IYAMD: Episode 69

The search party returned after quite some time. Marsilia had not left the tent until then, while Jaha was sitting cross-legged nearby, reflecting on his conversation with him.

When he had answered that he felt guilty, Jaha had seen the frustration flicker in his eyes. Even though he thought it wasn’t his fault, why did he still feel concerned?

Jaha sighed deeply, unaware that the knights waiting outside had begun to focus on him. He didn’t even hear their whispers, which expressed concern over the relationship between the Emperor and him.

As time passed and the crowd grew noisier, Marsilia appeared from the tent and called for General Des and Jaha. Once the three of them gathered, he spoke.

“We found a dragon in the valley.”

At those words, General Des bit his tongue and let out a groan. “Dragon? What in the world…”

Unable to continue, General Des fell silent, and Marsilia briefly explained the situation.

“As I mentioned earlier, there might be a rift in the dimension. But nothing unusual was visible. It could be that the dragon’s size is hiding it, or perhaps we just can’t see it.”

“We need to act immediately.”

“It doesn’t seem like it plans to move just yet. It’s likely had a meal and fallen asleep, so we still have some time.”

“Then, what are your plans, Your Majesty?”

“I’ve sent Sasha, so we’ll have to wait. I’ve also asked Serez to request support from the mage tower, so we should get a response in 2-3 days. In the meantime, we need to call the main force here.”

Marsilia tilted his head slightly and then asked General Des, “Can you make a ballista? It might take too long to get support from other territories.”

“I can make one, but compared to the engineers, it won’t be very effective.”

“As long as it works, I don’t mind.”

“We have enough materials. The byproducts from the Minotaur are plenty, and since we’re close to the mountains, we can also get wood.”

“Then start preparing the wood. If we dry it while the main force is moving, we might save some time.”

Jaha quietly listened to the conversation. He didn’t fully understand half of it, so he figured it wasn’t his place to intervene.

General Des wanted to ask more, but hurriedly left. An uncomfortable silence filled the tent.

Marsilia was the first to speak.

“If you want, you can return to the palace.”

“Return?”

Marsilia nodded indifferently.

“If I return, I’ll have to deal with the noble council, so it would be better if you stayed in the palace until then. If I can’t return…”

Jaha stepped closer to him. Only then did Marsilia’s gaze, which had been directed elsewhere, turn back to him. After a brief moment of eye contact, Marsilia gently stroked Jaha’s cheek with his hand.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened earlier. Of course, I’m grateful for your help. But if you’re helping because of guilt, I’d rather refuse.”

Marsilia let out a small sigh.

“You’d probably think I’m a fool for saying this, but, Jaha… I’m a man too. Sometimes I make passionate, immature decisions to protect my pride.”

The man looked at Jaha softly and narrowed his eyes.

“If I can’t return, you’re free. If I die, your the mark will also disappear.”

“What… does that mean…”

When Jaha opened his mouth, Marsilia interrupted and continued.

“Honestly, it’s because I don’t feel confident about winning. I don’t want to see you die right in front of me. So please, return to the palace, Jaha.”

For a moment, something that had been rising quietly settled down. Marsilia’s weak expression didn’t make Jaha angry. While it was a little disheartening, he didn’t think it was something hard to understand. But just because he understood it didn’t mean he had to listen to those words.

“I will stay.”

Marsilia’s face crumpled. Looking at his eyes, which were hard to read, Jaha spoke clearly.

“I’ll be of use to the force. So, I’ll stay.”

After a short pause, Marsilia asked.

“Why?”

He briefly closed his mouth but seemed to think he needed to add something. His lips moved, and Jaha waited for him to speak. After a deep sigh and scratching his head, he finally spoke.

“You said it yourself. You’re not my subject. So, there’s no reason for you to stay here and die for nothing.”

Jaha exhaled sharply, lowering his gaze.

“I want to see what you do.”

Marsilia silently waited as if encouraging him, and Jaha stammered, struggling to find the right words.

“I… I want to help you with what you do.”

After a brief pause, Marsilia softly asked, “Is it because of guilt?”

Jaha quietly shook his head. When he raised his eyes, they met with Marsilia’s, whose expression was complicated.

