TBM Vol 5 Part 1

Lee Il-seo narrowed his eyes and looked up. The direction of the question was strangely different from what he expected. Sa Seung-yeon hadn’t asked if the baby was Kang Hyung-won’s.

“…”

“…”

In an instant, those pitch-black eyes locked onto him, following his gaze with an almost obsessive intensity. They were sharply focused as if trying to unearth something hidden inside. Though the words were deceptively light and raw, Sa Seung-yeon’s eyes burned more seriously than ever before, causing Lee Il-seo to nearly let out a weak response.

He had wanted to ask, ‘Do you remember that night? The way my heat was triggered because of you? That this child is the result of your violent rut, so take responsibility.’ But voicing that would mean clinging to him, wrapping his arms around Sa Seung-yeon’s neck, and dragging them both into the same abyss he was falling into.

Though he had pushed away his confession, it wasn’t that he didn’t love him. Even if they fell to the bottom together, it would only make Sa Seung-yeon, who had never been hurt from his higher place, suffer more than himself. So, with a feeling like tearing out his insides, Lee Il-seo gave the answer he thought the other wanted.

“No.”

“…”

“It’s not your baby, sunbae.”

At those quiet yet firm words, Sa Seung-yeon’s carefully composed expression finally cracked. Really, was it true that Il-seo wasn’t pregnant with his child, and that’s why he hadn’t contacted him? That someone else, the owner of those bite marks, had impregnated Il-seo.

Sa Seung-yeon clenched his jaw so hard that lines formed on his chin, and simultaneously, a throbbing pain rose in Lee Il-seo’s lower abdomen.

The more he denied and ignored this obstacle in front of Seung-yeon, the more his abdomen ached as if in protest. The pain surged bitterly, like a warning not to forget that it was alive. Though he felt his throat swelling hotly and wanted to spit something out, Il-seo swallowed back all his wavering words and emotions.

Il-seo lowered his head. He told himself this was right, this was the best option. He would be pointed at by everyone as the worst person for carrying his father’s baby, but at least to Seung-yeon, he wouldn’t be the worst human being. Sa Seung-yeon’s irritated face when he had expressed disgust about Omegas getting pregnant strengthened Il-seo’s rationalization.

The suffocating silence stretched on quite long. Though Sa Seung-yeon’s crumpled expression had returned to normal, Lee Il-seo was reaching his limit in bearing his chilly presence. Then, Sa Seung-yeon’s tightly closed lips parted.

“No, let’s say it’s mine.”

At this completely unexpected answer, Lee Il-seo jerked his head up. It felt like a huge rock had dropped into his stomach. The composure he had been carefully constructing shattered instantly, and Lee Il-seo’s eyes trembled. His dry lips quivered before he managed to ask in a questioning voice.

“What?”

“I said, let’s say I’m the father.”

“But that’s…”

“Otherwise, will you really end up as the person who had sex with your father and got pregnant?”

“…”

“The Lee Il-seo I know is too precious to end his entertainment career like this.”

Those pitch-black eyes without a single gap didn’t leave Il-seo’s bewildered face.

“I know I have no right to care about who you slept with and got pregnant by.”

“…”

“But. It’s also true that I called you to me during my rut.”

Seung-yeon spoke in an even lower, clearer voice to the frozen Il-seo.

“That possibility is enough. So let’s say you got pregnant with my baby then.”

“…”

“That’s the only way you’ll survive.”

There wasn’t a hint of hesitation on Sa Seung-yeon’s face. If it had been his usual self, he should have been furious enough to want to wring the neck of an Omega who was holding him back for something like pregnancy.

His hatred for trait carriers who irresponsibly spread their seed and created children had started with his own parents. He’d had more than enough of their selfishness and still found it disgusting. Those thoughts were still clear, but when he considered the slight possibility that Il-seo might be pregnant with his seed, for some reason his lower body grew hot with tension, as if he’d grabbed a rope lowered from heaven.

He wanted to be the only excuse for this fragile Il-seo sitting blankly without any escape. He wanted that baby inside to be the means to bind him. This was the desperate conclusion reached by Seung-yeon, who hated losing more than anything, who was more calculating and selfish than anyone.

Il-seo, who had been staring blankly at Sa Seung-yeon’s sculpted features, suddenly covered his nose and mouth urgently with his hand. For the first time, a rare expression appeared on Seung-yeon’s smooth face.

