MDQ Ch 18

The next day, I woke up at dawn and began rousing the Given members one by one. Today, there was a variety show filming with all four of them.

I started with Park Saebit. The moment I approached his bed, thinking he was asleep, he suddenly grabbed my arm with a tight grip.

The force of it caused me to collapse onto his bed. Park Saebit hugged me and rubbed his face against my chest.

“Hyuuuung… I don’t want to get up.”

I looked down at him awkwardly. It was as if he had completely forgotten that he’d been angry with me.

But I couldn’t treat him entirely comfortably.

“Because I told him I liked you.”

It was because Park Saebit’s confession came to mind once again.

His words—that he liked me to some extent—stuck in my mind. Of course, it wasn’t a confession of love, but still…

At that moment, his face pressed against me, and I felt his familiar gaze.

“Hyung, pick me up, will you? Please?”

It wasn’t a strange request; I often carried him to wake him up. I hid my discomfort and lifted Park Saebit.

Even after sitting him on the bed, he didn’t let go of me.

Eventually, I dragged him completely out of bed, and by the time I did, it felt like I’d already done a full morning workout.

“Now go wash up. I’ll wake the others.”

“Okay, got it.”

Rubbing his eyes, Park Saebit went into the bathroom attached to his room. I exhaled in relief and woke Kang Junhyuk, who shared the same room.

“Hyung, I’ll get up if you film Shorts with me.”

It was an absurd request, but after waking Park Saebit, my energy was already more than half depleted. I answered vaguely, “Later.”

Even with that ambiguous answer, Kang Junhyuk happily got up.

Next, I easily woke Seo Seoho, who was also relatively easy to rouse.

Perhaps feeling guilty about what happened during the D Company shoot, Seo Seoho had been more obedient lately. Of course, he hadn’t actually apologized yet.

Finally, the only one left was Jung Yohan, who was easy to wake as well. Jung Yohan had a room to himself.

Just as I was about to enter Jung Yohan’s room, Park Saebit, already done washing, blocked me.

“Hyung, I’ll wake Leader hyung.”

Park Saebit was smiling, but his voice carried an unusual coldness. It was subtle enough that I wondered if I was imagining it.

‘Since the two haven’t reconciled, maybe some coldness is natural.’

Of course, Park Saebit and Jung Yohan didn’t openly show hostility, but they subtly ignored each other.

Because of that, I didn’t understand why Park Saebit declared he would wake Jung Yohan.

I decided to stop him before another incident happened.

“Then shall we wake him together?”

“Yeah, let’s wake him together.”

Park Saebit held my wrist so I couldn’t run and opened Jung Yohan’s room.

Water sounds suggested Jung Yohan was already up, washing in the attached bathroom.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I had managed to prevent Park Saebit’s impulsive action.

“Too bad. I wanted to wake Leader hyung together with you…”

He let out a deep sigh, staring at me.

His gaze sent a chill down my spine. Did he have some ulterior motive?

After hurriedly sending the members to the filming site, it was already past 3 PM.

Without catching my breath, I returned to the company and organized matters related to Kang Junhyuk’s solo album. Once the concept was finalized, lyrics needed to be written accordingly.

The concept meeting had unexpectedly dragged on.

Evening came, and I endured the meeting without having dinner.

‘The shoot should be over by now.’

I contacted Minsoo, who was guarding the filming site in my stead. He said it was almost finished.

Since it seemed too late for me to return, I asked Minsoo for a favor.

— “Minsoo, please make sure the boys get home safely.”

Unlike Chulmin, who was intimidated by the Given members, Minsoo handled them well enough, and I received a reliable reply.

— “Yes, Chief Lee.”

I felt reassured and returned to focusing on work.

In the meantime, Park Chungrim contacted me.

It was an extension of the conversation at the Japanese-style bar—whether I wanted to meet the lyricist I admired today. He happened to have an appointment today.

Of course, I wanted to meet the lyricist I had long admired, but I was utterly exhausted, and there was still work piling up.

I sent an apologetic reply to Park Chungrim. Only after saying I couldn’t meet today did regret set in.

When would I get such a chance again? I was wasting it so pointlessly.

I stretched widely and played a song I sometimes listen to whenever things get tough. The music flowing through my earphones was pleasant to hear.

The singer’s voice and melody were wonderful, but what I loved most were the lyrics.

The song was titled “We Regret Yesterday.”^[1] It was written by the lyricist I admired.

One day, I wanted to meet him and share my story.

I wanted to tell him how his lyrics had comforted me after losing my older brother overnight. I wanted to confess that I wanted to become a lyricist capable of comforting others, just like him.

I finished organizing my work while dreaming of meeting him.

By the time I had almost finished, it was late at night. An unbearable hunger hit me.

‘I want the meal my father made.’

At times of extreme hunger, I strangely thought of my father’s cooking.

Although he rarely cooked for me, I liked his food.

It carried traces of my mother and my brother, who had passed long ago.

The dishes my mother often made, the ones my brother liked… my father used to make them well.

Perhaps it was because I had worked too much, or maybe because I was so hungry, I unconsciously headed toward my family home near the company.

I knew my father wouldn’t welcome me if I didn’t bring Jung Yohan with me.

Still, I hoped he might at least offer a warm meal.

Even after parking at the apartment, I couldn’t get out of the car for a while. Regret over my impulsive action came flooding in.

‘Should I turn the car around now…?’

As I hesitated, I saw a familiar silhouette. A man stood under the streetlights along the walking path.

It was my father.

He seemed to be on a call. At that moment, a conversation I had with Jung Yohan came to mind.

“I wish your father had cared for you, even half as much as you care for him.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’s nothing. It feels like I shouldn’t meddle in someone else’s family. And when the time comes, your father will tell you himself.”

Jung Yohan had spoken as if he knew something about my father. Did my father really hold a secret, just as Yohan suggested?

I quietly got out of the car and approached my father.

He was so focused on the call that he didn’t seem to notice me.

Finally, standing behind the streetlight, I could hear his voice clearly.

“Well, just trust me.”

Who was he talking to? My father rarely contacted anyone…

He had always emphasized that I was all he had left and had made sure I could never quit the company.

If I couldn’t earn money or he couldn’t see Jung Yohan anymore, he even said it would be better to die.

“Hyunseok, if even you turn your back on me, I’ll have nothing left. What’s the point of living miserably? I might as well die.”

I had felt subtle pressure from him for years.

But now, unbelievable words poured from his mouth.

“My son only cares about me. If I told him I was dying, he’d hand over everything he has to me. When I say I like a certain singer, he even makes sure I get to meet that singer in person.”

It seemed I shouldn’t listen any further.

If I did, it would surely hurt.

My heart began to race ominously.

I had a premonition that I was about to see a side of my father I had never known.

Yet my legs, stuck to the ground, wouldn’t move. Even knowing I might get hurt, I wanted to hear my father’s true intentions.

“Ah, I’m not lying. Don’t worry, come at the time I tell you next. Then you can meet a famous singer too.”

There was a faint smile in my father’s voice. Could this be the same man who had always spoken of death in front of me?