TBM Vol 2 Part 7

Seung-yeon lay down on the bed immediately. A blue dawn light leaked through the slightly parted curtains. With a drowsy, hazy mind, he reviewed his conversation with Il-seo.

He liked him. If they hadn’t been connected through work, he would have truly put effort into a beta male for the first time and willingly mixed bodies.

“Should we sleep together?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m asking if there’s any reason we shouldn’t sleep together.”

To the question thrown to gauge his reaction, Il-seo had left a more composed answer than expected. But he had already missed the opportunity for the good excuse of “under the influence of alcohol.” It was difficult to create a justification for sexually approaching Il-seo, who was working on the same project. So he decided to use another method.

The guy was his fan. This project would mean a great deal to Lee Il-seo, who had been unknown for so long. So he pretended to be particularly unable to concentrate on the bed scene. Sure enough, Il-seo’s expression changed. Even though it was he who was acting terribly, Il-seo became so tense watching Director Chae’s reactions that eventually even he couldn’t concentrate.

To bring Il-seo to his home, he booked the best hotel in the area for Il-seo’s manager and volunteered to drive the three-hour round trip. When he said he would drive and asked for the keys, Hwan couldn’t hide his expression of seeing a ghost and handed over the keys reluctantly.

Seung-yeon chuckled while looking at the van keys in his hand. It was the first time he had put in so much effort for a relationship that would be like a single act of excretion.

That’s how he brought Il-seo home, and when he put on airs and mentioned having a concern, Il-seo’s wavering eyes immediately turned serious. He earnestly coaxed Lee Il-seo with nonsense that was only logical in its tone, essentially asking him to sleep with him.

Seeing him try hard to refuse wasn’t annoying at all—rather, it seemed somewhat cute. Struggling to figure out how to resolve this situation, Il-seo couldn’t hide his troubled expression as he earnestly worked his small head that could be held in one hand with room to spare.

He thought it might be an unreasonable request, so even if refused, it couldn’t be helped. But when Il-seo finally held onto him, Seung-yeon was genuinely happy.

However, as Seung-yeon now reconsidered what had just happened, he ultimately frowned. Sleeping with an actor from the same project. It was not prudent and carried significant risk.

He felt an equal amount of bewilderment as the elation he had felt when Il-seo accepted his proposal. This was because he hadn’t expected himself to make such an irrational and reckless bet.

He had always been the exhausting type to weigh the benefits of actions and try to gain the upper hand. The only time he had rushed in without measuring and weighing such things was once in the past, when that boy was involved. Even then, the result hadn’t been good, and he had regretted it quite a bit.

What would happen with Il-seo? An indescribable unpleasantness lingered, but Seung-yeon concluded.

Even if he could go back to yesterday, he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t try to seduce Il-seo.

***

Il-seo flipped through his script in the car while Seung-yeon drove. Fortunately, today’s filming schedule didn’t include any bed scenes. It was somehow both fascinating and touching that even a veteran actor like Seung-yeon had concerns. He must have reached his current position through constant worry and effort.

While mumbling his lines and turning each page of the script, Il-seo rubbed his eyes.

“Yaaawn…”

His eyes were dry from not having slept a wink, and he couldn’t stop yawning.

“Recline your seat and get some rest.”

“I’m fine.”

“Your eyes are tearing up.”

Il-seo quickly pressed the corners of his eyes, but there were no tears. Looking at Seung-yeon, he saw him grinning—it had been a joke. Il-seo smiled faintly and picked up his script again.

Honestly, last night he thought they would immediately become intimate, but Seung-yeon had just said they should sleep and went to his room first.

Even after lying down on the bed in a daze, he had to toss and turn for a long time. Though the guest room was rarely used, the bedding must be regularly maintained, as a subtle pleasant scent emerged whenever he moved. Despite his tired body and the excessively comfortable luxury bedding, he couldn’t sleep. How could anyone sleep comfortably after hearing such a shocking proposal?

Since first encountering him at seventeen, Seung-yeon had consistently been his idol. Of course, he had once projected his dissatisfaction with his own twisted life onto Sa Seung-yeon, allowing himself an impermissible imagination, but even that had been completely shattered by Seung-yeon’s formidable acting skills.

