SHC Chapter 28

28. Airflow

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Hope was nowhere to be found.

Unless I’d completely lost my mind, there was no way I’d stay in hell. In the end we’d have to part. And in just a week.

“Seriously, what?”

Maybe because I trailed off earlier, the ringmaster asked me again.

“No. I just meant I’m really grateful to you.”

I lifted my head, brushed it off vaguely, and then used the moment to switch topics to something I had been thinking about.

“By the way, Samdu seems itchy and restless lately. Can I give him a bath?”

If he agreed, I planned to ask to use the bathroom inside his quarters. But the ringmaster nodded and gave me a different suggestion.

“There’s a lake along the way.”

“…Sorry?”

“If we go a bit off the path, there’s a lake. Wash him there.”

So we’d be entering the forest?

“Then we’ll travel with Samdu this time.”

At those words, Samdu barked wildly, unable to control the way his tail spun like a propeller. He even lifted his front paws and stood on two legs before dropping back down.

Wow. He’s huge when he stands.

“It’s almost three.”

“Oh, should we leave right now? I’m fine heading out like this.”

As I wiped off my sweat, the ringmaster told me to at least go wash my face, giving me a moment to breathe. So I splashed cold water on my face before coming back out.

Feeling refreshed, I quickly prepared to leave, eyeing Samdu, who was waiting to travel with us.

Traveling together with him…

Once I finished getting ready, the ringmaster handed me Samdu’s harness line.

“Hold on tight.”

“Oh, so I don’t have to hold the reins today?”

“No. The reins go in your other hand.”

Damn it…

So I held the white horse’s reins with my left hand, and the leash of the three-headed black dog in my right hand, and trudged forward.

It looked like the kind of situation where I might get squashed between two enormous creatures, but honestly, I didn’t feel anything special.

Maybe because I held one almost every day, and the other every few days.

The ringmaster didn’t seem bothered either. He always made me hold the reins during travel, probably to keep me from running off.

Samdu, however, clearly found the situation uncomfortable.

Snorting like a horse, all three heads kept turning, looking between the ringmaster and the white horse.

“What?”

I heard noises, but I couldn’t understand them, so I asked the ringmaster.

“What’s Samdu saying?”

“……”

His blue eyes flicked toward me for a moment before turning forward again.

“What is he saying?”

When he refused to answer, I pressed, and Samdu backed me up by snorting repeatedly at his side. With both of us pestering him, the ringmaster finally twisted his mouth and answered.

“He’s telling you to stop acting like a servant and get on.”

Ah. So even to Samdu, I looked like some stable boy.

Still, it was oddly sweet of him to say it for my sake, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I can’t ride. I’ve never ridden a horse in my life. Walking is better.”

While I explained that to Samdu, another loud snort sounded, this time from the white horse.

“What’s he saying?”

This time the ringmaster answered with firm finality.

“I can’t understand horse language either.”

Fair enough. Understanding dog language was already weird enough.

While the white horse neighed excitedly on my left, on my right a sudden sharp bark exploded from Samdu.

“I was startled. What did he say just now?”

The ringmaster didn’t ignore me like before, but he hesitated and opened his mouth only a little before answering slowly.

“He said you’d still be safer riding with me.”

“Oh… because you’re experienced.”

I turned my face away from him as I said it. Barely an hour had passed since I admitted my feelings to myself, and now the idea of riding together was too much.

“Woof woof!”

“If you want, he says you can ride on his back too.”

If I got on, I’d fall off immediately.

“Thanks anyway. You’re sweet, you really are.”

I looped Samdu’s harness line around my wrist, spread my palm, and stroked along his back and sides. The shifting muscles beneath my hand were so large and lively that it almost felt like strength training just to pet him.

A moving dog’s body was firmer and more energetic than I expected.

“He’s always in the cage, so how does he have so much muscle?”

Samdu kept walking calmly, staring ahead as I murmured.

“Are cerberus naturally muscular?”

“Part of it is natural.”

I see.

“When will we reach the lake?”

“Soon.”

Soon?

“Do you see that little trail over there?”

“A trail?”

Between the trees on the left side of the forest, something like a path was visible. But it was so narrow it looked like only rabbits or squirrels would use it.

“We go in through there.”

“But isn’t that too small for Samdu and the horse?”

