TBM Vol 4 Part 1

He fumbled to turn off the loudly ringing alarm and got out of bed. He sat there blankly staring at the room before slowly checking his phone.

“…”

No messages, except for Choi Kyung-hyun’s usual schedule update. Lee Il-seo briefly smacked his lips and walked to the bathroom.

As he undressed, he caught his reflection in the mirror and froze. With a stunned expression, he walked back out, shoved a spoon into the freezer, then returned to wash up. He had really tried not to cry last night, but the tears had come before the sobs could.

Knowing that holding back tears at times like this would cause internal festering, he just let them soak the pillow until dawn. That was the problem. His mind was fine, but his swollen eyes looked terrible.

“This is bad with a schedule today…”

Groaning under his breath, he pressed the cold spoon against his eyelids as soon as he finished washing up. The chill seeped into his skin and chased away the fog in his head.

Strangely, he didn’t feel crushed or lost. He wasn’t drowning in sadness. Maybe it was because he’d faced Sa Seung-yeon briefly at the hotel yesterday. Even his physical condition seemed better this morning.

As he stared into the cracked screen of his phone—a habit he hadn’t shaken off—he saw his reflection smiling. Bright. Peaceful. He realized he’d been genuinely happy while loving him. Those memories hadn’t vanished. So, nothing had changed.

However, he still felt sorry toward Sa Seung-yeon, who had faced the stagnant, rotting emotions of nine years without any preparation. He must have been bewildered, maybe even disgusted.

With a sigh, he removed the now-warm spoon and dried his hair with calm, practiced motions.

He stepped into the alley just as agreed with Choi Kyung-hyun. December’s winter, approaching Christmas, was still cold, and the wind was biting, but the sky was unusually clear today.

Lee Il-seo spotted Choi Kyung-hyun’s van waiting in the distance. Putting more force into each step across the frozen pavement, he climbed in and greeted him with a cheerful voice.

“Hello.”

“Lee Il-seo, you’re here? Oh, what’s wrong with your eyes?”

He turned to greet me, then blinked, startled. Despite the emergency spoon fix, the swelling was obvious.

“Did you cry? Why are they so swollen?”

He lied about watching a sad movie. Thankfully, his energetic tone seemed to sell the lie, and Choi Kyung-hyun just nagged a little.

“My eyes are so swollen… They look weird.”

“You’re still cute. Even without double eyelids.”

Choi Kyung-hyun smiled and started the car. He rubbed his eyes pointlessly, then pressed the tangerine-ade Choi Kyung-hyun handed him against them. Choi Kyung-hyun tapped the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music and glanced at him.

“You said you’d move once you get paid, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Make sure to find a place with wide parking. I’m tired of fighting illegally parked cars.”

Choi Kyung-hyun shook his head wearily, tired from today’s battle with the numerous illegally parked vehicles. Lee Il-seo covered his mouth with his fist and laughed softly.

Come to think of it, next month’s payday was just around the corner. He had listed things to take care of in order of urgency in his notebook after getting paid, and recently told Choi Kyung-hyun that he would move apartments first.

After that, if income stayed steady, He’d hire a caregiver for his Grandma. If money kept coming in, He’d buy a place with at least two rooms. A real home. They could share with a full-time caregiver for her.

Lately, she’d been eating less and losing weight. As work got busier, it became more difficult to visit the hospital, but the agency had arranged for someone to check in on her and keep her updated. He could somewhat put his mind at ease.

Just then, Choi Kyung-hyun grinned while looking at the rearview mirror.

“Let’s stop by the company today.”

“Oh, why?”

“You’ve received a lot of gifts, so let’s pick up what you need and take some photos too.”

“Really?”

Lee Il-seo lit up like a kid. Choi Kyung-hyun snorted at his reaction but didn’t say anything more.

A lot of packages have been arriving at the company for him lately. Since they couldn’t all be sent to his apartment, the agency had been storing them. He didn’t have personal social media, but posting unboxing photos on the company account seemed like a nice way to thank fans and create memories for himself.

As soon as Lee Il-seo entered the agency after a long time, firecrackers exploded with a ‘pop’ sound near his ears. A crowd of employees had gathered by the elevator, beaming at him. Dazed, he bowed and followed them inside.

