MDQ Ch 36

Ever since parting ways with Lee Hyunseok, Jung Yohan had been thinking of him constantly.

Of course, he had often thought of Lee Hyunseok before, but never for this long, never this persistently.

It was all because of what Lee Hyunseok had said.

“Because now that I’ve heard your answer, I think I can finally put my feelings for you to rest.”

That line kept echoing in his head, leaving no room for other thoughts.

He couldn’t believe that Lee Hyunseok was saying he would put aside his feelings for him. It was like claiming the sun would rise in the west.

An utterly impossible statement. A lie that was far too obvious.

Jung Yohan thought that Lee Hyunseok would soon take it back. That he would regret not asking for his help.

But a whole day passed, then another, and still no word came from Lee Hyunseok. When he tried to call first, all he heard was that the phone had been turned off.

Was he really planning to just cut things off so emptily?

It was hard to believe, yet thinking back to when Lee Hyunseok stormed out of the car, his face had shown nothing but exhaustion.

The sight of the Lee Hyunseok who used to sneak glances at him, his face flushing red, was nowhere to be found.

Whether Lee Hyeonseok had gone crazy or not, he don’t know — but was this really the end?

At first, Jung Yohan burned with anger. He resented the man who had thrown everything aside and vanished.

But as time went on, an inexplicable sense of anxiety only grew stronger.

It was as if he desperately wished that Lee Hyunseok wouldn’t give up on him, that he would continue to love him.

That desire seemed connected to the question Lee Hyunseok had once asked him, the one he couldn’t answer.

“All those times we kissed for so long—did you ever, even once, think of me as someone special?”

He hadn’t been able to answer because there had been a flutter in his chest.

If he had answered honestly, it could have been twisted into sounding like he liked Lee Hyunseok.

The truth was, Jung Yohan had simply enjoyed the sight of Lee Hyunseok’s flushed face after their kiss. He had merely felt the faint tremor of his own heart, but that was absolutely not the same as liking him.

There was no way he could like someone of the same gender, and even less a foolish man who let himself be used by a shameless father and a greedy CEO.

If he were to fall in love, he wanted it to be with someone far more refined.

And yet… after only two days of not seeing him, he was already restless.

He even imagined the grim possibility that he might never see Lee Hyunseok again. Sitting still and waiting, he felt as though he would truly lose him.

Without realizing, Jung Yohan found himself wandering near Park Chungrim’s house. But the miracle of running into Lee Hyunseok again by chance never happened.

Even so, he didn’t want to interrogate Park Chungrim. There was no need to bare his tangled emotions to him.

Whether or not Park Chungrim was hiding him, Jung Yohan was determined to track down Lee Hyunseok, who had once again disappeared.

And he could not forgive the CEO and Park Saebit, who had started this mess.

If not for them, he could have proposed another deal to Lee Hyunseok, using the contract renewal as pretext.

A deal that would keep him firmly bound by his side, unable to escape.

Once again, not because he liked him—but because he needed him.

Lee Hyunseok understood his hypersexuality better than anyone else, and he looked at him with eyes full of affection.

There was no one else as sincere toward him as Lee Hyunseok.

‘To think I might lose someone like that because of those bastards.’

The most certain way to stab the CEO in the back for worsening the situation was to refuse the renewal and quit Given altogether.

And if his withdrawal became known, there was a high chance that the hiding Lee Hyunseok would reach out first.

No matter how bitter their parting had been, Lee Hyunseok was not the kind of man to remain silent if he heard of his resignation. He was far too soft-hearted.

If they met again that way, he would make sure Lee Hyunseok could never disappear on his own terms again.

He would hold him down, even by force.

If Lee Hyunseok could bear children, he would have done so to bind him to his side. It was a bitter regret.

Though he had once found the thought of going beyond kisses with a man revolting, his current restlessness made him feel as if he could even take Lee Hyunseok’s thing into his mouth.

Perhaps, faced with Lee Hyunseok’s pale body, he might rut like a dog in heat.

But first, he needed to drag Lee Hyunseok back out from the depths he had sunk into.

