TBM Vol 3 Part 13

As if deep in thought, Sa Seung-yeon pressed his stomach briefly, then slowly pulled out his penis. Just as Lee Il-seo’s brows lowered in a flicker of relief, thinking he was finally being listened to, Sa Seung-yeon leaned in close and dropped to his knees.

Placing a knee beside Lee Il-seo’s ear, effectively caging his face between his thighs, he cupped his cheek, aligned his cock with Lee Il-seo’s parted lips, and pushed inside.

-Then eat it here.

The words, spoken softly, almost tenderly—as if granting a favor—stood in chilling contrast to his actions. He didn’t stop thrusting until he came, forcing the cock deep into Lee Il-seo’s throat, blocking any chance of escape. The semen slid down helplessly.

Even the few streaks of fluid he coughed up and vomited were obsessively swiped and put back into his mouth by Sa Seung-yeon, who rubbed his thumb over his lips and whispered like a snake for him to swallow it all.

After releasing Lee Il-seo’s face, covered in tears and snot, Sa Seung-yeon inserted his long fingers into the small mouth, thoroughly scouring deep inside his tongue. The black eyes, confirming that no semen remained in his mouth, curved prettily.

-You listen well. You’re pretty.

At that moment, Sa Seung-yeon looked down at him with an expression Lee Il-seo had never seen before. Despite the anguish, the sorrow, the unbearable humiliation—knowing that Sa Seung-yeon could look at him with something close to affection made his mind go blank. A strange, broken laugh escaped.

His eyes wept grief, but his lips stretched wide in an almost delirious grin. As if drugged by pheromones, even though he was a beta, he felt, just for that moment, that none of the pain mattered.

You’re crazy, Lee Il-seo.

“We’ve arrived, student. I can’t go into the alley.”

The driver’s voice pulled Lee Il-seo from his spiraling thoughts. He blinked slowly, eyes heavy. The taxi had already reached the front of his one-room building.

“Ah, yes. I’ll get off here.”

Because there wasn’t much traffic at dawn, they arrived earlier than expected. From the base of the hill to the building entrance, and then up to the top floor, he had to stop and rest more times than he could count.

Staggering through the door, he vaguely registered that his stomach would probably hurt if he didn’t do something about what was inside him—but he collapsed on the blanket without bothering.

He wasn’t sure if this feeling of not wanting to move a muscle, not even wanting to grasp the blanket, was due to his battered body or because he was considered a suitable target for such acts.

His pupils dimmed as he slowly blinked. His dry lips parted, and with a piercing pain deep in his chest, a thought surfaced.

He had endured whatever treatment Sa Seung-yeon gave him, solely out of love. But now…

“…I’m getting a bit tired.”

A quiet laugh slipped out. Even his breath felt scalding from the fever boiling inside him. His fragile grip on consciousness finally gave way.

***

When Lee Il-seo was a child, his bed was positioned so he could always see the door. He made a habit of sleeping with it closed—he hated how Kang Hyung-won barged in unannounced. But that night, for some reason, the door had been left half open..

He felt an uncomfortable presence behind him. As he blinked, sensing something was wrong, strange sounds traveled across his body as he lay on his side. It sounded like someone who had sprinted across a field, trying desperately to hold their breath.

Between those chilling breaths, a sticky sound seeped through. His confused gaze twisted in horror. He seemed to know who was behind him and what they were doing, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. It felt as if he turned to face him now, all the silence would shatter and an even worse hell would unfold.

Kang Hyung-won, an Alpha, had always used his brute strength to dominate and confine others in small, helpless spaces. Just that evening, he’d unleashed one of his frequent fits of violence. They had become more frequent, more senseless. The learned fear paralyzed his body.

He closed his eyes tightly in fear and repeated to himself: just ignore it. If he fell back asleep, this memory would become just a blurry fragment of a dream. Praying desperately, he covered his mouth with both hands to prevent his trembling breath from escaping.

Eventually, thankfully, Kang Hyung-won left the room. Only once he heard the door click shut did Il-seo curl under the blanket and exhale, silent tears sliding down his nose. He didn’t dare sob. Not where he might be heard.

The next morning, Kang Hyung-won walked in like nothing had happened and handed him ointment. Seeing that false concern—for injuries he himself had caused—made something crawl inside Il-seo’s chest. He silently packed his bag, ignoring him. But Hyung-won came closer anyway, saying Il-seo wouldn’t be able to reach the wounds on his nape, and extended a hand with ointment smeared on his fingertip.

