RSL Ch 117

Following my advice, Han Jae-yi exited the outer road just ahead of the navigation’s guidance. As we entered a quiet suburban road, a vast field dominated by canola flowers spread out before us. Birds flew up in flocks, the wind rustled the leafy branches, and the smell of fertilizer lingered in the air. The season of the lazy had passed, and spring had arrived.

Leaving behind the yellow festival of flowers, we entered a small neighborhood again. As we passed by a few pedestrians, a church came into view as we approached the center of the village.

“I think this is it.”

It was 10:55. We had arrived just in time. I hurriedly got out of the car, straightened my clothes, and grabbed the gifts and bouquet I had prepared from the trunk. Seeing the church doors wide open, it seemed we weren’t late after all. Han Jae-yi and I headed towards the entrance of the church side by side.

“There are more people than I expected.”

I looked back as I was waiting for the baptism in the front row. In fact, except for the twenty or so guests that Chris had sent invitations to, everyone else was there for the regular service. Perhaps because it was a large church, it looked like there were well over a hundred people. For them, it was just an ordinary Sunday service. Emma’s baptism would take place during the service, taking about ten minutes.

“By the way, wasn’t the blessing supposed to come first?”

Han Jae-yi asked, handing me a crumpled paper that outlined the order of the service. The creases were quite evident, and it seemed like it had been rolled up and played with, as the corners were crumpled. It was already well past 11, and we were still waiting for the priest, so perhaps the schedule had changed.

“Maybe the order has been switched.”

“Uh, looks like he’s coming out now?”

At Han Jae-yi’s words, I turned back to face the front. The priest entered, and the choir took their places. Everyone stood up. Without any explanation, the service began, and hymns filled the air. Han Jae-yi looked at me with a smile, clearly flustered.

His face seemed to say, “Does it always start so suddenly?” I nodded in response. Automatically, the lyrics flowed from my lips. Human memory is more remarkable than one might think. Relying on the memories from my childhood, I managed to lip-sync through the second verse without much difficulty.

He looked at me in wonder. Having never even stepped over the church threshold, all he could do was smile and let the moment pass. Everyone except Han Jae-yi was singing praises to God with such familiarity.

The hymn continued through four verses. Then, as if on cue, everyone sat down again. The timing was so sudden that the startled Han Jae-yi quickly followed suit. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. It seemed amusing to him.

“Before today’s service, let us celebrate the new life that will receive the Lord’s blessing.”

The priest briefly introduced Emma. The child, holding Chris and Sylvia’s hands, looked out at the crowd with a slightly frozen expression. For this day, Emma wore a white dress. My mother, sitting next to me, waved at the child. Seeing that, my father waved too. Spotting familiar faces among the strangers, Emma beamed with joy.

The procedure was simple. Han Jae-yi and I would be called up to read the declaration, after which the priest would begin the blessing. Then, he would sprinkle holy water on Emma’s forehead, and we would all pray together to conclude. Following that, the regular service would continue. Eventually, Chris called our names.

“The godfather of the baby is my brother Maximilian Schmitz, and his partner Han Jae-yi.”

As my brother’s voice echoed through the speakers hanging from the church ceiling, all eyes turned to us at once. It became slightly chaotic.

At that moment, two curiosities must have arisen in their minds. The appearance of me, a pure-blooded Asian as his brother, and the fact that my partner was a man. Whispers exchanged discreetly.

We pretended not to notice and stepped up to the platform to read the declaration. We prayed for my beloved niece Emma to live healthily and happily until the life bestowed upon her by God comes to an end. And we vowed that, if permitted, we would care for her along the way.

Before the declaration was even finished, a middle-aged man stood up with an unpleasant expression and left his seat. The sound of the heavy door closing echoed particularly loudly. Some nodded in agreement, while others clicked their tongues in disapproval.

I glanced at Han Jae-yi beside me. He was smiling at Emma, seemingly unfazed. I wasn’t particularly upset either; I was just curious.

Was it our relationship that offended the man? Or was it the church’s irreverence in allowing us to stand here? Standing in the midst of the 21st century, it is still difficult for those who must uphold beliefs from hundreds of years ago. Still, I would not judge them.