“It doesn’t matter. The moment you enter, it becomes the lake.”

So space was warped again.

Drawing on what I’d experienced before, I held both the reins and the leash and guided the two animals forward. And the ringmaster sitting on the horse above them.

I put one foot in and checked with him.

“We’re really going in?”

“Yes.”

The ringmaster sat comfortably on his horse, watching me like it was amusing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

His gaze made me uncomfortable, so I glanced away at the trail as I asked.

“No reason. You’re just funny to watch.”

“What. Rude.”

As soon as I said that, I stepped into the stone-paved trail that looked like something fairies might walk on. The leaves blocking my view parted to the sides, and a wide lake opened up in front of me.

“Wow…”

The sound escaped without thought. Hoofsteps and Samdu’s heavy paws approached beside me.

“There was a place like this?”

The lake, colored in shades of green and blue, looked like an emerald sea.

“It’s beautiful.”

And strangely enough, pale pink light flickered through parts of it.

Even more unbelievable, golden sparkles floated on the surface like someone had sprinkled magic dust.

“Don’t go in.”

I was leading Samdu toward the water’s edge when the ringmaster called out urgently behind me.

“That lake won’t tolerate your fragile flesh.”

Then he told me to extend Samdu’s harness line as far as it would go. I obediently pulled the line out, confused.

“Won’t tolerate… what do you mean?”

“It dissolves you.”

Dissolves? Oh. So entering means instant death.

I kept pulling until the line finally reached the end. Fifty meters. It was this long?

After confirming the line was fully extended, the ringmaster spoke to Samdu.

“Clean yourself.”

At that command, Samdu practically shot forward, and the slackened leash whipped out of my hand. A huge splash rose above the lake moments later.

Like someone had dropped a massive bath bomb, Samdu splashed around before transitioning into a smooth, relaxed stroke like a swimmer returning to the water after a long time.

“He looks used to swimming. Is this not his first time?”

“He must remember it from before.”

He must have been talking about previous memories, probably the memories from the body he was born from.

“Anyway, once he goes in and comes out of that water, all the ticks and bacteria on him will die. That should reduce the itchiness…”

It even kills bacteria? Does it dissolve them too?

Now that I looked around, the lakeside was surrounded only by fine sand. There wasn’t a single blade of grass or even a bit of wood.

Watching Samdu play happily, I gently pulled and released the loose leash to signal the proper distance to him.

My left hand still held the reins, and the ringmaster dismounted, walking over to take the reins from me. Then he tied the horse to a nearby tree.

When he returned, he pointed with his index finger toward a rock on the left.

“Sit over in that shade.”

I turned to look. A large rock sat not far away. As I stepped into its shade, I grew tense at the sound of the ringmaster’s footsteps following behind me.

Once inside, he moved closer to my side.

“It’s not too hot here, right?”

His eyes were fixed on the sweat drops sliding down my neck. Feeling exposed under that gaze, I hurriedly wiped the sweat away. Yet the ringmaster didn’t look away. Instead, he observed me even more closely, his eyes tracing over me slowly.

Even in the shade, the temperature seemed to spike.

“Why…? Do I look that hot?”

“A little.”

The ringmaster stood close beside me. Then he asked again,

“Aren’t you going to sit?”

“You sit too.”

I dropped to the ground first, and he followed, sitting next to me.

“……”

“……”

Silence settled around us.

Just being inside this hollow of shade carved out by the rock felt like stepping into a different space entirely. In here, it was only me and the ringmaster. No one else.

A long time passed without either of us speaking. Still, he stayed at my side.

I swallowed, the sound seeming louder than it should have been.

A breeze carrying the scent of the forest and water drifted in. The air brushed along my skin like a spring wind. I glanced to the right, but all I could see was the side of his face under the eyepatch. It made it hard to read him.

It felt nice.

I liked it… but what about him? Come to think of it, had I ever sat side by side with the ringmaster like this before?

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. The more I thought about it, the faster my heart pounded.

My heart had been beating pleasantly until the moment I turned my head by accident, and met his eyes as he looked directly at me. From that instant, it began pounding wildly.

Even when I quickly looked forward, I could still feel his gaze vividly. I had the irrational fear that if this kept up, my exploding heart might actually burst out of my chest. I forced myself to concentrate on Samdu splashing around joyfully in the water.

