SHC Chapter 11

11. Wish to Escape

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While the circus was wrapping up, I was a bit out of my mind.

It was only natural; the chase through the forest had left a far stronger impact than this insane circus ever could. Even when Kiss hovered over me while we were propping up planks for a place to sleep and casually mentioned that there had been cannibalistic incidents two days in a row, I stood there with dulled senses as if trapped inside a thin film.

After putting up all the partitions, I turned to Kiss with a blank face.

” Cannibalistic incidents?”

” Ah, you didn’t know? Yeah. There’s something out there that only targets humans and eats them.”

But instead of looking shocked or frightened, Kiss looked slightly annoyed.

” It’s such a pain. Because of that, I keep getting accused. And of all times, it had to be during Part Two again.”

” Again during Part Two?”

” They think the incident happened while we were doing Part Two. Because Pink Bear apparently sent a human back out right before Part One ended.”

As I heard that they were supposed to guide humans to the exit when they appeared, I remembered Pink Bear, the one who had guided me not toward the exit yesterday, but back into the circus.

Why… did it? Did I not look human to it?

Probably so. With that face, yeah.

” Because of that, even though I finished all my work in Part One and was resting, I don’t have an alibi again.”

” But I was with you, Kiss!”

At that moment, a woman wearing Indian-style clothes with thick eyeliner suddenly cut in. She had a third eye on her forehead… Samnuni.

” Samnuni.”

TL/N: Idk what this is ngl I searched it, and nothing came up. I think she might look like some goddess or sor,t but i got no clue

This place really makes it easy to remember names.

Kiss brightened immediately and grabbed Samnuni’s hand, painted with red nail polish, shaking it. It was an incredibly friendly gesture.

” Then please put in a good word for me with the Ringmaster later. I think he suspects me, and it’s rough.”

” But you went out twice to get some fresh air, didn’t you? Once during the break, and once during Part Two. I don’t know about the break, but I can’t really cover for the one during Part Two, you know?”

Kiss pouted like a child and grumbled.

” It wasn’t even that long.”

The break and Part Two.

Listening from beside them, I tried to compare the time Part Two supposedly happened with the time I had been chased by something.

” Huh? Assistant Choi, why are you looking at me like that?”

Kiss’s handsome face shifted dramatically as he pretended to be flustered in a playful way. I slowly backed away and used the cloth Kiss had brought to cover the entrance. Draped over the planks, the cloth didn’t do much physically, but visually, it protected my space thoroughly.

” Don’t be like that. It hurts my feelings.”

Kiss even let go of Samnuni’s hand and lifted the curtain of my room, still talking to me.

” Everyone, attention!”

Then came a deep, heavy voice like an ancient tree. The air inside the tent, which was now a dorm rather than a stage, sank instantly.

” The seventh incident occurred today! Who doesn’t have an alibi since Part One ended?”

Kiss had been lifting my curtain, but he turned his head to look somewhere. His hand lowered, letting the curtain fall shut.

So this time, I pulled it aside first and peeked out. The Ringmaster was standing near the circus entrance.

He shouted,

” Anyone whose alibi doesn’t overlap with the first six incidents, raise your hand!”

His loud voice echoed through the wide interior, and I realized the ‘incident’ from yesterday was the same type of cannibalistic attack as today.

Two days in a row…

That meant one human was eaten per day.

I felt the blood drain from my face. Whatever had chased me earlier kept inhaling sharply, smelling me.

Was it trying to figure out whether I was human or not?

I bit my tongue lightly and stared at the Ringmaster.

The thought hit me that when he inhaled my breath yesterday, it wasn’t just a kiss; he had been erasing the human scent from me.

Of course, that was all just deduction, but he had explained it himself yesterday. At the time, it was impossible to believe him.

Ever since I saw Balbari, I had known something was seriously wrong with this place, but before that, I thought he was just a lunatic too deep into his circus persona.

But I actually did smell like a human to them.

If he hadn’t erased that scent…

Maybe that man-eater would have swallowed me without a second thought.

