TBM Vol 4 Part 12

Only Lee Il-seo’s occasional sobs filled the silence of the car. Pale with shock, Choi Kyung-hyun knew he should comfort the crying Lee Il-seo, but couldn’t even manage his own expression as hee was too caught in his own shock to reach for Lee Il-seo’s.

“W-what are you saying, Lee Il-seo?”

“…”

“You just manifested, and wh-what? Pregnant?”

As a Beta, it was beyond comprehension. To him, Lee Il-seo had always been like a younger brother, or a nephew. The Omega manifestation alone had taken everything in him to prepare for. All the way to the endocrinology clinic, he’d been rehearsing what to say, how to be supportive, how to react. But this, this was a different level of bombshell.

“You j-just manifested, right? Pregnancy…”

The word lodged in his throat. Choi Kyung-hyun frowned, then shook his head hard, as if that might wake him from this nightmare.

“Could it be a misdiagnosis?”

Lee Il-seo had wanted to believe that, too. Il-seo, who was touching his fingertips, replied in a weak voice.

“I thought that at first… But they did an ultrasound.”

Choi Kyung-hyun squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. He also had memories of going to see an ultrasound with his wife when she was pregnant. He vividly remembered being speechless at the sight of the bean-sized baby in the black and white video, and feeling choked up as he listened to the heartbeat.

He looked at Il-seo, who had confirmed that alone, then shifted his gaze to his stomach. Of course, there was no bump. It was still early, so it wouldn’t show. But the idea that something had been happening to Lee Il-seo all this time without his knowledge was maddening.

“This is absurd.”

It was so unbelievable that the corners of his mouth rose emptily.

“Did you even have… The opportunity to get pregnant? You’ve only been going between the company, the filming set, and home…”

Choi Kyung-hyun rubbed his cheeks vigorously as his breathing became increasingly rapid.

“Whose child is it? When did this even happen? How far along are you? You idiot, if you were going to sleep with someone, the least you could’ve done was use protection—”

He knew he was crossing the line, but frustration pushed the words out of him. Things had finally started going well, and now this? Even if Lee Il-seo hadn’t meant for this to happen, Choi Kyung-hyun couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.

As Choi Kyung-hyun was about to fire more accusatory words, he noticed Lee Il-seo’s hands, covering his eyes, were trembling uncontrollably. His chin, where tears were dropping, was also quivering slightly.

Seeing him frozen with dry, pale lips and a complexion without a hint of blood, Choi Kyung-hyun unconsciously bit his lips and reduced his words. A momentary ache in his chest made it impossible to stay angry.

With a groan, Choi Kyung-hyun suppressed his emotions and spoke in a calm voice.

“Lee Il-seo. Forget the company for now. Han River. Let’s drive to the Han River. Try to calm down during the ride, and when we get there… Tell hyung everything.”

“…”

“You have to tell me… so I can help you somehow.”

Choi Kyung-hyun shifted gears, his expression darkening. It felt like a tangled ball of yarn had lodged itself under his ribs. Lee Il-seo, still covering his face, wiped away his tears silently. When they arrived at Han River Park, Choi Kyung-hyun moved to the back seat to sit beside him.

Sitting beside Lee Il-seo, he lowered his head to check on Lee Il-seo’s condition. Fortunately, by then, he had stopped crying, and his breathing had somewhat returned to its normal pace. However, he kept his head bowed like someone who had committed a crime. Choi Kyung-hyun, tilting his head sideways to meet Lee Il-seo’s eyes, spoke in a gentle but firm voice.

“Lee Il-seo. Look up.”

“…”

“What happened? Tell me everything, don’t leave anything out.”

Lee Il-seo bit his lip and looked at Choi Kyung-hyun. His bloodshot eyes trembled anxiously, and Choi Kyung-hyun took his hand.

“If you lie now, I won’t be able to protect you.”

“…”

“But no matter what you say, I’ll be on your side.”

Tears flowed down Lee Il-seo’s cheeks again. Only Lee Il-seo’s irregular breathing, recalling what had happened, filled the car, and after a few minutes, Choi Kyung-hyun finally heard a name he never expected in the story Lee Il-seo began to share.

For about 20 minutes, Lee Il-seo told everything that had happened with Sa Seung-yeon. The story came out unevenly, some parts out of order, some interrupted by fresh waves of tears, but Choi Kyung-hyun gathered the full picture.

