PSY Ch 32

Jooyoung had naturally accepted his sexual orientation. He never felt self-hatred, nor did he ever feel the need to rebel against it. Since he rarely talked about it—except with a few people—this was the first time he’d ever heard someone speak to him like this.

“…Don’t talk like that.”

At the firm tone, Dohyun, who had been staring at the torn part of the couch, lifted his head.

“What do you mean, like that?”

“Do you like every girl you see?”

Jooyoung replied as he stood up the pencil holder that had fallen over. The area the man touched was a complete mess, as if a typhoon had blown through.

“You don’t, right?”

“…”

“And saying stuff like I’ve got techniques or whatever—that rubs me the wrong way, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.”

“Wow, you couldn’t even say a word before, but the moment I delete a video, you suddenly grow a backbone, huh?”

Dohyun’s lips curved into a smug smile. Some might say it suited his good looks perfectly—but at least to Jooyoung, it didn’t. Every time Dohyun smiled like that, Jooyoung felt uneasy.

“I was just asking ‘cause I don’t know. That’s all—just curious.”

Dohyun gave a light kick to the piece of wood beneath the metal door, nudging it firmly into place. He even checked the handle to make sure the door wouldn’t swing open. Every movement flowed with casual ease.

Jooyoung clamped his lips shut. Being in a position where he had to helplessly endure Dohyun’s mockery and insults was miserable.

“…”

Jooyoung pretended not to be bothered and continued tidying the desk. Once he set up the calendar and returned the ledger to its original place, the desk looked just as neat as it had before the drunk had made a mess. All that was left now was the toppled plant outside. The floor, marked with shoe prints, was a complete mess of scattered soil.

“What happened to the thing that was here?”

He pointed to the umbrella stand by the door. Since it hadn’t rained, it was, of course, empty. Not knowing what he was looking for, Jooyoung just stared at him.

“The broom. Where is it?”

“Oh.”

Only then did Jooyoung remember that he had moved the broom and dustpan that used to be there to another spot after the rainy season started.

“See.”

“I’ll clean it. Just leave.”

Dohyun ignored him and shook his hand dismissively. Jooyoung reluctantly pulled out the broom and dustpan from where they were tucked inside, hesitating for a moment. To hand them over, he’d have no choice but to step outside the counter.

“I said I’ll clean it.”

“Just bring it here.”

“…”

“Don’t make me say it twice.”

With hesitant steps, Jooyoung walked out and handed him the broom and dustpan. Dohyun picked up the toppled plant and swept the soil into a pile. Then, he repeatedly scooped the dirt into the dustpan and poured it back into the pot. All the while, Jooyoung stood by the wall with an uncomfortable expression. Truthfully, he didn’t want the help. He didn’t want to share the same space with Dohyun for long and silently wished he would just leave already.

“Give me a rag.”

Once only the fine dust that the broom couldn’t sweep remained, Dohyun squatted down and raised a hand. Jooyoung, wondering if there was even a rag in the pawnshop, instead brought him a packet of wet wipes.

Dohyun took the wipes and let out a disbelieving laugh.

“Is this your rag?”

“There is no rag. Just wipe with that.”

Jooyoung spoke as if there were any real difference between a wet wipe and a rag. But Dohyun ignored his outstretched hand and stood up. It seemed he was determined to head behind the counter to look for one himself. Jooyoung hurriedly grabbed him.

“I said it’s fine. Just go.”

“Just go?”

Dohyun echoed his words. Jooyoung knew his voice had come out sharper than intended, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I told you I’ll clean it.”

Their eyes locked. Jooyoung, who had been holding his gaze, slowly let go of Dohyun’s arm and stepped back.

That was when it happened.

“Ah!”

Suddenly, Dohyun grabbed his hand. The forceful movement without consideration for the other person made Jooyoung cry out in surprise.

He brought Jooyoung’s left hand up to his face and turned it this way and that. His gaze settled on the pale skin of the inner side of his ring finger, noticeably lighter than the rest. His thumb gripped the fourth finger tightly.

“A ring?”

It was the mark left by a ring that had been worn for a long time.

Startled, Jooyoung yanked his hand back and hid it behind him. Dohyun’s eyes followed it, fixed intently on the hand now tucked away, as he spoke in a low voice.

“It must be from a guy, huh?”

Jooyoung didn’t know why Dohyun still asked when he clearly already knew. He remained silent, offering no answer. Dohyun, too, stayed still with a face that revealed nothing. He looked confused—maybe even angry.

“Tch…”

After a moment, Dohyun let out a faint, mocking scoff. But the sharpness in his gaze, aimed at the hidden hand, hadn’t faded.

“You must’ve dated him a while, huh?”

He asked with a tilt of his chin.

Jooyoung couldn’t tell if it was out of simple curiosity or an attempt to probe for something deeper. Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to respond. But the silence might as well have been an answer. A ring worn for only a year or two wouldn’t have left such a clear mark.

“…Then I guess you’ve done everything.”

Dohyun muttered under his breath, gaze dropping diagonally to the floor. The words were vague, unreadable. Jooyoung kept silent, unsure what he meant—or maybe not wanting to know.

After a while, silence thickened in the air, and Dohyun’s expression suddenly soured. He roughly ran a hand over the lower half of his face, clearly flustered, and then froze when he noticed Jooyoung watching him. 

