IPSTDS Chapter 65

Chapter 65

When Nahyuk had first read Even in Ruins, Flowers Bloom, he had cheered on Seo Dowoong and Kim Daon’s love. But now, he only wished for Daon to meet someone better than Seo Dowoong.

After what Seo Dowoong had done to him, there was no way he could be called a good man.

Even if things somehow worked out and he ended up with Daon, Dowoong seemed like the type who would occasionally kiss other people—just like he had kissed Nahyuk for no reason at all.

And yet, Nahyuk asked something that didn’t match his own thoughts.

“Don’t you want to meet Seo Dowoong again and try to work things out?”

After all, he had played a part in causing their rift. Nahyuk felt a small sense of responsibility for that.

Of course, he had no intention of meddling to the point of pushing them back together.

Just this one question.

After this, it was best not to interfere in their relationship anymore.

“I’ll meet him at least. We’ve shared too much history. Even if it’s the end, I should face him in person. Who knows, maybe things could work out.”

“……”

Nahyuk could tell Daon had hurriedly added that hopeful line. His words said one thing, but Daon seemed to be bracing himself for an ending with Seo Dowoong.

Nahyuk didn’t know what face to make, or what words to say. He couldn’t exactly say “that’s good,” nor could he sit there brooding.

“And don’t think it’s your fault that things broke down with Seo Dowoong. You don’t need to feel guilty. So don’t take it too seriously.”

“Yeah.”

How could he read people’s hearts so well? Daon’s words, placing no blame on him, lightened Nahyuk’s tangled heart considerably.

“But it’s strange. If this were you before you changed, you would’ve thought this was your chance and gone running to see Seo Dowoong every day.”

Nahyuk gave the same answer he always did.

“I really don’t like Seo Dowoong. Not even a trace of lingering feelings.”

He didn’t know how many times he had said he didn’t like Seo Dowoong anymore. Surely everyone around him ought to believe it by now?

Every time he saw their disbelief, Nahyuk thought the same thing—Yoon Noah’s love must have truly been absolute and unwavering.

Thinking of that pure devotion made Nahyuk remember his own feelings from the past—his wholehearted love for a colleague at work.

The way he had loved that colleague, and the way Yoon Noah had loved Seo Dowoong for so long, felt strangely similar.

It made him wonder—was that why he had ended up in Yoon Noah’s body?

Recalling his own past self, Nahyuk spoke of what it felt like to let go of someone he had once loved with all his heart.

“I loved them for so long… but because I loved them so sincerely, because I did everything I could for them, when I finally decided to let go… there wasn’t even a shred of regret left.”

“……”

“Once you let go, it’s so freeing. I don’t know why I let myself suffer for so long.”

Nahyuk wished the Yoon Noah in the novel could also let go of Seo Dowoong.

Or maybe even fall for Lee Kangil instead—that wouldn’t be so bad. In the novel, Kangil had at least shown some interest in Noah.

‘Mr. Yoon Noah. I hope you don’t die, and that you can find happiness.’

He wished desperately that the Yoon Noah of the story could free himself from Seo Dowoong.

Lost in those thoughts, he suddenly realized Daon had gone quiet.

“Sorry. It’s your birthday, and I ended up talking about depressing stuff.”

Daon quietly shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I just hope you never have to go through a painful kind of love again.”

Nahyuk wanted that too. He wanted to live simply, thinking only of love with the one he loved.

And the person who suddenly came to mind was the one who spouted nonsense day and night—Lee Kangil. What would become of him and Kangil?

“That’s why I’m curious. Are you doing this fake relationship with Lee Kangil because you actually have some feelings for him? …Of course, if it’s too hard to answer, you don’t have to.”

It wasn’t hard, nor was it uncomfortable. Nahyuk answered honestly.

“I don’t know if it’s love. But at the very least, it’s not dislike.”

If he had to put it in black and white—like or dislike—then Nahyuk did like Kangil. But whether that was truly love, he couldn’t say for sure.

“Thanks for answering.”

Daon continued, with a strangely relieved look.

