INM 6 Part 2

The man deepened the kiss quickly and relentlessly. Brian’s tongue, warmer than mine, gently lapped my tongue and deftly explored my oral cavity. The man’s large, hot palm rested on my neck, moving slowly down to measure its shape. 

As if on cue, Brian looked up and kissed me behind the ear. The man slowly leaned over me, and my entire body was enveloped in his warmth. Before I knew it, his palm had reached my ribs, and I realized… that I had finally stepped into a side of him that I didn’t know existed. At the same time that I was stunned by my childhood friend’s ability to seamlessly corner me, I was also a little taken aback by the lack of hesitation in his movements. He must have been playing a lot of games without my knowledge. 

His right hand travels down my body, his hand moving down my thin, muscular back to check the line of my slightly slender waist and then down to the bottom of it. A heavy heat circulates in my lower abdomen and my head begins to burn with intense lust. I was devouring shallow breaths when Brian dropped another kiss on me.

Suddenly, the man looked away from me unnaturally.

“Are you sure you want to continue like this?”

“What?”

Still dazed from lack of oxygen and intoxication, I couldn’t immediately grasp his meaning. He continued.

“Earlier you said you wanted to talk to me.”

My thoughts stalled gradually, against my will… awakened, and after a few beats I finally understood Brian’s words. I was stunned. My body was still glowing from the afterglow.

“No way… You’re asking that now?”

“If you have concerns, it’s better to address them first…”

“You’re not popular, are you?”

Brian fell silent at my rude remark, but after a moment of hesitation, he answered with a groan, as if he had an idea.

“That’s not true. I just don’t want to get deeply involved with anyone but you.”

“So you just fool around with casual partners.”

“That’s a terrible accusation. I don’t do that anymore.”

Admitting his past wildness, Brian struggled to exhale a still warm breath.

“You told me to take care of myself. You could let me do a little more of what I want to do.”

“I was just wondering if that was really all I could do for you, if there wasn’t more I could do.”

Then he looked back at me and continued.

“You are exhausted. More than you know. I don’t want to burden you any further.”

His words made me grimace.

“Give me a break, Brian. I don’t want to think about anything anymore.”

“It’s only natural for you to feel this way. Luke, you were chased by a stranger with bad intentions.”

His words were rational and compassionate. Yet beneath the gentle tone, there was an unmistakable hint of troubled emotion. The tension in his muscles, his breathing, all conveyed his struggle to suppress his own impulses. I understood how difficult it was to hold back such an overwhelming wave. That’s why it puzzled me.

“Why do you say that? Wouldn’t it be easier for both of us to just sleep together without thinking?”

“The easiest and most immediate solution isn’t always the best for both of us.”

Brian said with a groan and sat up. He reached for me, who was lying on the kitchen floor like a stubborn child, and pulled me up.

I sat cross-legged and sighed without any real feeling. Brian sat in the kitchen with his long legs stretched out.

“Listen, I’m not a very nice man. I intend to have all of you eventually.”

I knew instinctively that these words were his true feelings. When I looked up, Brian was still facing away, arms crossed, looking down. For some reason, unexpected words came out of my mouth.

“Hey, are you lying about something?”

Brian, still with his arms crossed, stared at a spot on the floor. In a raspy voice that seemed to crawl from the depths, he replied calmly.

“There is no lie in what I have just said. Do you want to know my true feelings now? I want to be with you now. I want to touch you as much as I want and leave my mark on you. Luke, I’ve always wanted you.”

The dim, warm light in the kitchen shone directly down on Brian. It cast a slight shadow on his face as he looked down at the floor. Even at that moment I found myself captivated by him and I hated myself a little for it. I wished I could put aside my thoughts of Alan and the man in the black baseball cap and just enjoy the affection Brian was offering me.

But Brian was trying to choose the right path for us.

Then I realized that I had to deal with Alan and myself alone. This obvious realization made me sigh in resignation and exhaustion.

“All right. I’ll do as you say.”

Brian looked up. His arms were still crossed tightly, but his expression softened a bit, which made me feel a little disappointed.

“I’ll take your advice and rest properly first.”

“Yes, do that.”

“I’m really sorry I tried to use you.”

Brian shook his head as if to say not to worry about it, and I continued.

“Brian, right now just being near you is enough for me. But someday I want to…”

“All right, all right.”

Brian cut me off, his face twitching.

“For now, go take a shower. Right now.”

That was probably the best course of action, so I finally followed Brian’s advice and left the kitchen.

I took a rough, worn towel from the drawer in the wall between the bathroom and bedroom and ran my hand over its rough texture a few times.

I told Alan that nothing really important was lost when the broom burned, but there was one thing I lost then, the ability to dream about the future. I don’t think it’s cast a shadow on my life. It taught me to do my best in the moment, and it took me further than I ever imagined.