My body trembled on its own.

” Assistant Choi. What’s wrong? Are you scared?”

” Oh my, he looks scared. Must be because he’s new. Don’t worry. It only eats humans.”

That human is me.

” We do get punished for it… But at least we don’t get eaten like humans, so don’t shake so much.”

I am that human. The prey.

But Samnuni, unaware of what I was hiding, patted my back and muttered while looking at the Ringmaster, who was scowling harshly.

” The Ringmaster is out again today.”

And indeed, at someone’s call, he pushed his messy hair back and quickly disappeared outside.

” Off to the scene of the incident.”

Kiss giggled toward where the Ringmaster vanished, looking far too amused.

” Well then, let’s all go to sleep.”

He sent me in first, then disappeared with Samnuni into their own spaces.

Lying in the enclosed room, I looked up at the open ceiling. Today I was in the middle area, so I could see the peak of the tent.

I was exhausted, but there was no way I could sleep.

As I stared at the point where the red and yellow stripes of the circus tent converged, I recalled what had happened earlier.

Walking and feeding a fire-breathing dog felt laughably easy compared to the chase I had barely survived. It had happened so recently that the memory was still vivid enough to make me shudder again.

And despite it all, I was hungry.

The maddening thing was that no one here ate or used the bathroom. There wasn’t even a toilet, because no one consumed anything in the first place.

If they’re going to make me work, they could at least feed me.

But I couldn’t ask for food and expose myself as human. I curled up, imagining I’d be sitting next to Samdu tomorrow, eating whatever he eats.

Once all the chaotic shows and cleanup were over, and I finally had time to myself, no matter how hard I tried to think of something else, my mind always returned to the memory of being chased.

Huff, huff, those sounds of it desperately trying to catch my scent echoed in my mind.

I closed my eyes and pressed my palms over my eyelids.

The troupe members had nothing to fear; the creature only hunted humans. I didn’t know what kind of punishment they got because of it, but at least they didn’t seem frightened.

But I was different.

I was human, and apparently I still smelled faintly like one. That was why the man-eater had chased me, confused but determined.

I fiddled with my phone. It was nearly out of battery.

The last time I checked, it was 6:17 a.m., and with less than ten percent remaining, I slipped it into my pocket and cautiously went outside.

I kept my eyes glued to the circus tent and slowly walked counterclockwise, just as the Ringmaster had instructed. Before long, the shack where Samdu stayed came into view.

I knew which direction to go beyond that, the Ringmaster’s office, a container box. Its exterior was plain, but the inside was luxurious.

Wondering whether there was any progress on the man-eater investigation, I knocked on the door.

Tok tok…

” Ringmaster?”

But it was quiet inside.

Did he not return yet? Well, two incidents in a row would mean an emergency for the one in charge.

” What are you doing?”

” Ugh!”

A low voice behind me made my shoulders jump. The sensation of something chasing me at dawn resurfaced, and I turned around, trembling, without meaning to.

” …”

Caught between the office door and the Ringmaster, I wasn’t sure what expression I had, but it definitely wasn’t a relaxed one.

” Are you scared of me?”

He wouldn’t ask that unless I looked it.

” N-no. You just startled me.”

” Why are you here?”

He reached past me and grabbed the doorknob. The door opened inward, so stepping aside only pressed me closer to him, almost into his arms.

He smelled faintly cool.

A strange scent for such a hot early summer morning. And slightly metallic.

” Samdu’s food…”

” Twice a day is enough. Once at four, once at midnight. He doesn’t need breakfast.”

He answered while still holding the doorknob.

But, uh… aren’t we way too close? Your mouth feels like it’s right next to my ear.

” You.”

His lips seemed to brush my ear.

” You smell.”

And with that, he pushed me inside the office with his body.

I stumbled, and the door slammed behind him as I grabbed his arm for balance.

” …”

I quietly looked up at him.

He said I smelled, right to my face, and yet I couldn’t even open my mouth to respond.

The Ringmaster’s face drew closer. I instinctively pushed at his arm a little, but it did nothing.

