TBM Vol 3 Part 17

After the shoot wrapped up, Hwan left first to bring the car around. Sa Seung-yeon wandered near the parking lot, casually scanning for a place to smoke. By chance, he spotted a familiar figure up ahead. Their paths must’ve overlapped—likely because this area was designated for larger vehicles.

The man’s steps, weighed down by a thick padded jacket, were slow and heavy. He looked utterly drained. Unlike Sa Seung-yeon, who turned down most requests, Lee Il-seo seemed to accept everything thrown his way, juggling projects like a man on a relentless treadmill. His schedule might have been even more grueling than the drama they’d just filmed.

Then Lee Il-seo suddenly stopped.

“Ah…”

With a small groan, he clutched his stomach. Sa Seung-yeon, walking at a distance, stopped. Lee Il-seo leaned against the wall in a hunched position and stood still for a long time.

‘What’s going on?’

Was he actually unwell? Sa Seung-yeon’s gaze sharpened, unease prickling at the edges of his thoughts. Just as he was about to step forward, Lee Il-seo straightened—stiffly, awkwardly—and continued walking. A van pulled up moments later, and Lee Il-seo climbed in.

Having missed his timing, Sa Seung-yeon put a cigarette in his mouth while watching the passing van. Like something sticky and unpleasant had been left behind, his gaze kept returning to the spot where Lee Il-seo had stopped.

***

In the quiet living room after darkness had fallen, sounds of sucking and licking, along with anxiously disheveled moans, filled the air. Sa Seung-yeon’s brow slightly furrowed.

He took a slow sip of coffee, eyes fixed on the screen where Lee Il-seo gasped and writhed, breath ragged with heat. The bed scenes had grown more fluid, more natural, as the drama progressed. Too natural. They didn’t look all that different from how they’d been in bed when they were still partners.

Perhaps that’s why the Lee Il-seo on the large screen no longer looked like Haru. 

Crossing his legs, Sa Seung-yeon felt the press of his thighs against something swollen and tense. He’d assumed his libido would stay dormant for a while, especially after recently getting through his rut without much trouble. He’d been wrong.

Whatever button Lee Il-seo’s particularly explicit attire today had pushed, Sa Seung-yeon spent most of the evening watching the bed scenes from ‘Temperature of Overflow’.

Just then, consecutive notification sounds from the messenger app rang on his nearby phone. Sa Seung-yeon raised his eyebrows in anticipation, but cold disappointment quickly filled his eyes.

[There’s someone good at the bar today. A Beta man.]

It was a message from Gu Dong-yeong. Still as impatient as ever, a call came shortly after. Staring at the ringing phone and taking his time, Sa Seung-yeon reluctantly pressed the answer button.

“Hello.”

[So you answer the phone at times like this? Come on. Do I only look like a pimp to you?]

The irritation in Dong-yeong’s voice was justified. The last time they talked, Sa Seung-yeon had promised to show up at the bar but ended up having sex with Lee Il-seo in his apartment instead, leaving Dong-yeong hanging. Since then, he’d ignored every message and call. It was no wonder the man was salty.

And considering how Sa Seung-yeon hadn’t visited the bar even once while dating Lee Il-seo, Gu Dong-yeong probably thought he was being ghosted.  Sa Seung-yeon slightly curled his lips as he replied,

“Who else do I have as a friend besides you?”

[You bastard… You’d better come to the year-end party next month.]

“I’ll come if I have time.”

Reassured, Gu Dong-yeong dove into his usual chatter. Apparently, a new Beta was visiting the bar tonight. An idol trainee from a small agency to which he was connected to. Gu Dong-yeong liked him so much he might’ve made a move himself—if he weren’t already taken.

[Oh, he’s about to debut. He’s just here to network and listen to music, but… Well, would anyone who comes here pass up the chance to sleep with you?]

At the word trainee, Sa Seung-yeon’s interest dipped. He didn’t like flings with people who couldn’t keep their mouths shut afterward. But Gu Dong-yeong, always quick on the uptake, added more: the guy was discreet. Responsible, even.

A trainee about to debut, and someone Gu Dong-yeong himself liked—these facts suddenly made him think of a certain person, but Sa Seung-yeon deliberately erased that image. Lately, these thoughts had been intruding into his daily life quite annoyingly.

“Alright, I’ll be there around eleven.”