“When Seo Dowoong’s around, I’ll pretend I don’t know anything about you and Lee Kangil.”

“Yeah. Do you have any other questions?”

“Well… if, hypothetically, I completely ended things with Seo Dowoong…”

But Daon faltered, his gaze slipping away as if hesitant to finish. For the first time, he looked somewhere other than Nahyuk’s eyes.

“…Never mind. I think I was being impatient.”

He even let go of Nahyuk’s hand, rising to his feet.

“Hyung, would you have a drink with me? A birthday toast?”

“…Yeah, sure.”

Nahyuk watched Daon’s broad back as he walked away.

‘Even if he’s drifted apart from Seo Dowoong… ending it must still be hard.’

That must have been why Daon’s voice trembled faintly when he spoke of ending things.

What answer had Daon been hoping to hear from me when he brought that up?

Nahyuk only drank a few glasses of the wine Daon poured for him. He didn’t drink much, worried it might strain his weak heart.

The truth was, before he possessed Yoon Noah’s body, Nahyuk had been a heavy drinker. But now he held back, not knowing this body’s tolerance.

In the novel, Noah had often been shown drunk, so his capacity couldn’t have been strong. If memory served, the real Noah would even stumble around after just one can of beer.

To confess, Nahyuk had never had a strong tolerance either. But ever since he’d become an adult, his drinking capacity had slowly grown.

The reason was both pathetic and sad.

Whenever life was hard or exhausting, with nothing else to do, he had taken to drinking soju alone, little by little. And before he knew it, his tolerance had risen.

Eventually, he reached the point where no matter how much he drank, he couldn’t get drunk. Maybe that was how many hardships he’d been through.

And yet… since becoming Noah, he hadn’t once craved alcohol. Part of it was because this body was sick, but also because Nahyuk hadn’t felt unhappy lately.

In fact, he’d felt happy.

Even if he collapsed and lost consciousness, he didn’t feel it was misfortune. Perhaps because he believed that as long as the Noah in the story didn’t die, he too wouldn’t die so easily.

He carried the hope that he would always wake up again.

And now, he even had a lover—even if it was fake—who cared for him, and a younger friend who sincerely thought of him.

What more could he ask for?

If he wished for too much, the happiness he had now might disappear or slip away. Nahyuk knew how to stop himself from being greedy.

He knew too well that whenever he had gotten greedy, all that came back to him was disappointment. His life had always been like that.

‘I’m really living a happy life right now.’

Sitting with his favorite Daon, sharing wine, Nahyuk was only filled with gratitude.

Was Daon feeling happy, too?

When he was celebrating with his younger brothers earlier, Daon had seemed cheerful. But ever since the story about Lee Kangil came up, he seemed subdued.

It looked like a shadow had fallen over his handsome face. The strange thing was—even when burdened with worries, Daon’s face was still striking.

“Daon, did your mood drop because of me?”

“No. What are you saying? I feel really good right now. Hyung celebrated my birthday, I got lots of presents, and now you’re even drinking with me. That makes me even happier.”

“But I’m not even drinking wine anymore. I’m just sitting here in front of you.”

“That’s enough, hyung.”

Daon didn’t force the wine on him. Even if Nahyuk didn’t drink, all Daon asked was that he clink glasses with him from time to time. Just a small, modest request.

Nahyuk granted it, touching his glass to Daon’s, chatting lightly with him. Still, Daon didn’t look any brighter.

Nahyuk’s worry deepened, and so did the night.

He wasn’t drunk, but suddenly his eyelids felt unbearably heavy. Maybe his condition had finally hit its limit.

He cursed Noah’s body, which tired so easily. He wanted to talk longer with Daon, to cheer him up…

“Daon… I’m getting sleepy now.”

When had Kangil said he would come to pick him up? And did Kangil even know where Daon’s house was?

At that moment, his phone seemed to buzz several times.

Nahyuk tried to open it, but the crushing wave of drowsiness didn’t leave him any strength. He couldn’t even lift a finger.

His head dropped heavily onto the table. He fell asleep so suddenly that he didn’t even realize the moment it happened.