NASAY CH 42

The students all knew Huo Xingzhou, and they’d heard plenty of stories about how ruthless he could be in fights. Seeing him like this, they swallowed their words and quickly walked away, heads down.

The last student to leave even thoughtfully closed the door behind him.

Luo Xing’s hand was still held tightly in Huo Xingzhou’s grip. He couldn’t hear what Huo Xingzhou said to those students, but judging from their terrified expressions, he could tell how scary Huo Xingzhou must have been with his back turned toward him.

“Huo Xingzhou…”
Luo Xing hesitated, softly calling his name.

Huo Xingzhou turned around, his fingers gripping Luo Xing’s wrist tightly. His eyes were dark and frightening in his anger, scaring Luo Xing so much that his lips moved, but no words came out.

Huo Xingzhou finally let go of his hand, walked to the door without a word, and locked it from the inside.

Luo Xing instinctively took a step back, watching as Huo Xingzhou walked back toward him. His whole body seemed to radiate suppressed fury and aggression.

“I want… to go back to class.”
Luo Xing bit his lip and tried to walk away, but Huo Xingzhou grabbed his wrist and pressed him hard against the door, his back hitting it with a thud.

“Huo Xingzhou, stop it…”
Luo Xing struggled twice, trying to pull his wrist free. His wrist, still held in Huo Xingzhou’s grip, felt like it was about to break. The pain in his body wasn’t the scariest part—it was the look in Huo Xingzhou’s eyes that terrified him.

Huo Xingzhou looked like he had completely lost control, desperate to vent his rage.

“The principal called you to talk about transferring schools, didn’t he?”
Huo Xingzhou couldn’t help but loosen his grip, holding Luo Xing’s wrist and gently rubbing it, noticing how red it had become from his grasp.

Luo Xing nodded.

“Your mom wants you to transfer?”
Huo Xingzhou tried his best to keep his patience. He was afraid of pushing Luo Xing too far, especially after seeing the almost broken look on his face earlier.

As soon as Luo Xing heard the word mom, his eyes flickered, and he frantically tried to escape from Huo Xingzhou’s arms. He backed against the water tank, shaking his head violently.
“No… it’s me… I don’t want to stay at No 2 High school anymore. I want to go to No 1 High school.”

Huo Xingzhou frowned. Seeing how strongly Luo Xing was resisting only fueled his anger.

Bullshit.

“Luo Xing,”
Huo Xingzhou walked over, grabbed the back of Luo Xing’s neck, and forced him to look up.

“Look at me.”

Luo Xing timidly lifted his head, his eyes meeting Huo Xingzhou’s gaze. His expression, which had been full of rage, gradually softened, becoming almost unbearably tender. His voice was gentle but firm: “Tell me—what did your mom say to you?”

“She didn’t say anything. Nothing at all.”
Luo Xing shook his head, suppressing the bitterness in his chest. How could he possibly tell Huo Xingzhou what she had said?

That he was like a filthy, shameless prostitute, selfishly dragging both of them into ruin.

That someone as dirty and worthless as him had no right to reach for the sun.

Or that liking men was wrong, that it would destroy his life.

Huo Xingzhou stared at Luo Xing’s expression, seeing the pain and avoidance in his eyes. His eyes had turned red, and it looked like he could cry at any moment. His body trembled uncontrollably.

Self-loathing and rejection filled his face. Huo Xingzhou knew immediately—this rejection wasn’t directed at others but at himself.

Zhao Jiulan had likely sent him more of her poisonous words, calling him lowly and saying his very existence was a sin.

He had worked so hard to heal Luo Xing, treating him with care and making him believe, even just a little, that he wasn’t to blame for everything that had happened. Just when his perception had started to shift back on track, she had come back with her twisted ideas to drag him down again.

“Little Darling,”
Huo Xingzhou whispered softly, one hand holding the back of Luo Xing’s neck, the other gripping his waist, pulling him close. He spoke slowly and deliberately, almost word by word: “Do you remember what I said? You’re the most unique and wonderful little darling in this entire world.”

Luo Xing hesitated for a while, biting his lip before shaking his head.
“I’m not… I’m bad… I…”

“That’s bullshit!”

“It’s true! You don’t know anything! I…”
Luo Xing struggled frantically, accusing himself incoherently.
“I was selfish for coming to No 2 High school…”

Huo Xingzhou raised an eyebrow, then yanked him toward himself and pressed his lips down hard.

