SHUDDER 17

The fierce noise of the keyboard stopped. The gaze that had been counting the dense words of the report was fixed on the corner of the monitor, counting the time as it added up minute by minute. He placed the mouse pointer over the power menu and waited for a moment. Finally, when the clock struck ‘06:00’, he hurried to prepare to leave.

It took less than a minute to turn off the computer, gather the documents on the desk, and place them on the bookshelf. He poured all his belongings, including his phone, into his bag and stood up from his seat. His colleagues all turned to look at Gijeong at once.

“You all worked hard today.”

Gijeong slung his bag over his shoulder and bowed his head. At that, the attention of his colleagues that had been fixed on him flew towards Section Chief Song, as if on cue. Section Chief Song, who until that moment had looked ready to dive into his monitor, glanced at his wristwatch.

“Oh? Is it already this late? You can leave, Mr. Gijeong. Everyone else, start wrapping up and head home, too.”

As soon as Section Chief Song’s permission was granted, the employees began to rise from their seats one by one. The sight of them popping up like mushrooms after a rain was just like a game of whack-a-mole. The way they rushed to say their goodbyes, as if they would be held back if they delayed, was even quite combative.

“I’ll be taking my leave first, then!”

“I have an urgent appointment too! You’ve all worked hard. See you on Monday!”

“Everyone, have a great weekend!”

In an instant, the spacious office was empty. Gijeong had been the first to say his goodbyes, yet he was also the last one left in the office.

Section Chief Song shook his head as if he couldn’t be helped and began to finish what he was doing. Then, he abruptly asked Gijeong, who was about to be the last to leave the office.

“Mr. Gijeong, you’ve been leaving right on time every Friday lately, haven’t you? And you mostly use your annual leave on Mondays. What, have you got a pot of honey buried at home or something?”

Gijeong was startled and looked back at Section Chief Song. Section Chief Song, who had been staring only at his monitor just a moment ago, was now staring intently at Gijeong from over his partition. He wore an unreadable smile on his face.

“Is something good happening? You seem to have a much better complexion lately. You got a lover, didn’t you? Right? My intuition is top-notch, so don’t even think about fooling me.”

“…Yes.”

He touched the back of his head with an awkward smile. At that, Section Chief Song leaned back deep into his chair and sighed.

“Ah, I’m so jealous. It’s the springtime of life.”

“Aren’t you leaving, Section Chief?”

“I’ll just look at this a little longer. Your lover must be waiting, so hurry up and go.”

Section Chief Song waved his hand, urging him to leave quickly. Gijeong bowed his head and left the office right away. As he walked down the hallway with short, quick steps, he checked the time again. It was not as if he had a set train to catch, yet he felt a needless sense of impatience bubbling up.

His steps toward the parking lot gradually quickened, eventually turning into a run. Whatever he was in such a hurry for, he started the engine as soon as he got into the car, without even a moment to catch his breath. He barely managed to fasten his seatbelt while turning the steering wheel and circling the parking lot.

He exited the parking lot and entered the main road. The 10-lane road was already packed with cars on their way home from work. Horns, big and small, blared from here and there. In the figures of the cars and pedestrians, each hurrying on their way, one could feel the anticipation, excitement, and relief that preceded the weekend. Until recently, Gijeong, who had only thought of resting out of sheer exhaustion, had also become one of them. It had only been a few months since that changed.

He would be tied to the company, working all week, and as soon as he finished work on Friday or Saturday, he would leave for Sojakdo Island. He was tired from the accumulated fatigue of the week, but the thought of meeting Hwang Jangyeop and Giyeong made him forget such things in an instant.

How had he ever endured this deep longing all this time? Perhaps he was able to endure it because he had imagined and desperately hoped for things to turn out this way. That someday he would return with his head held high, ask for forgiveness from the people he had hurt, and restore the distorted relationships. Because he had believed without a doubt that it would surely happen. The pure, devoted love that Hwang Jangyeop had shown him—unbefitting of such a rough man—had planted that belief in him.

As if crossing a dark and gloomy past, he passed through countless tunnels, and then passed through more. He was in such a hurry that he did not even stop at a rest area. The number of cars on the road gradually decreased. In proportion to that, his heart swelled up uncontrollably. He was getting closer and closer to Hwang Jangyeop and Giyeong. His heart had already arrived and reached them long ago.

Even though he went down every weekend after his and Hwang Jangyeop’s hearts had connected, this meeting after nearly a week felt so deeply cherished. They say that human affairs are full of twists and turns, and no matter how close people are, living in close quarters often leads to clashes and friction; however, the physical distance and time spent apart only nurtured a longing that was free of resentment.

Forcibly suppressing the longing that was softly piling up even in a short moment, he sped through the darkened road. A sign indicating the end of the line appeared on the highway that had seemed tediously endless. Soon, he reached the exit that he passed through three or four times a month. After paying the toll and driving a little further, the familiar town came into view.

Gijeong’s car, which had been driving without a break, slowed down and headed for the passenger terminal. The terminal’s lights were all off, as it was well past the time the last boat would have departed. Even so, Gijeong did not panic and drove a little further down toward a nearby shop.

Sure enough, Hwang Jangyeop and Giyeong were sitting at a table in front of the shop. As soon as he spotted the two of them, Gijeong’s face, which had been stiff with tension and anxiety, immediately relaxed.

Whenever Gijeong came down, the two of them would invariably come out to meet him. It was unavoidable on days like today when he arrived late, but it was the same even when he came during the day. It must have been a nuisance every time, but they had never once skipped coming to meet him. It seemed the feeling of wanting to see each other one minute sooner, one second faster, was not Gijeong’s alone.

When he opened the driver’s side door and got out, Giyeong jumped up and approached him. Hwang Jangyeop also threw the cigarette he was smoking onto the ground and roughly stubbed it out with his foot. Today, too, there were so many discarded cigarette butts at his feet that they could not be counted at a glance.

“Giyeong, have you been well?”

Gijeong gently stroked the head of Giyeong, who now came up to his chest. Giyeong said, “Yeah,” and grinned, revealing his even teeth. Now, one could not find any sign of the boy feeling unfamiliar or awkward with his older brother. The boy who welcomed Gijeong as if he had not been hurt in the slightest, not even once, always brought forth a feeling of tender sorrow.