To mix bodies with such a person. Even while acting, he had to struggle to hold his cramping heart and concentrate, so it was hard to believe he would actually touch flesh with him. If they were to have a relationship, where and when would it happen? What would he look like face-to-face in a quiet space without lighting equipment, cameras, directors, and staff?

Coming to the room without resolving their conversation, his imagination wouldn’t stop. The last thing that filled his mind was the chaotic image of himself entangled with Seung-yeon. Having seen it more than once or twice during monitoring, it wasn’t difficult to picture, which made it all the more tormenting.

‘It’s just practice, acting practice.’

About 30 minutes before he had to get up, Il-seo covered his beet-red face with both hands and exhaled a sigh. Even his breath was hot like warm water. Suspecting something, he moved his hand down to rub below, and feeling it tightly standing, his self-loathing surged even more.

He felt like such garbage for continuously having bad thoughts about Seung-yeon, who was making efforts for the work even to the point of revealing his flaws to a junior.

After catching a bit of sleep like that, the alarm rang. It didn’t feel like he had slept at all. After tidying the bedding and washing up lightly, he went to the living room, where Seung-yeon had already finished preparing and was brewing coffee.

Strangely, as soon as he saw Seung-yeon, all the fatigue that had pooled in his neck dissipated, and his body felt lighter. Matching a light knit with jeans, he had a clear face that showed no signs of having slept less than two hours.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. Did you sleep well, sunbae?”

“I closed my eyes and opened them, and it was over. Would you like some coffee?”

“Ah, yes. Thank you.”

He exchanged a few words with Seung-yeon, who wore a faint smile, and drank the coffee he had brewed. And now they were heading to the filming location together. The subtle heat forming in his chest continuously supplied energy, driving away the fatigue.

Il-seo took a sip of the iced coffee in the cup holder and stealthily observed Seung-yeon driving. His gaze fell on the protruding veins on the back of his hand gripping the steering wheel.

Strange days do come in life. Il-seo’s slightly reddened eyes drifted to the window outside. Just as he couldn’t read the letters despite holding the script, though he was looking at the beautiful autumn scenery, nothing remained in his mind.

The car was quiet, but thanks to the dreamy exhilaration rising from his heart, Il-seo didn’t doze off like he had in the early morning. As they approached the filming location, Seung-yeon initiated a conversation about the scenes they would film today, and they also lightly practiced lines together.

It was a quite different atmosphere from yesterday’s heavy silence on the way home. Perhaps Seung-yeon had found an answer to his worries and was in a slightly better mood. Il-seo was secretly proud that he could be of help to Seung-yeon.

***

“We’re going into the shot.”

As the shot began, Seung-yeon and Il-seo faced each other. Today’s scene mainly involved the two emotionally clashing intensely, so there were many lines, and diction and facial expressions were also important.

In the silence that fell over the set, Il-seo and Seung-yeon exchanged fierce gazes. The conversation they had last night, or rather, early this morning, seemed like a dream as both maintained serious expressions.

Perhaps because there were no bed scenes, it went exceptionally smoothly. They quickly moved to the final scene. It was the scene where Haru grabs Jang Tae-hyun’s arm, but Tae-hyun shakes him off and rushes out of the club.

“Ugh.”

Though it wasn’t a falling scene, perhaps due to the force of pulling his arm away abruptly, he fell awkwardly onto the hard floor. For a moment, his nose stung sharply, but Il-seo first focused on managing his expression. As expected, the OK sign came after quite some time.

“OK. Cut.”

“Are you alright?”

Seung-yeon, who had been standing outside the camera’s frame, approached Il-seo who was still on the ground and extended his hand. Il-seo grabbed his hand to stand up and dusted off his buttocks. Though he smiled slightly to indicate he was fine, Seung-yeon meticulously examined various parts of his body, including his elbows and knees, before releasing his hand. Perhaps because of the proposal they had discussed, even this physical contact felt more sensitive, and everywhere Seung-yeon’s hand brushed felt like it was burning as if touched by fire.

Eventually, Il-seo stood beside Director Chae for monitoring with a heated face. Director Chae, who had been concerned about Seung-yeon’s unusually poor condition yesterday, wore a very bright expression. Seung-yeon and Il-seo nodded as they listened to his feedback.

