TBM Vol 3 Part 3

Sa Seung-yeon and Lee Il-seo sat on a low hillside path sprinkled with blooming white wildflowers. Their lips met softly. Sa Seung-yeon kissed Lee Il-seo’s cheeks in different places, and when Lee Il-seo tilted his head back with a breathy giggle, as if ticklish, Sa Seung-yeon leaned in again. His gaze lingered on those upturned lips, and he kissed him once more.

“Cut, okay.”

At Director Chae’s voice, the two gently pulled apart. They stood and made their way to the monitor to review the footage.

“Are you two actually dating?”

“Does it seem that way?”

Lee Il-seo froze at the director’s teasing, but Sa Seung-yeon only smiled, dimples deepening as he played along. He glanced sideways at Lee Il-seo and lightly tapped his cheek.

“Did we agree to date?”

“What?”

“The kid looks like he’s going to cry!”

At Director Chae’s words, Lee Il-seo awkwardly burst into laughter. Just then, a junior staff member waved from a distance.

“Director, the lunchboxes are here!”

“Oh, really? It’s already that time. Let’s eat first.”

“I’ll join you after eating.”

At the assistant director’s call, the cast and crew stretched and began to scatter. With daylight growing shorter, break times were trimmed, drawing quiet groans from the staff. Lee Il-seo rolled his neck with a small wince and walked slowly toward the food area.

The staff and managers were already gathered, distributing lunchboxes. The savory smell of rice and side dishes filled the air.

Seeing Choi Kyung-hyun busily selecting lunchboxes, Lee Il-seo approached and gently tapped his arm. Choi Kyung-hyun, who had just secured two boxes, looked up quickly, his eyes lighting up as if he’d been searching for him.

“Would you like spicy pork or beef bulgogi?”

“I’d rather just rest. You can have both, hyung.”

“You’re not eating?”

“No. I don’t have much appetite.”

Hearing his firm voice, Choi Kyung-hyun couldn’t press further but repeatedly told him to text if he felt like eating later. Even as Lee Il-seo nodded with a smile, Choi Kyung-hyun’s furrowed brow didn’t smooth out. Understanding what this meant, Lee Il-seo hastily left the lunchbox distribution area before Choi Kyung-hyun could lecture him.

“Thank you, Actor Sa Seung-yeon!”

“I’ll enjoy it!”

“Thank you!”

Though the cold weather and tight schedule had strained the set’s mood, the lunch support from Sa Seung-yeon’s fan club revived the atmosphere. Smiles returned. The staff gathered gratefully to eat.

Lee Il-seo moved against the flow of people, looking for a quiet place. Wandering and looking around, he discovered a bench not far from the filming location and sat down heavily. He opened the bottled water he had brought instead of a lunchbox and gulped it down.

“Hah…”

The wind was brisk, but the view was breathtaking. Wildflowers swayed gently in the breeze. The river flowed beside him, steady and calm. For a moment, he let his tangled thoughts unravel into the scenery..

“Lee Il-seo.”

Just then, a quiet voice accompanied by a familiar scent came from beside him. When he looked up,  Sa Seung-yeon was standing near the bench, holding a lunchbox and water. The fragrance of cologne that  Sa Seung-yeon often wore spread with the breeze. By now, Lee Il-seo even knew which brand of cologne bottles sat on his shelf. Playing his private game of guessing which cologne  Sa Seung-yeon had applied today, Lee Il-seo wrinkled his nose slightly and answered in a small voice.

“Sunbaenim.”

“I was wondering where you were.”

Sitting next to Lee Il-seo,  Sa Seung-yeon asked with a disposable spoon in his mouth:

“Why aren’t you eating?”

His pronunciation was slightly muffled as if he were chewing, which had an uncharacteristically cute aspect to it. With a faint smile, Lee Il-seo replied, “I ate a sandwich.”

“Eat. You’ve lost weight. 2 kilos? 3 kilos?”

Lee Il-seo, who had lost 2.5 kilos, was surprised and just blinked. Sa Seung-yeon extended one of the lunchboxes. Lee Il-seo accepted it reflexively but didn’t open it, letting it rest on his knees.

“You really don’t listen.”

Muttering quietly while looking at Lee Il-seo, Sa Seung-yeon roughly tore off the sticker with his face printed on the lunchbox and opened the lid. Unaware of Lee Il-seo’s nervousness,  he crumpled the plastic and label into a bag without a second glance..

After scooping up a spoonful of rice, he said offhandedly

“I said eat. If your butt gets any smaller, there’s no pleasure in taking you.”

Lee Il-seo looked around in alarm, but fortunately, there was no one around, perhaps because the bench was somewhat distant from the filming area.

“Please… Be careful with your words.”

“Eat before I say something worse.”

“…Yes.”

Yielding at last, Lee Il-seo started peeling off the packaging. He was carefully trying to preserve the sticker—Sa Seung-yeon’s photo looked so good he’d planned to keep it—when the lunchbox was suddenly snatched from his hands.

“Here.”