But the effort was wasted.

“Coming to the lake slowed us down.”

“Yes.”

His sudden voice shook me immediately. I tried hard to focus on the lake while answering, but what he said next made my composure crumble completely.

“So we should do it now.”

Do what?! No, I knew. I knew exactly what. But doing it this suddenly?

“H-here?”

Startled, I looked to the side, and the ringmaster was already very close. His face was right in front of mine.

The shade, the bright forest just beyond it, the sparkling lake, the black dog splashing around, the white horse tied to the tree. His face so close it cast a shadow across mine. His eyes fixed on me.

My vision spun.

Then the ringmaster’s calm lips parted.

“Then where do you want to do it?”

Where did I want to…? Why ask something like that?

While I was still flustered and stumbling for words, he didn’t wait. His lips pressed against mine.

I had done this dozens of times already, yet I reacted as awkwardly as if it were my first.

Sensing my stiffness, he didn’t pull away. Instead, with his lips still touching mine, he spoke.

“Why? Do you not want to?”

“Should we go somewhere else?”

“Go where? I have to watch Samdu.”

I pulled my head back in a panic and answered evasively. The ringmaster closed the distance I had tried to create and pressed his lips to mine again.

“Then don’t avoid me.”

No, you need to stop talking with your mouth on mine. Who taught you to speak like that?

His slow, familiar way of drawing in my lips began, and I squeezed my eyes shut. My body was stiff, yet my lips parted easily. Habit had trained them well.

Earlier, when I leaned back, he had leaned forward the same amount. Because of that, with only one arm supporting myself, I was holding up both my own weight and his. When he pressed in even closer, I couldn’t hold on and slowly fell backward.

A bright warning light flashed in my mind.

At this rate, I’m going to fall.

As in, lie down flat on the ground. And if the ringmaster ended up above me… would I really be able to handle that?

I mean, would my body… not react?

I’ve been springing up for days already!

If this continued, he would definitely notice the erection I’d get today too, so I pushed him away with all the strength I had. If we were going to do this, then at least we needed a position where our lower bodies wouldn’t touch…

But of course, the moment I pushed him, I fell back too. Damn the law of action and reaction.

The instant I hit the ground, the ringmaster followed, covering me like a blanket, just as I expected.

I managed to lift and turn my knees together, so our lower bodies didn’t touch directly, but for a brief moment it felt like they did, and I nearly panicked.

“W-wmph.”

I tried to tell him to stop for a second, but today he didn’t even give me room to breathe. He swallowed every sound I tried to make, making it impossible to speak. With no other choice, I pressed my lips shut tightly, and only then did he pull away with a long exhale.

“Can’t breathe?”

“No, it’s just… the position.”

I was lying flat on my back, struggling to lift only my head and shoulders. The ringmaster watched me from above.

“Ringmaster, um… this position is a little…”

But he didn’t move. He stared silently, not even twitching. My attempt to sit up stopped.

Why was he looking at me like that?

Like he was examining me, thoroughly, inch by inch.

After a moment, without saying a word, he pushed himself up with his arms, lifting his weight slightly off me.

Does he want me to get up?

Worried I’d miss the chance, I scrambled up quickly, only for the ringmaster to lean in and kiss me again with no pause whatsoever.

Since I hadn’t balanced myself yet, I fell straight back down again.

But this time, he didn’t give me any space.

He continued moving his lips and pressing down with his body. At some point I couldn’t even tell if this was supposed to be deodorizing work or just kissing, or rather, some sort of intimate display. And then, suddenly, I snapped into awareness.

And to my shock, I realized my arms were wrapped around the ringmaster’s neck.

What?!

Was I insane?

And somehow my mouth was moving, pressing and rubbing against his lips?

Even more shocking was the fact that the ringmaster didn’t stop me. He accepted everything I did.

My head was full of questions, yet my body was behaving on its own, doing whatever it wanted.

I tilted my head and pulled him close, sucking along his lips up and down. Inside, I screamed, You’re insane! You’ve lost it! But my body wouldn’t stop.

It felt so good. Unlike always receiving passively, I was moving too, and because both of us were moving, it felt even better, so good I couldn’t possibly stop.

Wet, slick sounds filled the space between our lips without pause.

