MDQ Ch 50
by LuluThe inside was much larger than I had expected. And there were quite a few familiar things that caught my eye.
“So this was your studio.”
Various machines I had seen in Park Chungrim’s studio filled the room. There was even a recording booth… It was hardly lacking compared to Park Chungrim’s studio.
“Yeah, I work here.”
He probably didn’t want me to come upstairs, fearing I might disturb his work.
“Wasn’t it that you didn’t want me coming upstairs because you didn’t want others to see? Are you really okay with showing this place to someone else?”
“Why would you be someone else?”
Kang Kimoon, standing beside me, tilted his head slightly toward me. He tapped my cheek with his index finger and smiled softly.
“I saved your life. At least you’re not a stranger to me.”
Kang Kimoon’s playful smile deepened.
I mischievously replied, as if I had forgotten I had just had a nightmare, “Are you saying I have to repay my life debt?”
“If I say repay, will you? It might be expensive…”
“If that’s what you want.”
“You’ll have to get healthier faster if you want to work hard from now on, Hyunseok.”
He probably meant I needed to be healthy enough to avoid nightmares.
But I wondered if Kang Kimoon realized how much better I already felt in such a short time.
By revealing even the second-floor studio, where he usually forbade visitors, he was trying to lift my spirits. His consideration worked perfectly.
“While we’re at it, do you want to try working?”
I was a little surprised by Kang Kimoon’s sudden offer.
“Me…?”
“Who else is here but you?”
“…”
“I’m not asking you to compose right now. If you have lyrics written down, I can take a look.”
I had quite a few written lyrics stored in a notepad—drafts that had never seen the light of day.
Lyrics I thought might someday become Given’s songs. Not anymore, though…
If you asked whether I felt regret, I didn’t.
What I had lingering regret over were things like the lyricist name “118,” which marked my brother’s death anniversary, and my tarnished reputation. In short, reasons largely unrelated to Given.
I couldn’t respond to Kang Kimoon’s offer immediately and fell into thought.
If it weren’t for the plagiarism incident, I would have shown my lyrics to Kang Kimoon, someone I had admired. Whether he criticized or praised them, I would have listened carefully.
But I still didn’t have complete trust regarding the plagiarism incident.
Kang Kimoon had said he wasn’t disappointed in me even after knowing about it…
As if reading my hesitant state, he added one line.
“Tell me if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t mind. But…”
“You don’t have to worry about the plagiarism incident. If you’re innocent, I’d rather you show me your lyrics.”
How did he always seem to see right through me?
Hearing him say I should prove my innocence, I eventually took out my phone. Kang Kimoon seemed to have a way of making me make decisions when I hesitated.
“I’ll show you.”
We sat on the sofa in the studio. Kang Kimoon started reading the lyrics I had backed up, and I stared quietly at his profile.
His handsome face seemed unusually serious. It didn’t seem like he was joking when he said he’d look at my work.
A few minutes of impatiently waiting for his lips to move, and finally, Kang Kimoon spoke, “Hyunseok, your lyrics are gloomy.”
“…”
It wasn’t outright harsh criticism, but it wasn’t praise either.
“I understand why Given is called an emotional idol.”
I nodded slightly.
I knew better than anyone that most of my lyrics were gloomy.
They mostly dealt with losing someone precious or failing at unrequited love.
The reason was simple: I started writing lyrics to escape the frustrating reality.
I poured the resentment I experienced in real life into my lyrics.
Lyrics about failed unrequited love were written thinking about Jung Yohan.
Thinking of him, who would never accept my feelings, helped me portray the heartbroken narrator who had lost faith in love.
In other words, my lyrics were my ideal.
I didn’t have the talent to depict things I hadn’t experienced.
In a way, it was the limit of my talent and the reason I could never become Kang Kimoon. Kang Kimoon wrote lyrics based on a variety of subjects.
Even knowing the talent gap between us, sometimes I envied the talent he had.
But the Kang Kimoon I admired said something different from what I expected.
“But you definitely have talent. Gloomy, but beautiful lyrics. Not many people can write like this.”
“I have talent?”
“Hyunseok, are you asking that without knowing how many hits you already have? From where I stand, you’re already a successful person.”
“Thank you.”
For some reason, his words gave me a surge of confidence.
“But don’t you have any bright lyrics? I’d like to see them.”
“No. I usually write based on my experiences, but now that I think about it, there haven’t been many days I felt joy since I started writing lyrics.”
“…”
“Now I’m not even sure what happiness is.”
“…”
“I guess happiness isn’t allowed for me.”
I thought I had been happy when I was with my brother…
But that was a past too distant to return to.
“Want to try? Something exciting and happy.”
“Huh?”
“I think I could help you.”
“How…?”
“Well, first, do you want to watch me work today? You said you’re my fan. Wouldn’t it feel a bit better seeing someone you like at work?”
Seeing someone I admired doing what I loved up close—it made me think I might feel happy.
Since I had no reason to refuse such a welcome offer, I nodded without hesitation.
When immersed in work, you don’t notice your surroundings. Kang Kimoon only removed his headset after finishing his session.
Looking back, he noticed Lee Hyunseok had fallen asleep without me realizing it.
He was breathing evenly, as if he’d never had a nightmare. Seeing the calm look on his sleeping face, it seemed he wasn’t tormented by bad dreams this time. That was a relief.
Kang Kimoon quietly approached and covered him with a blanket.
Sitting on the sofa, he feared waking Lee Hyunseok, so Kang Kimoon sat right there, staring at his face.
It was a perfectly clean, unblemished face. Perhaps an honest face that had always walked the right path.
Whatever he was thinking showed plainly on that honest face, making it seem impossible for him to live wickedly.
Perhaps that’s why, when Lee Hyunseok had said his name as “Lee Hyunwoo” with a fearful expression and faintly trembling voice, Kang Kimoon realized he was someone who couldn’t lie well.
He didn’t resent him for lying about his name, as he had told Lee Hyunseok before.
Rather, Kang Kimoon was just glad to meet Lee Hyunseok, the one Lee Hyunwoo had bragged about endlessly.
After Hyunwoo died, Kang Kimoon had even thought several times about checking on Lee Hyunseok, who was left alone…
“My younger brother is so kind, I worry about how he’ll survive in the world. Even now, he worries over a single casual remark from our father.”
Maybe because Hyunwoo’s words stuck in his head, Kang Kimoon occasionally worried about the now-lone Hyunseok.
Perhaps even more so because Lee Hyunwoo had not spoken of his parents as entirely good people.
So he had considered meeting Lee Hyunseok several times.
But in the meantime, Kang Kimoon had become famous as a lyricist and composer, and his work increased. It was because the song he wrote in memory of Hyunwoo had become a huge hit.
Everyone sought him out and cheered for the song he wrote. Kang Kimoon, intoxicated by consecutive successes, temporarily forgot about Lee Hyunseok.
A few years later, one day, a song on the radio he often listened to captured his heart.
It was Given’s title track. He especially liked the lyrics and even looked up who the lyricist was.
“118.” The moment he saw it, Hyunwoo’s death anniversary came to mind.
Kang Kimoon went further and found out the lyricist’s real name.
The Given agency tried to keep the identity secret, but for Kang Kimoon, who already had a wide network from his success, it wasn’t difficult.
The real name of the lyricist was even more astonishing than the pen name.
Lee Hyunseok. The same as Lee Hyunwoo’s younger brother.
Kang Kimoon instinctively realized that this was no coincidence.
He sensed that Hyunwoo’s brother was active under a lyricist name marking his brother’s death anniversary.
From then on, Kang Kimoon began observing Lee Hyunseok’s every move.