MDQ Ch 21
by LuluHaving left the dorm, Jung Yohan wandered near the convenience store where he had met Lee Hyunseok yesterday. Even though he knew Hyunseok wouldn’t be there, he went just in case.
As expected, Lee Hyunseok wasn’t in sight, so Jung Yohan sent him a message.
― “Please contact me.”
Jung Yohan sat at the table in the convenience store where he occasionally chatted with Lee Hyunseok. Sitting there, Lee Hyunseok’s tear-streaked face suddenly came to mind.
‘Was he really that upset about being betrayed by his father?’
Jung Yohan had learned about Lee Hyunseok’s father, Lee Donghee, two months ago.
That day had been like any other: after having dinner at Lee Donghee’s house, he had returned to the dorm with Lee Hyunseok.
But as soon as they returned, he realized he had left his phone at that house.
Jung Yohan wanted to go back with Lee Hyunseok, but the manager was sound asleep.
He couldn’t bring himself to wake him, breathing softly like a child. Without realizing it, Jung Yohan brushed Lee Hyunseok’s dry lips with his fingertips and left the room.
Lee Donghee’s apartment wasn’t far from the dorm, so he could make a quick solo trip. The car Jung Yohan drove soon arrived at the apartment.
Just past midnight, in the silent space, a familiar voice reached his ears.
“I told you, sleep here for a night.”
It was clearly Lee Donghee’s voice. Jung Yohan walked quietly toward the source of the sound.
Lee Donghee was not alone. A middle-aged woman stood before him. They held hands tightly, whispering words of love to each other.
‘Ah, so he has a girlfriend.’
There was no trace of sadness on Lee Donghee, who smiled at his lover.
He looked happy, as if he had only pretended to be melancholy in front of Lee Hyunseok.
Jung Yohan smiled bitterly, almost mocking, and called out.
“Sir.”
Lee Donghee was stunned by the sudden appearance.
He quickly sent the woman away and muttered an excuse.
“Yohan… This… this is a secret from Hyunseok. If he knew I had a girlfriend, he’d feel so betrayed… He wouldn’t treat me the way he does now.”
“…”
“But I’m human too. I still have many days ahead; it’s natural to want a new love. So, Yohan-ah, you understand me, right?”
Jung Yohan didn’t reply, only smiled. Lee Donghee seemed to take it as confirmation and smiled along.
But he did not support Lee Donghee.
Among the Given members, Jung Yohan knew Lee Hyunseok’s situation best.
He understood why Lee Hyunseok, despite the difficult personalities of the other members, obediently adapted and devoted himself—it was all because of Lee Donghee.
Unaware of anything, Lee Hyunseok was sacrificing himself for Lee Donghee, but Lee Donghee was treating him as if he weren’t his own son.
Lee Donghee valued his own life above all else.
Jung Yohan felt pity for Hyunseok, but that was all.
He had no intention of stepping in to save the manager or meddling in that disgusting family affair.
Lee Hyunseok’s sacrifices were his choice, not someone else’s coercion.
And Jung Yohan had benefited from that choice as well.
If Lee Hyunseok were to turn his back on Lee Donghee now and end the deal they had made, then what would he do about the excitement he had so conveniently been satisfying all this time? Of course, Jung Yohan had no desire to continue being a singer anymore.
As Jung Yohan remained silent, Lee Hyunseok seemed to realize his father’s situation belatedly. That shock apparently drove him to take a day off.
Having cried out his emotions last night, Jung Yohan expected him to show up as if nothing had happened today, as he had for the past three years.
But Lee Hyunseok couldn’t bear it and took a day off.
Jung Yohan could still hear Hyunseok’s voice echoing in his ears, shouting, “You knew too, didn’t you?” filled with betrayal.
Did Lee Hyunseok expect him to intervene in that trivial family drama?
What would that change? Lee Donghee, who was adept at exploiting his son, would never repent.
