SHC Chapter 23

23. A Normal Day

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My eyes felt gritty and dry. Wanting to sleep but not being able to was practically torture.

‘It’s already noon…’

Thinking of Samdu, who was probably hungry by now, I couldn’t stay lying down any longer. When I finally got up, my body drooped completely. Even like this, I couldn’t fall asleep because my mind was too cluttered.

‘And the man-eater too.’

Unlike when I was with Kiss, the ringmaster, or Pink, the moment I stepped into my room alone, anxiety swallowed me whole. No matter how safe the location was, the trauma of being chased clung to my back no matter how much I tried to turn away.

On top of that, the increasing frequency of incidents made me wonder if it might be happening because of me, which planted guilt as well.

And ironically, instead of worrying about the person who might have been attacked by the man-eater last night, I was more worried about what might happen to me. Someone had probably died after tasting extreme terror.

And that wasn’t all.

Pink crying yesterday, Kiss doing nothing but suspicious things, the ringmaster…

I shook my head and started walking.

‘Why am I sleepier walking than I was lying down?’

Steadying my wavering body, I arrived at the office. On the table in front of the sofa sat a container full of food. I picked up the tub of sweet baby food and headed for the shed. The contents sloshed inside.

‘It’s hot here, too.’

The sun was beating down outside.

When I thought of Russia, I always imagined cold weather, but here, the sun was as hot as in Korea.

‘Maybe it’s geographically not far from home. Ah, I should ask how I’m supposed to get back to Korea once my contract ends.’

At this point, the number of days left to work was fewer than the days I had already worked.

Thinking about that made me want to go home even more.

With my vision blurry, I shut my eyes tightly, then opened them and exhaled deeply.

‘I want my phone. I want to play games. I miss my mom. I want fried chicken. And beer.’

Lost in thought as I walked, droplets of Samdu’s food fell behind me, leaving a long trail. It reminded me of that story where Hansel and Gretel marked their way home using food.

“Samdu.”

When I stepped into the shed, Blue greeted me first. With Red still asleep, Blue panted happily with what looked like a smiling face.

Even with his plain white eyes, I could clearly feel his affection toward me.

“It’s time to eat. Let’s eat, rest a little, then go for a walk?”

“Woof! Woof!”

Blue’s barking woke Red, who began barking too. Yellow shook his head vigorously as if fed up with the two loud siblings beside him.

“Alright, alright, food time, food time.”

I brought over three bowls at once and stood in front of the pen. That’s when I saw Red, excitedly shaking his head, hit his snout hard against the ceiling that reached up to my upper abdomen.

…That must hurt.

Without making a sound, Red twisted his neck with his mouth slightly open, then dropped his nose to the floor and whimpered softly.

I quickly set the bowls down, opened the pen, and gently touched Red’s snout. It had grown longer, no longer short and stubby like that of a puppy.

And the teeth peeking through had grown longer and looked sturdier.

For him to bump his snout that hard just from shaking his head in excitement…

“Has it even been that long since we changed your pen?”

He had grown again.

Even though this pen was only slightly larger than the previous one, and Samdu had to twist his body to reach the ceiling, seeing him bump into it like that made me want to move him to a bigger pen.

‘I was told I could handle pen changes myself.’

There was a slightly larger pen right next to this one, so I decided to switch him after the walk. For now, I guided Red’s licking snout toward his bowl.

“Let’s eat.”

Yellow and Blue were already eating, and Red immediately began eating as well.

Watching their strengthened jaws and sturdier-looking teeth, I really did feel it was time to start weaning them off baby food.

‘I should talk to the ringmaster later.’

There was a lot I needed to talk to him about.

And I was also curious about the man-eater from yesterday. Especially since I was among the humans who could become its target.

“I’ll come back later, keep eating.”

After refilling their bowls once more, I stood and returned to the quarters.

Only then did I wash up lightly and head to the dining hall for a late meal.

‘Ah, this is bad.’

Now the drowsiness hit me. But thinking of Samdu waiting for his walk, I couldn’t allow myself to sleep.

As soon as I finished washing the dishes in the sink, I splashed water on my face.

‘Let’s go.’

Maybe it was because I slept so much yesterday that I could at least function this much.

