MDQ Ch 11

It was an unexpected kiss. Jung Yohan’s hot breath that had brushed against my nape was now filling my mouth.

Jung Yohan kissed me more roughly than usual, pressing me so hard I couldn’t even breathe.

I instinctively stepped back, but he immediately followed and pinned me against the wall. There was nowhere to run.

His fingers, raking through my hair, were tense with strength.

Whether it was because I was drunk or because I couldn’t withstand the violent kiss, the strength drained out of my struggling body. I barely managed to exhale as Jung Yohan mercilessly sucked at my lips.

At last, our lips parted. Gasping for air, I looked up at him.

“Why… why are you doing this?”

There hadn’t been a performance today, nor had anything in particular happened… I couldn’t fathom why he kissed me. Only the rapid thudding of my heart filled my ears.

“I don’t like it when the person I kiss reeks of another man.”

“…”

“Be honest. You’re not just satisfying my desire—you’re having fun with other people too, right? Did you always like men, hyung?”

His words, painting me as shameless, cooled my overheated body. Even my pounding heart returned to its normal pace.

Perhaps because I’d calmed down, I managed to respond rather coolly.

“That’s not it. And don’t you think your words are too harsh?”

“Just answer my question, hyung. I asked if you’ve always liked men.”

“…”

“You’d better answer before I say I’ll never meet your father again.”

“I’ve never like men.”

If I had to classify my past romantic partners, they were women.

But ever since I’d stumbled into kissing Jung Yohan, I had come to harbor different feelings toward him.

I could say with certainty: I had never felt excitement, much less desire, for any man other than Jung Yohan.

Unable to confess that far, I deflected.

“And Yohan, really, nothing happened.”

“I’m the only one you’ve kissed, right?”

“Yeah. Who else would I kiss…?”

I dropped my head. Despite how my body had been burning up moments ago, now I just felt miserable.

Being treated like a prostitute today, apologizing left and right despite having done nothing wrong… Maybe it was because too much had happened in a single day.

The comfort I’d felt for a short while thanks to Park Chungrim was soon swallowed up again by bitterness. When I blinked, hot tears were already running down my cheeks.

I had forced myself to hold back tears even when I had been treated unfairly by Seoho. But in the end, I let them spill. Perhaps it was the alcohol.

Not wanting him to notice I was crying, I bit down hard on my lower lip. Still, the silent tears slid down my face and dripped to the floor.

“Why are you crying?”

It seemed Jung Yohan had finally noticed my tears.

“Anyone watching would think I threatened you. I only gave you the kiss you like.”

You didn’t threaten me, but you did kiss me without my consent.

Unable to say it aloud, I only pressed my lips together.

Strangely enough, I thought I heard a trace of warmth in his otherwise hard voice. That couldn’t be. His hand lifted my face. He stared at my tear-streaked features, then roughly rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

“Was it really that unfair?”

“Yeah.”

“But think about it. It’s the first time you’ve come home after drinking alone with another man until three in the morning.”

“…”

“Don’t you think it’s natural I’d be suspicious?”

I had no idea why you were suspicious of me at all. What exactly were we to each other? I questioned our relationship, but I stayed silent, waiting for my tears to stop.

“I’ll say this one more time: I don’t like it when the person I kiss fools around with anyone else. Got it?”

Do you realize words like that make people misunderstand? It sounds as if you also have feelings for me.

“You can only kiss me.”

“…”

Even if I quit being your manager, would you still kiss me?

I had so much I wanted to ask, but in the end, I only nodded. I was exhausted. The day had been too long, and all I wanted was to sleep. I had no energy left to argue with Jung Yohan.

“I’ll go.”

Satisfied with my answer, Jung Yohan finally left the room. Even as my heart remained heavy, the warmth of his touch lingered on my cheek. Perhaps it was time I fully admitted that I was falling for Jung Yohan.

And at the same time, I sensed my first love would end as a one-sided crush. I was sure this would become an unreciprocated love, with no return from him.

Even while foreseeing such a bleak future, I couldn’t bring myself to give up on him. Maybe I liked him far more than I had realized.

I let out a bitter smile.

What a damn miserable unrequited love it was.

---

The next day, the hangover was brutal. Thank goodness the Given members had no schedules today.

Holding my pounding head, I drifted through the morning half-asleep. By the time I finally pulled myself together and washed my face, it was already past noon.

“Wow, my face is really swollen.”

Probably from crying yesterday—my eyes were puffed up the most. My whole face was bloated, and even my lips were swollen.

When I touched my swollen lips, it felt as if Jung Yohan’s warm breath still lingered there. How could I be excited by the memory of such a forceful kiss?

“I must be crazy.”

Crazy in love, or just plain crazy.

I clicked my tongue at myself, when suddenly a voice called for me.

“Hyuuung! Are you up? Why did you sleep in so late today?”

It was Park Saebit. Without even knocking, he came into my room and plopped onto my bed.

“Hyung, you’re not going out today, right?”

“Uh… why?”

“Let’s work on lyrics together. You said my last ones were lame, didn’t you?”

It already sounded like a tiring request.

After a quick brunch, I was tormented by Park Saebit. I had to look through every one of the new lyrics he had written. Just like his previous ones, they felt oddly familiar. Probably because he’d memorized so many songs while studying lyrics, and to me, that resemblance stood out too much.

These days, people are hypersensitive about plagiarism… but I pressed my lips together.

“Hyung, what do you think? They’re different this time, right?”

Should I be honest again? Tell him not to lean too heavily on other songs as references?

But if I spoke frankly, he’d lash out at me again. Saying things like, Who are you to judge? Or that’s not even true. And so on. I already felt a headache coming on.

Today, I just didn’t have it in me to listen to those complaints. The weight of yesterday still lingered. So I carefully worded my reply, suggesting he ask someone else instead.

“How about you show them to someone else? Honestly, I’m just an amateur. I don’t trust my own judgment.”

“What? Are you just saying that because you’re tired of me?”

The smile on Saebit’s face instantly collapsed.

My heart dropped at the sight. Even my stomach twisted unpleasantly. I couldn’t predict what sharp words he might throw next.

“No, that’s not it… I just want you to grow more, that’s all.”

“Forget it. Why should I trust anyone else with my lyrics? What if they steal them?”

Who would want to steal them? Isn’t it you who borrowed too much from others?

I swallowed down the urge to be blunt and forced an awkward smile.

“That won’t happen. If you want, I can ask Chungrim-ssi to introduce you to a reliable lyricist.”

“Someone Park Chungrim introduce? I hate it even more. Forget others—I want you to evaluate them! Please? Please?”

Park Saebit clung to me, leaning in close. For someone with such a cute face, he was still a whole head taller than me. The problem was that I had been sitting on the bed because the desk was too cramped. Unable to withstand his weight, my body tipped backward.

“…!”

The moment my back hit the mattress, I felt hot breath against my neck. When I opened my tightly shut eyes, all I saw was Park Saebit’s brown hair. He had fallen forward onto the bed with me, his face landing just beneath my chin. Which meant the hot breath on my nape was…

‘Did Park Saebit’s lips just touch me?’

Before I could push him away, he sprang up like a spring. His face, slightly flushed, was right in front of mine.

“Why are you so weak? And why is your neck so soft?”

His demeanor flipped as though he had never scowled. He almost looked bashful.

I rubbed the spot on my neck where Park Saebit’s lips had brushed.

Hey, I’m the one who just got kissed by accident—so why are you the one flustered?