Luo Xing’s eyes flew wide open, his mind instantly going blank. He stared at Huo Xingzhou’s face, which was filled with indescribable anger and impatience.

Huo Xingzhou kissed him fiercely, prying open his teeth with his tongue in a forceful and aggressive invasion. His tongue hooked onto Luo Xing’s, not allowing him to retreat.

“Is anyone there?”

“Damn it! Who’s inside?”

“Hey, open the door! What are you doing in there? Are you letting us drink water or not?”

Huo Xingzhou ignored the shouting from outside the door. Instead, he tightened his grip on Luo Xing’s waist, pressing him closer, deepening the kiss with reckless abandon.

His lips were burning hot, filled with biting passion. One hand firmly held the back of Luo Xing’s neck, forcing him into the kiss, pushing deeper and deeper like a powerful wave that threatened to drown him.

Luo Xing had never experienced a kiss like this before. The previous kisses were nothing more than light brushes compared to this overwhelming invasion.

He was so scared that he stood frozen, allowing Huo Xingzhou to kiss him until he was nearly suffocating. Only then did he react, pushing him away with all his strength and coughing violently.

“Little Darling.”
Huo Xingzhou wrapped an arm around Luo Xing’s waist, helping him catch his breath. He gently wiped a trace of saliva from the corner of Luo Xing’s mouth.

“If I ever hear you say something like that again,”
Huo Xingzhou said softly, his eyes dark and serious,
“Every time you say it, I’ll kiss you like this again. Got it?”

Luo Xing gasped for air, his face flushed bright red—whether from lack of oxygen or the kiss, he wasn’t sure.

His mind was a complete mess. The kiss had drained all of his thoughts and clarity, leaving him feeling like he was sinking into quicksand, with nothing to hold onto.

He tried to move, but the more he struggled, the deeper he sank.

“Say you heard me.”
Huo Xingzhou raised his hand, lightly tapping the corner of Luo Xing’s lips, coaxing him gently.
“Be good.”

Luo Xing stared at him in a daze and, without thinking, nodded slightly.

“Good boy.”

Luo Xing held his breath nervously, watching him in fear that he would kiss him again.
“You can’t kiss me, Huo Xingzhou! Don’t—”

Huo Xingzhou leaned down and gently kissed his eyelids, his voice soft and almost fragile.
“I like you.”

It was as if someone had poured plaster over Luo Xing, freezing him into a statue. His body and mind were paralyzed, completely stunned.

What did Huo Xingzhou just say? Did he say… like?

Luo Xing’s mind went blank, the same way it had when a thick textbook had fallen on his head years ago—just a loud buzzing sound followed by lingering pain and silence.

He moved his lips, doubting what he had just heard.

Was it a dream he had dreamt a thousand times? An illusion? He rubbed his eyes hard. “What did you say?”

Huo Xingzhou cupped Luo Xing’s face, pulling him into his embrace. He repeated it again and again: “I said, I like you. I want to pursue you, to spoil you and take care of you. I know I’m still a student and can’t promise you much, but I can promise you my life and my whole self.”

“I want to kiss you every day, sleep with you in my arms, and cook for you. I won’t argue with you, and I won’t do anything you dislike.”

“And in the future, whatever university you want to apply to, I’ll support you.”

“I know you might feel this is too sudden and can’t accept it right away. You can take some time to think about whether you want to be with me. I promise I’ll never be unfaithful or even glance at anyone else.”

“In the future, we’ll have our own home. You’ll sit by the window reading to me in French, or curl up in my arms while playing games. The sunlight will pour through the floor-to-ceiling windows, year after year.”

“When we grow old, we’ll still exercise together every morning. If you can’t walk, I’ll carry you, making everyone around us envious. How about that?”

A thin layer of mist instantly covered Luo Xing’s eyes, blurring his vision until he could only make out Huo Xingzhou’s silhouette. His ears seemed to go completely silent; he couldn’t hear or see anything else.

He curled into Huo Xingzhou’s embrace like a soulless statue. His consciousness felt forcibly ripped away, then shredded into countless pieces by those impossibly gentle words, turning into snowflakes that fell onto his body and chilled him to the bone.