“So you’re telling me the father is Sa Seung-yeon.”

Choi Kyung-hyun neatly erased all unnecessary details for understanding the situation, such as Il-seo having liked Seung-yeon for a long time and the exchange of emotions, and only retraced the necessary conclusions.

“Right? You’re saying he called you during his rut. And there’s absolutely no other possibility for pregnancy.”

“…Yes.”

“That son of a bitch.”

Lee Il-seo’s eyes wavered at the sudden curse. Choi Kyung-hyun, pressing his temples hard, shouted in an excited voice.

“Lee Il-seo, you’re here worrying alone and even received a pregnancy diagnosis. And that fucking bastard chooses today of all days to have his dating news break?”

Choi Kyung-hyun, who rarely used harsh language, was chewing out curses to a savage degree. Lee Il-seo had witnessed Seung-yeon’s dating rumors on TV as soon as he received the pregnancy diagnosis. He thought he wasn’t greatly hurt because his heart was already wrecked beyond repair, but strangely, Kyung-hyun’s harsh swearing made him feel relieved. He must have been upset about the dating rumors after all.

“Ah, and I didn’t even know any of this when I spilled that you were staying at Jae-ho’s place.”

“Ah… he did say he heard it from you.”

“I’m the idiot! Is he some kind of psychopath? This isn’t even a case of causing harm and then offering a remedy. What kind of crazy person brings herbal medicine?”

“I know, right?”

Well, even that was all ruined because he threw it in a fit of anger, so he just wasted money. Il-seo smiled faintly and picked at the hangnail next to his fingernail. The hangnail on his dry fingertip was torn off, and blood seeped out.

Choi Kyung-hyun sat silently for a while, seemingly lost in thought as he looked out the car window. Then, carefully spoke to Il-seo,

“I’m sorry to say this, but let’s think realistically.”

“…”

“You’re going to terminate it, right?”

Lee Il-seo nodded slowly, with certainty this time. He sighed and explained what he’d heard at the hospital to Kyung-hyun.

“But apparently, male Omega abortions are risky. My… Organs aren’t fully developed yet. This hospital can’t perform it. I’ll have to find a bigger one.”

After hesitating briefly, Lee Il-seo continued with an awkward expression.

“Recessive Omega abortions need either the Alpha father… Or a proxy with matching pheromones present. Which means I’d have to tell Sa Seung-yeon sunbae…”

“You have to. He needs to pay the hospital bills. And from what I know, don’t Omegas need therapy? With pheromones?”

Lee Il-seo vaguely knew this too. He had learned that the nausea that had been tormenting his body for weeks was morning sickness, and along with his unstable mood, he was acutely feeling the need for an Alpha’s pheromones, but he lacked the courage to tell Sa Seung-yeon all this.

‘Have a baby and see. You’ll be disgusted.’

Lee Il-seo couldn’t forget Sa Seung-yeon’s cold voice that day, when he first shared his body with Lee Il-seo, saying he would never sleep with an Omega. Pressing the bleeding spot beside his nail, Lee Il-seo answered in a small voice.

“I just… want to terminate it quietly.”

“What are you saying? Doesn’t that fucking bastard need to take responsibility for planting his seed?”

Of course, there was nothing wrong with Choi Kyung-hyun’s words. But just imagining Sa Seung-yeon’s face made Lee Il-seo’s whole body feel drained of strength. Like a deer exposing its neck to a lion, all will disappeared. Perhaps he was so exhausted and distressed by everything with Sa Seung-yeon that he no longer had the strength to resolve anything more.

“I’m not defending him, but… I took a trait test before we slept together. It said I was a Beta. So Sunbae would’ve thought that too. That’s why he called during his rut.”

Choi Kyung-hyun read resignation in his subdued voice. The resignation that even if he told the truth about being pregnant, he would only get hurt. He would probably have to prove that he had manifested as an Omega from the beginning, and the process of explaining whether the pregnancy was Seung-yeon’s biological child would all be nothing more than a cruel confirmation.

And beyond everything, Lee Il-seo no longer wanted anything from Sa Seung-yeon through explanation. The affection he received from him, the excitement, the misunderstandings, the wounds, all had lost their heat long ago.

“I don’t want to worry about his reaction when I reveal the pregnancy, and I’m tired of desperately explaining about a baby I’m going to terminate anyway.”