Beneath the company wall clock, printed banners read: ‘Congratulations, Welcome Great Actor Lee Il-seo,’ which made Lee Il-seo’s ears turn bright red.

That wasn’t all. Along the hallway, posters displayed rankings and articles: ‘#1 Rookie Actor Expected to Shine Next Year’, ‘Top 3 Blue Chips Chosen by Experts’, ‘Most Noticed New Male Actor by Advertisers’, ‘Ondo Entertainment’s Cutie #1’, and ‘Anticipated Rookie Ranking #1’.

Scratching the back of his head, Lee murmured, “There’s one weird one in there…”

“We did that ourselves! It’s official!”

At the employee’s joke, his face flushed deeper. Though it was clearly exaggerated praise due to his long time as an unknown actor, he couldn’t help but feel good. When Lee Il-seo burst into laughter like someone with air in their lungs, the employees also erupted in giggles.

These were people who had always been warm and kind, even when he was only getting bit parts. Beyond simply celebrating the success of his work, the energy of people who genuinely shared in his success made Lee Il-seo even happier.

“Ah, Actor-nim. We’ve kept your gifts here.”

Guided by the youngest staff member, Lee Il-seo walked in. Gifts were arranged neatly in a circle—perfect for photos—and way more than he expected.

“Wow…”

The colors, the wrapping, the little notes. It all made him smile. He wanted to take everything home, but his tiny studio apartment couldn’t handle it.

He crouched down and began taking photos while discussing which shots to post with the PR team. As they uploaded their carefully written thank-you message, Lee Il-seo started picking out the letters tucked between boxes and bags.

However, he overheard two employees standing at the practice room entrance having a rather serious conversation.

“There were six, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Why is one missing?”

“One cake is missing?”

“Where did we put it? I’m sure we set it aside with the address on it.”

Puzzled, he turned to ask what was going on. The employee furrowed his brows.

“We were going to send it to you by quick delivery today since we thought you might be too busy to stop by. We were worried about desserts like cake spoiling.”

It seemed that one of the gifts that had been set aside was missing. Apparently, a tangerine-topped lettering cake had vanished. Lee Il-seo joined them in scanning the room, even opening a dusty cabinet. Nothing.

The youngest employee, with one hand on his waist, used the other to scratch the side of his head, letting out a sigh of lamentation.

“That’s strange. I definitely set it aside.”

“Maybe you didn’t set it aside but took it for yourself? You’ve been smacking your lips the whole time.”

“No, really, I didn’t!”

Seeing the poor kid flustered, he quickly stepped in.

“It’s okay. Just let me know if you find it. With this many gifts, things are bound to get mixed up.”

With many actors under management, items often got mixed up or missed when managing all the gifts. The youngest employee seemed relieved and let out a small sigh. Lee Il-seo bent down again and began picking out letter envelopes like gleaning grain. Just then, another employee called out to Lee Il-seo.

“Also, Lee Il-seo. Someone came looking for you yesterday.”

“Who?”

“He said he was your father.”

Lee Il-seo’s hand, which had been gathering letters, stopped moving. Turning his head like a rusty robot, he saw the employee who was checking the visitor list smile and continue.

“…My father?”

“Yes, I took down his name… Here it is. Mr. Kang Hyun-won visited.”

Lee Il-seo shot to his feet and instinctively covered his mouth with the back of his hand. His stomach churned. The employee, startled by his reaction, widened his eyes. He steadied himself.

“What did he say?”

“He asked for your address…”

“What?”

Seeing Lee Il-seo’s sharp tone, he quickly raised his hands.

“Of course, we didn’t tell him. It’s strange for a father to be looking for his son’s address through the company. We told him we couldn’t give out personal information on our own and sent him away.”

“Ah… Did he just leave?”

“Yes, he just left.”

It seemed he wasn’t causing trouble like before. Cold sweat trickled down Lee Il-seo’s spine. He’d nearly forgotten about Kang Hyun-won. After realizing his strange behavior at night, Lee Il-seo had lived with the sole intention of leaving home.

He had fled as if erasing himself from the world, or rather, from Kang Hyun-won, and fortunately, he hadn’t encountered him since running away. He thought the ill-fated relationship with him was over, but Lee Il-seo belatedly realized it was because he had been an unknown celebrity.

“Are you okay?”

A nearby employee approached gently. Lee Il-seo gave a slow nod and wiped his damp face with a trembling palm.