Everything Huo Xingzhou described sounded so beautiful. The moment Luo Xing closed his eyes, he could almost see that dreamlike scene. But inside him, joy and fear clashed violently, like two voices arguing endlessly in his mind.

He couldn’t make out what they were saying, only that the noise made his head ache, his body tremble uncontrollably. His lips parted, but no words came out.

Luo Xing took a deep breath, but tears welled up even more, blurring his vision until even Huo Xingzhou’s outline became indistinct. He wanted to rub his eyes, to wipe away the tears, but his arms felt as heavy as lead, too heavy to lift.

“I want to treat you well for the rest of my life.”
Huo Xingzhou paused, remembering there was someone else in Luo Xing’s heart.
“I’ll be even better to you than the person you like. If you can’t accept it right now, that’s fine. Just think it over. But be good—don’t let those words influence you to transfer schools, alright?”

— I want to treat you well for the rest of my life.

Luo Xing could barely hold himself together. He clenched his teeth to stop the tears from falling, holding them back with all his strength. Huo Xingzhou’s breath was so close, and his voice was impossibly tender.

Those words felt like a giant hand squeezing Luo Xing’s heart, making it ache and swell with emotion. At the same time, it felt like a warm embrace, shielding him from the wind and rain, from loneliness and aimlessness.

— We’ll have our own home. I want to treat you well for the rest of my life.

He had memorized that name—Huo Xingzhou—since the very first time they met, and he never forgot it. Not for a second in the past ten years.

When he was a child, he spent countless days and nights alone in a dark little room.

One day, sunlight broke in. A boy slightly taller than him leaned over the wall and asked,
“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Why aren’t you talking? Are you mute?”

“Here, have some candy.”

The boy handed him a piece of candy. Little Luo Xing, curled up into a ball, stared at it for a long time before timidly taking it. The boy smiled at him.

“My name is Huo Xingzhou. Don’t forget it.”

Little Luo Xing nodded.

He never forgot. Ten years later, he still remembered Huo Xingzhou’s name and the setting sun behind him when he handed him that piece of candy.

The darkness that had once terrified him was suddenly transformed into the most radiant sunset, scattering the shadows and catching the dust in the air.

Back then, his hearing was still good, and he could hear Huo Xingzhou’s voice clearly. Unlike the soft, childish voices of others, his voice already carried a trace of youthful arrogance and recklessness.

Luo Xing bit his lip, refusing to speak. Huo Xingzhou hesitated, wondering if his impulsive confession had been too reckless. But if he didn’t say it now, Luo Xing would really leave.

How could he be at ease if Luo Xing left him?

“Little Darling,”
Huo Xingzhou lowered his gaze, pressing his forehead gently against Luo Xing’s, his voice soft and coaxing.
“Will you be mine?”

Luo Xing tried his best to suppress the urge to nod. For countless nights, he had dreamed of hearing this very sentence. Now, the sunlight not only shone on him but rested in the palm of his hand, allowing him to hold onto it however he wished.

He lifted his head and looked into Huo Xingzhou’s eyes, hearing his slightly hoarse voice as he waited patiently for his answer.

To agree. To nod.

Zhao Jiulan said he was abnormal.

He didn’t know if liking a man was truly abnormal. He had always thought it was just liking someone and wanting to be with them, without hurting anyone.

But…

But Zhao Jiulan was right. Huo Xingzhou’s life was perfect. Luo Xing couldn’t selfishly ruin that. He couldn’t drag him down.

There were also Huo’s parents—his dad was such a good man, and his mom was beautiful and graceful. He couldn’t let them suffer ridicule because of him.

Huo Xingzhou should continue being the carefree and confident person he had always been, standing in the spotlight, wild and uninhibited.

If he was lucky enough to dream about him, in those dreams, Huo Xingzhou was both domineering and gentle, eating and washing dishes with him, doing homework and playing games together…

The more Luo Xing thought about it, the more miserable he felt. His heart twisted painfully.

If he dragged Huo Xingzhou into the same darkness he lived in, turned his bright life into something grim and dirty, and caused his parents to be shamed and pointed at, how could he ever face him again? How could he face Uncle Huo, who was always so kind?

Luo Xing shook his head forcefully, his eyes growing wetter with every wipe, hot tears falling one by one and burning onto Huo Xingzhou’s heart like flames.

