TBM Vol 3 Part 18

After checking in,  Sa Seung-yeon showered and put on a robe. As he was pouring and drinking whiskey from the minibar, there was a knock on the door not long after. When  Sa Seung-yeon opened the door, a familiar figure stood there awkwardly.

“Come in.”

“Yes.”

Despite the hesitation on his face, Jung Si-woo moved with practiced ease. He slid on the hotel slippers and headed straight to the bathroom, unfazed by the expanse of the suite. Moments later, he emerged in a robe, the belt neatly tied around his waist. He pushed his damp hair back with one hand. 

Jung Si-woo glanced at the bottle on the table, then brought another empty glass from the minibar and sat down next to Sa Seung-yeon. While pouring a drink in his glass, his other hand touched Sa Seung-yeon’s thigh.

Seung-yeon glanced down at the touch. The hand was nothing like the pale, slender fingers that used to cradle a guitar. Right—this was the typical build for a beta man. Lee Il-seo had simply been an outlier, with his unusually omega-like frame. The realization made Seung-yeon cross his legs, breaking the contact.

Having thought of Lee Il-seo yet again, Sa Seung-yeon deliberately stopped his train of thought, forcing himself to be patient. He couldn’t keep harboring lingering feelings for a sex partner who was already gone. It was absurd how he could barely remember what his life was like before meeting Lee Il-seo. Had those fleeting months truly meant so much??

Before becoming partners with Lee Il-seo, he seemed to have spent one-night stands with anyone decent enough, almost out of habit. And except for being too young, Jung Si-woo wasn’t bad for a one-night stand. So, like an impulse, he had called Gu Dong-yeong to get Jung Si-woo’s number and invited him here.

But now, his desire felt like it was evaporating by the second. He downed the strong liquor in long pulls, hoping to dull the emptiness. Si-woo tried to keep pace, but after a few rounds, he groaned and set his glass aside.

After a while, with only Sa Seung-yeon drinking, Jung Si-woo, unable to bear the silence, began to break the ice.

“I really enjoyed your drama, Senior.”

“Did you?”

“It was really entertaining. When Haru died at the end, I cried without even realizing it.”

As soon as he heard the word ‘Haru’, the white face he had been trying to erase filled his mind.  Sa Seung-yeon picked up his phone that he had placed face down. There were still no calls from Lee Il-seo. It was quite late. Remembering how Lee Il-seo had been dozing like a sick chicken in the waiting room, he wondered if he went to bed early.

“I also just learned about this actor Lee Il-seo, and he’s a really good actor. I heard you two are close?”

It was clearly a ploy to keep the conversation going, but the mention of Lee Il-seo made Sa Seung-yeon’s hand paused.

“I heard that Lee Il-seo also wanted to be an idol like me. I hope to act like him someday too… Mmph.”

The glass clinked onto the table. Seung-yeon leaned in and kissed him.

.   Surprised by the sudden kiss, Jung Si-woo reflexively tried to pull away before belatedly grabbing Sa Seung-yeon’s shoulders.

Sa Seung-yeon roughly bit and sucked on his lips. But the more their lips pressed together, the more  Sa Seung-yeon’s brow furrowed. Finally, Sa Seung-yeon opened his eyes. 

The person whose lips he was capturing and tilting his head was not Lee Il-seo. There was nothing similar about them, and even holding his tongue just left him feeling lukewarm inside. There was no fruit-like scent, no sensation of soft flesh that would warm up just from the intertwining of tongues, no breath that would easily become disheveled whenever their eyes met.

“…”

In the end, Sa Seung-yeon pushed Jung Si-woo away first. The kiss ended as suddenly as it had begun, Jung Si-woo looked at Sa Seung-yeon with a dazed expression.

“I’m sorry, Jung Si-woo. I’m not in good condition.”

“What…?”

“Could you go back? I’m sorry.”

Jung Si-woo’s expression quickly hardened. He ran his hand through his hair with a bewildered look, then walked briskly to the closet to gather and put on the clothes he had removed. Sa Seung-yeon walked toward him. Jung Si-woo, holding his coat, looked at Sa Seung-yeon before turning the doorknob.

“Am I really leaving?”

“Here, for your transportation.”

“No thanks, I have plenty of money.”

Jung Si-woo left the hotel room without hiding his irritation. After The door slammed behind him. Seung-yeon rubbed his face, sighed, and sank back into the couch.

Picking up his phone that had been lying face down on the table, Sa Seung-yeon finally frowned deeply. Like an obsession, he pressed the call button. Though it was obvious there would be no answer, his body moved before his thoughts. But after a long connecting tone, instead of the rigid machine voice, a different voice came through.

[Hello?]

At the excessively raspy, small voice, Sa Seung-yeon slightly narrowed his brow, and after some rustling sounds from the other end of the phone, the voice became a bit clearer. He really did seem to have been woken up.

