INM 6 Part 5

Thinking of Alan and the students I had recently become friends with, I couldn’t help but grimace. Feeling like my feet were about to give out, I furrowed my brow.

“There’s no way I’m such an important person who can influence others.”

“This thought is your biggest cancer. You know it deep down, don’t you?”

“Shut up…!”

“It’s fine if you stubbornly underestimate yourself, but because you don’t take responsibility for your words, you end up messing with others!”

“You’re the one who doesn’t take responsibility for your words!”

Overwhelmed with anger and confusion, I deliberately raised my voice as loud as I could.

“I won’t let you forget. When we were playing Star Wars in the backyard, you said you would be Obi-Wan if you won rock-paper-scissors, but when you lost, you selfishly said the loser should be Obi-Wan instead!”

Brian’s gray-blue eyes burned brightly at my heartfelt grievance, which I had secretly harbored for a long time. Staring at me with a look of disbelief, the man spat out, “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“What are you talking about? You started it! You promised to be Darth Vader if you lost, but in the end you didn’t. I was just following your lead!”

I crushed Brian’s pathetic misunderstanding with the most sarcastic expression I could muster.

“No, the Obi-Wan thing came first.”

“It was Darth Vader!”

“You stubborn idiot!”

“That’s my line!”

Finally, we both stood up with a loud squeaking of the chairs. The thin metal legs slid across the concrete floor with a grating, high-pitched sound. Our hands reached for each other’s collars.

But just before our hands could reach each other, our bodies were pulled apart in an instant with tremendous force.

“Easy, easy, Luke.”

“What are you doing? Let go of me! I’ll teach him a lesson…”

Opposite me, struggling, was Brian… no, Brian was completely tied up by three strong, muscular walls of flesh. He was treated like a VIP. It made me insanely jealous, as if they were showing off the difference in strength between Brian and me.

As I gritted my teeth and glared at Brian, a familiar deep voice suddenly came from nearby.

“Can you believe it? These two are sober.”

“Alexandra!”

“Thank God you came so quickly. I would have given them hell if they had damaged anything in the shop.”

Behind me, slightly calmed by his words, the man holding me replied to Alexandra.

“I’m fine, but the guys assigned to him are pathetic. Even three of them can’t handle him.” 

With that languid voice and thick Australian accent, I finally realized who the man holding me back was.

“Leo? What are you doing here?”

“Drinking. What about you? That’s Brian, right? Why are you fighting with the guy you pine for so much that you call him in your sleep? And in such a low-level way.”

Now that he mentioned it, why was I fighting? There were so many more important questions I should have asked.

While I was lost in thought, pondering the reason for the fight and the strange feeling I had about what Leo had just said, Brian, who had been fighting the three men, noticed us and yelled.

“Don’t touch Luke, you bastards!”

“Oh, Alexandra. This guy had a few drinks. There’s no way he’s sober.”

The man behind me sighed in exasperation at the bear’s unleashing of his wild instincts, and my anger flared again.

“See! You always try to play the protector and interfere in my friendships. You stubborn old man!”

“Me too…”

Ignoring Leo’s muttering, I flapped my legs.

“Besides, it’s been weird since before. Why am I the only one you accuse of being too close to people? What about your problem of being high-handed with people when you’re insecure?”

“I face the consequences of my words and take care of myself. Unlike you, who gets carried away when someone is nice to you and ends up being used by others.”

“Listen, Mr. Nice Guy Brian. You may think I’m still a naive kid, but I’m your age, an adult, and I can make my own decisions.”

“I know that.”

“No, you don’t! That’s why you’re obsessed with me. You know it too, don’t you? All there is between us is mutual obsession and the desire to control each other.”

Brian’s face contorted at my words.

“Obsession? How about you try a better lie.”

“It’s not a lie. The fact that you always go overboard with me is just another emotion, the opposite of love.”

“If it’s not a lie, then why do you always forget to answer my messages, disappear without a word, and fill your days with plans with other people?”

It took me a full three seconds to realize what he was saying.

“No, that’s not what I mean!”

I raised my arms and scratched my head. I couldn’t believe I couldn’t communicate with my childhood friend, who I thought I understood better than anyone, probably even my parents. I had always thought that even if I didn’t know what he was thinking, we could understand each other if we just talked.

Confused by the misunderstanding, I continued.

“I’m saying that obsession and control are similar to love, but different!”

“I know. You’re saying your feelings for me are like sympathy for a piece of paper.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

My whole body boiled over at the words of my stubborn friend.