Gijeong moved his gaze, which had been only on Giyeong, to Hwang Jangyeop. When their eyes met, Hwang Jangyeop simply gave a nod instead of a word of greeting like, “You’re here.” Then he briskly walked off first toward where his fishing boat was tied.

He was as blunt now as he had been in the past, with little difference. He was one to express his feelings with only subtle expressions and gestures that were easy to miss if one did not observe closely. His way of being particularly clumsy when it came to expression, as if something terrible would happen if he were to openly show affection, was hopelessly endearing.

“Shall we go too?” he said, holding out his hand to Giyeong.

“I’m not a baby anymore.”

Giyeong hesitated for a moment, looking displeased, before reluctantly taking Gijeong’s hand. Indeed, his hand filled Gijeong’s surprisingly well. His skin, which had once been as soft as fluff, had become quite firm, and his body temperature, which had been warm and toasty, was now just right. The boy who was so young was growing up remarkably day by day. He felt endlessly sorry, proud, and grateful.

Hwang Jangyeop walked in front, and Gijeong and Giyeong, holding hands, slowly followed behind him. That fleeting moment of walking while looking at that broad back and chatting softly with Giyeong could not have been more fulfilling and cozy. It felt as though the fatigue and stress accumulated from his busy daily life vanished in an instant. It was as if someone was patting him on the back, telling him he had lived the past week well, too.

When they arrived at Hwang Jangyeop’s house, a late dinner table was set on the wooden floor. It seemed he had prepared the meal in advance, knowing that Gijeong would rush over without even eating. It must have been a bother to have dinner, clean up, and then set the table all over again, but that was something Hwang Jangyeop never skipped either. He felt full and warm inside before he had even taken a single bite of rice.

Hwang Jangyeop, upon seeing the prepared meal, just grinned and then needlessly chided Gijeong, who was not coming to sit down quickly.

“What are you standing there staring at? Hurry up and plant your butt down.”

He even grabbed Gijeong’s arm and personally pulled him to sit in front of the dinner table. When he removed the cloth covering the table, the savory soybean paste stew was the first thing he saw. The soybean paste stew in the earthenware pot still held a faint warmth. The plump green chili peppers and watery cucumbers looked as if they had been freshly picked from the garden in the yard and washed. A stew, chili peppers, kimchi, and horribly made fried eggs. It was an utterly simple meal, but he would not have envied even the grandest of feasts.

“The stew, should I heat it up for you?”

“No. I’ll just eat it as it is. I will eat well.”

He stopped Hwang Jangyeop, who looked ready to put the earthenware pot on the fire at any moment, and picked up his spoon. As soon as a heaping spoonful of the salty and savory soybean paste stew entered his mouth, a fierce appetite arose. The breeze blowing in from the nearby sea added to the atmosphere, making the rice taste even sweeter.

Giyeong, who had been silently watching Gijeong, quickly scurried to the kitchen. His intention must have been to fetch a glass of water for his older brother.

While eating with hunger as his side dish, he suddenly lifted his head. It was because Hwang Jangyeop was pointlessly loitering around the yard. It seemed he was uncomfortable openly watching him eat, but at the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to go into the room entirely, as he was still curious. It was obvious just from the way he kept glancing over at Gijeong.

“Eat with me.”

At Gijeong’s suggestion, Hwang Jangyeop approached and sat down as if he couldn’t refuse. Just then, Giyeong, who was carefully carrying a large bowl full of water, said, “Mister, you already ate earlier,” but Hwang Jangyeop pretended not to hear. Hwang Jangyeop served himself a heaping bowl of rice and ate heartily, scooping up large mouthfuls. Perhaps Gijeong looked lonely eating by himself, as he did not refuse a fourth meal.

There was a time this had happened quite a long time ago. He couldn’t remember exactly when, but it was when he had eaten pork and rice soup for the first time in his life. That day, Hwang Jangyeop had stopped Gijeong, who was rushing to get home, fed him until he was full, and even packed more food, thinking of his family waiting at home. He had even eaten the soup again, despite having already eaten, so that Gijeong wouldn’t feel awkward.

Since then, he couldn’t remember ever having eaten pork and rice soup that was as delicious and warm as that. The reason Gijeong suddenly let out a soft laugh in the middle of his meal was because he remembered Hwang Jangyeop’s goodwill and affection, which had been so transparent at the time.

“Is there something on my face? Why are you grinning in the middle of eating?”

Hwang Jangyeop, feeling Gijeong’s gaze, muttered with displeasure and brushed both his cheeks. Gijeong shook his head as if it were nothing and pushed his own spoon into the earthenware pot where Hwang Jangyeop’s spoon had dug in deep. It was an action without a moment’s hesitation.

Giyeong sat behind them and watched until the two had finished their meal. Every time Gijeong’s chopsticks moved toward the慘狀of the fried eggs, the boy’s toes would twitch along with them. It seemed that he had made those fried eggs himself. Eggshells crunched from time to time, and the salt was clumped in places, but Gijeong willingly ate it all.

“Are you done eating?”

As soon as Gijeong put down his spoon, Hwang Jangyeop asked as if he had been waiting. He had already finished his heaping bowl of rice. It seemed he wanted to clear the table first because small insects kept being drawn to the sweet smell of the soybean paste. Gijeong beat him to it and stood up with the table.

“I can at least do the dishes.”

Gijeong quickly went into the kitchen before Hwang Jangye-op could stop him. Soon, the sound of clattering dishes could be heard from inside. The sound of splashing water followed. Sitting on the edge of the wooden floor and quietly listening to the sounds, the corners of Hwang Jangyeop’s mouth curled up slightly. He wondered if the woodcutter who stole the celestial maiden’s clothes and finally brought her into his home must have felt just as proud.

About ten minutes later, Gijeong came out, roughly wiping his wet hands on his clothes. He pulled down his sleeves, which had become completely soaked, making his effort to roll them up useless. He tried flicking the water off with his hands, but it was no use. In the meantime, Giyeong had fallen fast asleep, lying on his stomach on the wooden floor.

“Oh, is he sleeping?”

He thought he had heard the boy’s voice sporadically while doing the dishes, but it seemed he had fallen into a deep sleep in that short time. It was nothing unusual in an island village where people laid out their bedding as soon as the sun set. Besides, he must have been tired today from waiting up late for Gijeong.