It had been eight years. He is older, now wiser, less likely to be blindly victimized like before. And thankfully, his address hadn’t been revealed. It could’ve been worse. Still, there were things the company needed to know.

“That person is not my biological father.”

“What…?”

“It’s personal, but we don’t share a drop of blood, and he’s a truly uncomfortable person.”

Lee Il-seo’s hands began to shake. He clenched them into fists, but it didn’t help much—some of the postcards he’d so carefully collected were now creased and crushed between his trembling fingers. Forcing down the fear bubbling up inside him, he looked at the staff.

“Please don’t tell him anything about me, or about my grandmother. I’m begging you.”

Though he tried to maintain composure, the moment he mentioned his grandmother, his eyes reddened, and the employee nodded repeatedly, saying not to worry. Lee Il-seo frantically walked out of the agency building, pressing down on his pounding heart. He couldn’t feel the cold biting his cheeks or the wind cutting through his flesh.

“Lee Il-seo’s out, sir.”

“Alright, drive safely.”

Choi Kyung-hyun, who had been killing time smoking with CEO Kim, quickly discarded his cigarette upon seeing Lee Il-seo. But as he got closer, he tightened his lips at Lee Il-seo’s increasingly clear, vacant expression.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Lee Il-seo turned his head. Though it wasn’t cold, his body trembled intermittently.

“I… After the schedule today, I need to go to the h-hospital. My grandmother’s hospital.”

“Why, did something happen to your grandmother?”

“No, just… I need to check if she’s doing well, no, I just feel like I need to see her.”

Lee Il-seo’s eyes darted nervously as he slipped into the car. Choi Kyung-hyun climbed into the driver’s seat without another word, glancing at the young man beside him, so full of light earlier in the day, now weighed down by something heavy and unseen.

“Lee Il-seo, do you want to go to the hospital first?”

“What?”

“If we move a bit faster, we can visit your grandmother first. How are you going to handle your schedule in this state?”

At Choi Kyung-hyun’s words, Lee Il-seo bit his lip. When Lee Il-seo finally asked for this favor, Choi Kyung-hyun quickly changed lanes, pressing his foot on the accelerator.

He stared anxiously out the window. The moment he heard that Kang Hyun-won had shown up, his thoughts flew straight to his grandmother. Choi Kyung-hyun’s driving was swift and sharp, and they reached the hospital in record time.

“Huh, huff…”

He ran breathlessly to the hospital room, to the point where he could taste blood in his throat. Fortunately, his grandmother was in the same place, in the same position.

Finally, his mind somewhat calmed, Lee Il-seo collapsed into the caregiver’s chair. Kang Hyun-won still doesn’t know anything. There are many people here, and there’s staff at the entrance, so it should be fine. Lee Il-seo swallowed dryly and firmly held his grandmother’s hand, burying his forehead against it.

Just then, a hospital staff member approached Lee Il-seo.

“Guardian, hello. It’s been a while.”

“Ah, yes.”

“You applied to move rooms before, right? Fortunately, a spot opened up yesterday.”

He’d put in that request ages ago—asked to be moved closer to the window, or at least where the TV was easier to see. In nursing hospitals, available rooms often meant something grim, but still, it was a piece of luck he couldn’t ignore.

“Ah, yes. I’ll move her.”

He carefully pushed her bed into the newly assigned space. The new spot had a great view of the TV—and as if the timing had been orchestrated, a broadcast of his interview with Sa Seung-yeon was airing. His grandmother stared up at the screen, captivated.

Then Choi Kyung-hyun entered quietly, leaning down to whisper, “Lee Il-seo, we need to go now.”

After watching his grandmother gazing intently at the TV, he left the room on time for his schedule.

Choi Kyung-hyun hesitated and carefully asked if something had happened to his grandmother, but Lee Il-seo kept his mouth shut. Nothing bad had happened, contrary to Choi Kyung-hyun’s worries. In fact, his grandmother had even been fortunate enough to move to a spot where she could see the TV.

Recalling the feeling of holding his grandmother’s hand, he clenched his fist. When he gets paid, he will move to a secure home where not just anyone can enter. So really, nothing will happen.

He repeated the thought like a prayer, like a charm meant to ward off the creeping dread. But the knot of anxiety in his chest refused to loosen.