RCKS 33

“I’m going to stay in this room anyway. And I’m going back to sleep. I won’t bother you like when we were kids.”

“……”

Of course, it would be nice to hang out together, but the atmosphere suggested he wouldn’t be included. When they were kids, it was because Lee Yoonsan was younger than them, and now that they were adults, it was because only Lee Yoonsan was an omega while Hwang Haekyung’s friends were all alphas. It felt like another invisible line had been drawn. Still, Lee Yoonsan quickly continued speaking, afraid that Hwang Haekyung would leave the room. Hwang Haekyung looked at Lee Yoonsan as if he didn’t like it, then moved and helped Lee Yoonsan sit on the bed. And he himself sat on the floor next to it, looked at Lee Yoonsan’s bandaged foot, and spoke. His gaze remained fixed on Lee Yoonsan’s foot.

“When was this bandage last changed?”

“Last night.”

“I’ll change it. The medicine.”

“It’s… over there, by the bag.”

Whether he was extremely dissatisfied with the current situation or not, Hwang Haekyung conversed without once lifting his head. That posture felt like another form of avoidance to Lee Yoonsan, which made him sad, but for now, he felt relieved by the fact that Hwang Haekyung was talking to him. Hwang Haekyung, on the other hand, seemed to have no such feelings. He found the medicine bag in the luggage Lee Yoonsan had pointed to and sat back down in front of him. He took out the disinfectant and bandage from the medicine bag and then deliberately tossed the empty bag onto Lee Yoonsan’s thigh.

Thanks to that, Lee Yoonsan’s thighs, which had been spread apart, closed to catch the bag. Hwang Haekyung then grabbed Lee Yoonsan’s ankle, as if telling him to stay still, and began to unwrap the bandage.

Hwang Haekyung unwrapped the elastic bandage protecting Lee Yoonsan’s wound, looked at the stitched area, and checked for any contamination or discharge. After lightly disinfecting the area around the wound, he wrapped it again with a new elastic bandage, securing it in place. During this series of procedures, Hwang Haekyung placed the ointment on the bed, but even then, he never raised his head.

“Why did you stop contacting me?”

Was that why? The words that he would have hesitated to say if they had been looking at each other’s faces just popped out. Lee Yoonsan asked calmly while looking at the top of Hwang Haekyung’s head, and only then did Hwang Haekyung raise his head. He looked up at Lee Yoonsan with a slightly surprised expression, but then his eyes seemed to try to avoid his, dropping down before having to lift again as they landed near Lee Yoonsan’s thighs.

Never mind the fact that the shorts Lee Yoonsan was wearing revealed more than half of his thighs in his seated position, the wide legs created a shadow on the inner skin that was dizzying. The contrast with the inner thigh, which was clearly paler than the exposed parts, was disconcerting. It was a strange feeling, and for Hwang Haekyung, the best he could do was feign composure so that he wouldn’t put too much strength into the hand holding Lee Yoonsan’s foot.

“Did you start hating me again?”

“What?”

Lee Yoonsan, on the other hand, never once took his eyes off Hwang Haekyung’s face. It was a question that the timid, overly-conscious Lee Yoonsan of his manifestation period would not have been able to ask. He would have been afraid of making the atmosphere awkward and anxious about how the other person would see him. But he felt that if the other person was Hwang Haekyung, it was a little different.

Conversations with Hwang Haekyung sometimes took him back to his camping boy days. Not to the utterly timid Lee Yoonsan of his manifestation period, who was crushed by his complex, but to the little camper of those days who was triumphant after winning an arm-wrestling match against Hwang Haekyung. He didn’t know if it was possible because they had known each other since then, or because Hwang Haekyung hadn’t seen him by his side when he was timid and withdrawn during his manifestation period, or because the Hwang Haekyung he had met again didn’t care about his chubby days.

There were moments when Lee Yoonsan acted like the childhood Lee Yoonsan in front of Hwang Haekyung. Whether it was in a DM window or in person.

Besides, the childhood Hwang Haekyung had already disliked him once, and two years ago, he had suddenly cut off contact. So this time, rather than tentatively gauging his mood, he wanted a clear answer. He had disliked me once in the past, so even if the reason for cutting off contact this time was the same, let’s not get hurt—how much had he steeled his heart over the past two years? With the self-suggestion that it was better to at least relieve his frustration than to repeat the same thing again.

When he was a child, Lee Yoonsan didn’t know why Hwang Haekyung disliked him. Since he disliked Hwang Haekyung too, he had never even bothered to wonder. And he realized it belatedly during his manifestation period. Why Hwang Haekyung had disliked him. That is, he had only figured out the reason late. His younger self had unwittingly provoked his complex, and his parents’ excessive doting on him must have all been thorns in his side.