With lips soaked from shared saliva, I kept rubbing and devouring his lips. The sensation of not just being sucked but taking him in drove away the brief moment of rationality I had regained.

Then, for some reason, the ringmaster seemed like he was about to pull away. With my reason gone, I tightened my arms around him and bit his lip lightly.

Where are you going.

Where do you think you’re going?

Something inside me screamed in place of my missing reason.

Don’t leave me!

When I clung to him like that, his movements stopped and our eyes met. Seeing myself reflected so close in those blue eyes, I was sure my face was completely red.

My head felt hazy.

I had been biting and tugging at his lips, but this time I opened my mouth and pushed my tongue out.

Sliding between our damp lips and invading the warm flesh inside him felt unfamiliar, yet it sent a shiver down my lower stomach strong enough to make me arch. The heat rising to my face melted my brain, and the moment the tip of my tongue touched the ringmaster’s, all strength drained from my body.

The arms wrapped around him trembled violently.

It was because I was too excited.

I pushed my tongue in as far as I could, curling it like a hook to trace along the inside of his mouth. I felt his body jolt in response through the parts of him pressed against me and through the arms I held him with.

While I kept digging deeper and pressing into different places, the ringmaster’s stiff tongue finally twitched. When his tongue touched mine, it was my turn to jerk, and he leaned down further, lowering his chin slowly. As his lips opened wider, my tongue slipped out of his mouth in surprise. But before it could escape, he followed it, pushing his tongue into my mouth instead.

The sensation of someone else’s flesh pushing into my mouth, especially the tongue of someone I liked, made my mouth water for reasons I didn’t want to think too deeply about.

Honestly, I wasn’t in my right mind.

I licked him, sucked him in, pressed my lips around him, trying to savor him like he was the best thing I’d ever tasted.

“Mm… hhh…”

Saliva dripped to the side, but I didn’t care. I was too focused on taking in as much of him as I could. When I finally slowed from sheer exhaustion, the ringmaster finally moved.

Unlike what I had been doing earlier, he didn’t push deep. He kept his movements shallow, slowly tasting me or focusing on my lips.

Just those light, dipping touches felt as overwhelming as a long rod pushing all the way down my throat.

His tongue brushed the inside of my front teeth as he pulled back, then it traced my lips before a series of light kisses began. After that, his lips traveled down to my chin.

The soft, fleeting kisses were like a butterfly landing and lifting away.

“…Haa.”

Lying down, I raised my head just enough to grab a handful of his hair as he lightly sucked at the tip of my chin. Only then did I realize how out of breath I was. I slowly released the tension in my body and breathed out.

His lips traced up my jawline and reached my ear, and the tip of his tongue brushed my earlobe.

My shoulders jumped, and I twisted my body with a breathy noise I couldn’t hold back.

His touch slid from behind my ear, on the opposite side he hadn’t kissed, down the hollow beneath it, along my neck, then to my shoulder. I caught that hand and pulled it against my chest.

Once I did, I wanted to shift my hips. Twisting earlier to avoid lower-body contact had left my posture uncomfortable, and the bulge straining between my legs was being pressed in a way that actually hurt. But with the ringmaster’s weight on top of me, I couldn’t move. I just stayed pinned there, absorbing his warmth.

Maybe that discomfort was why a certain thought suddenly came to mind.

I was doing this because I liked him, but why was he…?

The hardness pressed between my thighs and pelvis had to be his erection.

I sucked in a breath.

Why… really?

Did the ringmaster like me too?

I rolled my eyes upward to look at the back of his head as he buried his face against my neck. I could see the movements of his jaw and ear.

This definitely isn’t deodorizing work.

We were kissing. Touching. Exploring each other. I didn’t know whether I had started it or he had, but once I came back to myself, this was what we were doing.

Could he actually be interested in me?

He really had been kind. More attentive than he was with the other members. He gave me conveniences, privileges. And even though he was harsh and terrifying with the others, he showed a relaxed, gentle side only in front of me.

Maybe that’s why I liked the afternoons we spent alone.

Because I got to see a side of him only I knew.

So at the very least, he had to like me, right?

More than like me, probably. What guy suddenly does this with another guy?

Or maybe demons are different? Maybe they don’t think about things like that?