He approached and sat down by the head of the soundly breathing Giyeong. Then he quietly gazed at the boy’s face, which was pressed firmly against the wooden floor. In his curved eyebrows, his tightly closed eyes and round nose, and his constantly mumbling lips, he saw his father and he saw his mother. The only time he could glimpse the faces of his parents, who were no longer with him, was when he looked at Giyeong.

He only felt sorry for Giyeong. It had been just over half a year since he had returned, but his guilt still hadn’t lessened. It was Giyeong who had decided to stay here with Hwang Jangyeop instead of going with Gijeong. Respecting the boy’s choice, even though they lived apart, they contacted each other every day, and Gijeong came down to see him unfailingly once a week.

He could clearly feel that the boy’s completely closed heart was gradually opening. Yet, the sense of indebtedness in his own heart remained. He was proud of Giyeong for growing up so well without him, and his heart ached again for no reason when he thought about how the young boy must have walked on eggshells in ways he knew and didn’t know.

He reached out and gently, gently stroked the sleeping Giyeong’s face. As if the touch was unbearably ticklish, Giyeong’s face twitched. It seemed like if he touched him any more, a cough might burst out. He took Giyeong’s two arms, which were raised high as if cheering in his sleep, and slowly lowered them. It felt like a waste to just pull his hand away, so he held the hand and ticklishly caressed it with his thumb.

Like Gijeong, Hwang Jangyeop just sat perched on the wooden porch, watching the scene unfold. There was no room for him to intervene, nor did he want to.

“About Giyeong, thank you for raising him so well.”

“…You brat. So damn random.”

Hwang Jangyeop grumbled in a dumbfounded tone at the sudden words of gratitude. Even so, he stared intently at Gijeong’s face. Gijeong, as if he knew that kind of reaction was coming, smiled faintly and continued speaking.

“It’s just… I’ve wanted to say it for a long time, but I kept missing the chance. I thought it would be good to say it now while I have the opportunity to express it. If it weren’t for you, Mr. Jangyeop, I can’t imagine how I, or Giyeong, would be living right now. Raising Giyeong by myself wouldn’t have been easy, and who knows if this boy would have grown up as healthy as he is now. We would have survived somehow, but it definitely wouldn’t have been as good as this.”

He repeatedly brushed Giyeong’s bangs aside, revealing his forehead clearly. Then he suddenly stopped talking and lifted his head. Hwang Jangyeop was scratching vigorously behind his ear without any reply. It was almost no different from clawing at it. Gijeong chuckled to himself and muttered playfully.

“Come to think of it, Mr. Jangyeop, you’re surprising in many ways. The things you say and do are rough and harsh, but I don’t think your heart is like that. A person who seems like he wouldn’t even be able to handle raising and caring for a child, if only because it’s a bother, took such good care of Giyeong all by himself. You would have been a pretty decent father to someone.”

His intention was to praise him for being that dependable. But Hwang Jangyeop’s eyebrows, which had been listening in silence, twitched subtly.

“And where do brats come from for free? Or what, are you going to pop them out for me one by one?”

“…Pardon?”

“If not, then cut the crap.”

It was as good as him declaring that since Gijeong was a man who couldn’t bear children, he himself would never have a reason to act as a father to anyone else. It was no different from a confession that the only person he would keep by his side now and for the rest of his life was Gijeong.

Hwang Jangyeop’s expressions of affection were always like this. He only knew how to reveal his single-minded devotion in such a shabby way. He always dismissed his upright sincerity as if it were nothing.

But it wasn’t difficult to uncover the true meaning contained within. Even if he couldn’t see it, he could fully tell that all of Hwang Jangyeop’s attention was focused solely on Gijeong himself.

“I understand. I won’t say such silly things anymore.”

Gijeong let his eyebrows droop and smiled brightly. Hwang Jangyeop, who was watching him, suddenly nudged the soundly sleeping Giyeong. Nudge, nudge.

“Hey. Hey, you brat. You trying to get a crooked mouth from sleeping like this? Go inside and sleep.”

“Heeing.”

At Hwang Jangye-op’s urging, Giyeong scrunched up his entire face and squirmed. But he didn’t sit up abruptly. As if he were used to Giyeong’s dawdling, Hwang Jangyeop grabbed the scruff of the boy’s neck in one go and forced him into a sitting position. Then, he gestured with his chin towards the boy’s room and said again, go in. Giyeong, with his eyes closed, mumbled some incomprehensible words over and over, then instinctively crawled toward his room to go inside.

Gijeong quickly followed him and laid out the bedding. He propped a pillow under the head of Giyeong, who was about to just lie down haphazardly, and pulled the blanket up to his neck.

He was looking down at the sleeping Giyeong for a while when, from outside, Hwang Jangyeop let out a dry cough, deliberately making his presence known. Only then did he turn off the light and go out to the wooden porch. Then, without any hesitation, he sat down next to Hwang Jangyeop and listened to the sound of the waves. In the thick darkness where the sky and sea were indistinguishable, dense stars glittered. In the peaceful silence, he stared blankly up at the sky, then suddenly opened his mouth.

“I think the human heart is so fickle. Before, I found even that sound of the waves and the salty smell of the sea to be so tedious and hateful, but now it feels quite atmospheric…”

Before Gijeong could even finish his sentence, Hwang Jangyeop’s shoulder pressed firmly against his. He reflexively tried to turn to look at Hwang Jangyeop, but Hwang Jangyeop, who had leaned his upper body towards Gijeong, suddenly licked up the back of his ear with a lingering motion.

“…Ngh.”

His body instinctively stiffened at the sudden skinship. His spine went rigid and his neck shrank in tandem. Then, Hwang Jangyeop blatantly sucked on Gijeong’s earlobe.

A warm breath seeped into his ear. A shiver ran through his body from that warm yet moist sensation. Gijeong slightly pulled his head away from Hwang Jangyeop, who looked like he would devour his entire ear if left alone. Hwang Jangyeop paid it no mind and moved a little closer to Gijeong.

Smack, smack. The sound echoed grandly. Pushing against Hwang Jangyeop’s chest, he barely managed to face him. Hwang Jangyeop looked displeased, like someone who had been suffering from terrible hunger and only got to taste the dipping sauce. As if to soothe the panting man, Gijeong held his face and gently, gently stroked his cheek and jaw. Then, he softly pressed his own lips onto his.