“I don’t want to,”
Luo Xing said, raising his tear-filled eyes to meet Huo Xingzhou’s, whose gaze instantly darkened. Slowly and clearly, Luo Xing added,
“I don’t want you.”

He liked Huo Xingzhou so much.

For him, he would do anything. Even endure the scorn of others. Because Huo Xingzhou was the purest part of his dirty life, a piece of his heart untouched by anything else.

Huo Xingzhou frowned, his voice instantly turning cold. The warmth in the air froze into frost. After a pause, he smiled again and gently ruffled Luo Xing’s hair. His voice was a little hoarse.
“It’s okay. Take your time to think it over. After all, who wins their future wife on the first try?”

“I’ve thought it over.”
Luo Xing clenched his fists so tightly that his nails dug into his palm. Tears welled up again, but he bit his lip hard to hold them back.

“When I say no, I mean no. Why do you always like me? Why do you—”

His voice stopped abruptly.
Huo Xingzhou raised his hand and pulled him into his arms, patting his back gently twice. With a helpless smile, he said softly,
“Alright, alright. No means no. Don’t cry.”

Huo Xingzhou sighed and whispered in a voice Luo Xing couldn’t hear,
“My little troublemaker.”

After Luo Xing rejected Huo Xingzhou’s confession, Huo Xingzhou didn’t attend class again. Luo Xing bit his lip unconsciously, glancing at the empty seat beside him.

For the past few months, Huo Xingzhou had always sat next to him, teasing him until his face turned red and forcing him to call him “Brother Xingzhou” before letting him off.

Sometimes, when Luo Xing spent too long playing games, Huo Xingzhou would gently remind him to finish his assignments, only to demand rewards in return.

He had taken countless “rewards” from Luo Xing but also given him countless gestures of care—bringing him milk and candy, peeling a box of nuts by hand, braving the snow to deliver cake, and spending a freezing night with him in that little house.

He had even taken a slap from Zhao Jiulan for him.

Thinking of this, Luo Xing’s pen slipped, poking a hole in his exercise book.

His heart was full of Huo Xingzhou.Lowering his eyes, Luo Xing felt so overwhelmed that he couldn’t continue writing.He buried his head in his arms.

If only this world were as tolerant as the girls on Weibo, who treated same-sex relationships with acceptance and equality.

No discrimination, no strange looks.

How wonderful that would be.

“Xingzhou?”
Principal Chen pushed open the door to his office and saw someone sitting at his desk with crossed legs, lazily twirling a pen.

Huo Xingzhou heard the voice, put the pen back into the holder, and stood up properly.
“Uncle.”

“Sit down.”
Principal Chen smiled at his nephew.
“Isn’t it class time? Why are you here? Skipping class again?”

Huo Xingzhou crossed his hands on the desk, looking at Principal Chen seriously.
“You have a teacher here named Zhao Jiulan, right?”

Principal Chen nodded.
“Yes. Why?”

“Not exactly.”
Huo Xingzhou thought for a moment and said tactfully,
“Her son is my desk mate. He’s a bit introverted. Recently, Ms. Zhao said she wants to transfer him to your school, but he’s too shy to say it himself. So, I’m here to ask on his behalf.”

“Transfer to our school?”
Principal Chen chuckled.

“What’s his name? I’ll approve it for you.”

“No. He doesn’t want to come. He thinks that transferring schools in the final year will affect his studies, but he also doesn’t want to go against his mom’s wishes. So he asked me to come and see if you could reject the transfer request.”

“What do you mean?”

Huo Xingzhou changed the subject and said,
“Our school’s education quality is pretty good too. He was specially recruited by our school, and there’s a record of it at the provincial level. If he transfers, how will our principal save face? You won’t have much to say when you meet him in person either, right?”

Principal Chen was silent for a while.

“You’ve got a point. But I’ve never seen you care so much about someone else’s business. Did you wrong him or something?”

Huo Xingzhou lowered his eyes and smiled.
“Something like that.”

Even though the matter was as he said, a transfer couldn’t be decided just based on his words. After some thought, Principal Chen said,
“You should head back for now. I’ll have a talk with Teacher Zhao and give you an answer tonight.”

“Alright.”
Huo Xingzhou stood up and walked a few steps before turning back.
“By the way, which office is Teacher Zhao in?”