There wasn’t an ounce of strength in his voice. Suddenly, Choi Kyung-hyun recalled Lee Il-seo’s face turning pale when he had unwittingly scolded him, and began to understand his feelings a little.

“I want to terminate it without anyone knowing. As if it never happened in the first place.”

“If that’s what you want, I can’t force you.”

Choi Kyung-hyun tried to erase his anxious expression and nodded slowly. Lee Il-seo’s eyes looked so precarious that he no longer wanted to impose his own thoughts or opinions.

“For now, let’s not tell the company. You and I will first look for a hospital where surgery is possible without an Alpha.”

Choi Kyung-hyun patted Lee Il-seo’s shoulder as he nodded. If he felt terrible now, what kind of stormy day must Lee Il-seo have gone through? Despite having cried so sadly just moments ago, Lee Il-seo quickly returned to an expressionless gaze, erasing all emotion.

Behind the wheel, Choi Kyung-hyun checked the rearview mirror several times. He wanted to ask what Lee Il-seo was thinking, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. Somehow, his heart felt heavier seeing Lee Il-seo become so calm without uttering a single word about how difficult things were. Lee Il-seo sat with his mouth firmly closed, quietly watching the darkening sky.

***

A brush passed over Sa Seung-yeon’s lips. A red lip gloss, like watercolor paint spreading, layered over his lips.

“Finished.”

At the makeup director’s voice, Sa Seung-yeon opened his eyes and stood up. With wide strides, he walked out of the salon and boarded the waiting van.

“Whew, it’s deadly in here.”

As soon as the salon door closed, the director shuddered, and the assistants who were tidying up the makeup tools also quickly shook their heads while checking the atmosphere outside.

The salon staff had recently been minimizing their words in front of Sa Seung-yeon. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when, but the atmosphere surrounding him had become strangely eerie. The expression ‘scary’ was perfectly fitting.

His eyes, downcast throughout the makeup session, were cold, and his lips, which used to smile brightly, remained tightly closed. When called, instead of answering, he would only turn his eyes to stare directly at the person, and those eyes, too dark to see inside, were like a doll’s, making it even more chilling. Moreover, without any small talk or reactions, Sa Seung-yeon would leave immediately once business was concluded.

His appearance had become sharper as he lost weight, and combined with the cold atmosphere he exuded, there was an indescribable pressure that made the staff approach him with extreme tension every time they had to do his makeup.

“Why is he acting like that?”

“Don’t know. He’s been strange for about a month, but now he’s like a completely different person.”

“Is he developing celebrity disease this late?”

The staff were all considerably shocked because Sa Seung-yeon used to be ranked first in their hearts as a celebrity they wanted to work with, never forgetting greetings no matter how tired he was, mixing jokes when staff made mistakes, and always being generous enough to let things slide.

Some speculated that Seung-yeon was depressed because of the recent dating rumors with Lee Yeon-ju. Even when controversies arose or clickbait articles were published, Seung-yeon had never paid much attention to them, and in fact, he had never been affected even by the slightest influence.

Moreover, Lee Yeon-ju was a national actress as popular as Sa Seung-yeon, and with her history as a child actor, she had a solid core fan base, so although their dating rumors became a hot topic, public opinion wasn’t particularly negative. There were even comments saying that if it were true, they would support both, or even if it wasn’t true, they wished it would become so. Therefore, it was even more impossible to guess why Sa Seung-yeon was in a low mood, and people around him could only watch his reactions cautiously.

“Hyung-nim, we’re departing now.”

Hwan, who probably knew him better than anyone, still felt like he was walking on broken glass. Especially after the dating article leaked. That day, at the company, Sa Seung-yeon had skimmed the draft of the breaking news with an expression Hwan had never seen on him before. After putting down the tablet PC as if throwing it, Sa Seung-yeon pressed his temple firmly and spoke in a low, hoarse voice.

‘Release an official statement saying it’s not true and sue without leniency.’

‘Sa Seung-yeon-ssi, let’s calm down first. We still need to talk with Lee Yeon-ju’s company.’

‘What do you mean calm down when I’m telling you to say it’s not true?’

That was the last time a word of reason flowed from his beautifully crafted face. With a sigh clearly showing irritation, Sa Seung-yeon leaned the back of his head against the sofa and closed his eyes, only to open them again a few seconds later, but by then, his eyes were already half-crazed.

‘I’m already living a shitty life. Those fucking bastards are getting on my nerves.”