Hwang Jangyeop was momentarily surprised by the completely unexpected kiss, but he soon relaxed his facial muscles. Gijeong, with his eyes squeezed shut, gently took Hwang Jangyeop’s lower lip into his mouth and pulled. For a while, a kiss that felt more ticklish than arousing continued.

He could fully taste the salty soybean paste. The spicy flavor of the chili pepper was also vividly transmitted. It wasn’t unpleasant. Rather, the awareness of being in the middle of a kiss made his body temperature rise and his insides feel giddy. He wanted to suck his tongue a bit more properly. He opened his mouth slightly and stuck out his tongue, licking Hwang Jangyeop’s coarse lips.

In that instant, Hwang Jangyeop, who had been silent, suddenly rushed at him roughly and knocked Gijeong over. Then, he pressed down both of Gijeong’s hands, which had been holding his face, onto the floor above his head. Gijeong, who had been intoxicated by the kiss he had initiated and the atmosphere, snapped back to his senses only when Hwang Jangyeop abruptly buried his head in his neck.

“Wait a minute. Wait… I haven’t washed up yet.”

After whetting the other’s appetite to the fullest, he was now trying to save himself. Every time Hwang Jangyeop gnawed at the inside of his neck, where his scent had grown stronger, he thrashed his limbs wildly.

However, once the engine was started, Hwang Jangyeop was not one to back down so easily. Hwang Jangyeop groped Gijeong’s chest over his thin shirt and sneered.

“Suddenly acting like a chaste, virtuous lady?”

“That’s not it, wait…”

Despite Gijeong’s protests, Hwang Jangyeop grabbed his shirt with both hands and yanked it open. The small buttons popped off and hit Gijeong’s chin. A few of them rolled off the wooden porch with a clattering sound.

Gijeong pushed against Hwang Jangyeop, who was pressing him down forcefully, and kicked his legs, insisting that he couldn’t. He never submitted quietly, but today he seemed to be particularly fussy.

And for good reason. He had been hectically busy all day trying to finish all his tasks before leaving work. He had sweated quite a bit, too. After getting off work, he had driven without a break, so he didn’t even have time to wash his face. The damp, grimy feeling of being covered in dust all day remained, and it felt too gross to have sex in that state. Even if Hwang Jangyeop said he didn’t care, Gijeong himself couldn’t allow it.

“I’ll go wash up. Nngh, wait… I said I’ll go wash up… Ah, ngh.”

Gijeong tried to soothe Hwang Jangyeop, who was biting down on his chest. But his words were soon crushed into a moan. Hwang Jangyeop pressed down on Gijeong’s arm, which was held high, all while Gijeong was trying to maintain some decency by repeatedly saying he would wash first, and sweetly took the exposed, pale pink flesh into his mouth. He balled up his thick tongue and pressed down on the small nub of flesh, then sucked on it greedily, making smacking sounds.

“Nng, uh… Wait, just a moment… Ah, ngh…”

Gijeong’s elbows and knees repeatedly jerked up. He kicked his legs again and again as if to escape from Hwang Jangyeop, but he was pinned flat by the larger man’s body and couldn’t budge an inch. Both his arms were also held fast, thrown up high as if cheering. With his futile struggles, Gijeong’s breathing became noticeably heavier.

“Ah… really. Nngh, ugh, ahh… ugh.”

Finally, a sigh of resignation escaped from Gijeong. After groaning for a long time, at some point, he began to let out sweet, sugary moans. A faint blush spread across his cheeks. When Hwang Jangyeop let go of his hardened nipple with a pop and just shallowly scraped it with the tip of his tongue, his chest secretly fluttered, inciting a slightly deeper stimulation.

“Acting all coy when you’re loving it.”

Hwang Jangyeop, who had lifted his eyes to check Gijeong’s reaction, snorted. His low, murmuring voice even cracked a little. Perhaps because of that voice, his groin suddenly throbbed with a tingling sensation. Ugh, he gasped, pressing his knees together.

As if to show off, Hwang Jangyeop stuck his tongue out long and moved it to the other nipple. Gijeong’s head, which had been watching anxiously, snapped back. It was because Hwang Jangyeop had put strength into the tip of his tongue, pressing down and digging into the small nub of flesh until it was buried.

“Nng, uh… Ahh, st, stop…”

Despite Gijeong shaking his head, Hwang Jangyeop persistently crushed and sucked on the small nub of flesh. The slow, spreading pleasure from his chest made Gijeong’s face turn bright red, starting from his neck.

Hwang Jangyeop didn’t stop there. He lowered his head a little deeper and suddenly licked a long stripe up the inside of Gijeong’s armpit.

“Ugh, no…!”

Gijeong’s teetering expression crumbled completely. As the inside of his armpit became wet with damp, lukewarm saliva, he squeezed his eyes shut and was at a total loss. His feet kept slipping futilely on the shiny wooden floor.

Every time Hwang Jangyeop’s nose brushed against his damp skin as if burying itself, every time his rough jaw and lips dragged thickly across him, his body trembled. Whenever Hwang Jangyeop so much as took a breath, he would instinctively tense his shoulders and hold his breath.

Even though they were a couple who had seen everything there was to see, Hwang Jangyeop would unhesitatingly cross even the barest minimum of boundaries and lay everything bare. The hot breath that burst from Hwang Jangyeop seemed to seep into his skin and melt even his cells. Goosebumps rose on his nape and the back of his ears on their own.

“Haa… uh, nngh… ugh, ah, ngh.”

As Gijeong’s guard crumbled more and more, Hwang Jangyeop pressed his lips to his cheek and ear, nibbling on the shell of his ear and his earlobe, while roughly sliding his hand up his pants. When he squeezed his thigh tightly over the fabric, the well-ironed pants were instantly crumpled.

Sucking on Gijeong’s flesh to his heart’s content—his neck, chest, stomach, without discriminating—Hwang Jangyeop descended and pushed his tongue deep inside his small navel. Gijeong’s waist jerked instinctively, and his pelvis was pressed down heavily. Holding his squirming waist firmly, he dug into the small hole with more persistence. As a tingling sensation shot up from the strange spot and spread to his limbs, Gijeong became noticeably flustered.

“Ngh, don’t, ugh, uh, do, not there, no, ah…!”