Sa Seung-yeon’s face from chin to ear was torn at once, leaving only half of the facial photo intact. Feeling dejected, Lee Il-seo rubbed the torn face before opening the lid and scooping rice with the spoon.

Even though the rice had cooled, it still tasted good.. He also scooped up a neatly rolled egg and swallowed it in one bite. Looking at Lee Il-seo’s bulging cheeks, Sa Seung-yeon finally smiled as if satisfied.

By the time  Sa Seung-yeon finished his lunchbox, Lee Il-seo had barely emptied half of his. Even after finishing his meal, Still, Sa Seung-yeon stayed on the bench beside him, gazing out at the river.

In the past, Lee Il-seo would have been uncomfortable, his heart racing with awareness of Sa Seung-yeon’s every movement, but now, after closing his half-finished lunchbox, he sat beside him in quiet comfort. He now felt somewhat comfortable in his presence.

“From here.”

Lee Il-seo suddenly spoke first. Surprised that Lee Il-seo, who usually didn’t initiate conversation or push for it, had broken the ice, Sa Seung-yeon raised one eyebrow and turned his head.

“They say there’s a reed field about 10 minutes away by car.”

“Really?”

“Yes. They say it stretches so wide, you can’t see where it ends.”

“Would you like to go?”

“They say it’s beautiful at sunset. I’d like to take pictures. But I guess there’s no time today?”

He wanted to take photos, or at least videos, to show his grandmother, but it was already past three in the afternoon, and there were many scenes left to film. Sa Seung-yeon looked at Lee Il-seo’s slightly drooping eye corners and then pointed with his finger at the tall grass by the riverbank.

“Just imagine those are reeds. Close enough..”

“Haha, yes.”

Lee Il-seo chuckled, raising a hand to cover his mouth. Sa Seung-yeon watched him closely. He’d been smiling more often lately. When he did, the corners of his eyes folded slightly, his head tipped forward, and his breath left in soft puffs.

“…”

In the scene they’d shot before lunch, Haru had laughed freely in Jang Tae-hyun’s arms. That’s when Sa Seung-yeon realized something—Lee Il-seo had never truly laughed in front of him.. Only from a distance, watching him joke around with Park Jae-ho, had he seen that full, carefree smile..

Even now, he had only faintly smiled, his laughter barely audible. He only showed even this much when they were alone, and even then only occasionally; usually, Lee Il-seo was remarkably dry and calm. His smiling face was much better, but he never smiled widely.

When does Lee Il-seo laugh heartily? He wondered. Just as this idle thought came with the breeze, an unfamiliar voice, along with a camera lens, suddenly intruded.

“Hello.”

 Sa Seung-yeon and Lee Il-seo both turned their heads toward the sound at the same time. The person who greeted them with a youthful voice was the junior director from the production team, holding a camera.

“I’m filming behind-the-scenes!  I was capturing the scenery and spotted you two.”

“Hello. It’s really beautiful here.”

Sa Seung-yeon said, greeting the camera with his usual easy smile. 

Lee Il-seo, trying to smile as calmly as Sa Seung-yeon, pulled up the corners of his mouth fully and waved his hand with the palm showing toward the camera.

“I really enjoyed the lunchbox prepared by Actor Sa Seung-yeon’s fan club today. The fans are curious if everyone is eating well while filming.”

“I always eat well, but thanks to the fans, I ate especially well today. Please love me even if I gain weight.”

Grinning, Sa Seung-yeon held up his empty lunchbox. Lee Il-seo, having only eaten half, kept his own out of frame and just smiled along.. The junior director, perhaps excited by Sa Seung-yeon’s witty responses, continued the impromptu interview.

“Yesterday, filming ended before dinner, right? What did you both do with your rare evening time off?”

Lee Il-seo’s smile momentarily faltered. As the junior director said, filming had indeed ended before dinner yesterday. That was because they had done overnight filming the previous day.

So he had arrived at Sa Seung-yeon’s place early in the evening, and the two had sat across from each other at the dining table, eating a smoked duck set that Sa Seung-yeon had ordered for delivery. And then they had been intimate right there at the table.

As Lee Il-seo’s ears reddened and he fumbled for an answer, Sa Seung-yeon responded first.

“I had dinner with Lee Il-seo-ssi.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Our schedules happened to align.”

Though sweat suddenly broke out on Lee Il-seo’s palms, Sa Seung-yeon remained completely calm. Deciding to go along with Sa Seung-yeon’s lead, Lee Il-seo nodded to the junior director who was looking at him.

“Ah, yes. We ate duck. Sunbaenim treated me.”

“Oh my, you two must have become quite close.”

The junior director beamed and adjusted the camera, framing them with the golden light. At that moment, Sa Seung-yeon wrapped an arm around Lee Il-seo’s shoulders and gently pulled him in. Startled, cheeks flushing, Lee Il-seo froze as Sa Seung-yeon smiled serenely at the lens, thumb rubbing slow circles over his shoulder.

“We’re lovers, after all.”

At  Sa Seung-yeon’s words, the junior director was momentarily taken aback, but soon understood the meaning and played along.