Ignoring the PR support team manager and staff who were watching cautiously with shocked eyes, he asked with a furrowed brow.

‘Release an official statement quickly.’

‘S-Sa Seung-yeon-ssi.’

‘This is the most gentle response I can manage, so don’t make me repeat myself.’

Looking at the reported photos, it was clear that Gu Dong-yeong had secretly taken and leaked the information. To think that the only thing that stupid head came up with as an attack was a dating rumor. It wasn’t even a video of them having sex in a hotel, but a sloppy level of provocation that claimed it was a kiss with just one photo of them whispering in the car and their faces overlapping, so Seung-yeon would have laughed it off if it were normal.

But Seung-yeon had only one thought in his head.

Lee Il-seo will see the dating rumors too. That stupid punk wouldn’t believe it, would he?

The ridiculous dating rumors that broke out as soon as he acknowledged his feelings made him furious, so in a way, Gu Dong-yeong’s attack had worked.

Since that day, the company had released an official statement and was proceeding with the lawsuit as Seung-yeon had requested, but Seung-yeon remained unstable. He was carrying out his scheduled activities without difficulty, but the precarious nerve was about to snap at any moment, so the staff were anxious every time they scheduled or coordinated his schedule.

The company employees began to worry about Seung-yeon’s health, thinking that he was experiencing symptoms such as a slump, depression, anger, or burnout, and Hwan was also worried that Seung-yeon had a personal problem that he couldn’t tell him about. But he didn’t have the guts to ask him openly, so he had no choice but to act in a way that would not offend him as much as possible.

“Hyung, we’ve arrived.”

Hwan, who had been watching Seung-yeon countless times in the rearview mirror, carefully stopped the car, and Seung-yeon got out of the car without answering. Before walking into the studio, Seung-yeon paused and took a deep breath.

“…”

Seung-yeon didn’t move easily and stared blankly at the studio. Coincidentally, today’s commercial shoot was with Lee Il-seo. It wasn’t a schedule that Seung-yeon had secretly recommended or forcibly created.

Seung-yeon had heard the news a few days ago. Originally, a famous coffee brand, of which Seung-yeon was the model, was planning an advertisement to promote a newly released hot chocolate line, and Lee Il-seo had been additionally cast. It seemed that the chicken commercial he had filmed with Lee Il-seo had become a sensation, and he had received an advertisement offer.

Seung-yeon was embarrassed. He had asked Lee Il-seo to reject any co-casting offers that came in on his end. This time, he really didn’t do anything, but he didn’t reject the offer either. He was already hated by Lee Il-seo, so if he could get glared at one more time and see his face, it was a worthwhile deal.

“…”

It seems like he’s only doing things that Lee Il-seo hates. Seung-yeon bit his lip once and released it, then entered the studio.

Not long after Seung-yeon arrived on set, the entrance became noisy. Seung-yeon turned his head and saw Il-seo, who was ready, walking into the studio. Lee Il-seo, wearing a plain white knit and dark gray jeans, was bowing to everyone he met as he walked, so his face was barely visible.

Seung-yeon turned his head again. He had to treat Lee Il-seo as usual, but his heart began to beat anxiously, and all input values ​​except for Lee Il-seo’s existence felt dull.

“Okay, let’s go to the set and rehearse!”

“…”

“…”

At the moment of moving according to the director’s guidance, the two people’s eyes met unexpectedly. Il-seo, who had hesitated for a moment, missed the timing to greet him, and Seung-yeon was too late to react in an awkward way, so he froze. Fortunately, the director spoke between the two at a good time, and the frozen atmosphere quickly dissipated.

“I’ve explained the storyboard, so let’s go straight to it. Are you ready?”

The flow of the commercial was simple. It was an advertisement in which the two people naturally made coffee and hot chocolate together in a sophisticated space decorated like a coffee factory, and then looked at each other and drank coffee and hot chocolate. The narration about hot chocolate was to be recorded separately later, so there was nothing difficult or cumbersome.

However, not long after the full-scale filming began, the atmosphere on set became strange.

“Cut.”

It was a series of endless cuts. The director, who was monitoring the screen, tilted his head and stroked his chin.

“That’s weird. Why is it so sad?”

The scene where they each made coffee and hot chocolate went smoothly like water flowing. Every time the faces of the two people in the video were enlarged, they were so visually stunning that he was startled, so he even changed the angle to take additional footage. But the problem was the scene where the two people looked at each other and drank coffee and hot chocolate.