“Exit this building, turn right, and go to the fifth floor of Yuxiu Building. The senior class teachers’ office is there,”
Principal Chen said, glancing at his watch.

“It’s about break time now. You have something to discuss with her?”

Huo Xingzhou tilted his head slightly and waved.
“Just a little chat.”

After leaving the building, he strolled leisurely toward Yuxiu Building. The bell had just rung, and students standing in the hallway stared at him. A few girls blushed and backed away shyly.

He was used to being the center of attention, so he kept a straight face as he walked up to the fifth floor.

Senior class office.

He raised his hand and knocked on the door. A young voice answered, “Come in.”

He pushed the door open with one hand but didn’t step inside.

A young female teacher glanced at him, sensing he was unfamiliar, and raised her eyebrows slightly.
“Student, who are you looking for?”

Huo Xingzhou scanned the room and saw Zhao Jiulan watering a plant. She was chatting with a colleague and looked like she was in a great mood.

His eyes narrowed.

Did she really think she had everything under control?

Huo Xingzhou chuckled softly.
“Teacher Zhao.”

Hearing his voice, Zhao Jiulan froze. Her fingers trembled, and the watering can fell to the floor with a loud clatter, spilling water everywhere.

She straightened her back and turned around, her eyes instantly turning cold, with a hint of panic.
“What are you doing here?”

Leaning lazily against the doorframe, completely ignoring her nervousness, Huo Xingzhou smirked mischievously.
“I’ve come to ask you for some advice. Shall we talk here, or find a more private place?”

Panicked, Zhao Jiulan hurriedly picked up the watering can and placed it on the windowsill with trembling hands. Her voice quivered slightly.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I have a class soon. You should leave.”

“Well, since you’re unwilling, we’ll just talk here.”
Huo Xingzhou stepped inside, chuckling softly as he sat boldly on her desk. He picked up a pen, tapped it twice, and looked like a mischievous troublemaker.

“It doesn’t bother me. I wonder if it bothers you.”
His gaze shifted to the young female teacher beside him. Smiling, he looked back at Zhao Jiulan and said,
“You know, I’ve never been one to mince words…”

“Shut up!”
Zhao Jiulan shrieked, her voice sharp enough to make everyone’s eardrums hurt.

“Uh…”
The young female teacher hesitated, glancing at them.

“Teacher Zhao, you two chat. I’ll go discuss the next monthly exam papers with Teacher Ma.”

Zhao Jiulan didn’t respond but sighed in relief.

She knew this brat had no sense of shame. He could say anything and do anything, and if she confronted him head-on, she would be the one to suffer.

“What do you want to say?”
Zhao Jiulan asked stiffly.

Huo Xingzhou tapped his fingers on the desk and smiled.
“I’d like to know what your motives and thoughts were when you sent those messages to Luo Xing.”

Zhao Jiulan’s pupils shrank, and she gritted her teeth.
“He told you?”

Huo Xingzhou hummed softly, neither confirming nor denying.

Zhao Jiulan sneered, holding onto her argument.
“What did I say that was wrong? Homosexuality is abnormal, it’s a sickness! He’s my son. It’s my responsibility to turn him back into a normal child!”

Huo Xingzhou’s brow furrowed. Normal child?

“Not just that, you also told him to stay away from me, remember?”
Huo Xingzhou laughed coldly.
“Thank you so much for your kind concern.”

Zhao Jiulan raised her chin, her expression haughty, as if she’d just thought of something disgusting.
“I was just educating him, telling him not to ruin someone else’s life and family. If he has even a shred of conscience, he wouldn’t be with you. He’d destroy you and your parents.”

Huo Xingzhou’s heart sank.

Every word she said hit him hard, like a hammer pounding his heart, until they finally formed a complete thought—a giant hand twisting his heart to pieces.

No wonder Luo Xing had looked so full of despair and pain that day, crying harder than the person being rejected when he said he didn’t want him anymore.

Of course.

Luo Xing was so kind, he would rather hurt himself than allow even the slightest harm to come to him, let alone his parents.

Zhao Jiulan had taken advantage of Luo Xing’s kindness, knowing that coercion wouldn’t work, so she chose this method to make him give up voluntarily.

It also served to hurt Huo Xingzhou and deepen the misunderstanding between them, ensuring they would never be together again.

A clever plan, indeed.

Unfortunately, the person she was dealing with was named Huo Xingzhou.