After completing individual shoots and simple making-of interviews, the schedule ended after ten in the evening. Although a food truck had come and they had managed to eat a late lunch/early dinner, even that couldn’t be eaten properly due to the tight shooting schedule.

Kyung-hyun approached Il-seo, who was rubbing his round, hungry stomach, unwrapped a mandarin-flavored caramel, handed it to him, and asked.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes. I’ll gain weight if I eat something now, right?”

“It’s okay to gain a little, you idiot. Should we go to that spicy stew place? Since it’s late, I don’t think there’s anywhere else comfortable to eat.”

“Shall we?”

They got into the car, chatting casually. At that moment, Kyung-hyun, who had started the engine, reached back with just his arm and handed over a mobile phone. It was surprising that there had been no calls during the entire filming, but as soon as filming ended, it rang like magic.

“You got a message.”

“Yes.”

“When you arrive in Seoul, come to my place.”

“Is there anything you want to eat?”

Heat rushed to his face as soon as he read the message. He went back to the beginning of the message and read through what he had sent carefully. The memory of yesterday, which he had forgotten while filming, came back. Kyung-hyun, who checked through the rearview mirror that Il-seo was staring intensely at the screen with a serious face, asked.

“Who is it?”

“Ah, just. Some advertisements.”

“Then why so serious?”

“Just… because of personal information leakage…”

It was a terrible excuse, but perhaps because all rationality was on edge due to Seung-yeon’s message, he didn’t care at all. When they reached the outskirts of Seoul, Il-seo leaned toward the front seat and said.

“Hyung, I’ll just go straight home.”

“Why? I’m hungry too. Hyung will buy you food.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.”

“You’re not worried about gaining weight, are you? Spicy stew is protein, so you won’t gain much.”

Il-seo bit his lip and shook his head. In fact, since seeing Seung-yeon’s message, his stomach had been churning. Of course, that churning was closer to the good side than the unpleasant one.

Though disappointed about being denied a late-night meal, Kyung-hyun expressed his longing for the taste of that spicy stew place while turning the car toward Il-seo’s rented room. After checking Kyung-hyun’s mood, Il-seo picked up his phone and left a reply to Seung-yeon.

“Yes, I understand. I eat anything well.”

The minivan stopped with its blinker on at the entrance of a narrow alley. Though there was no traffic in the early morning, Il-seo’s mind was already anxious because of his appointment with Seung-yeon.

He hurriedly gathered his belongings and got out. At that moment, Kyung-hyun lowered the window and called out to Il-seo, who was about to rush into the alley. Il-seo, raising his eyebrows slightly, ran back to Kyung-hyun and bent his upper body.

“Yes, hyung?”

“If you’re feeling really unwell, call me.”

“Yes. I will.”

Given the recent emergency room incident, his comment about not feeling well must have weighed on Kyung-hyun’s mind. Seeing the responsible Kyung-hyun made him feel even more guilty.

“Tomorrow’s filming is in the afternoon? It’s fortunate that the morning is relatively free. Get some good rest.”

“Yes, you too, hyung.”

“Ah, after sleeping one night in that hotel, all my fatigue disappeared. It was the best room.”

Il-seo also raised his lips into a smile as he watched Kyung-hyun laugh heartily. Tomorrow morning, they were scheduled to film scenes with supporting actors at a different set first. The reason Seung-yeon asked him to come today was probably because of the relaxed morning schedule.

At that moment, Kyung-hyun’s eyes, which had been looking closely at Il-seo, suddenly became serious. His large hand suddenly touched Il-seo’s forehead. Kyung-hyun pushed back Il-seo’s bangs, checked his forehead once, then his own forehead once, and finally frowned.

“Are you running a fever?”

“It’s because I haven’t been able to sleep properly for days.”

As the filming schedule tightened, his mild fever had persisted for quite some time, and in the car, his entire body had heated up each time he saw Seung-yeon’s message, so it was natural to be mistakenly thought to have a fever. Kyung-hyun, after thoroughly examining Il-seo’s complexion, raised his palm and waved it slightly.

“Alright, go to sleep quickly. Sleep is the best medicine.”

“Yes, hyung. Drive home safely.”

This time, only after making sure Kyung-hyun’s car safely merged onto the main road did he run into his home.