SHC Chapter 27

27. Once Again

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I felt like my feet weren’t touching the ground.

My stomach kept churning.

Maybe the food I ate wasn’t sitting right, but the heaviness in my chest and belly kept rolling around. And it got worse every time I thought about the ringmaster.

It won’t go away.

Of course, I had a guess about why. But that only made it more frustrating.

If my guess was even slightly right, then the worst possible ending awaited me. That’s why I didn’t want to acknowledge it at all.

I’m going to leave soon anyway…

Wasn’t he the one who told me not to get attached to Samdu? He was the one who always pushed me to keep my distance. Yet he kept asking me about myself, like some awkward relative trying to get closer by force, except honestly, what I felt was way stronger than anything I ever felt when a relative gave me pocket money.

Am I going insane? Why?

I didn’t even know why I was like this. When did this start? How did this happen without me noticing?

They say if you see someone often and your skin touches, you start getting attached… maybe it was something like that.

My head was a tangled mess like a knotted ball of yarn.

So I started worrying about how I was supposed to act normal during the deodorizing work we’d be doing later. Until yesterday, it was just my body reacting a bit, and I was able to handle it. But suddenly today the ringmaster hit me all at once.

It was so sudden and overwhelming that it felt like running into a lion on the street.

I couldn’t even understand why his voice from earlier, saying congratulations, kept echoing in my ears.

He wasn’t even here, yet it felt like he was pressing his lips right up against my ear, whispering. My ear tickled so much that I scrubbed it hard with my palm as I stepped into the shack. Then I made eye contact with Samdu, who was scratching Red’s ear furiously with his back leg.

“Oh.”

I stopped rubbing my ear instantly, everything else getting shoved aside.

But Samdu had already seen me scratching my ear the exact same way, and he started panting and scratching his ear with his front paw like a hand.

Seriously.

“Are you teasing me again?”

“Woof, woof!”

I had no idea what he was saying, but he looked happy. His tail was wagging wildly.

I relaxed my shoulders and took out the harness.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

At that one sentence, Samdu barked happily and spun inside the cage, and I couldn’t help but snort a laugh.

Dogs really are dogs.

It must feel great, honestly. If I were trapped all day and someone let me out once a day, I’d be thrilled too.

As I opened the cage and strapped the thick harness onto Samdu’s huge body, big enough that holding him in my arms was impossible, I couldn’t help wondering what the point of it even was. Even with magic on my side, Samdu was bigger than a fully grown bull. If he wanted to run, he could drag me like a ragdoll.

He already had, too.

And yet, he stayed perfectly still while I put the harness on him. Not even one step out of place. It made it clear, he was going easy on me.

“Your ear itchy?”

As soon as I finished buckling the harness, Samdu lifted his back leg and scratched behind Red’s ear with a strong kick. I reached out and rubbed the ear for him. Red’s mouth opened into a happy pant.

“……”

Then a thought brushed by.

Have they ever been washed?

Do dogs even take baths? Do only house pets take baths? Or do I need to give them some kind of sand bath?

I rubbed Red’s ear with both hands, falling into thought.

Baths.

Baths, huh.

I should ask the ringmaster later. I’ve never raised a dog, so I have no clue.

“Feels good?”

“Woof!”

I lowered my hand and started heading for the exit, when suddenly something grabbed my hair.

“?”

What the…?

I reached back and felt something wet, so I grabbed the spot and turned around. It was Yellow’s nose.

“Don’t tell me you bit my hair?”

“Grr.”

Yellow looked away, then pushed his head toward me.

“You want… scratches?”

“……”

He didn’t answer, but I started scratching his ear anyway, and Yellow’s eyes slowly closed.

So that was it.

And after I finished, Blue subtly pushed his muzzle between me and Yellow, showing off.

“You too? Yeah, yeah.”

I couldn’t leave one out and hurt his feelings.

It must’ve taken nearly fifteen minutes just to scratch all of them. When I finally lowered my tired arms and gently tapped them, Samdu glanced sideways at me.

“Hey, it’s our travel day. The walk time is tight, and we already lost fifteen minutes. Let’s go.”

Samdu, who had been rubbing his head against me affectionately, suddenly panicked and bolted out of the shack like a racehorse.

“Whoa…!”

Once again, I was dragged out behind him, forced into a sprint to keep up with his light jog.

My arm’s going to fall off.

“You’re too fast!”

I was somehow keeping up while panting like crazy, but seriously, this was too much.

Samdu might’ve been going slowly from his perspective, but from mine it was torture. It didn’t feel like I was walking him, it felt like he was walking me.

Samdu finally stopped and looked back at me, my hair blown into a mess by the wind. He wandered nearby, nose pressed to the ground as he sniffed around. I took the chance to rest, hands on my hips, catching my breath.

Walking several laps around the circus perimeter was the entire walk routine. It used to be enough, but these past few days Samdu seemed a bit bored.

It’s not even the same place… maybe it just feels too similar?

On our third lap around the circus tent, I noticed the ringmaster through the container building window, walking by inside a space that had been empty just moments ago.

While my eyes were glued to that sight, Samdu wandered wherever he pleased, and I found myself dragged right up to the office door.