When the two people facing each other smiled, they had drawn a warm and soft image in which the scent of coffee and the sweetness of hot chocolate were conveyed beyond the screen. But the two people facing each other with their glasses looked like they were holding poison in their hands.

“Uh… haven’t you two gotten over the afterglow of the drama yet? You’re totally like Tae-hyun and Haru.”

Neither Seung-yeon nor Il-seo laughed heartily at the director’s joke to ease the atmosphere. Following Seung-yeon’s apology, Il-seo also apologized and lowered his dejected gaze.

“Ahem, let’s go again! Please be a little brighter, you two~”

“Yes.”

“Okay, ready.”

Hearing the Director’s deliberately bright voice signaling, the two faced each other again. Meeting his gaze was still a struggle, but Lee Il-seo desperately managed his expression, thinking that if he didn’t concentrate, the shoot would take longer, and that would only prolong the time he had to spend with Seung-yeon.

Seung-yeon, too, tempered the gaze that was like a cold lake rippling in the harsh wind, making it a little warmer.

The two looked at each other’s faces and took sips of steaming coffee and hot chocolate. Il-seo recalled the orange juice he had at Seung-yeon’s house. Back then, Seung-yeon had even made jokes, and he had been mindlessly immersed in the sweetness of the orange juice, unaware that he was erasing himself.

“Cut, okay. We got one good take.”

Although the okay sign was given, the Director wasn’t entirely satisfied, and there were repeated retakes, saying things like, “It’s good, but let’s go one more time.” They spent much longer filming a single commercial than a single scene in the dramas they usually shot together.

“Cut, okay. Thank you both for your hard work.”

After a long struggle, the filming finally ended. Il-seo, rising with a somewhat tired expression, bowed to the staff and finally said goodbye to Seung-yeon as well. Watching Il-seo quickly turn away and walk away, Seung-yeon paused without realizing it and quickly left the set.

Following Il-seo, who was walking straight toward the exit of the set, Seung-yeon clenched his fist as he watched his heartlessly receding back. The image of him entering Park Jae-ho’s house overlapped in his mind. Just seeing his unrepentant back made his heart race anxiously, just like that day.

He’s holding his back and limping on set, and he keeps staring. Is he feeling sick now?

When they were filming <Temperature of Overflow>, Lee Il-seo’s clear gaze always followed him on set. Seung-yeon had yelled at him, telling him not to look at him. He had thought that Lee Il-seo, who came when he was told to come and left when he was told to leave, was easy and comfortable, but at some point, it became awkward for Lee Il-seo’s gaze to linger on him, and he was the only one chasing after him.

Frowning and biting his lip, Seung-yeon called out to the small back.

“Lee Il-seo.”

“…”

“Let’s talk.”

Just hearing Seung-yeon’s changed voice made Il-seo feel a sudden burning sensation in his eyes. When Il-seo ignored Seung-yeon’s call and started walking even faster, Seung-yeon ended up running halfway and grabbing Il-seo’s arm.

“Just a moment-“

“Don’t touch me.”

Il-seo twisted his wrist and shook off the hand holding him. The gesture wasn’t rough, but the rejection was obvious, and Seung-yeon looked down at his hand that had fallen with a bitter expression.

“…Ah.”

At that moment, Lee Il-seo wrapped his arms around his stomach and briefly groaned. He couldn’t hold back the groan that burst out from the pain that felt like a knife cutting into his stomach. Surprised, Sa Seung-yeon reached out and approached.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

Lee Il-seo struggled to catch his breath and shook his head, but the pain had surged the moment he made up his mind to pull away from Sa Seung-yeon, as if the life growing inside him was crying out, begging for stability by Sa Seung-yeon’s side.

‘Damn obstacle…’

Of course, it was probably manifesting these symptoms out of a desire to live, but right now, even that small presence felt resentful.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He spoke stiffly, but his complexion was so bad and his voice was so low that he didn’t sound threatening at all, which only made Seung-yeon feel more sorry for him. Sa Seung-yeon couldn’t bring himself to say a word of concern or get any closer, and could only stand there and watch.

Lee Il-seo slowly straightened his back and ran his palm over his face. Soon, his cold eyes met Sa Seung-yeon’s.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Give me a moment of your time. I have something to say.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“I know.”