[Oh, Senior…?]

“Yeah.”

[What’s going on?]

“Are you busy?”

[No. It’s fine.]

“What are you doing?”

[Just hanging around.]

Was he asleep? Then why the hell hadn’t he picked up earlier? Sa Seung-yeon slowly closed and opened his darkened eyes. As the silence continued, a voice rang from the other end again.

[Why did you call?]

Did they need a reason to talk? Maybe. Maybe not. Seung-yeon couldn’t tell anymore—was it the alcohol muddling things? The answer left his mouth before his mind caught up.

“I miss you.”

And then he laughed involuntarily. He chuckled at the absurdity of what he had just said—how bewildered must Lee Il-seo be on the other end? After a silence as cold as ice water being poured, a weakened voice was heard.

[Are you drunk?]

Sa Seung-yeon laughed again. This time, it was a silent smile. Slowly removing his smile, Sa Seung-yeon tilted his head back and stared at the dotted lights.

“Yeah, I am drunk.”

[…]

“And I do miss you.”

[…]

“I miss you. Come here.”

A shaky breath came through. Embarrassed, maybe. Trying to hide it. It was late at night, and he was ordering Lee Il-seo, who would likely have a full schedule tomorrow, to come here, but Sa Seung-yeon knew.

The safe, comfortable, and somewhat loose Lee Il-seo would definitely…

[…Where are you?]

…would come anyway.  

Seung-yeon closed his eyes, a faint smile curling his lips. His voice came low and easy.

“Sewon Hotel. If you mention Kim Hwan’s name at the front desk, they’ll guide you to the room.”

Lee Il-seo said it would take a while. Then the call ended. Sa Seung-yeon closed his eyes. An indescribable sense of elation sent a tingling heat from his toes up through his body. His pheromones, which he had given up trying to contain, leaked out uncontrollably.

He refilled his glass, savoring the taste this time. People really were fickle—now that things were going his way, even the whiskey felt richer.

Knock knock.

Just then, a knocking sound came from behind the closed door. It was around the time Lee Il-seo would arrive. Sa Seung-yeon, who had been leaning on the sofa, lightly got up and walked toward the door with wide strides, but stopped abruptly in front of the full-length mirror. The expression that brushed back his disheveled hair seemed strangely excited, so he deliberately hardened his lips before flinging open the door.

“…”

But Sa Seung-yeon’s head tilted as he identified the figure at the door. The person standing in the corridor was Jung Si-woo. As Sa Seung-yeon stood there silently watching, Jung Si-woo spoke first.

“I left something inside.”

“What?”

“My ring. It’s sponsored, so I need to take it back.”

“I’ll bring it to you. Where did you leave it?”

“I can’t remember. Let me look for it.”

The words traded sharp edges. Sa Seung-yeon gave him a lazy once-over, then gestured inside with a flick of his chin.

 After wandering here and there, Jung Si-woo finally entered the bathroom and came out. In his hand was a silver ring. Whether he had taken it off while washing and genuinely forgotten it, or pretended to forget it, he really had left something behind.

Anyway, now that his business was done, Sa Seung-yeon smiled with crinkled eyes and said to Jung Si-woo:

“Get home safely.”

Despite the clean send-off, Jung Si-woo didn’t continue walking and just stared up at Sa Seung-yeon.

“Why…”

“…”

“Am I not your type?”

“Haha. Of course not.”

Sa Seung-yeon wrinkled the bridge of his nose and smiled smoothly.

“You’re attractive, Jung Si-woo. Good-looking. Wealthy, too.”

“Then why do you keep trying to send me away?”

“Hmm.”

The brazen question was cute, but it was also starting to irritate him. It was annoying to see someone who wasn’t the person he expected trying to scheme to stay. But Sa Seung-yeon skillfully maintained his expression that was about to harden.

“Seeing you in the light, you’re not my type.”

It was better to make him give up his lingering attachment quickly. Jung Si-woo’s eyebrows twitched at Sa Seung-yeon’s kind yet cold answer, and then he tightly clenched his fist.

“I left the ring on purpose. Because I wanted to come back.”

Jung Si-woo exhaled a long sigh as he saw  Sa Seung-yeon’s unwavering smile, as if he already knew this, without even a twitch of an eyebrow. He had thought that if he returned, Sa Seung-yeon might play along, pretend to forgive him—just enough to let him in again. But instead, Sa Seung-yeon stood firm.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

“Good. And try to hang out with people your own age.”

“Tsk. I’m asking because I’m genuinely baffled.”

Jung Si-woo, biting his lip, spoke with a slightly heated voice.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Leaning casually against the door, Sa Seung-yeon began to tap it with his finger—tap, tap. The rhythm echoed faintly, almost playful. Then he smiled, boyish and bright.

“A mistake.”