And since I had slept deeply without waking, it was different from the usual nights where I slept and woke repeatedly and ended up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all…

So why was I still this tired?

“Let’s go for a walk.”

First, I strapped on Samdu’s red harness. In the beginning, I used three separate leashes for his three necks, but when I told the ringmaster that it was impossible to control all three, he replaced them with a harness.

“Argh!”

Not that it helped much, since Samdu had only gotten stronger and simply dragged me around.

Whether there was magic weakening his strength or not, I was still dragged helplessly. When he ran, he ran like crazy. When he suddenly stopped to sniff at everything, I stood there blankly waiting. And when he suddenly bolted again, I chased after him.

‘This is practically interval training.’

Running, stopping, running, walking, sprinting, stopping.

I had gotten used to it, but in the beginning, one walk completely drained me. I had thought walking a dog just meant strolling a bit and being done.

After rummaging around everywhere, Samdu stuck his nose toward the forest and sniffed before finally marking his territory.

Then he kicked up dirt with his hind legs, rolled around for a long while, and got up to run again. Chasing after him with all I had, sweat soaked down my back.

Thankfully, my stamina wasn’t lacking, but the heat was unbearable.

“Aren’t you hot? Let’s go to the shade, to the shade.”

I pulled the leash and guided him toward the shade beside the tent.

Samdu always moved lightly and calmly near the circus tent and the container box where the ringmaster stayed.

But Samdu jerked his head as if saying he didn’t care at all, then dashed toward wherever he wanted.

Straight into the bushes.

Well…

On the first day after moving to a new place, he had always been like that, so I decided to just give up.

It wasn’t like I was going into the forest with him anyway.

“Woof?”

But then Samdu suddenly made a strange sound and stopped moving. Then he stared fixedly at something. All three heads perked their ears sharply, focusing intently. His tail swayed slowly, then began whipping back and forth with energy.

Rustle.

The bushes shook, and from between the trees, the ringmaster walked out.

Watching Samdu’s back as he wagged his tail fiercely in excitement, I called him.

“Ringmaster?”

He approached me with a face that looked like he wasn’t even surprised to meet me, almost as if he already knew I was here.

“Walking?”

“Ah, yes.”

I held up the leash as I answered. The ringmaster glanced between the forest he’d come from and me, then pulled me toward the circus.

“Don’t go near the forest. Walk here instead.”

The walking route wasn’t up to me. I glanced at Samdu. Red looked at me as if asking, “Huh? Why?” Yellow avoided my gaze slightly. Blue lifted his eyes toward me with a sheepish expression, as if he wasn’t completely clueless.

“Okay.”

Using Samdu as an excuse would be silly. They looked so obviously guilty.

How was I supposed to claim Samdu wandered into the forest by himself?

“…?”

Then a suspicion I’d had yesterday surged again. And this time, I asked immediately.

“Do you guys understand speech?”

Dogs understanding human speech wasn’t the issue, but already? They clearly reacted like they understood the situation.

Samdu stared up at me with three faces that all said, “What?”

“Since when?”

“Cerberus are naturally intelligent.”

The ringmaster answered for them.

“They have strong cognitive ability. Their vision and hearing are well distinguished, so they recognize faces and voices well. Perfect for guarding.”

Maybe thinking he was being praised, Samdu wagged his tail softly, offering his heads to the ringmaster. Blue licked the ringmaster’s hand, Red panted with his tongue out. Yellow glanced at me first, then at the ringmaster, then at me again like he didn’t understand why I looked that way, before finally rubbing his head against the ringmaster affectionately.

I watched Samdu fawn over the ringmaster like a cat discovering catnip. It was fascinating.

And honestly, I was a little jealous.

I’m the one who feeds him, you know. This is making me jealous.

“They finished learning their own species’ language a week ago, so now they’ll understand the surrounding language to some extent.”

Their own species? Oh… dog language.

“Ringmaster, you really don’t seem to not know anything. Even though I see them every day, I had no idea Samdu could understand language now. Especially dog language, I’d have no way of knowing.”

“…Well then.”

Ignoring my small complaint, the ringmaster turned to leave. But Yellow stopped him.

I jumped when I saw Yellow grab the ringmaster’s coat with his teeth.

But the ringmaster’s face was unusually gentle.

“Why?”