“Don’t worry about it. There are always people who are eager to express their feelings without considering others, no matter where you go.”

By the time the salad was served, my father casually remarked. Everyone nodded in agreement. Seeing that everyone understood the context of the conversation, it seemed I wasn’t the only one with keen insight. My mother, in particular, seemed quite upset.

“How can someone be so rude? Afterward, I even heard someone say, ‘How come your son and son-in-law are all so tall?’”

“Does that include me as well?”

Chris asked, looking at my mother. Seeing her husband waiting for a serious answer, Sylvia stifled a laugh and handed me the bread basket.

“Just asking that question shows he lacks confidence. Why would he think otherwise? Max, that one with raisins is delicious. Yes, that one.”

Sylvia beamed with pride as she successfully placed her favorite bread on my plate.

“But that one person was a bit strange; everyone else was friendly.”

“Right. I even ran into an old client in the meantime.”

Han Jae-yi chimed in.

“Was it that person you were exchanging business cards with after the service?”

“Yeah. He works for an auto parts company in Freiburg and had a major patent lawsuit. It was big enough to make the local news. After winning, our entire team was invited to a party, but I was the only one who didn’t go.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“To catch you, who had run off to Korea.”

He shot me a playful glance. I had no retort, so I just chuckled. It felt like a distant memory, even though it was only two years ago.

“Didn’t you say you changed companies? You might as well do some sales too.”

Chris interjected.

“Yeah. He even said he wanted to meet up separately. He was thinking about changing his consulting firm.”

Han Jae-yi, who had chosen soup instead of salad, had already finished his bowl. I was also quite hungry and was already on my second piece of bread. Chris was cutting tomatoes and feeding them to the whimpering Emma.

“That’s good. Now that you’re a senior, you get commissions, right?”

“Some are like that, and some aren’t.”

“Try to persuade him to work with you guys. Oh, by the way, didn’t you inadvertently come out? Is that okay?”

“It’s fine. They asked when I got married and congratulated me.”

The wedding ring on Han Jae-yi’s finger sparkled as he set down his spoon.

We don’t bother to hide each other. There have certainly been parts that became confusing because of it. There were indeed some rude questions. However, German society has accepted us quite indifferently, and events like today are rare.

In fact, the most intense reactions came from Korea. It might be expected, but it was from Han Jae-yi’s relatives. His uncle and his paternal side, the so-called ‘big family,’ caused quite a stir for a while.

They hurled words at me that Han Jae-yi’s late father had never said. They questioned whether a “homo kid” could fly a plane and even mentioned boycotting Korean Air, where I was employed at the time. The reason I had to know such trivial wording was that the uncle had called me.

Through that incident, I witnessed Han Jae-yi’s immense anger, which I had never seen before. It was the first time I realized he could be so furious.

In fact, the root of all that commotion was tied to money. The problem was that Han Jae-yi’s grandfather was still alive, and he didn’t want to lose both his son and grandson. Having nearly completed his life, what did the gender of his grandson’s spouse matter to him? The plan to add more to the inheritance he had previously received was still in progress.

“Hyun, how is Sook? When is he coming back?”

My mother asked about Han Jae-yi’s mother. The name, which had two consonants, was difficult for him to pronounce. To avoid mistakes, I spoke slowly and clearly.

“Is she staying at her younger sister’s house?”

“Yes. She says she should start heading back now that winter is over, but it seems she’s comfortable there.”

Fortunately, Han Jae-yi’s mother and I were getting along well. Since we weren’t strangers to begin with, it wasn’t difficult to restore our relationship. It took about six months to go from awkwardly exchanging greetings to being able to share a meal together. We still hadn’t reached the point of visiting each other’s homes for an overnight stay.

However, I had no complaints. It’s not easy to accept that her son, who had been straight for 30 years, suddenly had a male spouse. I could understand if it took much longer. What I was most grateful for was that she was continuously making an effort.

‘Still, I’m glad it’s you, Seo-jin. If it were someone else, it would have been harder.’

‘It’s like having another son, so it’s all good.’

Those passing remarks she made meant more to me than she could ever know. Being accepted without rejection has always been the greatest challenge, fear, and happiness in my life.