He ended the call and tossed the phone onto the sofa. On the screen, his bed scene with Lee Il-seo was still continuing. Habitually putting a cigarette in his mouth, Sa Seung-yeon slowly leaned back on the sofa. Without lighting it, he just repeatedly opened and closed the lighter’s lid.

The bar hadn’t changed. Still dim, still crowded. Gu Dong-yeong had already forgotten his earlier gripes and greeted him with an arm slung around his shoulder. Sa Seung-yeon brushed it off and made his way inside. As usual, his regular seat had been reserved, but he noticed a man already sitting there.

“Ah, here. This is Jung Si-woo I told you about. And you, you know who this is, right?”

Gu Dong-yeong skipped introducing Sa Seung-yeon. Jung Si-woo, who seemed surprised to see Sa Seung-yeon, awkwardly stood up to greet him and then sat back down on the sofa.

Sa Seung-yeon shrugged off his shearling jacket and draped it over the sofa. From the moment he entered, Jung Si-woo hadn’t taken his eyes off him. Their gazes eventually met.

Large eyes with defined double eyelids. Pretty, but flashy. Fair skin, slim frame… though his build was a bit thick despite the height difference. By appearance, he looked about the same age—

Sa Seung-yeon belatedly realized who he was using as a reference point in evaluating this man’s appearance and looked away.

“…”

Feeling a strange headache from something unpleasantly sticky in his mind, Sa Seung-yeon picked up an empty glass and poured himself a drink first.

His gaze swept across the table. Gu Dong-yeong had said he was dating someone, but the man beside him wasn’t the same one. The two of them flirted openly—hands lingering, waists pressed. Neither of them seemed normal.

And then there was Jung Si-woo sitting next to him. Thankfully, he wasn’t very talkative. He quietly drank his alcohol and occasionally laughed while talking with others, but didn’t easily approach Sa Seung-yeon for conversation. Had he been pushy or overeager, Sa Seung-yeon would’ve left already. He quickly downed his drink and reached for the bottle again.

Just then, Gu Dong-yeong snatched the bottle and frowned with one eyebrow.

“Why are you drinking so fast?”

While filling Sa Seung-yeon’s glass, who was drinking as if he wanted to get drunk, Gu Dong-yeong pretended to dissuade him with a disgruntled expression.

“Just. Bored.”

Only after saying it out loud did Sa Seung-yeon realize his own mood.

“Bored? A guy who appears on TV whenever it’s turned on is bored?”

Sa Seung-yeon gave a hollow laugh. His body ached from the packed schedule, but mentally, he felt… empty.

. Gu Dong-yeong grinned and spoke to Jung Si-woo.

“Don’t just sit there, Jung Si-woo, pour him a drink.”

“Is that okay?”

The voice receiving the bottle from Gu Dong-yeong sounded young. Pour what? Sa Seung-yeon grumbled quietly, took the bottle from his hands, and filled his own glass while asking:

“How old are you?”

“Oh, I’m twenty.”

Realizing the almost ten-year age gap, Sa Seung-yeon’s gaze turned to Gu Dong-yeong. Gu Dong-yeong stared back at the obvious look before eventually averting his eyes first. Then, as if feeling more awkward himself, he raised his voice.

“Come on, if they’re an adult, they’re grown up, right?”

 Normally, Sa Seung-yeon avoided relationships with wide age differences. Unaware, Jung Si-woo looked flustered and apologized.

“Sorry, if I made things awkward….”

Though Jung Si-woo apologized as the atmosphere grew heavy, Sa Seung-yeon had no intention of blaming him.

“It’s fine. Is being young a fault?”

Sa Seung-yeon offered a faint smile and took a sip of his drink. At first glance, Jung Si-woo gave off a similar vibe to Lee Il-seo, leading Seung-yeon to assume he was around twenty-three or twenty-four. But upon closer inspection, there was no denying the youth still etched into Si-woo’s features. It wasn’t that Si-woo looked older than his age—rather, Lee Il-seo, at twenty-six, had always looked unusually young.

It suddenly made sense that he had been an idol trainee for a long time. Though acting would suit him too, seeing how well he used his body in action scenes and how well he sang, he would probably look good on stage too.

But why did his thoughts keep drifting to Lee Il-seo? Sa Seung-yeon, deliberately suppressing the curse rising to his throat, silently drank the strong alcohol quickly. As intoxication set in, he craved a cigarette.

“I’m going to smoke for a bit.”

“Just smoke here.”