Yellow, still holding the coat hem in his mouth, let out a muffled wail. For a reason I didn’t understand, the ringmaster sighed and walked back.

“I’ll take him for today’s walk.”

Then he took the leash from my hand.

Oh? Well then… thanks.

Now I could go rest…

“…Yellow?”

But then Yellow grabbed my clothes.

The same Yellow who had made that cute little wail toward the ringmaster was now growling at me: a low rumble that clearly meant, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“…”

What’s with him? Did I do something wrong?

Frozen in confusion, I listened as the ringmaster explained.

“He wants to walk with you too. He doesn’t want you to leave.”

“Ah…”

Only then did Yellow let go of my clothes, snort once, and start walking slowly.

His steps were dignified, completely different from earlier when he walked with me.

Not just Yellow, but Red and Blue also held their heads high with the disciplined posture of trained guard dogs.

They really were choosing favorites.

But considering the ringmaster was their original handler, it wasn’t strange. He must’ve been the first person they grew attached to when they arrived here.

Samdu seemed happy to be walking with the ringmaster again after a while. Red even barked shortly at a butterfly he would normally ignore.

What did that mean?

This time Blue barked. Then Yellow made a small sound too, and my curiosity grew.

What were they saying?

I imagined the three heads talking in dog language I couldn’t understand. Probably things like, “I’m hungry,” “I want to walk,” “I’ll burn everything,” that kind of thing. Sort of noisy, sort of cute.

“I’m a little jealous.”

“What for?”

That must have sounded incredibly sudden.

I gave an awkward little laugh and answered.

“Understanding what Samdu says. Samdu understands me, but I can’t understand what he says.”

At that point, the ringmaster made a thoughtful noise. Samdu, on the other hand, went quiet.

“Still, I never thought you could talk with a dog, Ringmaster.”

As I was wrapping up the conversation, the ringmaster suddenly asked back:

“Do? Who else are you talking about besides me?”

“Ah… Kiss.”

I answered cautiously, and the ringmaster, who had been adjusting Samdu’s harness, let out a small snort of laughter.

“He does? He can talk to dogs?”

“I heard they got into lots of fights.”

“I can imagine.”

He brushed the leash lightly with his thumb.

Watching his fingers, I added casually:

“So he learned while fighting? Sounds like he was arguing with a dog or something.”

The image of Kiss arguing with a dog was strange, but because it was him, it weirdly fit.

But the ringmaster denied it.

“Arguing? Not quite.”

Then he continued with something I didn’t even ask:

“It’s because he got badly beaten by a dog in the past. I only heard it as a rumor though.”

“Kiss?”

“Yeah. I heard he almost died.”

That was unexpected. I did feel a little bad for him. How did he end up almost getting killed by a dog?

Ah… did that mean before he died?

“Well, thanks to that, from the moment he got here, …he hated dogs.”

“I see… What even happened?”

The ringmaster let out a thoughtful hum, then the corner of his lips lifted slightly. He looked like he was enjoying this.

“It was back when he caused trouble and got punished. Kiss, full of spite, tried to mess with the dog owned by the person who’d punished him, and got wrecked instead.”

Wow. Suddenly didn’t feel bad for him at all. He’d gotten hurt because he took out his anger on an innocent pet.

“And because of that, he hates dogs, especially Cerberus the most.”

One of Samdu’s heads growled from in front of us. I couldn’t tell which one from behind.

“Why?”

“Because that dog was a purebred Cerberus.”

“It was a Cerberus?”

I was shocked. He almost died? But then… how did he meet a Cerberus when he was alive…? Oh, right. The ringmaster and Kiss have real bodies here.

Which means they encountered a Cerberus while alive… and they are among the few beings in Small Hell with actual physical forms…

Before my thoughts went further, I stopped myself. Luckily the ringmaster’s voice snapped me out of it.

That was something better not known.

“I heard the flames that dog breathed scorched him pure black and he suffered for days. So he still hates fire too. Foolish man.”

He hates fire? What was Kiss like when Samdu breathed fire? Surprised? Scared?

He looked normal though.

I glanced at the ringmaster and asked:

“So… what crime did he commit?”

Only then did the ringmaster look at me. Our eyes met.

“Why curious? Interested in him?”