“Ah…”

A thin stream of blood seeped through Lee Il-seo’s trembling fingers. While Il-seo awkwardly rushed to pull out tissues, the blood that ran down the back of his hand dropped onto the white table and his blue jeans.

Sa Seung-yeon first sensed the unstable pheromones that suddenly flared up and then noticed Lee Il-seo’s breathing becoming blocked and scattered. With the sound of a chair being pulled, Sa Seung-yeon approached the crouching Lee Il-seo with wide strides.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Sometimes… this happens.”

Lee Il-seo staggered up from the table and reflexively reached towards the cabinet containing the pheromone injections. But he suddenly stopped. Perhaps because he was too dazed from the shock coursing through his whole body, he had almost done the foolish thing of injecting his arm in front of him.

In the end, he changed direction and ran into the bedroom. He locked the door and curled up, covering himself with the cardigan hidden behind the pillow. Forget about being embarrassed or whatever. If he didn’t do this, he felt like he would lose consciousness and collapse right away. He buried his face in the part where Seung-yeon’s scent was strongest and took a deep breath. Perhaps because of the tissue blocking one nostril, his scent felt tantalizingly faint.

The symptoms of a pheromone attack continued, his ears buzzing, his heart pounding as if it would burst. Lee Il-seo tightly closed his eyes inside the cardigan and breathed rapidly. His hand, clutching the cardigan, lost will and spasmed intermittently.

“Il-seo. Is this…”

Just then, as the cardigan was pulled away, the voice that had been muffled as if underwater became clear. His tear-filled, trembling eyes met Sa Seung-yeon’s contorted gaze. Turning his head, he saw the pathetically broken doorknob.

A strong force seized his arm, forcing him to stand. After that, Seung-yeon pulled him tightly into his embrace, and his vision was filled with the color of the clothes Sa Seung-yeon was wearing.

The dense, foggy forest scent enveloped his entire body. The strength drained from Lee Il-seo’s fingertips and toes with a tingling sensation, and his knees buckled weakly.

Seung-yeon lightly picked up the body that had collapsed as soon as it was raised and slowly sat down on the bed. Il-seo leaned against Seung-yeon’s chest and exhaled heated breaths. Every time the large hand gently stroked his back, kind pheromones seeped in steadily, gradually calming the attack symptoms.

“…”

Lee Il-seo, who had finally steadied his breathing, gazed intently at the one holding him tenderly. Incredibly, it really was Sa Seung-yeon holding him.

Since he had said they should talk about the damage lawsuit, Lee Il-seo had assumed Sa Seung-yeon would be furious about the pregnancy situation. He had worried that he might hurt him again with words like, “Did you lie to me?” or “Why are you causing problems for the production?” Unlike his heart that had tensed up to defend against these wounds, Sa Seung-yeon had shockingly said he would become the father regardless of who the biological father was.

“Are you feeling better?”

Sa Seung-yeon’s voice sounded muffled. Il-seo had thought it was over between them forever. He’d believed their connection would end if he avoided, ran away, and denied everything, that it was a tilted relationship that would disappear for everyone if only he let go. But now it was Seung-yeon who wouldn’t let him escape. Though he should tell Sa Seung-yeon that it wasn’t his baby for Seung-yeon’s sake, just having him hold and worry about him like this made his eyes sting and feel like he might crumble.

Sa Seung-yeon blurred before him as his vision welled with tears. A peace incomparable to any artificial pheromone injection gently enveloped his entire body, making him feel languid as if submerged in warm water. Lee Il-seo’s eyelids, which had been blinking slowly in this rapturous and unfamiliar sensation, so wonderful he almost wished to suffocate and never wake up, slowly closed.

As Lee Il-seo closed his eyes, Sa Seung-yeon wiped away the tears flowing down his cheeks with his thumb.

“…”

Though Seung-yeon’s face was expressionless as he looked down at Il-seo, who had just stared blankly at him before closing his tired eyes in his arms, his black eyes were sunken more miserably than ever before.

What the panicked young man had buried his face in was Seung-yeon’s own clothing that he had taken off and forgotten long ago. He couldn’t help but imagine how Il-seo must have endured the pain in this narrow room whenever he experienced these symptoms. Mixed drugs, or perhaps the faint remnants of his scent, had been Il-seo’s breathing hole for survival. Seung-yeon carefully stroked the round, sweat-soaked forehead.

