PSY CH 71

Dohyun was intensely jealous.

Because they were especially close, Jooyoung understood to some extent, but Dohyun always crossed the line, never knowing when to stop. It was the same even as they moved up in school, and each made their own friends. There was a blind devotion to him. He acted like a duckling imprinting on the first person it sees as its mother.

Whenever Jooyoung hung out with other friends, Dohyun insisted on tagging along, and if he was left out, he made sure Jooyoung knew he was upset. Then, inevitably, he’d get embarrassed and apologize by himself again.

The buzz-cut little boy who used to follow him around every day, calling him “haengnim-ah.” And now, the man standing before him.

They seemed different, but they were the same person in the end.

Jooyoung turned back the way he had come and walked up to stand in front of Dohyun. Perhaps surprised by how suddenly the distance between them closed, Dohyun flinched and stepped back. Jooyoung closed the distance again. 

“Hey, do you… maybe…”

…Like me?—that was what he was about to ask.

“Oh! Boss, you’re here!” 

At that moment, the storage room door behind them opened, and Sunwoo appeared. He brightened at the sight of Dohyun and walked over, holding a mop in his left hand.

“You remember what I told you last time, right? The one that I said had the face of someone who’d get kicked out!”

Excited, Sunwoo approached as he spoke. He started going on and on, unprompted, about how he was seriously considering pursuing face-reading because his accuracy was just too good.

The tension, so thick it felt like you could touch the grain of the air, shattered with a crash.

“…”

Maybe because the flow of the conversation had been broken, Jooyoung suddenly felt like now wasn’t the time. It might be better to organize his thoughts more and push Dohyun later. After a brief inner struggle, he turned to leave.

“Wait.”

Dohyun called out to stop him urgently, just as Sunwoo, glancing between the two, chuckled and tactfully backed away.

“Oh, you guys were in the middle of something! Please, go ahead and finish talking. I’ve got floor cleaning to do anyway.” 

He lifted the mop slightly and disappeared, reading the mood.

But Jooyoung, now with a face that said he had nothing more to say, fully turned away. Dohyun couldn’t bring himself to stop him. In a barely audible voice, all he managed, with his clenched fist dropping limply to his side, was “…I’ll call you later.”

When Jooyoung didn’t respond, he said it again.

“I said I’ll call.”

But Jooyoung deliberately didn’t give any reply.

“…”

Even as Jooyoung turned the corner and disappeared, Dohyun’s gaze remained fixed on him.

His face looked just like a child on the verge of tears.

***

Jooyoung intentionally didn’t pick up Dohyun’s calls. After leaving three missed calls, about ten minutes later, Dohyun sent a text.

[Wanna come over today?]

Jooyoung let out a short, dry laugh. He couldn’t tell if that was brazen or just clueless… 

Considering the emotion Dohyun had shown that day, this text probably wasn’t just a casual invitation to sleep over like before. But it was laughable that this was all he could manage. If they were still kids, Jooyoung might’ve let it slide. But now, there was no reason to. 

So, without hesitation, he sent back a curt reply.

[No]

No matter how long he waited, Dohyun didn’t reply. Jooyoung set his phone down with a bored expression.

Now that it was September, the air had grown a little cooler, but the afternoons were still hot. Feeling the soft breeze from the fan, Jooyoung rested his chin on his hand and thought about Dohyun, retracing all his strange behavior from the beginning.

“But I haven’t been with anyone else since I was with you.”

Now he understood why Dohyun had said that.

At the time, Jooyoung had already been in a foul mood after overhearing Dohyun talking to a girl, so he hadn’t had the patience to think it through calmly.

Dohyun had acted like someone caught hiding a past from his lover, and later accused Jooyoung like he’d been the one cheating. It didn’t make any sense in their current relationship.

There was only one reason that could explain all of it.

Hwang Dohyun likes Bae Jooyoung.

“…”

Jooyoung’s lips curled in satisfaction. With a light tap, his index finger drummed his cheek. Maybe this would all work out more easily than he thought.

Up until now, it had been hard because he couldn’t figure out what Dohyun really wanted. But if Dohyun really did like him…

Bzzz—

The phone vibrated on the desk, pulling Jooyoung from his thoughts. He assumed it was finally a text from Dohyun, but the sender was someone unexpected. His grip on the phone tightened.

[Jooyoung-ah, how have you been? You haven’t contacted me at all…]

As he read the long message, a photo arrived. 

[This was taken right after a match, so I look kind of rough haha, hope you don’t mind.]