In that moment, remembering what had happened at dawn, Lee Il-seo reflexively turned his face away, avoiding the touch. Simultaneously, Kang Hyung-won’s eyes flashed yellow with anger.

But after a delayed moment, his expression softened, and he extended his hand again. It seemed that even to him, yesterday’s beating had been excessive, so he was being patient just this once.

Lee Il-seo didn’t avoid the second approach. Instead, he endured by clenching his fists until his fingertips turned white. Just like how he had endured the sounds behind him yesterday, if he endured this, it would be over.

It did pass without incident. But after that day, Il-seo began waking in the middle of the night to make sure the door was closed. Whenever he saw it ajar, those same nightmare sounds returned. And the next day, he’d vomit up anything he ate.

He had wanted to finish high school at least. But as Kang Hyung-won’s behavior grew more twisted, Lee Il-seo knew he had to escape—even if it meant dropping out. He took every night shift, every weekend job he could. And soon enough, Kang Hyung-won noticed.

That day, the beating was brutal. One particularly violent kick caused his previously broken wrist to give way again.. Pain and suffering were sadly familiar. But the fear that he might never be able to play the guitar again arose first. And with it, his guilt towards his unnamed first fan, ‘4566’, who was waiting for his performance, grew.

That was the last day he was beaten by Kang Hyung-won. Filled with anger, he didn’t even shed tears. He endured, thinking only of escaping from that vermin.

Not long after, he passed an audition, arranged for his grandmother to be moved to a different hospital, and ran away. The day he left, all he carried was a bag of clothes and his guitar. As he looked back one last time at the home where he’d lived with his mother and grandmother, the tears he hadn’t shed in so long finally came rushing like a flood..

Lee Il-seo, who had been groaning as if crying with a furrowed brow, suddenly opened his eyes wide. His blurry vision only became clear after several blinks. Wiping the cold sweat from his nape with his palm, he slowly sat up.

“Sh…”

Lee Il-seo cursed quietly, realizing that what had been terribly vivid was just a dream. Of all things, to dream about Kang Hyung-won. Shaking his head slightly, he looked toward the window. Seeing the dim dawn light just beginning to spread, it seemed he had slept for about two hours.

Still covered in filth from Sa Seung-yeon’s place, he forced himself to get up. His body throbbed with pain as if freshly beaten. He washed up, then scrubbed his clothes to remove the blood and semen stains before tossing them in the washer.

As he crossed the small studio apartment, his body lost its will several times and staggered. Unable to bear it, he touched his forehead, finding it still burning with fever.

He took a fever reducer, applied ointment to his wounds, then collapsed on the mattress. As the washing machine spun, he lay still and fell asleep once again.

While sleeping deeply as if unconscious, he instantly awoke to an unfamiliar presence in the room. Startled, Lee Il-seo tensed his shoulders and opened his dry eyes.

The small room was filled with an unfolded drying rack, leaving no space. In front of it, Choi Kyung-hyun, who had been vigorously straightening damp clothes and hanging them on the rack, met his eyes.

“Are you feeling a bit better now?”

Tap tap, this time a towel was spread out and neatly hung on the drying rack. Despite clearly being Choi Kyung-hyun’s voice, appearance, and scent, Lee Il-seo looked at him with anxious eyes, as if confirming it was really him.

Finally, sense returned. His wary gaze softened. Pressing against the mattress, Lee Il-seo sat up. The towel that had been on his forehead slipped to his chin. Choi Kyung-hyun examined his pale face, then resumed folding laundry.

“I couldn’t reach you, so I came by. Thought you were just tired, but I got worried when there was no word.”

“Ah…”

“How tired must you be to fall asleep after starting the laundry? Poor thing.”

Choi Kyung-hyun took out Lee Il-seo’s sweatpants from the basket and spread them out with a few taps. Lee Il-seo clenched his fist under the blanket. Those were the pants that had been covered in blood and semen. Fortunately, all traces were cleanly washed away. After hanging the pants on the drying rack, Choi Kyung-hyun asked with a furrowed brow.

“Where did you stash your phone to go completely out of contact?”

“…It broke.”

“What?”

“I dropped it. It broke…”

He had no choice but to lie. Choi Kyung-hyun clicked his tongue audibly and grumbled.