“No, not interested. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Prying further felt bad for my mental health. But the ringmaster casually brought up the very thing I wanted to avoid.

“A sin serious enough to get a demon kicked out of Hell. Better not get involved.”

I should not have heard that.

The ringmaster had dragged out the suspicion I was desperately ignoring, and I clutched my head in frustration.

A demon.

The ringmaster looked slightly surprised.

“…You didn’t know?”

“More like…”

“Like what?”

Both he and Samdu had stopped walking and were staring at me as I suffered.

“I didn’t want to know.”

I glared faintly at his right eye, the one turned fully toward me.

“Why not?”

“…”

I couldn’t answer. That was something I didn’t want to tell the ringmaster.

But he let out a soft laugh at my silence.

“So you avoided it?”

He was right. The object was missing from the sentence, but the conclusion was correct.

“Fine. Then it can’t be helped.”

And just like that, he accepted it casually and began walking again. I saw Samdu walk slowly ahead and hurried to follow.

“I thought you sold off all your intuition.”

Then he murmured very quietly:

“So that was the reason.”

“What was that?”

I didn’t hear properly, so I asked again. The ringmaster pointed at Samdu with his chin.

“What’s his species?”

“Cerberus.”

“And where are we?”

“The circus… Small Hell Circus.”

“Meaning?”

“Small Hell.”

“And what do you think the assistant ringmaster, Kiss, is?”

At that point, something inside my head buzzed and numbed me into silence.

“…”

This wasn’t kindergarten math.

“Answer.”

“…He’s a demon.”

“Right. Correct.”

Then he placed his left hand on top of my head.

“Good job.”

“Wait, what is this? Why are you putting your hand on my head? I’m not a kid!”

I shook my head in surprise, and his hand slid off. Maybe because my voice was too loud, Samdu turned his heads sharply to check behind us.

Embarrassed by my own outburst and the pounding in my chest, I asked:

“Th-then is it okay to just tell me things like this? Who’s a demon and who’s what?”

“It’s not a secret. Everyone probably knows except you.”

“…”

“It’s not strange for demons to be in Hell in the first place.”

The conductor and the other members always watched Kiss cautiously. Not simply because he was the assistant ringmaster, but because unlike themselves, who were practically prisoners, he was a demon.

But the one they feared the most wasn’t Kiss.

It was the ringmaster.

Which meant…

‘The ringmaster must be a demon too.’

Otherwise how could he be the ringmaster of Small Hell?

In the end, I ended up thinking the exact thing I had been avoiding to the very last moment.

The thing I was running from was his identity.

‘The ringmaster is a demon.’

Our first meeting was terrible, sure, but he’d taken care of me pretty well afterward. He was secretly kind.

‘But he’s a demon!’

Faced with a fact that was practically confirmed, I rubbed my forehead and eyes with my palms.

I forced down the countless questions and suspicions rising inside me.

To survive here, I needed to let go a little and tuck my rationality away.

Hell and demons. Demons and Hell. A perfect match. Of course I should’ve thought of it earlier.

I lowered my hand from my face and called him.

“Ringmaster.”

“Why? You want me to tell you who I am now?”

“No. I’m done with that.”

Honestly, I never wanted to hear him say with his own mouth that he was a demon.

So I wet my lips with my tongue and changed the subject immediately.

“About Samdu.”

Ahead of us, Samdu, who had been pretending he heard nothing, snapped his heads around. He looked right at me as if asking if we were talking about him.

“Isn’t it about time to stop feeding him baby food and switch to normal food?”

At that moment, Samdu’s slightly nervous tail began wagging like crazy. The tail smacked repeatedly against the ringmaster’s upper thigh, right near his hip, where he’d been frowning.

“See? He likes the idea.”

“Watch where you’re hitting.”

The ringmaster stepped back, annoyed, and Samdu quickly shuffled forward until the leash went taut.

The ringmaster glanced at the spot where Samdu’s tail had hit him, then looked at me.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Even if I hear it…”

The moment I got that far, the ringmaster clicked his tongue, then gave the answer that showed he agreed to what I’d asked earlier.

“Fine. I’ll prepare food he can chew from now on.”

He seemed slightly irritated. In contrast, Samdu in front of us was practically bursting with happiness, his tail spinning like a propeller.