Instead of answering, he grabbed the cigarettes and lighter from the table and stood up. He could feel Gu Dong-yeong tactlessly following behind him.

“Oh,  Sa Seung-yeon, hello. We met at the screening last time, right?”

“Ah. Yes, hello.”

“Nice to see you. Please visit our place sometime too.”

“Yes, I will.”

As he wandered in search of a quiet spot to smoke, every person he passed seemed to know him. He responded with polite smiles, his eyes crinkling as he exchanged pleasantries.

Eventually, he found a relatively secluded corner. Avoiding the lingering crowd, he looked down, slipped a cigarette between his lips, and lit it. As the smoke burned down, he exhaled slowly, his smile fading into a blank expression. Watching Sa Seung-yeon’s smiling expression slowly sink into a blank one, Gu Dong-yeong belatedly read the atmosphere and slowly spoke.

“What, don’t you like him? His family is really wealthy. You know Jae-yang Construction? He’s the youngest son.”

Lowering his voice, Gu Dong-yeong continued to praise Jung Si-woo, saying that although he hadn’t debuted yet, both his looks and family background were really good.

“You like guys like that, don’t you?”

He meant that Jung Si-woo perfectly met the condition of being ‘someone with a lot to lose’. Moreover, being a beta who liked men was even rarer. However, Sa Seung-yeon had maintained a lukewarm expression throughout the table.

“What, too young for you? How the hell am I supposed to find someone who meets all your conditions and is your age?”

“It’s not that. I’m just not attracted to him.”

Sa Seung-yeon tapped the cigarette ash onto the black ashtray.

“You can make some excuse for me. I need to go.”

“Leaving already?”

“The alcohol’s making me tired too.”

“Even your lies lack effort.”

Knowing Sa Seung-yeon’s high alcohol tolerance, he didn’t buy it, but he didn’t stop him either. With both a movie and drama just released, Sa Seung-yeon’s schedule was packed. The fact that he even showed up tonight was something to be grateful for.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind. That Jung Si-woo kid’s expression changed after you arrived. It’s the first time I’ve seen that haughty kid act like that.”

“Let’s stop talking about someone I don’t know.”

 With that, Sa Seung-yeon stubbed out his cigarette and smiled faintly. Brushing his bangs back with one hand, he returned to his seat. Jung Si-woo’s eyes followed him the moment he stepped into view. As Sa Seung-yeon picked up the shearling jacket he’d tossed on the sofa earlier, Jung Si-woo’s gaze narrowed.

“Oh… Are you leaving already?”

“Ah, yes. I have some work to do.”

Disappointment easily settled in those large eyes. They were easier to read than Lee Il-seo’s. The transparency of someone who had lived without needing to hide or conceal anything seemed somewhat brazen. Sa Seung-yeon curled up the corners of his mouth and said:

“You should go home early too, Jung Si-woo. This isn’t a good place to stay for long.”

Leaving the bar,  Sa Seung-yeon retrieved his car from valet parking. The designated driver, arriving on time, carefully knocked on the back seat door, and  Sa Seung-yeon opened the car door.

“Sewon Hotel, correct?”

“Yes.”

He’d reserved it earlier when heading to the bar. Home would’ve been more comfortable—but tonight, he didn’t feel like going there. Maybe inviting Lee Il-seo into his home had been a mistake. It had seemed convenient at the time, but now, even after things ended, echoes of their time together lingered in every corner. His eyes couldn’t help pausing on places they’d shared.

He put earphones in his ears and closed his eyes. Coincidentally, a song from the album Lee Il-seo had liked during their reed field trip began playing. The songs Lee Il-seo had introduced when they occasionally drank together were good. His playlist, which hadn’t been updated for years, was now filled with songs Lee Il-seo had shared.

Lee Il-seo.

Lee Il-seo.

Lee Il-seo.

Fuck.

Lee Il-seo was intruding like a stumbling block in every part of his thoughts.

He stopped the music and opened his eyes. He picked up his phone, dialed Lee Il-seo’s new number, and pressed the call button.

The ringtone continued for a long time, but ultimately, the call didn’t connect, and a cold machine voice played. Sa Seung-yeon’s brow furrowed. He pressed the call button once more, but the result was the same.

“Ha…”

Why was he wasting so much emotional energy on Lee Il-seo? Sa Seung-yeon put down his phone with cold eyes and turned off the song that had been playing.

He picked up the phone again, and this time, after a short connecting tone, the other person answered.