He thrashed so desperately that even when held down with force, his whole body trembled. Hwang Jangyeop abruptly sat up and tore off his shirt as if he were ripping it. His sturdy body was clearly revealed in the faint moonlight and the light from the lamp illuminating the yard. The thickly set muscles twitched individually. Hwang Jangyeop took off his pants as well, then grabbed the ankle of Gijeong, who was staring intently at his body, and pulled him forward.

As Gijeong was dragged helplessly, he took his nipple into his mouth and rolled his tongue over it while undoing his belt with urgent hands. As if doing it on purpose, he sucked on the small nub of flesh with exaggerated slurping sounds, and the nipple, which had been suffering from being indiscriminately squashed and sucked, raised its head stiffly. It was his chest being sucked, but heat kept pooling in his groin.

“Nngh, s-stop, th… ngh!”

Perhaps because his mind was racing, the belt wouldn’t come undone easily. In the midst of it, Gijeong even started to shrink away more, making it difficult to get his pants off. Unable to bear it any longer, Hwang Jangyeop let out a low growl.

“Lift your ass if you don’t want your pants ripped.”

It wasn’t an empty threat. The force in his hands gripping Gijeong’s waistband was so immense that he couldn’t possibly think it was a bluff.

Gijeong pressed his lips together firmly and slightly lifted his hips. Then, as if he had been waiting, Hwang Jangyeop pulled down his pants and underwear in one swift motion. As his lower body was suddenly exposed, a cool air rushed in. His heated member shivered. Seeing this, Hwang Jangyeop flicked it lightly with his finger.

“Agh… Nngh…”

Gijeong moaned, his waist trembling from the slight pain. Hwang Jangyeop met the anxious Gijeong’s eyes directly and slowly parted his tightly closed knees. Gijeong’s thighs, instinctively trying to resist, trembled and spread apart with difficulty.

Gijeong’s erect member, having lost its hiding place, was fully revealed. Seeing the piece of flesh swaying as if to tempt him, Hwang Jangyeop became feverish with heat. Without hesitation, he buried his head in Gijeong’s groin and gently traced his member, condensed with his scent, with the tip of his nose. Saliva rapidly pooled in his mouth. Not holding back, he opened his mouth wide and bit down on the fishy-smelling flesh.

“Ha-euuh…!”

Gijeong’s shoulders and chest heaved as he writhed, a thrilling pleasure exploding from his groin. No matter how he tried to hold it back, pained sounds leaked through his tightly clenched teeth. He shook his head violently and kicked his legs to get away, but that only served to further provoke Hwang Jangyeop’s temper. He sucked on the member eagerly, as if he had been starved for days.

“Ha-euh, ah, uh… Nngh, ah…!”

It felt like something was about to be pulled out from inside him. His toes curled on their own, and his fingertips also became sharp, on edge.

Hwang Jangyeop, who had been moving his head rapidly up and down, suddenly took Gijeong’s member all the way to the root. As if that wasn’t enough, he buried his face in deeper, forcing the head of the penis to push into the back of his throat. As if he had made up his mind, Hwang Jangyeop tightened his throat and lips and scraped tightly down Gijeong’s shaft. Gijeong, horrified, groaned in pain.

“Ha-euuh, ha-euh… No, no… Nngh!”

Before long, something thick burst inside Hwang Jangyeop’s mouth. Hwang Jangyeop swallowed all the semen Gijeong poured out before finally spitting out the member, which was now soaked in saliva. The member trembled violently from the intense afterglow.

Hwang Jangyeop sucked and released each side of Gijeong’s relatively dry scrotum, then abruptly lifted Gijeong’s lower body. Then, he wetly licked down the perineum, the stretch of skin from under the scrotum to the hole, and gently pulled one of the soft butt cheeks apart. The hole, which had been buried deep between the cheeks, twitched and revealed itself.

Hwang Jangyeop’s Adam’s apple bobbed 크게. Gijeong, who had gone limp from his release and was panting softly, weakly shook his head. To no avail, Hwang Jangyeop unhesitatingly licked the crease of Gijeong’s buttocks as if tracing it, then began to attack the small hole with the tip of his tongue. The wrinkles around the hole quickly became soaked in the thick saliva. His entire body was being disarmed in an instant.

Hwang Jangyeop, who had been pushing the tip of his tongue inside the hole and gently loosening the entrance, licked his lips with a smack and pulled his head back. He then traced the now-pliable wrinkles around the hole with his finger in a circular motion, before firmly poking inside the primly closed opening.

“Hagh!”

Gijeong tensed his entire body from the somewhat stiff pain and gripped Hwang Jangyeop’s thigh tightly. The thigh that was scratched in the process, however, only stirred more vigorously from the faint pain. Licking his lower lip, Hwang Jangyeop swirled the finger buried in Gijeong’s hole from side to side, widening the inside. The inner membrane wrapped softly around his finger.

Gijeong trembled minutely at the sensation of his insides being steadily packed. A strange mix of impatience and helplessness washed over him. Whatever it was, he just wanted it to be over quickly.

Hwang Jangyeop then lifted Gijeong’s legs and slung them over his shoulders, then bit down hard on his thigh where it touched his cheek. He didn’t stop there, sucking with all his might on the dense skin.

“Ngh…”

While Gijeong was focused on the pain coming from his inner thigh, Hwang Jangyeop pushed in another finger. When he pulled his mouth away, a clear bite mark was left on the smooth skin.

Hwang Jangyeop then leaned his upper body forward and took Gijeong’s lips, which were panting with difficulty, into his mouth. He licked thickly over his entire lips with his own plump tongue, sucked on his upper lip with little smacks, and then pressed Gijeong’s cheeks to make him open his mouth. Then, he pushed his tongue firmly inside and mixed it wildly with Gijeong’s. The saliva that bubbled up in their mouths trickled down their chins.

With his mouth completely blocked, unable to breathe, and his nose being crushed against Hwang Jangyeop’s, Gijeong suffered from a lack of oxygen and kicked his legs. Only then did Hwang Jangyeop pull his lips away from their seamless lock. As his held breath burst out, he even choked. He coughed, cough, cough, and gasped for breath, his lips and chest heaving in unison.

At that disheveled sight, Hwang Jangyeop ground his teeth and hastily pulled out his own member. As if remembering Gijeong’s heated scent, his member reacted, nodding its head up and down. He pressed the rigid thing against Gijeong’s member and rubbed it gently. Soon, transparent pre-ejaculate spread in his hand, and the two pieces of flesh became messily entangled.