In that sense, marriage has restructured my relationships. Over time, it will become evident. The connections that were once sexually linked have all rusted away. That space has been filled by old acquaintances and family, who have created a strong bond that ties Han Jae-yi and me together, making it hard to break.

In all my future relationships, Han Jae-yi will be there, and in areas where he is rejected, I will also disappear. Of course, I believe Han Jae-yi will feel the same way.

After finishing our meal with the family, we returned to Munich. I took the wheel. The endless chatter of the Schmitz family was something that Han Jae-yi never seemed to tire of, not me. Perhaps due to fatigue, his head, which had been resting on the seat next to me, suddenly drooped to the side. I turned down the radio for him as he fell asleep.

Since becoming a senior partner last month, Han Jae-yi had been completely buried in work. Even on days when I didn’t have a flight, he came home late. This was something we had decided together, so I was still observing the situation. I had never doubted his promise that he would stop whenever I told him to.

As for me, I had a bit more leisure time. Long-distance flights of over seven hours were rare. Thanks to that, I picked up a new hobby. These days, I volunteered to take charge of meals.

Of course, I was still keeping his request not to cook. So, it would be more accurate to say I was assembling rather than cooking. Every other day, I opened a meal kit that was delivered, adding the already prepared ingredients and seasonings in order.

If it said to boil, I boiled; if it said to stir-fry, I stir-fried. The experience of having precisely measured ingredients fall into my hands and turn into a dish was quite nice. It was a product of civilization. The taste was just okay. We had lived too many years for our palates to be impressed by such things.

As we exited the highway, the car spun around. The centrifugal force tilted the vehicle. A few sheets of paper that had been on Han Jae-yi’s lap fell to the floor. As we entered the residential area along the still unfamiliar road, the streetlights turned on. It was just a little past six, but it felt like the day was already over.

Even after the Porsche came to a complete stop in the garage, Han Jae-yi showed no signs of waking up. I waited a few more minutes after the automatic sensor on the ceiling turned off. Eventually, the silence stirred his consciousness. Han Jae-yi opened his eyes silently and looked at me.

“Are we already there?”

“We’ve been driving for two and a half hours, so of course.”

“Ah.”

He stretched as he raised his upper body. His descending arm naturally wrapped around my waist. Suddenly, he leaned in closer and quietly asked.

“Our wedding anniversary is in a week.”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to do?”

I didn’t understand why he brought this up right after waking up, but it seemed he was planning something.

“Well, it’s our first wedding anniversary, so I’m not sure.”

He chuckled softly at my awkward joke.

“Don’t you want a gift? You didn’t book a flight, did you?”

“No. You told me to keep it open.”

Since a month ago, he had asked me to keep my schedule clear for about four days starting from that day. At first, we talked about taking a trip somewhere nearby, but he was too busy to properly plan anything. As time passed, our anniversary was now just a week away. It was too late to make any reservations, so I thought we might just have a nice dinner somewhere and call it a day.

“It’s our first wedding anniversary. I want it to be special. What’s the number one thing on your bucket list?”

“Oh, but that seems impossible.”

He looked slightly flustered at my desire to cross the desert. But soon, his characteristic expression of ‘why not give it a try’ appeared.

No way.

“Let’s go. There’s no reason we can’t. I’ll look into it. I’ve been feeling bad that the plane I gifted you is rusting away in the hangar.”

The small aircraft he had given me was stored at the Oberpfaffenhofen Airport. I hadn’t used it even once since our honeymoon. Sometimes I made excuses about being busy, and other times I claimed it was too much trouble, missing opportunity after opportunity. It seemed that romance stopping the wheels of reality only happened in movies.

No, that’s what I thought.

“I’m saying let’s go. We can enter Morocco, go through Algeria and Tunisia, and then come back. We can stay near the airport for a day and sleep in the desert on our anniversary.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his grand plan. What was he thinking?

“How are we supposed to sleep there?”

“It’s a place where people live, so there must be glamping spots. Or we could bring our own tent. Why? Are you afraid of being caught by a sand gang?”

He pinched my cheek, treating me like a child.

“No, it’s just that getting there in the first place is realistically difficult. Are we supposed to fly the small plane to Morocco? We’d have to refuel along the way, and each time we’d need to get landing permission again, which would take almost a whole day.”