M 63

Ki Tae-jeong tilted his head skeptically with his arms crossed. His expression said, “Did this bastard get shot in the head? What nonsense is he spouting?”

“Are you proposing marriage now?”

“Well… contextually, there’s not much difference, is there? Since it’s not a gift for a friend…”

“A ring might be interpreted differently, so that’s a bit tricky, but preparing various things seems like a good idea. Lee Sehwa, I mean, Mr. Lee Sehwa was quite touched when the Brigadier General gave him desserts before. I’m sure he’d feel moved again this time.”

Following Warrant Officer Choi, Lieutenant Park also chimed in with agreement. Lieutenant Na could only swallow a sigh of exasperation. A bouquet? Kifts? It’s not like they’re trying to tease someone bedridden from shock… Although Lieutenant Na was also awkward with relationships, he knew that sincere comfort was best in times like these. Right now, it seemed best to quietly listen to whatever Sehwa had to say, whether he was sad or angry.

“I’ll stay at the quarters. Why don’t you go with Warrant Officer Choi? I think Warrant Officer Choi has better taste in choosing items than I do.”

Lieutenant Na found his clueless colleagues frustrating. On the other hand, he pitied them too. They were acting this way because they didn’t know any better. He wanted to advise them not to do this, that it would be better to say sorry rather than showering him with gifts… but he couldn’t bring himself to speak up.

The superior’s warning not to cross the line wasn’t an empty threat. Ki Tae-jeong deeply resented others presuming to judge his personal matters. With an arrogant face that said, “I don’t even pity myself, so who are you to do so?”, he had brutally punished those who violated his fastidiousness. As far as Lieutenant Na knew, no one had survived touching on this subject in front of him. Kiven Ki Tae-jeong’s nature, he would keenly detect any trace of sympathy in well-meaning advice. Especially after making such a big mistake, he would likely try to kill without mercy.

Lieutenant Na stood with his hands behind his back, staring at the floor. Ki Tae-jeong was right. What he had done just now was mere self-satisfaction in upholding a shallow belief. Despite using concern for the patient as an excuse, he had ultimately chosen his own comfort and safety over the person who needed care. Ashamed of this cowardice, he couldn’t lift his head.

***

“Ugh…”

Sehwa struggled to lift his heavy eyelids. He was sure he had buried his face in the sofa, but when he came to, he was on a bed. It seemed to be the guest room where he had fallen asleep yesterday.

Quite some time must have passed, as it was dark outside. After staring blankly at the dimly lit room, Sehwa stumbled to the bathroom. Turning on the light, he saw his reflection in the mirror… it was quite a sight. Only his eyes and cheeks were bright red, as if he’d been punched. He stared vacantly at his flushed, warm face before waving his hand near the sensor. He splashed cold water on his face several times, but deep down, Sehwa knew. This wouldn’t soothe his burning insides.

Pregnant, 5 weeks, or was it 6 weeks? Anyway, pregnant… Sehwa looked down at his stomach blankly. Is there really something in here? After feeling around his waist area, he let his hand drop limply.

Ki Tae-jeong claimed he didn’t know. He said he had no idea his body had changed or that he was pregnant, and that his lewd comments on the subject were just his filthy habit of speaking. Of course, it was hard to believe, but… His words that he would have been more careful if he had known, that he didn’t want a child to live a life like his, didn’t seem to be lies. So now, what should he do…

“Huh?”

Sighing as he roughly wiped his wet face with his top, Sehwa’s puffy eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t noticed earlier because he hadn’t thought to look at the other side, but facing away from where he had been lying, an enormous number of boxes were packed tightly into the room.

“What’s all this…”

Did they just throw things in here because there was nowhere else to store them? But the way the layers were stacked and the angles of the shopping bags placed here and there seemed too perfect, as if carefully arranged. Looking closer, there was even a huge flower basket on the table.

…Surely all this isn’t for me? He muttered anxiously to himself, but in fact, the intended recipient of everything was all too clear. After all, why would they bring so many items into a guest room where someone was staying?

Sehwa, who had been pacing aimlessly in front of the table, belatedly noticed a white envelope tucked among the bright red roses and stopped in his tracks.

“A letter…?”

Sehwa quickly stopped himself as he reached out as if entranced. He shouldn’t open it. It might not be his. It could be a letter for Ki Tae-jeong, and it would be a big problem if he opened it carelessly. It could be an important message from the military…

Sehwa lingered around that area for a long time. After bustling about and accidentally knocking over a stack of green boxes that reached his waist, he finally decided to open it. He knew it wasn’t polite, but he thought that looking at it would clarify who these items were for. Wouldn’t it be a greater rudeness to mistakenly think someone else’s belongings might be his? So… muttering excuses to himself, he tore off the plastic wrapping.

If it was something Ki Tae-jeong received from someone else, that would be fine. But if it was a letter he wrote to him… What should he do then? Sehwa, who had been contemplating with a serious face, found himself smiling slightly without realizing it. Not out of joy, but because he found his own tension ridiculous. Apart from how mind-boggling this situation was, he simply couldn’t imagine it. The image of Ki Tae-jeong sitting at a desk, pen in hand, supposedly writing him a letter.

Sehwa hesitated for a moment holding the envelope, then closed his eyes tightly and took out the contents. At the same time, something heavy slid out smoothly.

“…Ah.”

Sehwa blinked slowly. What had fallen with a thud onto the soft rug was a card. A black check card from the Federal Bank that would have contained 12 billion won if he hadn’t bought that 1,000 won ice cream. Sehwa quietly looked at the object that had fallen at his feet and unfolded the folded letter paper. It was blank. That was all – just one of those amazing cards that even 5-Star residents couldn’t easily obtain.