Gijeong covered his eyes with his arm and panted, excitement rushing at him from all over his body. At times, as if burning with impatience, he would gnaw on his own swollen lips.

Every time his heated member brushed against Hwang Jangyeop’s, it felt dull, as if being scraped by a rock. The piece of flesh, thoroughly squashed and rubbed, gradually grew red. Perhaps because of his earlier release, it was already radiating a tingling pleasure throughout his pelvis, his body bumping against Hwang Jangyeop’s as if begging for him to do something. A faint, mischievous smile spread across Hwang Jangyeop’s lips.

For some reason, Hwang Jangyeop let go of Gijeong’s member. Then, he just stroked his own, which felt like it was about to burst, leaving Gijeong’s member alone. Sensing something strange, Gijeong lowered his arm and stared at Hwang Jangyeop. Hwang Jangyeop was looking down at Gijeong’s white body, which was flushed red in places, stroking only his own member as if masturbating.

“Nngh… Uuuh…”

Heat was pooling in his groin, making him feel like he was dying, but Hwang Jangyeop continued to ignore Gijeong’s trembling member. Gijeong reached out to touch himself, but Hwang Jangyeop caught that hand as well. He then pressed his own rock-hard member firmly against the entrance of the hole.

As the thick flesh attempted to invade, Gijeong’s entire body went rigid. His inner thighs also trembled, indicating that his tension had reached its peak. Hwang Jangyeop put strength into his lower body and pushed in, starting with the head. As the hole struggled to open and swallow the head, Gijeong’s face turned beet red. A moan also burst out from the dull pain.

“Aghk.”

But that, too, was brief. As soon as Gijeong’s spine stiffened, Hwang Jangyeop pulled his member back out. Contrary to his expectations, his lower parts suddenly felt empty. Gijeong lifted his head again and watched Hwang Jangyeop. Bewilderment was evident on his flushed face.

“…What are you doing?”

“What do you mean, what, you brat.”

Hwang Jangyeop feigned ignorance, acting as if he knew nothing. Unlike his nonchalant attitude, his abdominal muscles were heaving violently, unable to control the overflowing excitement. His member, which he had barely been placating with his hand, also seemed thoroughly pissed off at having only had a taste of Gijeong. It expressed its built-up anger by repeatedly slamming its erect body against his firm abdomen. Yet, Hwang Jangyeop made no move to insert his member quickly.

Hwang Jangyeop’s member had always been a symbol of fear and pain, but now that he was taking his time like this, Gijeong was going crazy with arousal. His body was already fully prepared to accept him, so he was burning with impatience. Without realizing it, Gijeong rubbed his lower body against the floor, urging Hwang Jangyeop on.

“Qu-quickly.”

“Quickly what.”

“Nngh… Stop playing around.”

Hwang Jangyeop still acted shamelessly, asking what prank he was playing. All the while, his own member was shaking furiously, as if it would pierce through his thigh. Gijeong, who was panting with difficulty, suddenly shot up. He then pushed Hwang Jangyeop down to sit on the floor and climbed on top of him. He grabbed hold of the member that had been painfully prodding his thigh and straightened it.

“What the, you brat.”

Even Hwang Jangyeop seemed quite flustered by the sudden development. His intention had been to just hear Gijeong cry and beg for him to do something, but he hadn’t expected him to climb on top of him so boldly. He had thought he was just a shy and awkward bookworm, but he was incredibly audacious.

Hwang Jangyeop twisted the corner of his mouth up into a smirk and supported Gijeong’s sweat-drenched back with his hands. Then, Gijeong sat with his knees up and slowly lowered his body. Hwang Jangyeop’s erect member pushed its way in, scraping and parting Gijeong’s hole. His lower abdomen instantly grew heavy.

“Ngh, uh… Ah, ngh…”

“Haah… Gulp, gulp, you’re swallowing it down well.”

Hwang Jangyeop looked down at their joined parts with a satisfied expression. At times, he would frown at the tight clenching that felt like it would peel off all his skin. Gijeong squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his body further on top of him. Both his tensed butt cheeks spasmed with a jolt as they arduously swallowed the massive member.

“Ah… Ngh… Nngh, uh…”

He tried to take it in as deeply as possible, but in the middle of it, the breath he had been holding finally burst out, and his strength gave out. His body, impaled in an ambiguous way, trembled helplessly.

Hwang Jangyeop calmly stroked Gijeong’s back, which was slick with cold sweat. Then he suddenly grabbed the nape of his neck as if to wrap his hand around it, and as he pressed Gijeong’s body down onto his, he thrust his hips up sharply. Hwang Jangyeop’s member, which had been twitching with dissatisfaction at its unfulfilled desire, was instantly rammed into the distant hole. Gijeong let out a scream-like moan from the pain that pierced through his entire body.

“Aaargh!”

He immediately flinched and covered his mouth with both hands, and as if that wasn’t enough, he buried his head in Hwang Jangyeop’s shoulder. It was because he remembered Giyeong sleeping in the next room.

Hwang Jangyeop, having held back for a bit, thrust his member, which was now thrashing about in a rage, into Gijeong’s stomach without hesitation. The dense inner walls parted just enough for the volume of his member and squeezed the dizzylingly heated flesh with a satisfying tightness. It felt like sparks were flying before his eyes.

“Aghk, nngh, ugh, hagh, ugh, uungh, aht… Hagh!”

“…Ngh, uh, haah, ngh, keuh.”

They ground their raw flesh together again and again, swallowing each other’s breaths. The lewd sound of their pounding echoed and billowed across the empty yard. A terrible pleasure clung tenaciously to his mind, gnawing away at the thread-like remnants of his reason. If he hadn’t held on for dear life, he might have lost his sanity and howled like a beast.

Hwang Jangyeop held Gijeong’s collapsing body firmly in his arms, supporting him, and continued his dissolute pounding until his own lust was satisfied.

They went back and forth on the threshold of paradise several times. His body was shaken to the point where he couldn’t get a grip on his senses, and it felt like what was left of his reason was being completely torn to shreds. If anyone had been loitering around the neighbor’s wall at this late hour, they would surely have thought that someone inside was being mauled by a wild animal. Every time their wet skin met, a stark, squelching sound echoed, shaking him to the bone.

