My hands began to tremble as if they were numb. My core was quickly growing cold, but sweat was beading on my forehead.

Even though my body was protesting, I couldn’t look away or stop walking. The figure was wearing an ordinary baseball cap. A black one that didn’t match his outfit, like something you could buy at any sporting goods store.

I recognized the cap.

A two-second clip of a poorly-lit store entrance played in my mind as a man in a black hat walked from left to right across the screen.

The moment I realized the man in front of me matched the one in the short surveillance footage Brian had obtained from the store owner, my heart leapt. It began to pound, compressing my lungs with its rapid beats.

The man who had spiked my drink and brought me home the night Alan died… I understood with a shudder that he was the same person before me.

“Oh my God… Brian, Brian…”

I mumbled the name of my last hope, the former cop, but I knew it was pointless without calculating the distances, he wouldn’t get here in time. Unless, by some miracle, he’d started sprinting the moment we’d ended our conversation, despite his injury.

The thought reassured me a little. I could easily imagine Brian rushing to my aid, injury be damned, if anything happened. But I couldn’t let his injury get worse. Stay calm, Lucas. Take care of it yourself.

I exhaled deeply and stood up straight. 

When I thought about it, even if the man in front of me had approached me with evil intent that day, it didn’t necessarily mean that he appeared here now to do something to me. This is Brisbane. The possibility of him passing by was quite high. If so, he probably hadn’t even noticed me.

No, maybe he had forgotten me altogether.

After all, it’s possible that my suspicion that he slipped something into my drink that day was a misunderstanding. Maybe he was just giving me a friendly ride home… Or maybe my memory of being carried home by someone was a mistake, and he was just a stranger who happened to be in the store and happened to show up on the surveillance camera.

As I listed reasons not to act, my mind began to wander.

Come to think of it, I originally started investigating the man that night because of my alibi. Threatened by the cops and intimidated by Brian, I felt like I was skating on thin ice and decided to get the man who was with me that night to verify my alibi. At the time, I was so wrapped up in my own situation that I could hardly see beyond it.

What about now? Knowing various aspects of Alan and realizing the unexpected importance of my presence in his life, my desire to simply protect my world had somehow turned into another desire. It was strange. I couldn’t even remember Alan’s smile.

Do you really think so?

The young man’s voice echoed softly inside me.

Thank you, Luke. It’s a promise…

Droplets of sound created ripples that spread silently. 

Finally, a moment of emptiness came when all the waves and ripples had passed.

In a world of complete silence, like a clear mirror without a single ripple, the voice of a woman I longed for echoed.

Luke!

Startled, I was dragged back to the real world. At some point, I had walked about half a block along a plain concrete path. The street trees cast shadows in the Brisbane evening, and a dark, bird-like silhouette flew across my upper field of vision.

And the man from that night looked down at me from about three seconds away.

“Huh, you…”

My murmur was swallowed by the passing wind. His eyes were completely covered by sunglasses, but somehow I knew for sure.

I understood immediately that he remembered me, that he had approached me with bad intentions.

And worst of all, he understood from my reaction that I recognized him.

Children are pitiful, aren’t they…? They realize they have glimpsed affection and begin to hope. Hoping that the person themselves will notice the affection.