MDQ Ch 6

I could no longer look at Jung Yohan. If I didn’t do as he wanted, he might treat my father coldly.

After that, at the dining table, only my father and Jung Yohan occasionally exchanged words.

I set down my chopsticks, having barely eaten half of my meal. Maybe it was the aftereffect of vomiting earlier; I had no appetite. My stomach still felt queasy.

By the time dinner ended, the thirty minutes I had promised Jung Yohan had slightly passed.

“Our Yohan’s time to leave has come. What should I do? I think I’ll miss you so much.”

My father regretted the brief encounter with Jung Yohan.

“I’ll miss it too. If I weren’t so busy, I’d visit more often…”

You hardly have any schedules now, you know?

Today was the last day of this album’s promotions. After this, he had a break, so not many other schedules were planned.

But I stayed silent, not correcting Jung Yohan.

“No, it’s fine, really. I’m honored you met me secretly like this!”

“Yes, sir.”

Only then did my father speak to me directly for the first time.

“Hyunseok, are you going to take Yohan home?”

I shook my head.

“I was going to, but I feel too unwell. I can’t drive and vomit, so someone else will pick him up.”

“Someone else?”

“Yes, Yohan. Sorry, but go back with Chulmin. I really feel sick.”

I could see the smile mask on Jung Yohan’s face slowly hardening.

He seemed displeased at the fact he would be going back with Chulmin instead. In truth, I’d never seen him feel comfortable with a manager other than me.

“Sorry. I really feel like I’m going to vomit. I’ll arrive at the dorm early tomorrow.”

“You’re even staying out overnight?”

“I’ll tell the other members about it.”

Of course, whether they would be disappointed by my absence was uncertain. They might even feel relieved that someone to bother was gone rather than miss me.

“Hyung, you’re not planning to go somewhere else, right?”

“No. I’ll rest here.”

Jung Yohan let out a long, incomprehensible sigh.

But perhaps unable to speak harshly even in front of my father, he answered in a slightly softened tone, “Understood.”

I repeatedly apologized to him and took him to where Chulmin, whom I had contacted in advance, was waiting.

The moment Chulmin saw me, he grabbed my arm to create some distance from Jung Yohan. Then, whispering so Jung Yohan wouldn’t hear, he said, “Chief, don’t even mention it. You have no idea how much the members scolded me again.”

“What did they do?”

“First, they checked if my phone was off, then made me take off my top to show there were no other phones or recorders.”

“…”

“Of course I wasn’t carrying any of that. After everything was checked, we started driving, but then they asked me to play a song—and if it wasn’t the right one, they’d want to stop midway to buy coffee. At this rate, I feel like I’m going to turn gray.”

Can’t a single day go by peacefully?

Still, I was grateful to Chulmin for taking the members back to the dorm on my behalf.

“Sorry. But Yohan is rather taciturn, so it should be fine. Please, just help me with this one last favor. I really feel sick.”

Chulmin sighed but reluctantly nodded.

“You don’t look well at all, Chief. Why not take a long vacation now? Given’s activities just ended anyway.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

I ended the conversation by patting Chulmin on the shoulder.

I couldn’t make Jung Yohan, who had been radiating his sensitive aura without saying a word, wait any longer.

After sending Chulmin and Jung Yohan off, the nausea I had been holding back finally surged. I rushed upstairs and vomited everything.

The face reflected in the mirror was haggard. I seemed to have lost more weight than when I first started as a manager.

When meeting old acquaintances, people used to tell me that I looked more worn out… it wasn’t an overreaction.

After rinsing my mouth and leaving the bathroom, I saw my father organizing Jung Yohan’s merchandise displayed in the living room.

“Father, do you like Yohan that much?”

My father’s reply was immediate, “Yes! I like him the most in the world. How wonderful it would be if he were my son.”

“…”

My father didn’t seem to care that I had just vomited heavily…

I felt a bit disappointed but accepted it.