“Uungh, ugh, uwaaaah!”

“Uuugh… Keuuhk.”

Gijeong thrashed as if he were dying. Immediately after, his member, which had been repeatedly rubbing against Hwang Jangyeop’s body, spewed out a thick stream of semen. Hwang Jangyeop’s member, which had been buried in the deepest part of Gijeong’s body, also exploded, spewing out a copious amount of the thickly brewed essence of desire. They clung tightly to each other’s trembling bodies in the deep afterglow that washed over them after their release.

Soon, Gijeong went limp, completely drained. Hwang Jangyeop pulled over the clothes scattered here and there, laid them out like a blanket, and gently laid Gijeong down on top of them. Then, licking Gijeong’s heated cheeks, he slowly climbed on top of his body. Even so, Hwang Jangyeop’s member remained stubbornly buried inside Gijeong’s stomach, as if it still had unfinished business. Even as they continued a series of small kisses, it steadily parted the inner walls and swelled its body.

Gijeong reached out his arms, wrapped them tightly around Hwang Jangyeop’s neck, and closed his eyes. His face relaxed comfortably from Hwang Jangyeop’s warmth and the pleasant languor that washed over him right after their lovemaking. He gently rubbed his cheek against Hwang Jangyeop’s. Their ears brushed together and softly squashed.

From a distance, the chirping of insects sounded atmospheric. The waves, with a splash and a swish, were driving away the heated night and ushering in the calm dawn.

He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep. At the sound of a water droplet falling from the faucet, drip, drip, he faintly lifted his eyelids. He slowly rolled his eyes to scan his surroundings first. But there was nothing particular that came into view. Only the area below his waist felt unusually heavy.

He soon realized why. It was because Hwang Jangyeop was holding Gijeong tightly in his arms. Hwang Jangyeop’s shirt was draped over his naked body like a blanket, and a heavy arm was wrapped around him over it. When he cautiously lifted his head, he saw Hwang Jangyeop’s peacefully sleeping face.

“…”

Tiptoeing his hand out, he traced over Hwang Jangyeop’s thick eyebrows. At just that slight touch, Hwang Jangyeop’s eyes opened cleanly. His eyes, which had been glistening, intoxicated with excitement until just before he lost consciousness, were now refreshingly clear. He must have been quite tired too, having had his way as much as he wanted, but there was no sign of it in his gaze, which stared at Gijeong as if to pierce through him.

“Want to go out for some air for a bit?”

His questioning voice was terribly hoarse. He cleared his throat with a hem, hem. But there was nothing he could do about his already sunken voice.

He let out a small laugh, finding his own strangely hoarse voice amusing. Then, Hwang Jangyeop suddenly pressed his lips to Gijeong’s forehead. When Gijeong flinched in surprise, he gave him a quick peck on the lips and then, without a word, shot up. His muscles, which seemed to move as if they were alive, twitched without fail.

“You said you wanted to go for some air.”

Hwang Jangyeop urged Gijeong, who was staring at him blankly from his lying position, asking if he wasn’t going to get up. Only then did he prop up the back of Gijeong, who was trying to get up hesitantly, with his large hand and sit him up effortlessly.

Although the breeze had cooled his sweat, the damp, sticky feeling that remained all over his body was still there. He felt like he needed to wash up, at least briefly. Gijeong went down to the water tap, naked, and squatted down. Hwang Jangyeop, who had been putting on his own wrinkled shirt after shaking it out, watched the scene with a look of disbelief. Even though it was the middle of spring, the wind that blew at dawn was not necessarily warm.

Hwang Jangyeop watched Gijeong, who was shivering but still scooping up a gourd full of water, and then shot to his feet. He then strode over to the tap in one go and snatched the gourd out of Gijeong’s hand.

“…Huh? Why?”

“This brat, you don’t know how scary a cold wind can be. Are you dying to catch a cold and be all sickly?”

Before Gijeong could even reply, Hwang Jangyeop scooped up a full basin of water into a dented nickel-silver basin. He then lifted it up, went into the kitchen, and brought it back after boiling it to a rolling boil. He mixed that water with the tap water in a large rubber basin. Even just dipping his hand in, he could feel the warmth spreading throughout his body.

“Thank you.”

Gijeong poured the warm water all over his body and lathered up with soap, scrubbing every part of his body until it was squeaky clean. In the meantime, Hwang Jangyeop, who had heated another basin of water, watched Gijeong’s back. Feeling his steady gaze, Gijeong glanced back. It was just that he was wet, but he couldn’t shake off the desire that was momentarily flaring up hotly inside him. Hwang Jangyeop rushed at Gijeong rather aggressively.

“……!”

He trembled faintly in Hwang Jangyeop’s embrace, which held him so tight it felt like he would be crushed. Then, without either of them initiating it first, they grabbed each other’s faces and kissed passionately. The soap suds that had been on Gijeong’s body transferred to Hwang Jangyeop, and the distinct minty scent of toothpaste mixed and spread on their entangled tongues.

It was still too early to start the day, but for a long time, the sound of what seemed like splashing water did not cease in the front yard of Hwang Jangyeop’s house.

It became ceaselessly childish and dissolute. He didn’t know how far it would go, or where it should stop. When he was with Hwang Jangyeop, it was difficult to think rationally. It was as if the glossy shell that had enveloped his core was being torn to shreds, leaving only his instincts. It was dizzying and confusing, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to, either.

The two of them left the main gate side by side and began to walk. Hwang Jangyeop had his hands stuck in his pants pockets and walked about a step ahead of Gijeong. He liked seeing his broad back. Then and now, it made him feel at ease. But for some reason, he didn’t want to do that today.

Gijeong, who had been staring blankly at Hwang Jangyeop’s back, suddenly began to walk with long strides. He caught up to Hwang Jangyeop like that and then abruptly shoved his hand into Hwang Jangyeop’s pants pocket. He could feel Hwang Jangyeop flinch at the sudden action. In that opening, he pulled Hwang Jangyeop’s hand out from the cramped pocket. Then, he interlocked his fingers with his, one by one.

“Let’s walk like this.”

Hwang Jangyeop kept wiggling his thick fingers, as if he were very uncomfortable, but he didn’t shake Gijeong’s hand off, complaining that it was annoying. A smile spread across Gijeong’s face at the sight of him feigning indifference by looking off into the distance, as if he couldn’t handle the awkwardness.