In the photo, Joomin was beaming, drenched in sweat. His hair clung to his face, and his cheeks were flushed red. Judging by the proud, satisfied smile, he must have won the match.

[If you have time, come watch sometime]

[No pressure though haha]

After the game poster, there were no more texts from Joomin.

“…”

Jooyoung’s gaze slowly shifted from Joomin’s face to the wheelchair he was sitting in. Most of the people in the photo were in wheelchairs.

“Come watch the game in October. It’s in Gimhae, so it’s not even that far.”

Jooyoung stared at the desk calendar sitting off to the side. He had heard from Joosung that there was a game in October, but of course, he hadn’t marked it down. He never had any intention of going in the first place. 

He pressed his lips together and threw his phone down. A sudden wave of irritation hit him, and he buried his face in his palms.

“Ha…”

He’d said it more than once—he wasn’t going to the game. So why did his brother have to keep poking at him like this? 

And again, who was it that got me stuck in this place in the first place, huh?

It was always like this every time Jooyoung thought about his second brother, Joomin. Even though he knew it wasn’t his brother’s fault, his head and heart never matched up, so in the end, the blame always found its way to him. He’d get angry, then suddenly feel endlessly sorry—it was an emotional whiplash.

If there was one good thing about being at Maeyang, it was that he didn’t have to see his brother.

A dull headache throbbed in his skull. Voices, like a crowd shouting in his head, began to flood in.

“Jooyoung, you should understand since your brother’s sick, okay?”

“It must be nice having a little brother to count on.” 

“Jooyoung-ah, I’m sorry. It’s so dirty, isn’t it?” 

The voices shifted—from his mom, to strangers, to his brother—stirring his mind into a chaotic mess.

“…Fuck.”

Jooyoung finally spat the curse through gritted teeth and sprang to his feet. His chest felt so tight, his head ached—he couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his wallet and stormed out of the pawn shop.

He half-ran down the stairs, briskly passing the adult arcade. Somewhere behind him, he vaguely heard the chime of a bell before it stopped. Pressing at his temples, he hurried toward the pharmacy. Thankfully, it wasn’t far.

The pharmacy was crowded with people waiting to pick up prescriptions. The pharmacist was frantically trying to handle the rush, while a drama played noisily on the wall-mounted TV.

Fortunately, a shelf of over-the-counter painkillers stood near the entrance on the right, making it easy to find what he needed.

As Jooyoung scanned the neatly arranged boxes of medicine, he unconsciously glanced around. Past the sweaty pharmacist, his eyes drifted up to the ceiling. Being an old pharmacy, there was only one security camera, and it only pointed at the counter.

“…”

His gaze moved toward the entrance. The stacks of sofas and boxes of energy drinks blocked the view from outside, making it hard to see in. The customers inside were either on their phones or watching TV with prescription slips in hand. No one was looking at Jooyoung.

At that moment, a powerful impulse shook him. His heartbeat started to quicken.

His mouth went dry. His whole body felt on edge, like he was in a horror movie—every nerve tense with anxiety.

“…”

He licked his lower lip, checked the pharmacist, the ceiling camera, and the people again. His eyelids fluttered rapidly in an unnatural blink. He could hear the ticking of a clock that wasn’t even there. His head spun like he was drunk. Jooyoung carefully picked up a box of painkillers. Slowly, he lowered his arm. As he gulped and tried to slip the medicine into his pocket—

“Ah…!”

Someone grabbed his wrist.

The painkillers, halfway into his pocket, came crumpled out along with his hand.

In an instant, a flood of thoughts raced through his head. His mother’s tear-soaked cheeks, his father’s hand repeatedly patting his back, saying it was okay. And Joomin’s conflicted eyes, filled with guilt, saying it must’ve been his fault.

Shaking, Jooyoung slowly raised his gaze to the hand gripping his wrist.

It was Dohyun. His heart immediately dropped like a stone.

“…”

He could only stare at him blankly. With the sunlight behind him, it was hard to see Dohyun’s expression, and that only made it more unsettling. Goosebumps prickled along Jooyoung’s skin as a sharp chill swept over him.

Trembling, Jooyoung sucked in a shaky breath.

Then, Dohyun took the painkillers from his stiff, clenched hand. He walked straight to the counter, skipped the entire line, and placed a ten-thousand-won bill down. Then he turned back immediately. 

“Hey, you forgot your change…!”

The pharmacist fumbled to open the register, but Dohyun was already holding tightly onto Jooyoung’s wrist—the very hand that had tried to steal the medicine.

“…”

Faced with Dohyun’s stony expression, Jooyoung trembled like a frightened child.

He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.