“Do you have any idea how much I’ve suffered because of my feelings for you? Sympathy? You have no idea…”

“But you can easily disappear from my sight. Your feelings for me must be more insignificant than a piece of unnecessary paper. Only I love you!”

“That’s not true, you stupid idiot, Brian! It’s been twelve years since I fell in love with you. My feelings for you are much more painful than your childish obsession and desire to control me!”

“You’re the stupid one, you idiot! How dare you say that your feelings are more painful than mine? How can you ever handle the situation?”

“Why can’t you understand something so simple? I thought my childhood friend was smarter than me!”

“I understand everything perfectly. I am right and you are wrong!”

“What did you say?”

Forgetting that we were being held down, we grabbed each other again. At that moment, a thunderous roar pierced our ears, as if we had been struck by lightning.

“All right, you two, enough!”

Brian and I turned to look at Alexandra, who was standing there with his eyes wide open.

“But he…”

Alexandra looked down at both of us, stunned as we screamed at the same time. He sighed bitterly. “I can’t believe it. You two haven’t changed a bit since you were five!”

“That’s not true. I’m an independent, talented, young and promising up-and-coming interior coordinator. It’s Brian’s fault that he always does what he wants and never listens to me.

“This is different. I’m an acknowledged genius, a capable man who can win the trust of any organization and get results. It’s Luke’s fault for always doing reckless things and not listening to me.”

Alexandra glared at us, his face contorted as we continued to argue.

“Okay, I get it. You two, just physically separate for now. I don’t really understand the situation, but calm down and talk it out or fight it out again. I’ll mediate because of our old friendship.”

Leo loosened his grip on me at the same time Brian spoke. 

“No.”

His voice was so calm it was hard to believe it was coming from the same person who had spoken just thirty seconds before. It sobered me up as well. Maybe it was because there were no more secrets between us. Despite his stubborn expression, the blue-gray eyes he fixed on Alexandra were the brightest I had seen in the two weeks since we had been reunited.

A few strands of black hair fell across his lightly tanned skin, swaying slightly. The little boy who had wanted skin like mine when we were young and had run away from Hannah when she tried to put sunscreen on him. The boy who always waited for me outside my house, no matter how late I was, even when I told him to go ahead. The boy who stubbornly followed me to the summer school I was forced to attend, smiling happily beside me.

My childhood friend, who was always so obedient, but suddenly became stubborn when it came to me.

“You told me, didn’t you? That Luke shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“The reason I called you here and shared the information directly with you was because I thought you were the best person to handle the situation. But apparently that’s not the case.”

Alexandra continued, interrupting Brian.

“It seems I’m the one who understands the situation best right now. You are both exhausted and have lost your ability to make sound judgments. What’s more, you’re both focused on different goals and not in the same direction. You can’t even share information properly. If I were your enemy, I would like to take advantage of that. I can think of a hundred ways, but do you want to hear them, boys?” 

“But Alexandra, the culprit…”

I interjected before Brian could finish.

“Alexandra is right, Brian. I think we should both calm down and talk things through.”

“No. Do you understand? It wasn’t me who spiked your drink and stalked you. There’s another culprit. The police haven’t caught him yet.”

Driven by my earlier impulse, I almost blurted out a nasty remark to hurt my friend. But I managed to stop myself and opened my mouth again.

“Okay, I believe you.”

“You don’t understand. Based on the criminal’s methods and Sam’s profiling, Sam thinks that the person who killed your friend and the person who targeted you are the same person. I support his theory.”

I felt the same cold shiver down the back of my neck that I had felt in the office earlier. I had a feeling it was true, but it was clear to both Brian and Sam that the person who had killed Alan and the person who had been attacking me was probably the same person.

Brian continued, ignoring me.

“In other words, you are being targeted by someone who has taken a human life.”

Tension filled the bar. The customers around us held their breath, and I shifted my weight awkwardly from my right foot to my left, feeling out of place. It was probably too much to divulge information in a place filled with so many unrelated people. As Alexandra had pointed out, Brian’s nerves might have already reached their limit.

The guilt began to eat away at me again. Even though Brian had been the one to rush in, I had caused him a lot of trouble by dragging him into my problems. As I was tormented by remorse, I honestly expressed my wish.

“Still, I need some time to sort things out on my own right now.” 

“How much time do you need this time? A year or maybe three?”

I twisted my mouth at Brian’s sarcasm. I had a vague feeling, but it seemed that my childhood friend still held a grudge against me for the time we had grown apart in middle school.

Brian sighed when I hesitated to speak.

“At least let me take you home. In the meantime, I’ll give you all the information you need.”