Jung Yohan had no hesitation about quitting Given. After all, had it not been for Lee Hyunseok, he would have quit long ago.

He decided that the first people he would tell were his members.

Though he hadn’t built much of a bond with them, they had spent a long time working together, and he felt that much courtesy was due.

Once his mind was made up, he went straight to the dorm without hesitation.

“Kang Junhyuk, Seo Seoho. I won’t be renewing my contract. And I’m quitting Given as well.”

The two who were at the dorm looked visibly shocked by his announcement.

“What? Are you saying you’re leaving the group?”

Jung Yohan replied flatly, without a trace of hesitation, “Yeah. That’s what I came back to say.”

“If this is about our manager hyung, then… how about deciding after he comes back? This feels way too hasty.”

Coming from the always-joking Kang Junhyuk, it was a surprisingly reasonable suggestion. But still, Jung Yohan shook his head.

“No, I’ve already decided.”

“Haah.”

“And besides, he’s not coming back on his own. You guys saw the article the company put out. With him branded as an abusive manager, do you think he’d want to stay in this job?”

“But that wasn’t our choice.”

Jung Yohan cast a crooked look at Seo Seoho, who had spoken so calmly.

“Then are you ready to step forward and correct it? If you do, you’ll be going against the company completely, and you’ll get dragged into the scandal too.”

Unlike Jung Yohan, who had no attachment to the company, Kang Junhyuk and Seo Seoho both wanted to renew.

Kang Junhyuk had been promised a solo album and didn’t want to risk moving elsewhere, while Seo Seoho, the least known member, had no other agency to turn to.

“So what about you? Are you saying you’ll step up to correct it?”

“Not right now. But if manager hyung comes back to me, then I’m willing to do what he wants.”

He couldn’t say outright that he liked Lee Hyunseok, but he could at least testify that he wasn’t an abusive manager.

Of course, that depended on the condition that Lee Hyunseok would return to him.

“…”

“I won’t drag you guys into this. The ones who should take responsibility for publishing that article without our consent are Park Saebit and the CEO.”

“Yohan, are you in contact with Saebit?”

Jung Yohan shook his head.

“No, I haven’t, so I don’t know anything either.”

“And you’re not planning to contact him?”

“Yeah. If things turn against him, he’ll reach out on his own.”

“…”

“Anyway, no matter what you say, I’m not going back on my decision.”

“Jung Yohan…”

“I’ll get in touch again once things settle down. Thanks for everything until now.”

Though Kang Junhyuk and Seo Seoho called after him, Jung Yohan left the dorm just like that.

His farewell to the teammates he had spent years with was short and simple.

He had no lingering regrets about them.

Or perhaps, deep down, he had always expected the group to disband one day. And yet, the reason he had continued this long was…

“…”

The image of Lee Hyunseok surfaced in his mind.

Because Lee Hyunseok had been his manager for three years, because that man had always watched over him at his side—perhaps that was why the team had been able to keep going until now.

The emptiness of Lee Hyunseok’s absence hit him harder than ever.

Where was he now, and what was he doing?

After leaving the dorm and getting into his car, Jung Yohan headed to an apartment.

He walked with practiced ease as if familiar with the place. Soon, the doorbell rang, and a familiar figure opened the door.

“Yohan?”

It was none other than Lee Hyunseok’s father, Lee Donghee.

Unlike his usual self, Jung Yohan only looked down at him with a hard expression. Whenever he had come with Lee Hyunseok, he had always worn a smile, but now there was not a trace of it on his face.

“What brings you here? Well, come inside anyway.”

Lee Donghee’s nervousness was plain at the sight of that grim face. Jung Yohan ignored it and stepped inside.

The living room was as always, crammed with his merchandise and posters, which he could never get used to.

Though this was the house of Lee Hyunseok’s father, not a single photo or belonging of Lee Hyunseok could be seen. It was such a strange house.

When Jung Yohan sat on the sofa, Lee Donghee fidgeted and paced nearby. At last, with visible reluctance, he opened his mouth.

“Yohan… did you come because of Hyunseok?”

At that moment, Jung Yohan realized at once.

‘This man already knows what happened to him.’