RSL Ch 16

I woke up to the rattling sound three hours after we started our journey. It was the sound of a caravan traveling through the mountain passes where night had fallen silent as it hit the rocks on the road.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? Let’s switch.”

“I can’t stop here. What if a car comes from the other side?”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I am.”

He smiled as he answered honestly. Google Maps didn’t work. He downloaded another Korean map app. It looked like we were on our way to Daegwallyeong. I rolled down the window to get some night air. It was a narrow mountain path with no room to turn around. It was a different feeling from the expansive Alps with open views.

After passing through a tunnel, a relatively flat plateau appeared. Han Jae-yi pulled over to the side of the road and searched for coffee. He poured hot water into a drip bag that had lost its flavor. There’s no room for complaining about the taste during camping. I persuaded him to sit in the passenger seat and took the wheel.

Luckily, there was a nearby campground. We quickly entered and parked in a secluded area. The campground only had a water station and a restroom, but I liked it even more because of that.

It was too late for dinner, so cheese and beer occupied the tray. We opened the back door and set up the curtain. Beyond the silhouette of the mountains, the moon was visible. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” played from Han Jae-yi’s portable speaker.

He was fiddling with an LED lamp switch, turning it on and off repeatedly while humming a song. I gulped down my beer, which had barely stayed cold, and leaned back. I shifted my weight on my arms and looked up at the night sky.

“Can you see any stars?”

“I can definitely see some of them.”

Stars are burned-out clumps of hydrogen. The universe is so vast that it takes tens of thousands of years for light traveling at 300,000 kilometers per second to reach Earth. The stars we see are likely already gone. It’s praising delusion and death. It’s ironic.

“Where’s your next flight?”

“Paris.”

“Ah, the city we loved.”

“It’s also where you skipped your entire summer semester.”

“You really chose the right profession. Sometimes I feel frustrated that you don’t insist on us becoming pilots together.”

“If I had insisted, would you have really considered it?”

“Maybe, if you had suggested it.”

I imagined scenes of training and flying with him. Our everyday conversations, wearing the same uniform, discussing similar topics, started to burn like hydrogen chunks. My universe was so narrow that it didn’t even take a second for that light to completely disappear.

He asked a slightly heavy question.

“Have you ever regretted anything in life?”

He had a faint smile, but his expression was quite serious. The sporadic conversations of other campers gradually subsided.

“Why wouldn’t I have regrets? Skipping classes to swim in the lake with you during midwinter is my biggest regret.”

“Oh, haha, yeah. We both caught colds and were bedridden for days.”

He laughed for quite a while at my lighthearted response. Unsure if he was trying to change the subject or wanted to share his story, I jokingly asked as much as I could receive his laughter. Did he have anything he regretted? The answer was unexpectedly heavy.

“I regret every moment.”

A coldness flashed across his face for a moment, and then it was gone.

“I’m always impulsive, you know. Haha.”

With such an excuse, he slipped away. I swallowed the words I wanted to say with my beer. Suddenly, he got up and came back with a blanket. He asked if I was cold, but the blanket fell onto my lap. Without waiting for a response, he lay down on top of it, folding his long legs gracefully. The song from the speaker had changed to “Space Oddity.”

“Woo Seo-jin, you have a lot of questions, don’t you?”

His weight pressing down on my thigh weighed heavily on me.

“Ask anything. I’ll answer in exchange for being a leg pillow.”

With his eyes closed, Han Jae-yi seemed about to fall asleep, so I had to seize the opportunity quickly.

“What was the personal matter you needed to sort out?”

His eyes remained closed, but a smile formed on his lips. It meant he expected this question.

* * *

We were driving downhill. We had a quick breakfast. After leaving the campground, we continued to drive. Whenever we found a scenic spot, we parked the car, enjoyed the view, and filled our hunger with coffee and snacks.

When hunger reached its peak, we both agreed it was time for a proper meal and headed towards the mountain lodge restaurant Han Jae-yi had found.

“It’ll be perfect for a freeway ride before sunset.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me if you need to go to the bathroom.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you lost in thought again?”

“Yeah.”

I was replaying the story Han Jae-yi told me last night, and I thought I knew everything about him, but there was one thing I didn’t: the real reason his family immigrated to Germany.

‘I actually have a grandmother on my family tree.’

Han Jae-yi’s grandfather, who ran a small business, said he took a second wife because he couldn’t have children. They had two sons, and there was a fight over the property.

Han Jae-yi’s father, the second son, gave up his inheritance and immigrated to Germany. It seemed that even though he had abandoned his son, his grandfather could not let go of his only grandchild.

I was beginning to understand why Han Jae-yi sometimes went into Korea.

‘My grandfather gave me some land, but because I’m not a Korean citizen, the process is complicated. I’ve been putting off sorting it out, but this time, I’m serious about it. It’s a secret from my father.’

Han Jae-yi’s father, being a university professor, was a refined and dignified person. His study was enormous, and as someone who enjoyed reading books, I sometimes sneaked in. There were many Korean books. Sometimes, I envied Han Jae-yi for having such a father. The feeling of scolding a son for reading comic books was understandable and lingering.

‘It would cost us billions in taxes to organize it all and bring it back to Germany.’

‘What?’

I was so surprised by the amount that I pushed him off of me as he lay there on my leg. He picked himself up, took the beer from my hand, and laughed. He asked me what I was so surprised about.

It felt like he had inherited more than just a little land. I asked if Gisella knew. He nodded his head as if it was obvious.

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘I’m getting married.’

‘You haven’t done it yet.’

That was the end of the conversation. I watched him enter the caravan, feeling a bit perplexed. Why was he telling me this? It seemed excessive for just being a leg pillow.

That’s where yesterday’s memories ended. The camper van arrived at the mountain lodge restaurant. There were many tourists, perhaps because there was a nearby sheep ranch. They served pancakes, bibimbap, and mountain vegetables. It was said to be a place where the scenery was more important than the food. We sat on the raised wooden platform without tables. I liked how the shade of the trees shielded us from the sunlight.

“How long will we stay in Paris?”

“Two days.”

“Two days in Paris? Why is the stay so short? Bangkok was also two days.”

“Maybe someone took a vacation.”

Unlike cabin crew members, pilots have quite a bit of freedom when it comes to vacations. If it’s before the flight schedule comes out, you can usually request as much time off as you want, and most of the time, it’ll be approved. I had planned to take a long vacation right after Han Jae-yi’s wedding. I’m still undecided about the destination.

A family of tourists sitting next to us was looking at souvenirs as if they had come from the sheep ranch. A child wearing a wool hat finished eating and started playing in the dirt under the table.

“Shall we go see the sheep ranch?”

His words caught me off guard.

“Did you like that kind of thing?”

“We’ve come this far, it’d be a waste not to. And it’s not like we have anything urgent to do.”

“Don’t you have work? You might get fired.”

“Even if I do, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

He skillfully tore the pancake with his chopsticks and placed the seafood that came out between the layers. He carefully put them on my plate as if offering a new nest. I had no choice but to accept what he gave me. I ate it as he gave it to me. The mother bird smiled as if satisfied.

It seemed like we should go to the sheep ranch after all.