“…”

His Adam’s apple bobbed once. Then Dohyun smiled as if nothing had happened.

“Yeah, well. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“…

“Whatever you’ve done.”

But his lips were stiff as stone, and the smile carried a strange edge to it—like it had been forced out.

Jooyoung thought he would finally leave the pawnshop, but at the doorway, Dohyun suddenly came to a halt.

“Just in case, let me say this.”

“…”

“If you report something like earlier, that means you’re cutting ties for good. So try not to do that.”

“…”

“Though you probably couldn’t do it anyway.”

Even as he spoke, his gaze didn’t go to Jooyoung’s face. So Jooyoung couldn’t bring himself to move from his position, still holding his hand behind his back.

“And don’t do anything that’ll stir up trouble in the neighborhood.”

Stirring up trouble? Come to think of it, the drunk from earlier had said something similar. That Jooyoung was always stirring the water here.

“In the end, your Grandpa will be the one that takes the hit. You know that, right?”

Jooyoung had no illusions about why the locals had accepted him so readily. It was because he was Jungseop’s grandson. He knew that perfectly well. That was why he tried so hard to be diligent, even with the tiresome pawnshop work.

Unable to come up with a rebuttal, Jooyoung could only nod quietly.

“…I know.”

“Good. As long as you know.”

With that, Dohyun finally left the pawnshop. He glanced back at Jooyoung once as he stepped past the metal door, but that was it. The tension drained from Jooyoung all at once, leaving behind a deep, aching fatigue.

“Haah…”

He buried his face in his hands and exhaled. Every move Dohyun made, every word he spoke, was a nerve-wracking puzzle. What exactly did he want? Was this all just harassment? Revenge?

Just thinking about how easily he got swept up in every one of Dohyun’s moods sent Jooyoung’s stress levels skyrocketing.

***

The coin laundromat was playing a piano arrangement of a trot song. There were three washers and three dryers, and a decently spacious seating area for waiting customers. It seemed fairly new as everything still looked clean and unused.

That morning, Jooyoung had woken to find dirt on his blanket. He must’ve brought it in from the pawnshop floor during the clean-up. He had only washed it a week ago, and yet here he was again, doing another load of bedding.

He sat down in a chair and stared blankly at the spinning washer. There were still 45 minutes left in the cycle. It’d take even longer once drying was included.

“…”

Earlier, when he’d stepped out of his room, he’d run into Dohyun again. For some reason, Dohyun had kept his eyes on Jooyoung the entire time, not looking away until he was fully out of the building. Just being under his gaze made Jooyoung shrink back involuntarily.

Knock knock. At the sudden sound, Jooyoung turned his head toward the window. Pressed right up against the glass, Arin waved with a bright smile.

“What’s this? Are you doing laundry?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

She held up her tarpaulin bag and stepped inside with a cheerful bounce. The small laundromat quickly filled with the rattling hum of two washing machines spinning in tandem.

Without hesitation, Arin took the seat beside Jooyoung. Now that he thought about it, it had been a while since he’d last seen her.

“I quit the karaoke gig.”

Spinning around on the stool, singing along softly to the trot song playing overhead, Arin suddenly paused and dropped the news. He’d heard rumors that she was in debt—perhaps that had been resolved.

“Mister’s gonna help me.”

Jooyoung simply nodded. 

“What’s with this reaction? Is that all I get?” 

She pouted, tapping his stool with her foot in protest.

“When you say ‘mister’… your boyfriend’s older?”

“Yup.”

“…”

“He’s quite a bit older.”

Jooyoung, who had shown no particular interest, finally looked at Arin. Arin, feeling caught, stretched her neck back and made a pouty expression.

“He’s not married.”

“…”

“Divorced.”

He doesn’t have kids, Arin added while swinging her legs playfully back and forth. Her Crocs were dangerously close to falling off.

“Oh my, there are guests.”

At that moment, several middle-aged women came rushing into the coin laundromat. It seemed they had just been to the beauty salon, as they all had curlers in their hair and plastic caps on. The strong smell of perm chemicals wafted in the air.

One woman, who had smiled at Jooyoung, suddenly widened her eyes and awkwardly looked away. It wasn’t just that woman. All the women who had come with her chattered loudly as they entered, but then fell silent, glancing at Jooyoung and Arin.

However, the strange silence in the laundromat didn’t last long. Soon, the women’s whispering voices could be heard between the running washing machines.

“Look at that, look.”

“Oh my, he doesn’t look like that.”

“Did he come from Seoul? Who knows what’s going on inside him?”

The women sitting in a tight group around the square table glanced at Jooyoung and muttered. 

“Look how close they are. Even after Hyunju’s mom caused such a fuss, they’re still so shameless.”

“But isn’t he the grandchild of the pawnshop old man?”

“Yeah, that’s what’s even more surprising. The old man is so gentle, but….”

“We can hear everything, you know?”

As Arin snapped at them sharply, everyone immediately shut their mouths in unison. They turned their bodies, pretending not to notice as they sipped their coffee nonchalantly.

“That man was the one who started it, so why am I the only one getting yelled at… damn.”

With her face turning red, Arin grumbled, then abruptly kicked the chair and stood up. She glared at the women one by one before storming out. She didn’t come back until the laundry was finished.