I had never been my father’s priority, neither when my brother was alive nor after his death.

Unlike my brother, my father didn’t like me much because I was ordinary with no outstanding qualities. My brother was so excellent that my mediocrity only disappointed him more.

To my father, I was merely a medium to meet Jung Yohan, who had a similar aura to my brother.

At that moment, I had a strange premonition that my father wouldn’t grieve over my death. He might only feel sorrow that, with my absence, his connection to Jung Yohan would disappear.

They say when the body is sick, the heart weakens… I unknowingly asked such a question.

“Father, what would you think if I quit being Given’s manager?”

Of course, it wasn’t like I had another job I wanted to do.

But today, exhaustion wouldn’t leave me.

Having to smile at the members’ sharp words, to adjust to their moods, and feeling strangely stirred by prickly Jung Yohan…

If I quit being a manager, wouldn’t all the things that wore me down disappear?

Perhaps even the excited feelings I had for Jung Yohan would vanish like a midsummer night’s dream.

But my father gave an answer contrary to my hope.

“Then how will I meet Yohan? Would you feel at ease if I lived like a wreck? I live just for the days I meet Yohan.”

“Really? Even if I’m really struggling?”

“You’re complaining too much. You should be grateful that, despite your mediocre education and lack of talent, such a big company willingly hired you and pays you well, shouldn’t you?”

“…”

“Instead of whining, think about how you can last longer as a manager.”

“…”

“And I couldn’t say it in front of Yohan earlier, but if Yohan came all the way here, shouldn’t you take him home yourself? As a chief, you should take responsibility.”

My father clicked his tongue and finished organizing Jung Yohan’s merchandise.

I entered my room in silence to avoid further argument. I was certain my father would neither take my side nor understand me.

The room that used to be my room before I became a manager felt empty. It was because my father had cleared all my belongings.

While cherishing Given’s merchandise, my father had disposed of the things from my room without asking me, which left me feeling surprisingly resentful.

What am I to my father?

Should I burn myself out working as a manager for a father who thinks little of me?

For some reason, my eyes stung. I suddenly missed my brother, the only one who had ever been kind to me. If he were still alive…

Standing foolishly in the dark room, my phone vibrated incessantly..

I was too nauseous even to check the messages, so I stayed still.

But the vibrations wouldn’t stop, as if insisting I check the message.

Reluctantly, I saw that the sender was Park Saebit.

– Hyung, I wrote lyrics, please check them.

– Hyung????? Why aren’t you checking my texts??

– Check it nowㅠㅠㅠ Hurryㅠㅠㅠ Should I call???

It hadn’t even been five minutes since the message was sent. I sighed and opened the file Park Saebit had sent via messenger.

Recently, deeply immersed in composing and lyric-writing, Park Saebit often sent me the files he wrote regardless of the time.

It was because I was the one who had written lyrics for Given’s hit songs.

Of course, not under my name, so it wasn’t widely known that I wrote their songs.

I didn’t intend to boast. I considered the hits a matter of luck.

I might do well now, but inspiration could falter anytime. I was content just receiving royalties.

But Park Saebit, knowing I had a talent for lyrics, always sought my confirmation. Today was no exception.

The lyrics he sent seemed familiar. I immediately recognized them as reminiscent of a song from a group with a considerable fanbase.

Since it happened to be by a lyricist I liked, I could identify it immediately.

Park Saebit often sent lyrics inspired by other songs like today.

‘What if one day someone accuses him of plagiarism…’

Was he confident or just reckless?

Even while thinking of quitting as their manager, I spoke considerately to Park Saebit.

– Saebit-ah, the lyrics are great… but using another song as a reference feels too much. How about trying something more original?

Immediately came the reply:

– What do you know to say that? Plagiarism, you say? Watch your words. I wouldn’t do that.

If you’re that annoyed, why not just not ask for my confirmation? I’m not an expert, anyway.

“Haah…”

I turned off my phone without replying. Despite vomiting everything, my stomach still churned.