I watched nervously and continued.

“And also…”

“What now.”

“I was thinking of changing his pen. That’s okay, right? You said I could handle things like that.”

The ringmaster didn’t answer verbally, just nodded once. He kept walking quickly, his pace different from mine, forcing me to take faster steps to keep up.

“Can I ask one more thing?”

“You can.”

He never said no.

“About Pink yesterday…”

“If it’s that, I won’t answer. That’s Pink Bear’s personal matter.”

What was that? Why so defensive all of a sudden?

And how did he know what I was going to ask?

“Alright.”

But I backed down quietly.

Because I remembered what the ringmaster said before, not to pry into personal things. And my question fell into that category.

Still feeling a little wronged, I added a small excuse:

“But I wasn’t going to ask what happened to Pink yesterday.”

I was going to ask how good her English was.

“Then what?”

“A personal curiosity.”

I answered in a tone implying he shouldn’t pry either. The ringmaster let out a short, incredulous laugh, then unexpectedly wiped the sweat running down my neck with his thumb.

“!”

At the sudden touch, my heart flew straight into the sky. I jumped back, startled, and the ringmaster shrugged.

“Shall we head back?”

Now that I thought about it, it was about time the walk would normally end.

I hurriedly wiped the sweat from my neck and jaw and answered loudly:

“Oh, then would you like to go back first? I’ll walk Samdu a bit longer. I told him I’d walk him longer today since I couldn’t yesterday. Here, give me the leash.”

But the ringmaster ignored my outstretched hand and kept walking with Samdu himself, as if he fully intended to finish the walk alone.

Seeing that, I hurried after him.

“Um, Ringmaster.”

“What.”

“Can I ask another question?”

“I said you can.”

He really was generous with answers. Maybe he only refused personal ones.

“Yesterday, the man-eater appeared, right?”

“Be careful.”

He was… worried about me? I bit my lower lip once and nodded.

“Thank you.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“…?”

The ringmaster grabbed my right arm tightly and pulled me toward him. My body swayed, leaning into him, and in that moment, his lips touched my ear.

The fine hairs on my cheek stood up around the point of contact.

Through the sensitivity of my ear, I could feel the ringmaster’s lips parting. Then came his breath, and his voice.

“Samdu can understand human speech now. Watch what you say.”

Even after his lips left my ear, it took a moment for the meaning of his words to catch up.

Ah. Right. I’d forgotten.

At this moment, I was someone who absolutely could not let even Samdu find out I was human.

So I glanced at the back of Samdu’s heads, then leaned close to the ringmaster’s ear. He bent down slightly to make it easier for me to whisper.

“He… he can’t find out, right?”

“Of course not. He might not know now, but later, who knows what will happen.”

Whispering again into my ear, the ringmaster finally released my arm.

All three of Samdu’s ears twitched restlessly, as if he knew we were whispering behind his back. But only Red hesitated and glanced back once; Yellow and Blue stared straight ahead, as if pretending, ‘Didn’t hear, don’t know, can’t hear anything.’

All just my assumptions, of course.

After that, we walked around the circus twice more before returning Samdu to his pen. He whined as if he didn’t want to stop. He had grown so much that he couldn’t even fit into his first pen anymore. The speed at which he grew was obvious, it was definitely fast.

“Ringmaster, does he always grow this quickly?”

“Cerberus usually grows up within one or two months.”

One or two months. Compared to normal dogs, that growth rate was insane.

“And since he’s a purebred, he’ll grow even faster. By the time you leave, he’ll probably be full-grown.”

“What?”

“Because it’s a remembered body.”

Sigh… what was that supposed to mean? I’d suffered enough from his incomplete explanations already.

“You know I can’t understand when you say it like that.”

The ringmaster raised his eyebrows once and lowered them. He filled Samdu’s bowls with water, then straightened his back.

Looking down at the three heads eagerly lapping up water, he spoke.

“A purebred Cerberus doesn’t usually mate to have offspring. When the body becomes worn and its functions decline, just before death, it conceives and gives birth on its own.”

“On its own?”

“Yes.”

Hermaphrodite…? Something like that?

Confused, I stared at Samdu. I’d never touched his belly or washed him myself before, so I’d never checked anything.

“So does he… have both?”