Lowering his head toward me, he brought his nose to my hair, my ear, my neck, sniffing. It wasn’t hard to tell that what he sensed wasn’t sweat or skin, but the scent of a human. And knowing that, I understood what he was about to do next, so I stood still and waited for him to speak first.

” It’s only been a day, and you’re already smelling like a human again.”

His voice was even lazier than before, making him sound tired.

He probably was.

Then he stroked my cheek with his thumb and held my neck.

” You know what to do, right?”

As I hesitated on whether to answer, our eyes met, and he leaned toward me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

With my sight blocked, every nerve focused on my lips. I could feel someone else’s breath brushing over them.

Something brushed against me lightly, so soft it felt like wind.

The Ringmaster’s lips.

” Open your mouth.”

He spoke while touching my lips, and I shivered like a trembling leaf as I obeyed. Still against my mouth, he let out a faint laugh and spoke again.

” Do you think something’s going to eat you?”

Then he tilted his head and pressed his lips fully against mine with no space at all.

My body trembled against my will, and he slowly stroked my back as he began to draw in my breath at an unhurried pace.

It was much gentler than what he had done yesterday, and that somehow made me even more unsure of what to do. I let go of his arm and instead clutched his clothes tightly, as if wringing them.

Even if he was less rough than yesterday, I still struggled to breathe, and a whining sound slipped out of my nose.

He pulled back just enough to touch under my chin with the thumb that had been cupping my cheek, gently brushing the spot right beneath my lips.

” Right. If you can’t breathe, you’ll die.”

His tone made it sound like he had only just realized that, and I almost looked up at him in disbelief. But before my eyes even fully opened, I felt his lips press against mine again and shut them tight.

This time, though, he sucked for a few seconds, then pulled away. Then again, he leaned in, sucked for a few seconds, and pulled away.

I wasn’t hoping for the intense version from yesterday, but this light brushing in and out felt… strange. Too strange.

” Um, excuse me.”

I called him during the brief moment his lips were off mine. He stopped and waited for me. I hesitated before opening my eyes a little, only to see him right there, staring at me from an extremely close distance.

My heart dropped straight down.

Thinking about it, it was natural to feel odd kissing a man like this, pressing lips together and pulling apart repeatedly.

I never imagined the day would come when I’d be kissing a man.

At least the Ringmaster was extremely handsome.

There were lots of flashy looks and costumes in the circus, but only a few members stood out as truly beautiful.

There was the beautiful magician, Kiss, and the Ringmaster himself.

Even with only one eye, he looked like this; how much more striking would he be with both?

Each of them was attractive in their own distinct way. The magician had delicate yet sharp lines, Kiss was ornate and graceful, and the Ringmaster… well, he simply looked strong at first glance.

While I stayed silent after calling him, the Ringmaster urged me.

” If you called me, speak.”

Even without frowning, even with a blank expression, he looked like he could twist someone’s neck if they annoyed him.

Still, remembering that he was helping me, I cautiously asked,

” Why do you keep stopping and starting?”

” So you can breathe.”

He seemed to think that answer was sufficient, because he leaned in again. This time, I was caught with my eyes open. I saw his slightly lowered black eyelashes, longer than I expected, and missed the timing to close my eyes as I parted my lips. But even then, tension kept my mouth stiff.

His hair slid down across his face with a soft rustling sound, brushing against my cheek.

Even as my breath was being drawn out of me, I swallowed reflexively at the ticklish sensation of his hair.

Maybe he sensed it, because his fan-like lashes twitched upward, and I quickly shut my eyes. A moment later, his lips left mine, and I finally inhaled.

After that, his lips met mine and parted again several more times.

My body gradually got used to the contact itself, and my tension loosened until there was no stiffness left in my mouth.

It must have been at least twenty times.

As his lips touched mine again, I inhaled and prepared myself. While my breath was slowly drawn out of me, warmth spread through my body, centered in my lower abdomen.

My temperature rose. It was a heat mixed with desire.