“I see.”
Huo Xingzhou chuckled lightly, stood up, and waved.
“Thank you for the explanation, Teacher Zhao. I’ll be going now.”

“What do you mean…”

Zhao Jiulan was taken aback, confused for a couple of seconds.

“I was bluffing.” Huo Xingzhou’s lips curled into a smirk.

“Luo Xing refused to tell me, and I couldn’t bear to lose him, so I had to ask you.”

Humiliated and furious, Zhao Jiulan raised her hand to slap him, but Huo Xingzhou caught her wrist tightly, his grip so firm that she winced and struggled in pain.

“Last time, I let you slap me as repayment for giving birth to Luo Xing. Did you really think I’d let you hit me again?”

Huo Xingzhou’s eyes turned icy as he looked down at her, his gaze cold enough to freeze someone in place.

“I don’t touch you because I don’t want to hurt Luo Xing. Did you really think I was afraid of you?”

“You think having Luo Xing is a shame?” Huo Xingzhou laughed coldly and released her wrist with force.

“Having a mother like you is the real shame for Luo Xing.”

“You’ve done everything possible to make sure no one knows how I feel about him. Coincidentally, I want the same thing.”

Zhao Jiulan’s eyes widened, staring at him.
“Then you…”

“I want to keep it a secret because I don’t want people to know he has a mother who treats him so horribly.”
Huo Xingzhou leaned closer and whispered with a smile, “It’s disgusting.”

As he turned to leave, Zhao Jiulan watched his back, furious. She swept all the test papers off her desk and threw a cup, shattering the freshly watered flower pot on the ground.

A teacher who had just returned stood frozen in shock.

“Teacher Zhao, what… what happened?”

“Nothing.”
Zhao Jiulan clutched her palm tightly, collapsing into her chair. She took a deep breath, exhaling angrily, her expression so unsettling that the female teacher grew worried.

“Did that student threaten you?”
The teacher glanced at the door.

“That student really didn’t seem like a good person. Even though he kept smiling, his expression was ice-cold.”

“We’re teachers. Why should we fear a student?”
She pulled out her phone.

“I’ll call the police. We’ll see how he gets away with this.”

“No need, I’m fine.”
Zhao Jiulan murmured repeatedly,
“I’m fine… I’m fine…”

“You…”
The female teacher reached out to touch Zhao Jiulan’s forehead, but Zhao forcefully pushed her hand away. The teacher quickly grabbed onto the desk, her heart still racing. Just as she was about to speak, she saw Zhao Jiulan break down and storm out.

Zhao Jiulan ran to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and splashed cold water on her face with trembling hands.

What did she do wrong?!
Why was everyone treating her like this? Why did the whole world treat her this way?
Luo Zhiyuan was like this, Luo Xing was like this—they were all like this!

No one truly loved her. Everyone left her. Even her own parents thought she was a disgrace for getting pregnant out of wedlock and being with a man who turned out to be gay, and they kicked her out.

When she was pregnant, struggling to survive, who cared about her? When debt collectors came knocking, who protected her? No one ever truly saw her suffering.

Finally, she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Zhao Jiulan collapsed by the sink, sobbing uncontrollably.

***

For half a month, Huo Xingzhou didn’t show up at school. No one knew where he went.

Feng Jia came to ask several times, and Ye Qiaoqiao did too, but Luo Xing only shook his head.

He didn’t know.
After that day, he didn’t dare contact Huo Xingzhou again, afraid that he’d annoy him and make him stop coming to class altogether.

The principal had called him in for a talk, saying that transferring schools frequently would affect his academic progress, so it wasn’t recommended. Even Principal Chen from No.1 High School had spoken with his mother and also disapproved of a transfer.

So, Luo Xing decided to stay at No.2 High School and focus on studying until graduation.

Feeling relieved, Luo Xing opened the chat history on WeChat and scrolled through his past conversations with Huo Xingzhou again and again, seeing all the times Huo had teased him on purpose. His heart felt a mix of sourness and warmth.

He missed Huo Xingzhou so much, but he didn’t dare message him. He was terrified that if he sent a message, it might show, “You are no longer friends with this user,” and he wouldn’t be able to handle that.

“Hey, Luo Xing.”
Feng Jia, wearing slippers, came out of the bathroom and knocked on his bed frame.
“Weren’t you and Huo Xingzhou close? Why didn’t he tell you where he went?”