If so… I’m grateful anyway…

The ringmaster suddenly lifted his head sharply.

“……”

“……”

Our eyes met, and a few seconds later I looked away awkwardly and bit my lip. Seeing that, the ringmaster rose slowly without saying anything.

As the heat of his body drifted away from me little by little, I felt on my skin that everything had come to an end.

The warmth that had been so hot cooled into something lukewarm.

I darted my eyes around awkwardly, but when I saw him bury his face in one hand with a pained expression, even that lukewarm air turned cold.

The muscles in his jaw tightened. It looked like he was clenching his teeth.

Why?

“…Sorry.”

The moment that apology fell out of his mouth, I felt like someone had dumped cold water over my head.

Sorry?

Sorry?

“You don’t… have to apologize.”

I couldn’t control my expression. I answered stiffly, sat up, and as soon as I did, I clamped my legs together and wrapped my arms around them to hide the very obvious bulge that was still there.

The temperature under the shade plummeted sharply.

Kneeling as if he had committed some kind of crime, the ringmaster stayed in that position, his head lowered and his face still buried in his palm.

Was it really that wrong?

Stung, I spoke sharply on purpose.

“Then why did you go along with it?”

If he was going to regret it this much.

I felt wronged. Who leaned in first? Sure, it had started as deodorizing work, and sure, we’d fallen into each other by accident… but still.

If I at least remembered who started it, I’d have something to say. But I’d lost my mind and remembered nothing.

Except that it felt good.

“Go along with it?”

Repeating my words, the ringmaster slowly lowered his hand from his face and looked at me. He wore the expression of a boy who’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

“I… I grabbed you with both arms like this… and stuck my tongue in first…”

“……”

His eyes narrowed. His expression hardened even more.

“Anyway, I’m asking why you accepted it!”

Right after I said that, a very unpleasant thought struck me.

“Don’t tell me…”

“……”

“You didn’t just… play along because today’s my birthday, right?”

The ringmaster’s eyes widened in what seemed like genuine shock.

A ridiculous accusation he never expected? Or had I hit the mark?

But after that, he didn’t answer. He just shut his mouth tight, kneeling there in silence. Watching that made my chest feel heavier and heavier.

“If that really is the reason…”

Was my voice always like this? Why was it so low and shaky?

“Then why were you hard?”

His gaze dropped to his own crotch. He was still erect.

“……”

When I glared down at that area, he quickly yanked his coat over it to hide. But when I lifted my eyes again, I caught him glancing as if to check between my legs.

“Where are you looking?”

I pulled my legs in tighter and curled around them to hide myself, too.

The ringmaster raked his fingers roughly through his hair and turned away. We ended up sitting side by side with our backs against the rock. As I turned my eyes away from him, feeling suffocated by this awful atmosphere, something finally came into view.

Samdu, who had finished swimming, was lying by the lakeside, staring directly at us.

“What the hell is that.”

The ringmaster’s voice came out harshly. Somehow, that moment made our earlier dissonance click back into place.

Because I felt exactly the same.

So I added a comment.

“What are you looking at.”

“Woof!”

Redhead barked brightly.

“That brat…”

The ringmaster muttered something under his breath, apparently understanding what Samdu meant. I wanted desperately to ask, but the mood wouldn’t let me. I bit my lower lip, then flinched.

Why does it sting?

Realizing it was because of too much kissing made a wave of gloom crash over me.

I bowed my head and pressed my face briefly into my knees, but when I heard another bark, don’t know which head it came from, I jerked my head up again.

“Woof!”

My face ignited like I’d been set on fire. Without thinking, I tore my gaze away from Samdu’s stupid face and turned to the ringmaster. He must have had the same thought I did, because he was already turning his head toward me.

When our eyes met perfectly, he asked me,

“Is that ‘partner’ he keeps talking about… supposed to be me?”

His expression was unusually flustered.

My expression probably wasn’t any better. And since I even nodded, he must have gone completely pale.

I didn’t see how he reacted.

Because the moment I nodded, he stood up immediately and ran off in the opposite direction like he was fleeing for his life.

I wanted to be alone too, but thanks to the harness line looped around my right wrist, Samdu happily bounded after me along the lakeside.

The sight of a giant dog running along a sparkling lake looked like something straight out of a movie.