“Ah, right. It hasn’t been long since you two confirmed your passionate love.”

“Yes, please look forward to it  in ‘Temperature of Overflow.'”

After Sa Seung-yeon finished his response, the junior director turned off the recording button, lowered the camera, and let out a small exclamation.

“Wow, you’re truly… Born to be an entertainer.”

“Haha, thank you for working hard to capture behind-the-scenes footage even during break time.”

The junior director smiled awkwardly as if he’d been doing this on someone’s orders, and quickly reviewed the footage.

“Thanks to you both, I got some great footage. Sorry for disturbing you. Please rest!”

The junior director bowed at the waist as if asking forgiveness for his rudeness, then quickly vacated the spot. Just as Sa Seung-yeon crossed his legs and was about to speak to Lee Il-seo about the next scene, Lee Il-seo abruptly stood up from the bench.

“I… I’ll go ahead first.”

“What? Why? Let’s stay together.”

Sa Seung-yeon grabbed Lee Il-seo’s wrist, but Lee Il-seo pulled his hand away and took a step back.

“I’m… I’m cold.”

Remembering the warmth of the fingers that had brushed against his, Sa Seung-yeon said incredulously,

“It’s plenty warmth, what are you talking about?”

“I’ll go ahead first.”

Lee Il-seo hurried away before Sa Seung-yeon could grab him again. Sa Seung-yeon watched Lee Il-seo’s retreating figure with a slightly bewildered expression.

“What’s going on…?”

In front of Park Jae-ho, he’d joke around and smile easily, but in front of him, it was always like this. Either becoming serious, overly tense, or otherwise showing discomfort like this.

He thought they had become a bit closer after meeting regularly recently. But Lee Il-seo always drew a line at unexpected moments like this. He only fully revealed himself briefly when he was underneath him; on set, he was always cold, avoiding eye contact or subtly keeping his distance while pretending not to know.

In the entertainment industry full of people who pretend to be close after just one conversation, he stood apart, rigidly professional, almost to a fault, in drawing the line between public persona and private self.

“He’s so damn difficult.”

Even though it was right to clearly separate public and private in this kind of relationship, Sa Seung-yeon felt irritated for some reason and cursed under his breath as he took out his cigarette pack. The sound of blowing smoke after lighting up while shielding it from the wind with his hand sounded similar to a sigh.

***

As expected, by the time filming ended, it was pitch black without even a trace of sunset or clouds. Looking at the darkened sky, Lee Il-seo stepped into the car with regret in his stride. Having been outdoors all day in thin clothing, his body felt weary as soon as he got in the car.

“Hyung, I’m going to sleep a bit.”

“Sure, you worked hard today.”

Choi Kyung-hyun started the car, letting soft music fill the silence—a quiet lull meant to help Lee Il-seo drift off. It didn’t take long before the sound of deep, steady breathing rose from the back seat. He tapped the steering wheel with his fingers, keeping rhythm with the music and his thoughts.

Thanks to Sa Seung-yeon’s schedule tomorrow, filming for Lee Il-seo would wrap up early. Choi Kyung-hyun, thinking about treating the exhausted actor to some good meat, gently pressed down on the accelerator, picking up speed.

“Lee Il-seo, we’ve arrived.”

“Ah, yes.”

Half-asleep, Lee Il-seo stumbled out of the car and made his way toward the house, steps sluggish with fatigue. On days like this—when filming ended late, or they’d shot on location in the provinces—he didn’t meet up with Sa Seung-yeon. Still, he couldn’t help but check their message thread out of habit, holding on to a flicker of hope. As expected, there were no new messages..

After dragging himself through a quick shower and collapsing onto the bed, Lee Il-seo rubbed his shoulder absentmindedly—the very spot Sa Seung-yeon had touched earlier that day. When Sa Seung-yeon had declared they were lovers,  his heart had nearly leapt out of his chest. And when he realized it was just a joke for promotional buzz, the crash afterward was almost worse—like his heart had dropped to the floor in embarrassment.

‘How can he say such things so easily?’

He envied Sa Seung-yeon’s composure—not changing his expression at Director Chae’s joke about them dating, countering with an even more daring joke, and saying without hesitation in front of the camera that they were dating and in love. He envied it to the point of jealousy, and feeling that if he had stayed there any longer, he might have ended up resenting Sa Seung-yeon, so he had no choice but to leave quickly.

‘He must have been upset…’

Because of his immature feelings, he ended up being rude. Of course, after they resumed filming, Sa Seung-yeon treated him no differently than usual. But that could have been just an act in front of other people.

The worry gnawed at him as he hovered on the edge of sleep. Eventually, he slipped into a nightmare—one where Sa Seung-yeon ended their partnership without a second thought.

He woke at dawn, heart pounding. Realizing it had only been a dream, Lee Il-seo let out a hollow laugh. To think a single sentence could drag someone from the clouds to the dirt and also appear in dreams to torment him.

This strange, fragile closeness he now shared with Sa Seung-yeon weighed on him more than when he’d simply nursed a quiet, one-sided love.