Luo Xing shook his head.
“I don’t know.”

“He didn’t get into a fight or something and die, right? Damn, I need to check on him. The country can’t go a day without its king!”
Feng Jia joked without restraint, laughing as he said,
“What if no one’s there to collect his body when something happens?”

Feng Jia said it casually, but it scared Luo Xing. His lips trembled as he said,
“C-can you help me find him?”

“Why don’t you find him yourself?”
Feng Jia lowered his head to play his game, then remembered Luo Xing’s hearing issues and looked up again.
“He’s probably just messing with you, waiting for you to comfort him.”

Luo Xing lowered his eyes. He really didn’t know what to do, but he was worried about Huo Xingzhou. After hesitating for a long time, he bit his lip and finally sent him a message on WeChat.

—Where have you been these past few days? Why didn’t you come to class?

The message was sent. There was no notification saying they weren’t friends anymore, but there was no reply either.

Feng Jia joined a game squad with his uncle and stopped talking. Luo Xing stared at the empty bed across from him, and his heart gradually sank.

Huo Xingzhou didn’t want him anymore.

Luo Xing lay down, wrapped himself tightly in his blanket, and stared blankly at the unresponsive WeChat interface. A single tear rolled down his face as he silently buried himself deeper, choking back his sobs.

In truth, Huo Xingzhou was almost… simple.

He had received a good upbringing, growing up in a happy and stable environment where right was right and wrong was wrong.

Even when he occasionally ventured into morally gray areas, he could tear through the confusion and pull himself out. His parents didn’t raise him with the typical pressure to succeed, instead shaping his character and values through example.

Luo Xing bit down hard on his lip, silently repeating “I’m sorry” over and over in his heart. It was his fault. He shouldn’t have dragged Huo Xingzhou into his life.

If he hadn’t, Huo would still be that carefree, bold person. Luo Xing thought bitterly—he truly was a terrible person, only bringing pain to others.

He hurt Zhao Jiulan, and he hurt Huo Xingzhou.

***

“Luo Xing.”
Ye Qiaoqiao handed out the health check reports one by one. When she reached him, she called his name twice before he responded.

Luo Xing took the report, just about to say thank you, when Ye Qiaoqiao asked,
“Is Huo Xingzhou coming to school today?”

“I don’t know.”
Luo Xing lowered his eyes, looking a bit desolate.

Ye Qiaoqiao glanced at his somewhat pale face—he had lost quite a bit of weight compared to half a month ago. She sighed softly and said,
“I’ll give you his report too. When he comes back, you can accompany him to the physical checkup.”

Luo Xing was just about to say something when someone called Ye Qiaoqiao. She quickly stuffed the report into his hands and left.

Luo Xing looked down at the report, exhaled quietly, and followed the crowd to queue for the checkup.

When it was time for the hearing test, Luo Xing suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Hu Jiawen looked at him in confusion.
“What’s wrong?”

Luo Xing raised his head and said, his throat dry,
“You go first. I… I need to use the bathroom.” He didn’t wait for a reply and walked away.

He sat on a chair in the hospital lobby, staring blankly at the “Hearing Test” section on the report.

If this report were submitted, everyone would know about his hearing loss. After hiding it for so long, the secret he didn’t want anyone to discover would be exposed—raw and undeniable.

After a long time, Luo Xing stood up and walked toward the doctor’s office. The doctor adjusted his glasses, took the report with a kind smile, and said,
“Don’t be nervous. This is just a hearing test.”

Luo Xing closed his eyes briefly and nodded.

The kind-looking doctor began the test, but as it progressed, his smiling expression gradually froze, and by the end, he looked surprised.
“Young man, your hearing…”
The doctor paused, choosing his words carefully.
“This must be acquired later, right? Did your family take you for treatment?”

Luo Xing shook his head.

The doctor sighed, his expression one of regret.
“If you had surgery earlier, there might have been a chance to recover. Even if it couldn’t fully restore your hearing, you’d still be able to communicate normally.”

Luo Xing’s body stiffened, and he asked with difficulty,
“Do you mean… my hearing won’t recover anymore?”

The doctor nodded sympathetically.
“But you haven’t completely lost your hearing yet. If you wear a hearing aid, you’ll still be able to hear. Don’t be afraid.”