“Why here? Behind this is just the forest.”

Beyond the container building was directly connected to the forest. Even if the base camp changed locations, its structure, layout, and scenery were always so similar that I knew there was nothing special behind it.

But Samdu planted himself right in front of the office door and refused to move.

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Woof!”

That time, the bark came from Red.

“…?”

A bead of sweat that had gathered while running trickled down my spine.

Was that why? My back suddenly felt chilly.

“Woof!”

Samdu barked again. This time Blue. And at last, I realized the source of the cold creeping up my spine.

The woof woof they were making… It was the same dog noise I made yesterday.

“Hey!”

Paling instantly, I grabbed Blue’s muzzle with both hands to shut him up, but then I met Yellow’s eyes. I watched helplessly as Yellow’s mouth slowly opened.

Behind me, the office door opened.

Click.

Even just the sound made my breath catch.

And then came the ringmaster’s voice, heavier than usual.

“What kind of bark is that supposed to be.”

I… I know, right.

I froze, unable to turn around, and in that moment Yellow tensed his neck.

“Woof.”

It was quieter than Red and Blue, but definitely clear. Yellow rarely made those cheerful little sounds, but he did now.

“Why are you making noises like that?”

“……”

Facing away from the ringmaster, I bit my lip and shut my eyes.

Where was I supposed to start explaining this?

“Uh, what… what did Samdu say?”

I needed to check first. What if I misunderstood? I mean, I can’t even properly distinguish L from R sometimes, and foreigners confuse Korean consonants all the time.

But no answer came.

“Ringmaster?”

When I called him again, a delayed response finally came.

“My partner is apparently engaging in affectionate behavior with their mate.”

“…What?”

It was a similar translation to what I heard yesterday, but subtly different. I turned around. The ringmaster was looking down at me with a puzzled expression.

“It doesn’t translate perfectly into human speech. But if I had to put it into words, that meaning comes the closest.”

My partner was engaging in affectionate behavior with their mate.

It hit far harder than “Mom kissed Dad.”

I could feel the top of my head, already hot from the sun, burning even more.

“Samdu wouldn’t say something like that for no reason. What happened?”

The ringmaster asked stiffly, and flustered, I stammered out my reply.

“Well, um, that’s… I, uh…”

“Woof! Woof!”

“Arf!”

Since I wasn’t answering properly, barking erupted behind me. It sounded like they were explaining everything in my place, but I had a bad feeling their version would not be sympathetic to me at all.

The ringmaster listened for a while, then stroked his chin with his hand as if covering his mouth, glanced briefly at me, and then looked back at Samdu. The look he gave me was much more relaxed than before, it seemed he found the whole situation amusing.

And that tiny glance alone was enough to max out my embarrassment.

“So. Out of all things, that’s what you said?”

“……”

He must have heard every bit of it. The ringmaster, still covering his mouth, turned his head slightly before looking forward again. This time, I lowered my head deeply.

“How was I supposed to know it meant that? I was just copying the sound.”

“I know. Dogs sometimes move their mouths randomly and end up making strange human words completely unrelated to their intent.”

The ringmaster was usually more sharp-tongued, but whenever I was genuinely embarrassed or flustered, he softened up a little. As if he was trying to soothe me. But somehow that only made everything even more humiliating.

Even now, he spoke gently, as if understanding me.

“It happens. Don’t worry about it.”

Yes…

Except, hearing the correct meaning only made everything far worse.

Samdu, you little brats.

Not mother, but guardian. That was clearly referring to me.

And mate would be…

No one. I didn’t have anyone I was paired with. But still, they came all the way to the ringmaster’s office and barked that nonsense.

Which meant…

I’m going to lose my mind.

I covered my face with the hand not holding the harness. Heat spread across my palm. It was especially bad today.

Moments like this only made it worse.

Samdu must have recognized the ringmaster as my mate.

And that realization made all the emotions I’d been suppressing burst up, too strong to contain.

“It’s almost three. Get ready to leave and bring Samdu inside.”

Then the ringmaster’s calm voice, the same as always, made me lift my face slowly from my hand.

“Why?”

There were things I wanted to ask, things I wanted to say, and things I wanted to hear. But I couldn’t grasp any of them clearly.

The ringmaster simply waited in silence for me to speak.

That long silence pressed on my chest until I stepped back slowly.

“No. It’s nothing.”

At my answer, the ringmaster’s brow creased slightly.

“If you have something to say, say it clearly.”

“I said it’s nothing.”

“I’ll listen to everything today.”

Today?

Ah.

“…Because it’s my birthday?”

He stared quietly at me, swallowing dryly, then slowly nodded.

Damn it.

I couldn’t feel the ground under my feet. Was the floor collapsing, or was I floating?

Either way, my feelings were painfully clear.

No matter how much I tried to ignore them, the emotion that had somehow taken root in this awful hell was more stubborn than I thought.

A hollow laugh escaped me.

“Ha.”

I couldn’t even speak from sheer disbelief.

This is too much.

“Ringmaster, you’re really…”

Too kind. For a demon, even.

Feeling both happy and miserable at the same time, I covered my forehead with my hand.

To think I’d end up liking him.

It was a hopeless one-sided crush, doomed from the start.