He couldn’t explain the feeling he had. It wasn’t guilt. He just felt sorry for him.

He admired and felt pity for the man who was constantly striving to protect something. He wanted to help him. Because Jaha, who had failed to protect anything, didn’t want him to lose anything after all his efforts.

So that he wouldn’t feel the same immense loss.

Jaha was sweating as he tried to combine every word and sentence he knew to explain.

Looking at the man who was nervously licking his lips, Jaha finally finished organizing his thoughts and opened his mouth.

“I think you’re amazing. You’re wonderful. The way you’re trying to protect the empire is admirable.”

He couldn’t express the word “respect,” and it made his chest feel tight. Jaha furrowed his brows in irritation, and the man reached out, gently rubbing between his brows. Jaha, who subtly pulled away from the touch, tapped his chest and spoke.

“I… respect you. That’s why I want to help.”

Marsilia smiled, his face contorting slightly.

“So you don’t love me romantically, but you like me as a person, right?”

“I don’t like you in that way.”

Rather than saying “I like you,” the words “I have reverence” seemed more fitting.

Jaha truly thought he was impressive for living so intensely. That’s why he wanted to help him.

To Jaha, who only knew everyday conversations, it felt difficult to explain such complex words, and his throat felt constricted. He felt more frustrated than when he couldn’t speak at all. What was going on?

The man, who had been observing Jaha’s expression, sighed deeply.

“You’re so cruel to me. Do you know that?”

What is he talking about? Jaha lifted his head, and Marsilia smiled with a gloomy expression.

“How could you answer like that, saying you don’t like me?”

“Are you asking me to say it in another way? How?”

Frustrated, Jaha asked repeatedly.

“I don’t understand your language very well. So how am I supposed to say it?”

Jaha couldn’t even say half of what he wanted. Often, even simple things he wanted to say would make him hesitate and think before answering.

What could be so amazing about the language he had learned in just two years? To be honest, sometimes he wasn’t even sure if he was saying the right thing. Many times, he just assumed that as long as the general meaning got across, it would be fine and didn’t elaborate further.

There was no point in explaining when it was clear he wouldn’t be able to do it properly anyway.

Hearing Jaha’s irritation, Marsilia blinked in surprise.

“I thought you were good with words.”

“There are many things I want to say, but I don’t know how.”

“The more complicated the words, the harder it gets. I can’t express everything I want to say. And you don’t listen to me properly. What else do you want me to do?”

His attitude had been irksome more than once. But Jaha didn’t point it out. It wasn’t because he was the emperor, but because he didn’t listen to what Jaha had to say.

He pretended to be kind, but the man wasn’t kind at all. Even though he acted like he was listening to Jaha’s words, he often misunderstood or ignored the important ones, making his own conclusions.

He thought about it, and anger started to rise.

When Jaha glared, Marsilia’s face filled with a look of embarrassment.

“You’re so unpredictable. I always ask again when I don’t understand what you’re saying. But you? Have you ever done that? You always say what you want to, but when I say something, you say it hurts. And you don’t even understand the meaning of my words.”

The man, eyes downcast, nodded after a while.

“You’re right. I apologize.”

“Sorry?”

He slowly nodded and answered.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Will you do it again?”

“…I’ll try not to.”

Jaha made a firm decision.

“I’m staying here.”

The man’s answer came a little late.

“…Okay.”

Jaha walked to the center of the tent, sat down, and crossed his legs.

Looking up at the man who was still standing there, Jaha spoke.

“Then…Help me cultivate my inner energy”

“…What do you want me to do?”

“Stand there and watch over me.”

It was urgent to recover the inner energy that had not been fully restored yet. Since he couldn’t build muscles right away, the only thing he could do was recover his inner energy.

As he closed his eyes to do the long-delayed task, he felt the man’s gaze on him.

As he gathered his inner energy in his dantian, that sensation quickly vanished. Jaha slowly calmed his breathing and began circulating his inner energy through his meridians.

Jaha slowly descended into his consciousness. It took a little while to reach a state of complete meditation, but gradually, the sensations and sounds around him faded away.

Just before entering a completely void world, the corners of Jaha’s lips lifted quietly.