“…”

The ringmaster froze mid-sentence, mouth slightly open. Then, frowning, he continued.

“That’s what you’re curious about?”

At his question, I clicked my tongue softly, then noticed Yellow glowering at me too.

“Sorry.”

I quickly apologized before he could breathe fire, then turned back to the ringmaster.

“Anyway, so then?”

“…In that case, he’s born with the same physical body and inherits a small amount of memory. Because of those subconscious memories, he learns quickly and can be put to work as soon as he becomes an adult. You could call it a form of self-replication.”

The ringmaster slowly walked toward the shed’s exit. I followed, then glanced back unintentionally. Samdu had stopped drinking water and all three heads were watching us with calm, complicated white eyes.

I turned back and walked toward the container alongside the ringmaster.

As soon as our shoulders lined up, the ringmaster continued where he left off.

“In most cases, because they lose their memories and strength and revert to a helpless infant, they only replicate when they have an owner or friend to care for them. But Samdu was found alone. Since early experiences are important, he was sent to me… but with everything happening lately, I ended up leaving him with you.”

His voice faded near the end. Then he pressed his lips together and opened them again slowly.

And with a tone that was gentle but firm, he warned me:

“So don’t get too attached.”

Turning toward me as he opened the door, his blue eyes looked bright yet subdued.

“It’s harder for the one left behind.”

He held the door open for me until I walked inside.

Left behind…? Was the ringmaster worried about Samdu too?

I stepped over the threshold into the office, meeting his gaze.

‘The one left behind.’

And in the brief instant before both my feet fully crossed into the room, nausea hit me out of nowhere.

My head spun, my stomach churned, not just from lack of rest. It felt like something awkward, unnecessary, and bothersome was clinging to all my limbs.

Something was binding me, restricting me, holding me back.

My head felt heavy, like an icy awl was pressing into its center.

“Assistant?”

The ringmaster’s voice snapped me back immediately. I flinched and looked at him. He studied my expression carefully and asked:

“Are you hungry?”

“…No.”

I let out a laugh because it was so absurd.

Was I hungry?

With my head now clear again, I finally responded to what the ringmaster had been saying earlier.

“Yeah… for a lot of reasons, I really shouldn’t let Samdu find out I’m human. I need to be careful.”

Then I added:

“But, Ringmaster… dogs have really strong senses of smell.”

Just that one sentence made the ringmaster’s eye twitch faintly. He clearly understood the meaning behind my words instantly. But he didn’t avoid me. He continued to face me head-on.

Meanwhile, I was the one who dropped my gaze to the floor and bit my lip, trying to avoid his eyes. Honestly, saying this was embarrassing.

But I had to.

“Do I… smell like a human?”

But despite my determination, my voice came out even smaller than before. Still, in the quiet office, it was more than loud enough for him to hear.

The ringmaster didn’t answer.

Why wasn’t he saying anything?

A few seconds passed, and unable to stand the silence, I rolled my eyes upward just enough to check his expression. He was still staring directly at me.

I glanced at his tightly closed mouth and continued speaking.

“By now… it probably does, right?”

The moment I said that, the ringmaster’s hand settled on my shoulder.

“Yeah. You do.”

He tilted his head slightly to the right as he spoke.

“But at this level, no one will notice unless they come very close.”

The angle of his tilted head was just right for a kiss, and I swallowed without meaning to.

“Even so, you still want to do it?”

“…”

He was giving me the choice.

Even if I seemed fine now, the truth was that I’d spent the entire night tormented by fear, fear of the man-eater, fear of being discovered, fear of Kiss and the other circus members. I hadn’t slept at all.

Honestly…

“Yes. Please do it.”

It was better to erase the human scent completely.

And with a feeling of, Whatever, I don’t care anymore, I looked straight into the ringmaster’s eyes and stepped closer to him. The already small distance between us vanished instantly because he was holding my shoulder. I raised my head, aligning myself with him, and awkwardly grabbed the front of his coat.

The ringmaster watched me with an unreadable expression, then lowered his head.

Our lips hovered dangerously close, barely not touching, when he spoke:

“Close your eyes.”

I was already at my limit.

The moment he said it, I shut my eyes to escape his gaze, and then our lips met.

TL/N: OH GOD!!! Please have sex now im dyingggg