“…”

“I made a mistake because I was drunk. Sorry.”

“Ha…”

“Get home safely.”

Sa Seung-yeon issued his kind eviction order once more. Jung Si-woo had much to say, but fearing his emotions would overwhelm him if he opened his mouth, he merely moved his lips before leaving the room without further comment.

Just then, a phone rang from across the room. Sa Seung-yeon went to the table with quick, wide strides and picked up the phone. The caller was Lee Il-seo. Upon hearing the voice saying he had arrived, Sa Seung-yeon reopened the door he had closed, and this time, the person he had been waiting for was standing there. Sa Seung-yeon smiled brightly, like a child who had solved a difficult problem.

“You came quickly.”

“The buses stopped running… I took a taxi partway.”

Lee Il-seo glanced up, then quickly dropped his gaze upon seeing Sa Seung-yeon in a robe. Sa Seung-yeon, unconsciously raising the corners of his mouth, stepped aside, and Lee Il-seo carefully entered the room.

He wore the same clothes as the last time Seung-yeon saw him—black padded jacket, thin jeans more suited for summer. His ears were red from the cold. The sudden warmth of the room made him shiver, and he hesitated near the entrance, unsure where to go.

“What are you doing? Take off your coat.”

“Ah, yes.”

With the sound of a zipper being lowered, he removed his thick coat, looked around for a place to put it, and neatly placed it on the sofa. Then he took off his hat and lightly shook his flattened hair.

His eyes fell naturally on the table. Two open cheese wrappers. Two glasses, half-filled with alcohol. Sa Seung-yeon, brushing past him toward the minibar, asked lightly,

“What? Do you want a drink?”

“Ah… Yes.”

Sa Seung-yeon brought a new glass and placed it on the table, then pushed one of the two existing glasses away. Lee Il-seo’s clear gaze once again lingered on the distanced glass, and only after  Sa Seung-yeon told him to sit did he slowly move to the sofa.

“…”

Though he had poured him a drink because Lee Il-seo said he wanted one, Lee Il-seo didn’t touch the glass. His expression had been strange from the beginning. With a pale face, just exhaling, his gaze seemed somehow anxious. Neither smiling nor crying, his ambiguous gaze just restlessly scanned various parts of the room.

“What is it?”

“Was someone here and left?”

“Ah, yes. Briefly.”

Sa Seung-yeon took Lee Il-seo’s thin hand that was resting motionlessly on the sofa and placed it on his thigh. The snow-white hand was as cold as if it had been made of snow.

“You must have been cold.”

“…Yes. A bit.”

“Want to use the bathtub? A warm soak might help.”

Lee Il-seo nodded. Rising slowly from the sofa, Lee Il-seo looked around as if searching for the bathroom. Sa Seung-yeon, standing up with him, grabbed Lee Il-seo’s forearm and walked him to the bathroom. Seeing him intimidated and lost in the spacious hotel, Sa Seung-yeon felt frustrated, wondering where the people who had been with Lee Il-seo had taken him all this time.

Upon reaching the bathroom, which seemed even more spacious than his own room, Lee Il-seo’s brown eyes fell on the two opened toothbrushes and disposable toothpaste before wavering again. After blinking several times, Lee Il-seo slowly turned to look at Sa Seung-yeon.

“Did… That person use the bathroom too?”

Only then did Sa Seung-yeon faintly furrow his brow. It would be a lie to say that only he had used it when there were already two opened toothbrushes, and Lee Il-seo’s question carried a strange certainty.

Comparing the time when Jung Si-woo, who had returned to find his ring, left the room and when Lee Il-seo arrived, Sa Seung-yeon exhaled a short sigh. Since Lee Il-seo had arrived shortly after Jung Si-woo left, they must have encountered each other in the corridor or elevator.

“Ah, you ran into each other.”

The moment Sa Seung-yeon admitted it, the tension in Il-seo’s clenched fist slowly released. He rubbed the back of his neck with a dry hand, eyes dropping to the floor to avoid Sa Seung-yeon’s gaze. Sa Seung-yeon ran his hand through his hair and smiled dryly.

“He left something behind. Just stopped by briefly.”

He almost added that nothing happened—but stopped himself. Explaining would feel like justifying something that didn’t need defense. And to do that, he’d have to mention Gu Dong-yeong. He didn’t want to bring that name into this space with Lee Il-seo.

“Use a new one.”

He opened a drawer and handed him a new toothbrush and toothpaste. To indirectly show that it was no big deal, Sa Seung-yeon ruffled Lee Il-seo’s still-frozen hair and left the bathroom first.

Lee Il-seo stayed in the bath for a long time. When he emerged, he was in the same clothes as before, but his hair was only half-dried, and the cold flush had disappeared from his ears and fingertips. Perhaps because his body temperature had risen, Lee Il-seo’s distinctive sweet, fruity scent spread nearby.