IPSTDS Chapter 124

Chapter 124

「…If only I had loved Yoon Noah a little sooner. If I had, maybe I could have saved him.

This was the thought that often consumed Lee Kangil these days.

The experimental drug he had given to Yoon Noah had not yet been released on the market, but he had held a certain degree of confidence in its effectiveness. Kangil had firmly believed that the drug would save him.

Because of that premature belief, he had put off the research for the drug and devoted himself to other matters for a while.

It was only much later, after everyone else had abandoned the pitiful Yoon Noah and Kangil had finally come to love him, that he resumed his halted research.

As he worked to strengthen its composition and refine improvements, he realized belatedly just how incomplete the earlier version had been.

‘If only I had known that sooner…’

If he had revised the drug a little earlier and given Noah the improved version…

Kangil’s heart, steeped in regret, felt as though it would never heal.

He could not imagine when, if ever, he might smile brightly again.」

Unlike in the original story, Nahyuk had grown close to Lee Kangil fairly quickly.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, but he remembered hearing quite early on that Kangil was working on improving the experimental drug. Because of that, Kangil often didn’t come home until very late at night.

“Can I really live?”

The regrets weighing on Kangil’s heart became a ray of hope for Nahyuk. In this reality, where Kangil had begun his research earlier, it felt like he might truly be saved.

For the first time since the deathly shadow over Yoon Noah in the original story, Nahyuk felt a glimmer of possibility for life.

Without realizing it, he pressed a firm kiss against Kangil’s lips as he slept. It wasn’t a breath-sharing kiss, only lips pressed tightly together.

He simply couldn’t stay still—Kangil looked even more lovable than he had yesterday.

Because of that, Kangil stirred with a groan and woke. He looked startled at the sudden kiss.

But the surprise lasted only a moment. Soon enough, he responded instinctively, devouring Nahyuk’s lips before pressing gentle kisses to his cheek.

“So, you didn’t have a nightmare this time? Waking me up like this.”

“Yeah. I had a good dream.”

“What kind of dream?”

“A dream of living.”

“…”

“I used to dream of dying every time. But today, for the first time, I dreamed of living—of living a long, long time with you.”

Kangil furrowed his brow slightly and pulled Nahyuk tightly into his arms.

“I don’t believe in religion because I have too much faith in myself, but I’ll still pray every day.”

“What?”

“I’ll pray that you only ever dream good dreams.”

“…”

“That you’ll never have another nightmare again.”

“Thank you,” Nahyuk whispered softly, burying his face against Kangil’s chest.

“Then I’ll pray too.”

“What will you pray for?”

“I don’t have a religion either, but I’ll pray that you always stay healthy.”

No sooner had he said it than Kangil chuckled.

“I’m not laughing because your wish is funny—it just felt so much like you that I couldn’t help it.”

“I’m serious. Right now, the most important things to me are love and health.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll get both.”

Nahyuk answered with a steady voice.

“In that case… will you work hard at the lab today to make my medicine? I realized all over again today that my life depends on you.”

“…”

Kangil, silent, gently pushed him back to look at his face. With a sigh, he stared down at him.

“My sly little wildcat, bossing your lover around already.”

“So you don’t like it?”

“Who said that? Boss me around more. I’ll make sure you’re healthy so we can roll around in the same bed every day.”

How healthy would he have to be to keep up with doing it with Kangil every single day? Nahyuk couldn’t even begin to imagine.

* * *

After sending Kangil off to work, Nahyuk also left the house early. He asked the driver to take him somewhere familiar—Kim Daon’s home.

Now that he had confessed his relationship with Kangil to Seo Dowoong, he wanted to do the same with Daon and share his true feelings.

Of course, Daon would be hurt, but it seemed far better than leaving him waiting endlessly for an answer.

As he looked out at the familiar streets through the car window, Nahyuk found himself wishing Daon had never loved him.

If only Daon hadn’t been the original story’s favorite. If only he weren’t such a kind person. If only Nahyuk had treated him as coldly as he did Seo Dowoong—things might have been different now.

Maybe Daon and Seo Dowoong would have found love with each other, just like in the original plot.

But the past couldn’t be undone. And truthfully, Nahyuk wasn’t the type who could treat anyone unkindly.

He had even felt a measure of sympathy for Seo Dowoong.

Born with a gentle heart, he often gave so much of himself that it sometimes left him at a loss. Coldness simply wasn’t in his nature.

He could pretend for a while, but only for a while.

Today would likely be no different. The odds of him speaking coldly to Daon were slim.

But Daon wouldn’t beg or force his feelings onto him. He too was kind and warm-hearted.

That was what worried Nahyuk most—that Daon might act unhurt, hiding his pain, carrying the heartbreak alone.

While thinking this, he found himself already at Daon’s doorstep.

The moment he called Daon, the front door opened.

“Hyung, I was waiting for you.”

How he had known he was there, Nahyuk had no idea.

Regardless, Daon’s face was radiant.

Tall and broad-shouldered, he always looked good in just a plain white shirt and casual pants. But today he had dressed up more than usual, and it made him shine as though he were glowing.

“Do you have plans with someone else?”

When Nahyuk asked, sensing from his clothes that he must, Daon shook his head.

“No. I have plans with you.”

“I only said we’d meet at your place…”

“Let’s go out. Stay with me until dinner today.”

“But…”

Daon gently took hold of Nahyuk’s wrist, leading him along.

He opened the passenger door of a car parked in the apartment lot and guided Nahyuk inside, even fastening his seatbelt for him. Then he paused for a moment.

“Daon?”

Without answering, Daon slid into the driver’s seat and turned the wheel with practiced ease.

“What’s with the car? Didn’t you scrap yours after the accident?”

“I bought a new one.”

“…”

“For our dates.”

Daon smiled slyly, but Nahyuk only worried more.

“Are you sure you’re okay driving? I thought you’d avoid it after the accident… I don’t mind taking a taxi today.”

“I’m fine. No trauma or anything. What matters is that I don’t want you to be inconvenienced.”

He glanced at Nahyuk as he continued.

“I bought it with you in mind, so I want you to be the one who rides in it most.”

“Daon…”

What could he say to that?

Of course, it wasn’t as if he would never ride in Daon’s car, but he could never be the one to ride in it the most.

Unable to answer honestly, Nahyuk fidgeted in silence, not wanting to ruin Daon’s bright mood.

“Hyung, you’re feeling burdened and uncomfortable, aren’t you?”

“…Yeah.”

“Even so, I’d like you to think of me a little more. I sound cruel, don’t I?”

“Daon, no matter what you say, I know better than anyone that you’re a good person.”

“You’re always the same. Your faith in me is so steady that sometimes I feel like you trust me more than my late parents ever did.”

“…”

“And maybe that’s why I like it so much.”

Daon switched topics as smoothly as he turned the steering wheel.

“Aren’t you curious where we’re going?”

“Where are we going?”

“To one of my favorite places—second only to you.”

“You don’t… need to add things like that.”

“Our hyung is unusually cold today.”

Daon only chuckled, clearly finding his muttering cute. He hummed lightly to himself as he drove toward their destination.

Nahyuk couldn’t take his eyes off him, and he thought,

“Before today ends, I have to tell him the truth.”

But until then, he would do his best not to spoil Daon’s mood.

That was the greatest kindness he could offer him.