IPSTDS Chapter 77

Chapter 77

His half-dreaming mind jolted awake. It felt as though cold water had been poured over his whole body. Nahyuk forced his half-closed eyelids open and stared at his phone screen.

What kind of content had been uploaded?

He naturally recalled the events of Chapter 76, the last one he had read.

Chapter 76 had been about Seo Dowoong’s birthday, and Kim Daon struggling to decide what kind of present he should give. After much thought, his decision was not to give a gift, but to confess his feelings instead.

But Seo Dowoong, delayed by Yoon Noah’s sudden interference and collapse, was late to meet Daon.

Though Noah’s meddling only stalled them briefly and they did eventually meet, the main thread of the chapter was the quiet, intimate time the two shared together afterward.

Daon’s actual confession had not yet been shown.

Nahyuk tapped on Chapter 77 and began to read the original.

The beginning of Chapter 77 opened with Kim Daon’s bold confession.

「Seo Dowoong. Go out with me.”

Seo Dowoong’s eyes widened slightly at Daon’s straightforward words.

But the surprise lasted only a moment. A gentle smile spread across his face, as though this was the very thing he had wanted to hear.

“To be honest, it’s not something as dramatic as ‘I could die for you’…”

“Then what?”

“But out of everyone I’ve liked so far, you’re the one I like best. I want to know you better.”

“That sounds like you want to monopolize me.”

“That’s right. I do want to monopolize you.”

At Daon’s string of frank words, Dowoong finally let out a laugh.

Watching him, Daon was certain his confession had succeeded.

He thought he had never seen Dowoong smile this brightly before.

“You beat me to it.”

Dowoong’s languid voice didn’t waver from Daon.

“So what’s your answer? I want to hear it clearly.”

“I want to know you better too.”

With that, Dowoong tilted his head slightly and whispered damp breaths into Daon’s ear.

“I want to kiss you.”

Daon flushed a little and pushed him away, but Dowoong only looked at him fondly.」

The two headed to Dowoong’s officetel, an unmistakably heated atmosphere between them.

No sooner had they entered than their lips met. As if predetermined, their tongues entwined tightly.

Nahyuk couldn’t bring himself to read that part properly and skimmed it with blurred eyes.

He had cheered for this couple, yet the more they revealed their affection for each other, the more uneasy he felt. As if he no longer wanted to witness their love.

No—that wasn’t it. Maybe it wasn’t that he rejected their love, but that he hated seeing Daon have physical contact with Seo Dowoong.

Nahyuk couldn’t quite grasp the sudden change in his own heart.

Fortunately, the two didn’t take things all the way.

Like Kangil and himself, they stopped at touching each other in their excitement.

Of course, Seo Dowoong seemed to want to go further, but Daon wasn’t willing.

Even though he was the main shou, Daon’s cynical nature kept him from easily accepting being pinned beneath Dowoong.

It was separate from how much he liked him.

He didn’t even stay the night at Dowoong’s place, but went back home.

He liked Dowoong, he was aroused by him, but he still wanted to sleep at home. He couldn’t stand not watching over his younger brothers’ bedtime.

Rather than being annoyed, Dowoong found Daon’s unyielding nature endearing.

If Daon hadn’t been that kind of person, he wouldn’t have liked him in the first place. In Dowoong’s eyes, there was nothing about Daon he disliked.

Nahyuk thought the chapter would end there. But at the end came something about Yoon Noah, who had hardly appeared lately.

「Yoon Noah, who had fainted in front of Seo Dowoong, only regained consciousness late at night. Overcome by terrible thirst, he instinctively called for water.

“W-water…”

But in his private hospital room, no one was there. No one to listen, no one to respond.

Noah looked around the dark room, lights turned off, an emptiness so barren it was frightening.

Even though he was usually alone, he had never felt such a thing before.

The thought of dying from his illness frightened him less than the thought of dying all alone.

What if, at the moment he truly died, there was no one at his side…

“……”

A tear slid down from his large eyes.

Unbelievably for someone who hated crying so much, he sobbed aloud.

Yoon Noah was devastated.

Why was no one by his side?

How could he be this lonely?

Had he lived his life wrong?

He couldn’t claim he had lived kindly, but he had lived with the desperate wish for one thing: to be loved.

Was it wrong to try to be loved by the person he loved?

Should he have given up on Seo Dowoong long ago?

Maybe because he had been ill so often, even his heart felt weak.

For the first time in years, Noah thought he wanted to give up on Seo Dowoong. He was too tired, so tired he wanted to give it all up.

Ever since he had fallen for Seo Dowoong, he had continued to love him no matter what words were thrown at him.

Because he believed without doubt that one day Dowoong would look his way.

He had thought that Daon, arrogant as he was, was only a passing wind, and that he alone would remain by Dowoong’s side forever.

But it had all been his delusion.

It seemed Seo Dowoong liked Daon far more than he had imagined.

Noah hadn’t forgotten the words Dowoong had spat at him right before he fainted.

“You bastard. Because of you, I was late to meet Kim Daon. Can’t you get your act together?”

At that moment, Yoon Noah truly felt like he was going to die.

His chest felt as if it were being ripped apart, and he thought he might not survive. He even found himself thinking it was fortunate to see Seo Dowoong’s face before dying.

And then he heard Seo Dowoong’s cold words, right in the middle of those thoughts.

‘So if I die, you won’t grieve—you’ll actually feel relieved…’

Only then did Noah realize the thick veil over his eyes for Dowoong had finally fallen away.

He was not the one who would stay by Seo Dowoong’s side forever. He was only a fleeting breeze, not Kim Daon.

The reality was devastating.

Noah kept shedding tears as he wondered how he was supposed to go on living. What was the point of living when no one stayed by his side? When no one loved him?

He wanted to just die and vanish from the world.

He had failed in love, been abandoned by his family, had not a single friend…

His life was worthless. He had neither the value nor the reason to go on living.

It was then, at that very moment, that the hospital room door—which he thought would never open—creaked open.

“……”

Through tear-blurred eyes, Noah looked toward the door. There, he saw a tall man in a white coat.

It was Lee Kangil.

“The wildcat’s wasting away to nothing.”

It was the first time Noah had seen him again since crawling between his legs.

That day, when Noah had crawled there, Kangil had handed over the experimental drug—though demanding a steep price in return.

Noah had paid it without much difficulty. His bank balance had been precarious, but he had plenty of things he could sell.

Whether the drug worked or not, Noah was able to live almost like a normal person, apart from occasionally collapsing.

“You… hhic, how did you….”

Noah didn’t like this odd, slightly ridiculous man, Kangil.

But in the midst of unbearable loneliness, Kangil was the only one who came to see him, and today that made him glad.

Noah could only look at him, his eyes stripped of venom. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything cruel.

“How? I walked here, obviously.”

Answering absurdly, Kangil strode over on his long legs and sat on the edge of the bed.

“When you passed out, I checked the progression of your illness. Unfortunately, your health has declined even further. At this rate, you might kick the bucket soon.”

“……”

“The drug’s not a miracle cure. I told you to take it easy. Did you push yourself because you’ve got a death wish?”

Am I really going to die like this? I don’t want to die—not now, not yet…

“Noah, is there anything you want to do before you die?”

Kangil asked as though foretelling his death.

Noah felt like invisible death was tightening around his throat. Crying was already exhausting enough, and now it felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

He had always hated seeming weak, so he spoke harshly. He had always been ashamed of showing sincerity, so he spoke in circles.

But now, he just wanted to be honest. His tattered heart could no longer hide the truth.

With heavy tears streaming down, Noah confessed his true feelings.

“Please… hold me.”」