They walked in step along the dark path. He couldn’t tell if Hwang Jangyeop couldn’t move as quickly as usual because he was being held by Gijeong, or if he had intended to match his pace from the beginning. It was just that even such a trivial change felt lovely. His heart fluttered incessantly.

As they got closer to the port, the faint light of a streetlamp flickered. Thanks to that, his vision, which had been all darkness, became about half bright. Gijeong stood for a moment and watched the black, undulating sea. His hair and shirt fluttered and flapped in the wind. Even though the season was spring, with the scent of flowers thick in the air, the fierce sea showed no signs of calming down.

Was he worried that if left alone, Gijeong might be swept away by the wind and fly away into the distance? Hwang Jangyeop suddenly squeezed Gijeong’s hand tighter. Gijeong silently looked down at his hand, into which strength had been fiercely put, and then opened his mouth.

“In the past, whether it rained, or snowed, or the wind blew… I thought none of that mattered, you know? I just thought, as long as the boat could leave so I could go out, that was all that mattered. For the past seven years, I didn’t worry about such things at all. But these days, I find myself worrying even if it’s just drizzling, or if the wind blows a little. Because of you, Mr. Jangyeop.”

“Why me? What about me?”

“What do you mean, what?”

Gijeong looked at Hwang Jangyeop, who was pretending not to know when he clearly did, and let out a small laugh. Hwang Jangyeop turned his head away with a jerk and grumbled.

“It was just that one time… you brat, you worry too much.”

“I hope nothing like that ever happens again.”

“Is that something I can control?”

“I know it’s not up to you, Mr. Jangyeop. Because I know, let’s be more careful.”

There was no particular reply from Hwang Jangyeop. When Gijeong gently pulled on his arm, saying, “Okay?”, he just silently held Gijeong’s hand tight.

They looked at the sea a little longer like that, then started walking again.

“It’s okay to walk a little more, right? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at all today.”

Hwang Jangyeop readily complied with Gijeong’s wishes. The sound of their footsteps, a soft patter, patter, was comforting to the ears.

He liked this moment they were spending together, even without any particular conversation. He never knew that even after becoming a full adult, having someone to lean on and rely on could be so reassuring. Hwang Jangyeop had taught him that.

Passing by the tavern where he had first met Hwang Jangyeop, he headed toward the site of his old home. He hadn’t intended to go there, but the village itself was so small that his steps reached it quickly.

Gijeong stood for a long time in front of the site of his old home, where nothing remained now. If he were alone, he wouldn’t have had the courage to even look around like that, but with Hwang Jangyeop by his side, there was nothing he couldn’t do.

He had to let it all go now. It was a past that made up the Gijeong of today, so even if he couldn’t completely erase it, he no longer had to suffer by reliving those nightmarish days. Enough time had passed, Gijeong himself had grown, and from now on, only good things would happen, so much so that he wouldn’t need to look back again.

Unlike the old days when he had to suppress his own feelings while struggling to solve practical problems, he was now able to face one person with his whole heart. He no longer had to be bound by his own situation, environment, or a gloomy future. That alone was deeply moving.

“Should we get going? Giyeong might wake up.”

He tugged on Hwang Jangyeop’s hand, suggesting they go back. Then, suddenly remembering something, he looked back at Hwang Jangyeop with a playful expression.

“Can’t you give me a piggyback ride just once, like you used to?”

“A grown brat asking for such… what’s so pretty about you?”

Hwang Jangyeop grumbled in a dumbfounded tone, but he presented his back as if he couldn’t win. Gijeong leaped onto it as if pouncing. Even though his full weight was on him, Hwang Jangyeop didn’t even stumble. The strength in the arms that wrapped tightly around his thighs, as if to prevent the Gijeong who was hugging his neck from slipping, was still the same.

Hwang Jangyeop slowly retraced the path they had come. A long, long time ago, he had run down it so precariously, as if he were about to drop Gijeong, but now he took each step with infinite stability.

Gijeong hugged Hwang Jangyeop’s neck even tighter and rubbed his forehead against his nape. His distinctive scent flooded his nostrils. It might not have been a good smell to everyone, but at least to Gijeong himself, it was a scent that provided unparalleled comfort. He gently rested his head on Hwang Jangyeop’s shoulder and murmured nostalgically.

“This is so nice. Really, it’s nice.”

Did it sound too out of the blue? Hwang Jangyeop suddenly stopped in his tracks. He didn’t know if it was his imagination, but it felt like Hwang Jangyeop’s body temperature was rising rapidly from the point where it touched Gijeong. It was still dark, so he couldn’t see well, but it was clear that the back of his ears must have turned red too. He could tell just by the way he was yelling and shouting out of unnecessary embarrassment.

“…You crazy brat, don’t you have any shame?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

He replied with a voice full of laughter and buried his head in Hwang Jangyeop’s shoulder again. Hwang Jangyeop relaxed the tension in his shoulders and turned his head slightly to the side. As he did, his scratchy cheek brushed against Gijeong’s head.

Hwang Jangyeop stood there for a long time, as if embracing Gijeong with his back. Even the strong sea breeze could not shake him in the slightest.

*

“Giyeong, what are you doing?”

He peeked into the kitchen at the sound of something clattering. Giyeong was inside, neatly packing a kettle and bowls into a wicker basket. Giyeong showed the inside of the basket to the drowsy-faced Gijeong.

“I’m going to take a snack to the mister.”

Hwang Jangyeop had been nowhere to be seen since he woke up. It seemed he had gone up to the field while Gijeong was sleeping. Gijeong said, “Let’s go together, hyung,” and hurried down to the water tap to wash his face cleanly first. Then he took the basket from Giyeong, who was just leaving the kitchen, and left the main gate side by side with the boy.

Perhaps because it was the tail end of spring, with summer just around the corner. Greenery was lush everywhere they went. Looking at the foxtail grass swaying in the wind, he felt a strange tickle at the tip of his nose for no reason. At the unexpected presence of people, a grasshopper popped up.

Giyeong quickly swung his hand in that direction, as if to catch it. At that moment, the scab on the boy’s elbow came into view. Gijeong gently grabbed Giyeong’s arm and looked closely at the wound.

“How did this happen?”

“I scraped it while practicing.”

“Practicing? What were you practicing?”