Even so, Jung Yohan felt a vague frustration.
“Haah…”
His sigh was habitual, but his chest didn’t feel clear.
He wanted to see Lee Hyunseok. Seeing his swollen, tear-stained face might ease some of the tightness in his chest.
Jung Yohan had no doubt that Lee Hyunseok would eventually return.
No matter that he realized his father had betrayed him, he would come back.
Because Lee Hyunseok…
‘He likes me.’
Jung Yohan already knew that Lee Hyunseok liked him.
Like Jung Yohan, the other members also believed Lee Hyunseok would return soon.
But a week, then two, passed, and Lee Hyunseok showed no sign of coming back.
Even when they asked the CEO, the only response was that his vacation was extended due to poor health.
The CEO seemed indifferent to his absence, as Given was in a rest period.
The members, however, grew impatient.
They resented Lee Hyunseok for not contacting them even once over the past two weeks.
I turned off my phone and left Seoul.
I hadn’t decided on a clear destination, but I wanted to go far from Seoul for reasons unrelated to work.
And so, the place I arrived at was a quiet quayside.
The quayside overlooked the sea, but it wasn’t a sandy beach or a tourist spot, so it was nearly deserted.
I checked into the cleanest lodging nearby. My “luggage” was just a few days’ worth of clothes.
Actually, this wasn’t my first time here.
I had come for Given’s photoshoot about a year ago.
Though my stay was short, I felt a special attachment to this place because of the thrill I felt for Jung Yohan here.
Of course, our kissing had started two years ago due to the deal, but that didn’t mean I immediately loved him.
I had only felt an affection for him.
But I realized that this affection was special right here.
“…”
I sat by the large window overlooking the sea, staring blankly outside.
The sun was setting. The sunset dyed not only the blue sea but the clear sky reddish-orange.
A year ago, the sun had set that day, too.
For some reason, Jung Yohan seemed unusually cheerful that day, lingering near me even after the shoot ended.
“Rest. Why are you still doing that?”
I tried to send him back to the lodging, feeling he was a little overwhelming. But Jung Yohan spoke unexpectedly without resting.
“You’re still at the site, hyung. How can I rest alone?”
His words sounded surprisingly tender, and I couldn’t help but stare at him for a long moment.
That day, Jung Yohan was completely bathed in red light. The sunset illuminated him, and he smiled at me.
It felt like my breath stopped.
I was entirely captivated by his intense beauty.
The surrounding noise, people lingering nearby, the warm breeze brushing my cheeks… none of it registered.
It felt as if only Jung Yohan and I existed in the vast space.
Perhaps this was what it felt like to fall for someone at first sight, though not exactly.
Unaware of my state, Jung Yohan came closer. Soon, his hand landed on my face.
He brushed my hair, tangled by the wind, and said, “Hyung, I want to be alone with you now.”
I knew exactly what he meant.
Jung Yohan often felt a sudden, unexplainable excitement not just on stage but even after photoshoots.
Perhaps that day he seemed so cheerful because he was more excited than usual.
I instinctively held his outstretched hand.
He took me to the lodging and kissed me, just like the previous day, until the sunset faded into darkness.
A kiss that had been just a transaction made my heart race violently.
For the first time, I felt sexual desire toward him. I wanted his warm hands to touch my body.
It didn’t matter how he had treated me before. Even if he had looked down on me, it made no difference.
Captivated anew by Jung Yohan’s beauty, I couldn’t erase the thrill I felt for him since that day.
From that moment, our kisses carried meaning.
“That felt really good back then…”
Of course, I still liked him. I hadn’t sorted out my feelings for him.
However, I liked him far more now than back when I had just realized my feelings for Jung Yohan.
Even small touches from him would make me blush and my heart pound.
The surge of emotion felt so overwhelming, it was as if I was choking on my own feelings.
‘I’ll never feel that way again.’
No, perhaps I’ll never like anyone that much again.