“Good thing I came. You got hurt trying to avoid a motorcycle, right? Your body is covered in bruises.”

“…”

“Was your face injured too?”

Lee Il-seo flinched again, before slowly nodding. Choi Kyung-hyun must’ve checked him over while lying him on the bed.

Fortunately, there were more bruises and abrasions than bite marks and contusions. It seemed he didn’t suspect anything other than a motorcycle accident.

“Ah. Yes.”

“Even when I said we should go to the hospital, you kept saying you were fine.”

Back then, he had been fine. Not a single injury from the motorcycle accident. The irony was cruel—Sa Seung-yeon, who had once saved his unscathed body, had now left wounds far deeper than flesh, leaving him in tatters all over again.

Fortune had still been on his side, somehow. Even in a daze, he’d managed to wash up, change clothes, and collapse neatly afterward. If he’d been found in the state he was in upon arriving here, Choi Kyung-hyun would have called the police on the spot. After hanging up the laundry that had finished washing but been left unattended, Choi Kyung-hyun plopped down beside Lee Il-seo.

“Let’s go to the hospital.”

“I’m fine.”

“You were just as stubborn after the motorcycle accident, and look at you now. You really need to stop saying you’re fine when you’re clearly not.”

Thinking that Lee Il-seo was being obstinate, Choi Kyung-hyun’s voice gradually rose in frustration.

“We need to go to the hospital to check if anything’s broken, get an IV, file an insurance claim…”

Choi Kyung-hyun trailed off as he looked at Lee Il-seo, slowly lowering his voice. Seeing him sitting weakly with downcast eyes, Choi Kyung-hyun ultimately released a long sigh instead of continuing his nagging.

“Fine. Just lie down for now.”

Gently, Choi Kyung-hyun slipped an arm around Lee Il-seo’s icy shoulders and guided him down. He rewet the towel that had slipped off and placed it back on Lee Il-seo’s forehead. The cold sent a wave of calm through his tense expression. Slowly, Lee Il-seo blinked, then asked in a hoarse voice:

“What day is it today?”

“Wednesday.”

He’d been unconscious for an entire day. Clicking his tongue, Choi Kyung-hyun tucked the blanket up to his chest.

“You’re refusing to go to the hospital because you’re worried about another news article, right? About getting injured during filming.”

Though his guess was wrong, Lee Il-seo didn’t correct Choi Kyung-hyun’s misunderstanding. Choi Kyung-hyun, mistaking Lee Il-seo’s silence for agreement, continued his rambling.

“I understand how you feel. But I feel bad because it seems like you’re suffering too much throughout the filming. When you don’t show that you’re in pain, others will never know.”

“…”

“Yesterday was the wrap party for ‘Temperature of Overflow’, and you couldn’t even attend. They had prime rib. Is it fair that you, the lead actor, couldn’t even have a single bite?”

He hadn’t even known about the wrap party. He had assumed the originally planned party was postponed when Sa Seung-yeon got injured, but it happened yesterday of all days. With no appetite due to his fever, it didn’t really affect him now, but he thought he might miss that prime rib once he recovered.

“Um…”

Lee Il-seo’s lips moved with a sudden thought. Had Senior Sa Seung-yeon come to the party? If so, had he perhaps looked for him?

He suppressed the question that rose to his throat. Instead, he gripped the blanket tighter, fingers twisting in the fabric.. Choi Kyung-hyun noticed the hesitation and tilted his head.

“What is it? Do you need something?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

“I’ll buy you some porridge. Just rest for a while.”

Choi Kyung-hyun patted Lee Il-seo’s tired cheek, put on his jacket, and left the room. After hearing the door lock, Lee Il-seo picked up the mobile phone placed beside his mattress.

“…”

The screen was cracked—shattered, really—and most of it had gone black. A broken LCD was not something he could afford to replace. Thankfully, the touch still worked in one corner. Through the fractured surface, he managed to find the album app. After several taps, a portion of a photo appeared: the reed field Sa Seung-yeon had photographed for him..

Lee Il-seo stared at the photo, which resembled a broken mirror, for a long time, tracing memories that remained only as afterimages of the past. With a bitter smile, he placed the phone face down again. Now, the Sa Seung-yeon and himself in that photo no longer existed. The throbbing pain in his chest reminded him of reality.