Sa Seung-yeon, as if he had expected that answer, continued without changing his expression.

“Just listen.”

Lee Il-seo looked up at Sa Seung-yeon with cold eyes, but Sa Seung-yeon preferred this face showing some emotion rather than when Lee Il-seo ignored him completely.

Silence fell. Both of them took quiet breaths, trying to steady themselves. Sa Seung-yeon slowly calmed his mind so that he wouldn’t act aggressively toward Il-seo out of anxiety. And Lee Il-seo also took a slow breath, relaxing his eyes, as he knew that running away wouldn’t solve anything.

In the calmed atmosphere, Lee Il-seo felt his insides melting at Sa Seung-yeon’s scent that rose like the wind. Sa Seung-yeon’s pheromones, slowly finding stability, had fully reached Lee Il-seo, the Omega carrying his child.

“…”

Lee Il-seo slowly blinked at the unfamiliar sensation warmly enveloping his body. Is this what a normal body state feels like?

The pain that had been eating away at him since the manifestation subsided, and his foggy head cleared. Even the nausea and heaviness from drinking too much hot chocolate settled completely, which felt miraculous. Realizing all these effects were due to Sa Seung-yeon’s pheromones made him feel helpless.

Lee Il-seo’s eyes wavered. Even if he tried to erase him from his mind, now his body wouldn’t let him forget. It was ironic, in the past, he had been hurt when his precious feelings were treated as mere physical attraction, but now he was truly becoming physically dependent.

Meanwhile, Sa Seung-yeon, taking in the sight of Lee Il-seo, who was staring at the floor, lost in thought, slowly parted his lips.

“I haven’t slept with anyone else since meeting you.”

It was such an unexpected and somewhat absurd topic that Lee Il-seo frowned. Though he didn’t want to, his voice came out stiff immediately.

“…And?”

“Lee Yeon-ju was long before I met you. Maybe Gu Dong-yeong—”

“I’m sorry, but just the conclusion, please…”

Lee Il-seo closed his eyes tightly, then opened them with a hardened expression. He didn’t understand why Sa Seung-yeon was explaining the dating rumors to him, and since he’d already skimmed through the articles, there was no need to hear it again from Sa Seung-yeon. Whether he had dated Lee Yeon-ju in the past or was denying it but actually still seeing her, it had nothing to do with Lee Il-seo.

He was tired. Lee Il-seo let out a small sigh. Why was Sa Seung-yeon holding onto him? Could it be that he didn’t want to be misunderstood as someone easy? Despite having consistently misunderstood Lee Il-seo as a casual person, it seemed selfish that he wouldn’t allow even the slightest misunderstanding about himself. Lee Il-seo narrowed his eyes, then opened them, speaking in an even more subdued voice.

“Just get to the point, please.”

At the unusually cold tone, Sa Seung-yeon hesitated. His lips parted slowly. He raised his eyes to meet Lee Il-seo’s.

The conclusion was simple.

“I like you. Lee Il-seo.”

Sa Seung-yeon’s voice echoed deeply in the empty hallway.

“So don’t misunderstand. Please.”

Lee Il-seo froze like ice, then quickly raised his head. His large eyes, frantically looking around to see if anyone was nearby, were filled with confusion and shock. His hands trembled as if having a seizure, and his breathing immediately became unsteady.

“There are still people…. Are you crazy?”

“I’m about to be.”

“…”

“Really, I feel like I’m slowly going insane.”

Seung-yeon raised the corners of his mouth with a hollow expression, but his distorted eyes were overflowing with emotions that couldn’t be expressed in words. Watching Il-seo, who was standing there blankly in shock at the sudden confession, Seung-yeon continued in a low voice.

“The herbal medicine. Actually, it wasn’t out of concern for your health, nor was it given out of pity.”

“…What?”

“I was racking my brain trying to figure out how to meet you.”

“Sunbae—”

“I went all the way to Park Jae-ho’s house with the medicine as an excuse to see your face once more.”

Sa Seung-yeon placed his hand on the back of his neck and let out a hollow laugh.

“Health? End-of-year gift? They were all pathetic excuses, and I only realized that after seeing your face that day.”

“Wait… stop.”

“It’s not an innocent feeling like pity—”

Lee Il-seo finally reached out and covered Sa Seung-yeon’s mouth. Even though filming had ended, there were still many staff members who hadn’t left. Lee Il-seo’s large eyes were filled with bewilderment, while Sa Seung-yeon, who had spoken those words, remained completely composed, even appearing cold.