He didn’t want it to be like that this time. If he had avoided contact with him because he disliked him, he wanted to know a more definite reason. The reason why he disliked him. His pride was hurt and he was frustrated, but he liked Hwang Haekyung.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it started, but Lee Yoonsan had clearly come to like Hwang Haekyung at some point. He didn’t know if it was from the time when he didn’t even hear about other alphas, or from the time in college when he would think of Hwang Haekyung even when his friends were dating alphas. But this feeling of injustice, anger, sadness, and worry could not be explained unless it was a feeling of affection. His feelings for Hwang Haekyung, who had unilaterally cut off contact.

Secondly, he had become impatient, wondering when Hwang Haekyung would disappear and grow distant again. Even right now, it felt like Hwang Haekyung would go up to the second floor where his friends were as soon as he finished changing the bandage on his foot. Then the conversation would be cut off just like that. Moreover, if Hwang Haekyung were to stay somewhere else, there would be no chance for Hwang Haekyung and Lee Yoonsan to run into each other, even intentionally. If one party was determined to avoid the other, it would become an issue that Lee Yoonsan could do nothing about.

That’s why Lee Yoonsan had asked Hwang Haekyung, unable to even hide his tense expression. If he had started to dislike him. It was a question that hurt the pride of the twenty-year-old Lee Yoonsan to say, and it was also a statement that couldn’t hide his sadness. To add to that, it was even more miserable than that. The question of asking someone you like if they dislike you was cruel in itself.

“I’ve never disliked you.”

“Don’t lie. When we were kids, you disliked me, so you ostracized me and always played with your other friends!”

The state of Lee Yoonsan, who had been tense like a taut rubber band, snapped at Hwang Haekyung’s lie-like denial. Lee Yoonsan thought Hwang Haekyung had denied it to get over the situation lightly. Even though he had brought up the miserable question with difficulty to have a serious conversation. So his voice came out high-pitched.

Meanwhile, Hwang Haekyung couldn’t hide his bewilderment at Lee Yoonsan’s reaction. You disliked me back then too, didn’t you? Hwang Haekyung reflexively swallowed the words that were about to come out and looked up at Lee Yoonsan. Seeing Lee Yoonsan’s face distorted with emotion, looking utterly wronged, made a part of his heart feel anxious. So he squeezed the foot he was holding and opened his mouth again.

“You hated insects.”

“We still could have played together!”

“In exchange for me not playing with you, you took my mom and dad’s affection.”

“What, you think you didn’t get doted on by my moms?!”

“……”

“…No, this isn’t it. This isn’t what I was trying to say…!”

A laugh finally burst from Hwang Haekyung’s mouth, a short pfft. Lee Yoonsan, not knowing what to do with the rapidly devolving, childish conversation, blushed. And as he let go of Lee Yoonsan’s foot, Hwang Haekyung said. With a faint, wry laugh.

“Alright. I guess I did dislike you. I apologize.”

“…Forget it, I disliked you more.”

“Then you win. I’ll forgive you, for disliking me more. Since you won, show some magnanimity as the victor.”

I didn’t know how to treat you back then, I didn’t. Hwang Haekyung said with a grin. His tone and voice were just like the messages they had exchanged via DM. It was the voice and tone of a ‘hyung,’ a jumble of appropriate playfulness, affection, and affability. So Lee Yoonsan, while liking and disliking it at the same time, accepted the offer of reconciliation that Hwang Haekyung had subtly extended.

“…Alright.”

“And other than that, I’ve never disliked you.”

“Then why did you stop contacting me?”

At Lee Yoonsan’s direct words, Hwang Haekyung smiled bitterly and closed his mouth. It seems he doesn’t plan on answering this one. Lee Yoonsan stared blankly at Hwang Haekyung for a moment before deciding to change the subject. If it wasn’t because he disliked him, he didn’t want to dig into a topic he didn’t want to talk about and torment him.

In any case, Hwang Haekyung was a person who had indirectly cared for Lee Yoonsan during his manifestation period. Leaving aside his feelings of affection, that alone made Hwang Haekyung special to Lee Yoonsan. Including the self-esteem that had dropped due to his appearance, what had defended the dark side of the adolescent Lee Yoonsan, who became timid and afraid of others’ eyes by overthinking, was Hwang Haekyung’s DMs that had stolen all his attention back then, his attitude toward him, and his existence itself.

“If you don’t dislike me, then sleep here.”

“They’re all alphas.”

“My manifestation period is over, and pheromone control is a basic skill. For me, and for your friends too.”