The moment I realized it, a chill went down my spine.

Why on earth was I reacting like this just from kissing the Ringmaster?

As his lips withdrew, I furrowed my brows. Had I finally lost my mind?

” That should do it.”

While I was momentarily out of it, he inhaled deeply near me and immediately stepped away.

I heard his shoes brushing past me as he walked to his desk. Finally realizing the kiss was over, I opened my eyes, bowed my head, and covered my mouth with one hand. My wide-open eyes trembled without even blinking.

Was I… actually aroused just now?

” If even my nose can’t detect it anymore, the others definitely won’t.”

” …”

” My sense of smell is the best here.”

” …”

” But don’t ever walk around alone. You know what that means, right?”

” …”

When I didn’t answer, he raised his voice.

” Watch out for the man-eater.”

The man-eater.

That snapped me back to reality. I lowered my hand and asked the Ringmaster behind me,

” You knew I was human, didn’t you?”

He didn’t answer right away. And the words he finally spoke jabbed at my nerves.

” Are you only realizing that now?”

When I slowly turned around, he was looking at me with a baffled expression, similar to how he looked at me on stage yesterday.

” Yes. I knew from the beginning that you were human. And I never hid it from you.”

He even shook his head like he truly couldn’t believe me and sighed.

” Your awareness is beyond low.”

Beyond low? I only asked to confirm… I had already figured it out.

But since I dismissed his earlier words and behavior as circus theatrics, I couldn’t really argue back.

Either way, after confirming that the kiss really was to erase my human scent, I felt the heat that had gathered in me cool down.

The Ringmaster added to me as I kept my mouth shut.

” Since we never know when you might smell human again, come to me often so I can check your scent.”

Embarrassed by his words, I lowered my head and sniffed the back of my own hand.

” What exactly is the human smell? Is it strong?”

” No, it’s very faint. I absorbed so much of it that there’s barely any left.”

Well… that was true.

” Even earlier, you wouldn’t have noticed it unless you had a very sharp sense of smell. The problem is that the man-eater seems to have a rather developed sense of smell.”

I nodded.

” Make sure no one gets too close to you.”

” Huh?”

How was that supposed to work? I was an assistant.

” You’ve run into dogs before while walking, right?”

What kind of topic shift was that?

I blinked and kept listening.

” When you pass by a dog, do you smell it instantly? No… You only smell it when you stay close enough. Same for you. The closer someone is, the easier it is to smell your scent.”

Listening to him, I realized the Ringmaster was explaining something even grade schoolers knew, complete with examples.

” It’s called diffusion. The farther you are from the source, the weaker the smell. So keeping distance is best.”

” Ah… yes. I see. But I do know that much.”

” Just making sure. Now get out.”

I bowed politely and stepped out of the office.

Before closing the door, I remembered the reason I came here in the first place and stuck my head back in.

” Ringmaster!”

” What?”

Ignoring the annoyance all over his face, I asked,

” Did you find any clues about the man-eater?”

I hoped he would catch it while I was still here, so I could live even one day without worrying.

But the Ringmaster gave the sourest expression I’d seen yet and snapped irritably,

” There are too many clues. There are nine suspects. All circus members.”

I regretted asking. His answer only made me more uncomfortable.

” So keep your head down and be careful. Understand? Don’t go near anyone, and don’t let anyone come near you.”

” …Yes.”

I obediently closed the door and went into the shack where Samdu lived. Having seen me a few times now, Red and Blue acknowledged me as usual. Yellow pretended not to notice, but with Samdu’s tail wagging hard, it made me feel like he was welcoming me.

” Hey. But I don’t have any food.”

I showed my empty hands, then settled in the corner of the shack, burying my face and letting out a long sigh.

Normally, I would’ve gone back into the circus dorm, but hearing there were nine suspects made it impossible to take a single step that way.

There were no pillows or blankets anywhere anyway, so I figured sleeping next to Samdu was better and curled up on the floor.

I want to escape.

Seriously, not joking, if something like today happens even once more, I’ll run for my life no matter what.