Was Sa Seung-yeon always like this? So reckless and imprudent? Lee Il-seo slowly lowered his hand and whispered to Sa Seung-yeon.

“Don’t do this here. Let’s go outside and go somewhere else…”

As Lee Il-seo, led by his emotions, hurriedly tried to move, he staggered.

“Ah…”

Perhaps because he had heard such shocking words, his knees gave way and his legs buckled weakly. Fortunately, Sa Seung-yeon quickly approached and grabbed his arm, preventing him from falling.

Sa Seung-yeon clicked his tongue softly as he held Lee Il-seo’s hand. When Lee Il-seo had covered his mouth earlier, and just now when he supported him, his hand felt like ice. Even though they were still indoors, they were in a passageway leading outside, so the air was cold. The skin covering his gaunt cheeks was so thin that the red and blue veins beneath were visible, making him look fragile.

Sa Seung-yeon let go of his supporting hand and took off the cardigan he was wearing. After draping it over Lee Il-seo’s thin shoulders, he nodded and said, “Let’s go to the car first.”

The moment he wrapped his arm around Lee Il-seo’s shoulders to support him as they walked, Lee Il-seo planted his feet firmly, stopped, and said as he moved away from his embrace,

“I can walk by myself.”

“…Alright.”

Sa Seung-yeon’s hand fell limply, and Lee Il-seo walked ahead toward the exit. Watching the solitary figure walking away, Sa Seung-yeon suppressed his rising emotions and quietly followed him.

***

Sa Seung-yeon made arrangements with Hwan, handing over his card and asking him to wait at a nearby café. Meanwhile, Lee Il-seo texted Choi Kyung-hyun, telling him he’d be with Sa Seung-yeon for a bit. Choi Kyung-hyun’s response was immediate and intense—[If anything happens, text me. I’ll show up with a club]. The image oddly eased the tension in Lee Il-seo’s chest.

A silence that contained both their feelings settled low in the car.

Lee Il-seo pulled up the cardigan covering his shoulders. Seung-yeon’s pheromone emanated faintly from his clothes. When he inhaled the scent, the pain in his lower abdomen subsided, and even his hazy head cleared.

Unlike the studio corridor, the car was enclosed, and their proximity made his pheromones feel even stronger. Without realizing it, Lee Il-seo exhaled a languid breath of increased temperature and firmly gripped the hem of the cardigan.

He wanted to throw it off, saying it wasn’t needed, just as he had rejected Sa Seung-yeon’s hand, but when his body responded so immediately, it was difficult to discard it.

After a long silence, Sa Seung-yeon was the first to speak.

“At some point, whenever I saw you, I started to feel things I couldn’t explain.”

His voice was clean and straightforward. Having calmed his emotions, Sa Seung-yeon slowly retraced his feelings so that Lee Il-seo wouldn’t be startled by his confession.

“You were the one person I could always control. But before I realized it, you became the one person I couldn’t. And it scared me.”

Sa Seung-yeon shrugged once and ran his hand over his cheek.

“So I pushed you away and treated you badly. Then, when you confessed, strangely, my first thought was that it worked out well.”

Sa Seung-yeon raised one corner of his mouth weakly, as if he found his own words absurd.

“Do you know why?”

“…”

“Because I could blame everything I felt on that confession. The confusion, the unease… I convinced myself it was all your fault. That if I cut you off, I could go back to how things were.”

The uncomfortable feeling he experienced whenever he saw Lee Il-seo, he thought he could find stability by blaming it all on Lee Il-seo and escaping. He believed that by dismissing affection as mere physical attraction and forcing emotions to be abandoned, he could return to the comfortable, unburdened past. Back to when he could manipulate Lee Il-seo like a puppet on his palm, feeling that pathetic sense of superiority.

But that was a lie, a smug, self-serving delusion. The unresolved emotions had already become more entangled, and now he couldn’t get out of it without cutting off his own ankles.

“I know it seems ridiculous and absurd that I’m saying this now.”

Sa Seung-yeon shifted his gaze to Lee Il-seo. Lee Il-seo was still looking only at the hem of the cardigan. Sa Seung-yeon’s eyes wandered around Lee Il-seo’s gaunt cheeks, trying to catch his averted gaze.