Sehwa hadn’t expected any lengthy explanations to begin with. He thought there would at least be some trivial note saying this was meant for him… Looking now, he saw the packaging sticker from the stationery brand was still attached to the plastic wrapping the envelope. “Express your heart!” exclaimed a speech bubble next to a smiling face.

Staring blankly at the pristine white inner pages and plastic, Sehwa bent down to pick up the card. He put the letter paper and check card back in the envelope and carefully returned it to where it had been. Express your heart… That was right. This must be Ki Tae-jeong’s way of expressing his heart. Bombarding the other person like this even though they couldn’t understand the meaning.

“…Haa.”

It had been his strength to quickly recover and bounce back even after going through difficulties. As quick as he was to give up, he easily accepted things and tended to tackle them enthusiastically again soon after. But now he felt nothing at all. What was the point in making any plans for the future? Wasn’t it enough to just eat the food given, sleep, take medicine when told, and have surgery when told? Things would go Ki Tae-jeong’s way anyway.

…Let’s stop. He was sick and tired of trying to figure out the meaning on his own, expecting things arbitrarily and then being disappointed. What was the use in sitting down and crying when no one would listen anyway?

“Why did you put it back?”

Sehwa, who had been backing away a couple steps from the flower basket, flinched in surprise at the voice that suddenly came from behind him.

“When it’s obvious who I bought it for.”

Ki Tae-jeong was leaning crookedly against the doorframe. When, no, how…? Sehwa quickly dismissed the question marks spreading in his mind. What do you mean how? He must have gotten up since he heard footsteps and water running.

“You must be hungry after crying all this time and sleeping until now.”

“……”

“…Is there anything you want to eat?”

“……”

Is there anything he wants to eat? Sehwa barely managed to look up at him, straining his legs that felt like they would collapse at any moment. Blinking his swollen eyes with difficulty.

“That…”

Embarrassed by his severely cracked voice, he rubbed his throat as if pinching it. After tapping his throat for a long time, Sehwa asked again clearly only after completely removing the tearfulness from his voice.

“Is that perhaps… payment for s3x?”

“…What?”

“Then I can’t accept it. That’s also a debt to be repaid with my body…”

A gaze that looked like it would devour him pierced through. The man was making a face he had never seen before. The raised eyebrow ridge looked precarious. His Adam’s apple, which had suddenly protruded as if greatly insulted, bobbed heavily.

“You once said there wouldn’t come a day where two billion would be shoved into this ‘h0le.’ I don’t think I’ve even paid off that debt yet. How could I possibly accept all of this?”

Sehwa was filled with a strange sense of elation at having drawn out an expression he had never seen before from the man with such insignificant words. What else could he say? He searched for the sharpest sentence he could utter. He wanted Ki Tae-jeong to also feel the disappointment of emotions arbitrarily inflated then deflated, but…

The strange heat soon returned to Sehwa like a boomerang. Revenge was not like hwatu cards – you couldn’t pay back the other person in exactly the same way. To inflict a similar blow on others, you also have to constantly examine your own festering wounds. Yes, in that sense, revenge was more like a drvg. You think you’ve bought just enough hallucination, but in the end all that’s left is a battered body and soul. Just like that, making the other person suffer one blow doesn’t make your own heart feel better. Rather, it only felt painful and empty. It only made you realize once again how deep your own wounds were.

This too… is something he shouldn’t do. Sehwa pressed down on his throbbing chest and avoided his fiercely burning gaze. The air, honed as if it would split his body in half at any moment, was harsh. As he stubbornly stared only at the flower basket, pretending not to know, a sturdy arm suddenly entered his field of vision. As if telling him not to avoid it, Ki Tae-jeong abruptly turned his body around.

“Payment for s3x?”

As if the mere repetition of the words was absurd, he laughed coldly. It was a low voice drawn from deep inside, as if holding something back.

“You should use the correct terms. I didn’t give it to you for selling your body, but because you got pregnant.”

Sehwa’s gaze, which had been thrown somewhere around Ki Tae-jeong’s shoulders, froze solid.

“……”

“Then ‘alimony’ would be a more appropriate expression than payment for s3x, don’t you think?”

Their wavering gazes intertwined. Sehwa’s pathetic figure was reflected in Ki Tae-jeong’s eyes. A face severely distorted from trying hard to hold back the welling emotions. After blinking his eyes for a moment unable to say anything, Sehwa soon dropped his head. He didn’t want to show his face that was clearly hurt anymore.

“…How can you, Brigadier General…”

A dry laugh flowed out instead of tears. He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. He didn’t want to cry either… It’s okay since he had no expectations. He wasn’t unaware that this was Ki Tae-jeong’s personality to begin with, so…

“Lee Sehwa.”

Ki Tae-jeong firmly grasped Sehwa’s waist. He struggled, telling him to let go, but he lifted his body high as if this level of resistance was nothing. A warm body temperature touched the tips of his feet that had been flailing in the air. The place where Sehwa’s soles slowly settled was not the cold marble, but on top of his firm feet. It was in the arms of the man who had been breaking him and making his cry all day today, the one who said he was giving alimony, not payment for s3x.

“…What I was trying to say was.”

After starting to speak, Ki Tae-jeong just held Sehwa without continuing his words. He held him tightly so that he couldn’t create even a little distance between them.

“I said it earlier too. You know better than me how to deal with those who are worse than vermin.”

“……”

“If I had viewed you that way, I would have put you on the operating table as soon as I found out you were pregnant, whether you died or not.”

The pungent, thick scent of cologne firmly enveloped Sehwa’s trembling body.

“…I said I didn’t know.”

“……”

“I also said I’d take full responsibility.”

If not that, Ki Tae-jeong paused for a moment.

“Is there perhaps something else you want? From me?”