Or are you friends with people you can’t trust that much? Lee Yoonsan looked at Hwang Haekyung with an expression that seemed to say just that. His straightforward gaze and bright expression honestly reflected his feelings. At that, Hwang Haekyung smiled as if rather troubled and washed his dry face with one hand. Lee Yoonsan’s face wore a clean expression that didn’t even entertain the possibility of a worst-case scenario.

Alphas or omegas whose manifestation periods have ended are no different from betas in their daily lives. They did have heat cycles, but they could lead normal lives by taking medication, and there were also ways to maintain their physical cycles by spending their heat with a partner. Of course, second-genders who wanted to just get past it would get a prescription for a slightly stronger suppressant and take it only during that period.

Therefore, the idea that a sex-related accident would occur just because an adult alpha and omega were in the same space was an insulting leap of logic. At least, that was what Lee Yoonsan had been taught. Even if you were to substitute them with betas, isn’t the idea that a sex-related accident would occur just because someone of the opposite sex came over to your house an extreme leap of logic?

“Did you tell your aunt and uncle you were coming? They didn’t seem to know until they left for camping.”

“No. Don’t tell them.”

“Did you sneak in while the house was empty?”

“…Yes.”

This time, Hwang Haekyung’s expression wrinkled a little. He wore a slightly scrunched-up expression like someone who had just remembered a bothersome task, and it seemed he was reluctant to participate in the camping trip. That must be why he had planned to sneak in and stay while the house was empty. Thinking that far, Lee Yoonsan wondered if there was a way to keep Hwang Haekyung here.

“If you don’t want me to leave, you stay here too.”

“Why are you so defenseless? You don’t even know those guys, do you?”

“But I know you. If you say you’re leaving, I’m going to tell your aunt and uncle that you came to Jeju.”

“Are you going to play dirty?”

“I don’t want to be a bother. It’s weirder for the owner of the house to leave because of me, isn’t it?”

Hwang Haekyung protested to Lee Yoonsan as if his weakness had been exploited, but Lee Yoonsan maintained a firm attitude. He knew his current actions were childish and petty, but he felt that it would be difficult to keep Hwang Haekyung here otherwise. As far as Lee Yoonsan could tell, it seemed Hwang Haekyung still intended to drag his friends out and find a room in Seogwipo or somewhere else as soon as he left this room.

“…Then promise me you won’t talk to them or even make eye contact with them.”

“What?”

“You still don’t seem to get it, but I’m your hyung. I have a duty to protect you from unfamiliar alphas.”

“Hyung and protection. To a grown man.”

“Yeah, even if you won’t admit it.”

Hwang Haekyung casually dismissed Lee Yoonsan’s incredulous expression and retort and stood up from his seat. There had been a slight argument, but since he didn’t say anything in the end, it seemed he had decided to stay at this house today. Lee Yoonsan felt a bit of his anxiety subside just from that. He wished they could be together a little longer, but for now, he had succeeded in keeping him here.

Once he relaxed a little, sleepiness began to creep in again. In truth, he had woken up too early, and the tension he had felt because of Hwang Haekyung seemed to be finally easing. Lee Yoonsan picked up the medicine bag that had been placed on his thigh as if to cover it and the ointment next to it to put them away, and said to Hwang Haekyung, who was heading for the door.

“I’m going back to sleep. I’m a heavy sleeper, so you can be as loud as you want.”

“What about food?”

“I’ll eat on my own when I wake up. If the timing is right, let’s eat together.”

“…Hold on.”

Hwang Haekyung, who had wrinkled one eyebrow as if displeased by Lee Yoonsan’s words, approached Lee Yoonsan again. He took the medicine bag from Lee Yoonsan’s hand and placed it back on top of the luggage. It seemed he was quite concerned that Lee Yoonsan might move around. Lee Yoonsan couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at Hwang Haekyung’s actions, and Hwang Haekyung, with an uncomprehending expression, pushed the blanket over Lee Yoonsan’s thighs.

“What’s this?”

“I’m changing the blanket, it has ointment on it.”

“Really? But it’s probably just a little. It’s fine. I’m just going to sleep.”

“Don’t sleep yet. I’ll bring a new blanket and things from upstairs.”

“No, you really don’t have to…?”

“And this is a guest room, so it’s rarely used. I probably don’t even know when the blanket was last changed.”

For a moment, Lee Yoonsan wondered if Hwang Haekyung was trying to cover his legs, which were spread open carelessly, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. Seeing him leave the room, determined to change the blanket.

Lee Yoonsan lay in the room Hwang Haekyung had left and stared at the ceiling. So many things had happened in just one day since yesterday. He had hurt his foot, been left alone in the house while his parents, aunt, and uncle went camping, and Hwang Haekyung had barged in with his friends. And most importantly, he had talked with Hwang Haekyung.