“I now clearly know that what I feel when I see you is neither pity nor burden.”

“…”

“I like you.”

After those words, spoken with a slightly trembling voice at the end, the room became quiet again. Lee Il-seo, who had maintained silence throughout Sa Seung-yeon’s speech, remained quiet even now that the confession was finished. He was so quiet that even the sound of his sweet, fragmented breathing was barely audible.

“…”

The expressionless white face slowly raised, and at that moment, Sa Seung-yeon felt his heart plummet. This response was something he hadn’t anticipated among his hundreds of predictions.

Lee Il-seo’s auburn eyes were hollow, and the slight curve of his lips carried no warmth. For a moment, Il-seo looked so blank that Seung-yeon doubted whether he had actually confessed.

He wished Lee Il-seo would slap him, or if that was too difficult for the kind-hearted Lee Il-seo, at least curse at him. But Lee Il-seo just held onto the hem of the cardigan, keeping his gaze somewhere near Sa Seung-yeon’s chin.

Seeing that vacant face, Sa Seung-yeon somehow felt his heart being crushed even more painfully.

Trying to pour his heart into a glass that had been broken multiple times, with the fragments awkwardly pieced back together into the shape of a cup, would only result in it breaking again along the cracks. Truly, Lee Il-seo’s empty eyes clearly told him that things had reached an irreversible state.

“Hey?”

Only after calling out anxiously once more did Lee Il-seo slowly blink and meet his gaze. His emaciated, pale face really looked like a doll’s, a doll whose heart had shattered into pieces, with all emotions spilled out.

“Yes. I’m listening.”

“Then please say something—”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Lee Il-seo intertwined his fingers and looked uncomfortable.

“You say you like me.”

He didn’t bother adding, “Now, of all times,” but instead asked softly.

“…And so?”

It wasn’t an accusatory tone or expression. At the end of his careful question was pure curiosity and a calmness born from aimless bewilderment.

“You like me… What am I supposed to do about it?”

Sa Seung-yeon was left breathless by this blankly posed question. Lee Il-seo gazed at the speechless Sa Seung-yeon. Though they were at eye level, he still seemed like a tall, high mountain.

Sa Seung-yeon liked him. It was a dream-like event that he hadn’t dared to hope for in nine years, but now the weight of that emotion was overwhelming. As Park Jae-ho had advised, the balance between Sa Seung-yeon and himself was already like a collapsed mobile. His confession felt so heavy that it seemed as if he would be pushed away forever, unable to look at him from the same height again.

It was so easy to be swayed by Sa Seung-yeon that he felt he would soon forget all the times he had been ignored and trampled on. Despite the clear wounds inflicted by him, he felt like he would pretend not to know, hate himself for suffering, and urge himself to accept quickly.

Even now, he wanted to excuse the moments when Sa Seung-yeon had hurt him, pretend everything was fine, and accept his confession as if he couldn’t resist. If he were to receive Sa Seung-yeon’s love, Lee Il-seo was certain he would forever forget to cherish himself.

“I understand your feelings.”

“…”

“But there’s nothing I can do now.”

The last option was to completely erase himself and accept Sa Seung-yeon. But he didn’t want to do that. At the unexpected cold response, a voice that had lost its composure held Lee Il-seo once more.

“I’m not expecting anything from you, I know I don’t have the right to. It doesn’t matter, so just stay as you are.”

Lee Il-seo’s heart sank at Sa Seung-yeon’s attachment, something he’d never seen before. But he steeled himself. He had no choice.

“I’m not the same anymore. I’ve changed a lot.”

The one Sa Seung-yeon liked was the past Lee Il-seo, who was a Beta. He couldn’t believe Sa Seung-yeon would feel the same after learning he is an Omega, and furthermore, after discovering he is carrying his child. Sa Seung-yeon’s words that he could remain the same were appreciated, but made him feel even more sorrowful. He couldn’t go back to how things were. He had become an Omega and was even pregnant. Too many things had changed.

“I’m leaving, Sunbae.”

“…Lee Il-seo.”

Sa Seung-yeon reached out and grabbed Lee Il-seo’s wrist. Lee Il-seo eventually closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. The words he had been hesitating to say blurted out.

“Have you… forgotten how you treated me?”

“…”

“I haven’t forgotten any of it.”

In the end, he spoke words that would stimulate Sa Seung-yeon’s guilt in order to detach his lingering feelings.