But now Brian wants me to think about a future with him.

Remembering Brian’s warmth from a moment ago and the many tasks I had to face alone, I sighed bitterly.

“Dreaming isn’t nice at all.”

My muttering was interrupted by a low scream from Brian coming from the office.

“Brian?”

A muffled groan that sounded like my name answered. I tossed the worn-out towel aside and hurried back into the office.

The former cop was standing by the sofa, looking at me with an angry expression that completely shattered the sweet atmosphere from earlier. He pointed at the table.

“You, you… How could you…?”

“What? What is this?”

“What is this letter! How could you receive something like this and still go out alone?”

I quickly realized it was the letter and relaxed.

“It’s a misunderstanding, Brian. I received this a while ago.”

Brian looked at me in shock, his mouth opening and closing without a word. It was impressive how completely speechless he was. Feeling a little awkward, I scratched the back of my head with my right hand.

“Uh, did I forget to mention this letter to you? I kind of forgot it existed.”

“How could you forget something like this?”

“I was scared, okay! I couldn’t help it!”

“You can’t seriously think that’s an excuse.”

“I’m sorry.”

My apology, which even I felt lacked sincerity, made Brian snort in resignation as he returned to the kitchen. He soon returned with two cups filled to the brim with tea, which he placed gently on the table. I was strangely impressed by his gentle movements, a reminder of his good upbringing.

“Sit down. Explain everything to me right now.”

“But you just told me to rest.”

Muttering, I sat down in the chair next to the sofa. I knew his anger was just a sign of his concern.

I explained to Brian, who was listening with a face that could make you suspect him of being a criminal, that Megan had prompted me to find this letter about a week ago, that I had sealed it up out of fear, and that I had retrieved it this morning to show it to Chloe, who wanted to see it.

After hearing my explanation, Brian let out a deep sigh that could rival Angel Falls. Sighing that much in one day must be good for your health.

The polite bear, having exhaled all the air from his lungs, spoke in a resigned voice.

“I take it you didn’t tell the police about this.”

“Of course not.”

Brian sighed again. I resisted the urge to ask him to check his blood oxygen level and tried to regain his trust with an excuse.

“I wanted to contact you as soon as I got the letter. I went back to my desk to get my device. I was distracted by something else at that moment.”

“And what was that?”

“I really don’t remember. It was about a week ago.”

Brian nodded at my words and looked back at the table. My excuse seemed to work as he regained his detective-like composure.

“Who wanted to see the letter?”

“One of the students. The only girl in the group, she deduced that the logo on the letter was from the University of Queensland, that the introduction to the letter was quiet, that someone was trying to disguise their handwriting, and so on”.

Brian, who had looked like he was going to scold me at the mention of a university student, responded with a “ho” of admiration when he heard her deductions.

“She has a bright future. She could be valuable in both the police force and a detective agency.”

“She’s a promising future physicist, so that future may not happen. Like you, she’s quite conspicuous, so I don’t think she’s suited to be a detective.”

“I keep a low profile at work.” Brian said, making a disgusted face and clearing his throat. “So, was that blue glass bead in the envelope too?”

“No, it’s a charm from Grandma. I used it to seal the letter… well, it’s mine.”

“Ah, that’s why it looked familiar.”

He recognized Matty? That’s surprising. I didn’t know about such charms until I met Grandma, and even if I had seen one in someone’s house, I wouldn’t have noticed it.

“I don’t remember putting it anywhere conspicuous, so maybe you saw it on a trip to Southern Europe? You’ve traveled all over the world.”

“Maybe.”

Brian said, looking unconvinced. He picked up Matty, decided it was okay to handle it, and examined it closely.

“Or maybe you saw it at Grandma’s house. Have you been to her house?”

“I was at Amelia’s house, but I don’t remember seeing this.”

Brian thought for a moment, then nodded slightly.

“Oh, I remember now. Didn’t you tie it to your bed?”

His words made my mind stop. The image of the blue eye charm forcefully tied to the headboard of my bed flashed vividly in my mind.

The traditional bedroom, in stark contrast to the office, with its incongruous Mediterranean charm. To be watched over even from afar, and to always return to my roots. The day I received the letter, I had indeed grabbed the blue glass from my bedroom out of fear. 

When I remembered that moment, my whole body shivered.

At the same time, my mouth went dry.

“Tied to the bed?”… Did he just say that?

I exhaled carefully, trying to fight the urge to gasp. My heart pounded painfully and my body temperature dropped rapidly. All my energy was draining from my core.

“Luke?”

Brian’s familiar voice, calling my name in confusion, sounded like a stranger’s. I clasped my hands tightly to keep them from shaking and lowered my eyes. I managed to open my dry mouth and simply said, “Yes, it was tied to the bed.”