Luo Xing was silent for a moment before saying softly,
“Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor sighed again. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed someone standing at the door.
“Classmate, are you here for a checkup? Come in.”
But as soon as he spoke, the person quickly left.

Luo Xing took the report from the doctor and listened as the doctor gave him some advice about his ears and the hearing aid. He lingered for a bit before finally leaving.

As he walked out, he reached for his phone to check the time, and it suddenly vibrated.

He immediately unlocked it with trembling fingers, only to find that it wasn’t a message from WeChat or from Huo Xingzhou—it was a notification from Weibo.

@BuYuanXing: Xingxing, winter break is coming soon. If it’s inconvenient for you to come, can I visit you instead?

Luo Xing looked at the message, feeling exhausted and irritable.

Why was this person so insistent on seeing him? After so many years without meeting, what was the point now? Once someone dies, they’re gone. What difference does it make who they see at the end?

Could he bring them back to life?

Luo Xing’s mind was a mess, but in the end, he couldn’t be completely cold to someone on the brink of death. He replied:
During winter break, I’ll come to see you. Please stay positive and continue your treatment. Live well.

@BuYuanXing: Great! As long as you agree to see me, that’s enough.

@BuYuanXing: Did you tell your mom about this? Make sure you don’t tell her, okay?

Luo Xing pressed his lips together tightly, his mind spinning into chaos. The person’s tone seemed so humble, filled with a desperate plea that was glaringly obvious.

@BuYuanXing: I know you’re a good kid, and I know it was my failure not to reach out to you all these years. But I had no choice—your mom wouldn’t let me see you. I’ve always been watching you from afar. I’ve watched every Competition you’ve ever attended.

@BuYuanXing: Fortunately, your mom raised you well. Even though she hates me, she still loves you dearly. With that, I can die in peace.

@BuYuanXing: I’m sorry. If possible, I’d like to say this to you in person. So… you’ll come to see me, won’t you?

Luo Xing furrowed his brows. At this point, there was no longer any need for doubt—the person on the other side was likely his father.

At first, he wondered who would be so afraid of Zhao Jiulan finding out that they had contacted him, yet still insisted on meeting him. Zhao Jiulan had no friends or relatives. The only person who could have a connection with her and be afraid of her discovering this must be his biological father.

This person said he cared deeply about him, that he had been secretly paying attention to him all these years.
He claimed to have watched every game Luo Xing ever played.
He even said he was glad that Zhao Jiulan had taken good care of him. Now, he could die with peace of mind.

He was lying.

Maybe this person had indeed watched one of his games, but he couldn’t have truly paid attention to him. Anyone who did even a little digging would know that Zhao Jiulan had never shown him any “love” or care.

Even the principal of No 4 High school High School knew that Zhao Jiulan treated him with nothing but coldness, raising him like a lifeless learning machine. Not once—not for a single day—had she ever shown him kindness or warmth.

No, wait.

Luo Xing suddenly recalled something—a single moment. It happened the day he was hospitalized for losing his hearing after being beaten by Zhao Jiulan. That day, a man came to visit.

In his hazy state, he saw Zhao Jiulan speaking to the man. She smiled proudly, yet coldly, then gently fed him a bite of cake.

That day…

Luo Xing had always believed that, on that day, Zhao Jiulan had finally shown him a bit of care. He had even clenched his eyes shut to hold back tears, thinking to himself, Don’t make her worry. Don’t make Mom worry. I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.

He had held on to the memory of that bite of cake for years, believing that Zhao Jiulan had once loved him.

But it was all wrong. He had been wrong all along.

She had only done it to show the man—to act like a loving mother and deliberately provoke him.

Luo Xing sat in the hospital lobby, staring blankly at the string of “sincere” messages from BuYuanXing on his phone. He found it laughable.

Every single one of them…
Not a single person had welcomed his birth.

So why did they bring him into this world?

He didn’t mind enduring the suffering, but he truly couldn’t understand.

Father. Mother.
Such warm, loving titles—and yet so painfully ironic.

If they didn’t want him, why did they have him?

Luo Xing lowered his head into the crook of his arm. But just as he did, someone cupped his face gently.

He lifted his head.

A man stood quietly in front of him. He knelt down and wiped the tears from Luo Xing’s face with his fingertips.

Huo Xingzhou.