“How is it?”

His voice was deeply immersed in feelings difficult to describe in words. But the voice of an Alpha releasing pheromones to stabilize the Omega in his arms would sound warmer than anything else to that Omega.

“Even if I can’t be your lover.”

“…”

“Don’t you think I… do a pretty decent job of pretending to be the father?”

There was no answer. Only the quiet rhythm of Lee Il-seo’s even breath. He had slipped into a deep sleep, comforted by the borrowed warmth. Even the shadows beneath his lashes still held traces of tears and exhaustion. Seung-yeon carefully lay down on the bed while holding Il-seo. Il-seo’s weight fell more deeply onto his body.

A pregnant Omega’s pheromones easily become unstable, and at those times, they need to be close to an Alpha’s pheromones.

If he were the biological father, his pheromones would feel more rapturous to Lee Il-seo than anything else right now. Even if he wasn’t the father, it would still be far more effective than the injections or the small amount of pheromones lingering on those clothes. Sa Seung-yeon released his pheromones very delicately and carefully around Lee Il-seo, subtly mixing in his impure selfishness, hoping that Lee Il-seo would become addicted to this scent and unable to forget him.

While his pheromones quickly stabilized Il-seo, Seung-yeon found Il-seo’s own pheromones, which flowed out defenselessly and unrestrained, to be very pleasant to smell. He had found it hard to believe that Il-seo had become an Omega, but smelling the warm scent spreading at the tip of his nose made the fact finally sink in.

Come to think of it, when was the last time he had fallen asleep so deeply? He couldn’t even remember. Embracing the relaxed body and burying his nose in the slender nape, Seung-yeon also closed his tired eyes.

***

Seung-yeon, who had fallen into a light sleep, awoke to an unpleasant vibration. His sensitive eyes first checked the face in his arms. Fortunately, Il-seo was deeply asleep and didn’t wake up. The vibration was coming from a phone lying face down on the floor. Il-seo must have dropped it when he rushed in.

Seung-yeon reached out and picked up the phone.

“One Heart Care Hospital”

Suddenly, he recalled what Lee Il-seo had said. That his grandmother was in the hospital. Though a call from the hospital wasn’t very welcome, it wasn’t something he could just ignore. He pressed the call button on behalf of the sleeping Il-seo.

[Hello, are you the guardian of Lee Eun-soon? This is the hospital.]

“The guardian cannot come to the phone right now. What’s the matter?”

He thought he heard a brief groan. The bad feeling became reality through the small voice on the other end of the line.

[The grandmother is in critical condition. The guardian needs to come to the hospital quickly….]

Sa Seung-yeon’s grip on the phone tightened. It hadn’t been long since Il-seo had fallen asleep with the help of pheromones. His face looked more peaceful than ever, which made it all the more heartbreaking. Why was Il-seo not allowed even half a day of peace? As Seung-yeon’s jaw tensed, the grandmother’s condition was relayed through the phone.

“I understand.”

He hung up after a brief response. He put down the phone and looked down at the deeply sleeping profile. Il-seo seemed to have forgotten the commotion just now, breathing with a peaceful face. Seung-yeon, who had been greedily taking in the sight of Il-seo without any interruption for the first time in a long while, slightly furrowed his brow in distress. He was reluctant to wake him back to this hellish reality when he had barely fallen into deep sleep.

He counted to ten inwardly. He wanted to let him sleep peacefully, if only for the time it took to count to ten.

As he counted ten, nine, eight, he examined the hair damp with cold sweat and the round white forehead. As he counted seven, six, five, he looked at the tightly closed eyelids and wet eyelashes. As he counted four, three, two, he observed the small nose with dried blood on it.

Finally, after taking in the slightly parted lips, he slowly shook Lee Il-seo’s shoulder.

“Il-seo.”

“…”

“Il-seo, wake up.”

The evenly textured eyebrows twitched. Sa Seung-yeon detached Lee Il-seo from his embrace while gently kneading his cheek. As the closed eyes slowly opened, the amber pupils wandered here and there, unable to get their bearings.

His dazed face, trying to figure out where he was and why he had fallen asleep like this, looked naive like a child dropped in an unfamiliar place.

Il-seo’s eyes landed on Seung-yeon’s face. The clear eyes gradually became more alert, and the relaxed mouth also hardened. From this gradual change in expression, like someone sharpening a blade, Seung-yeon could bitterly tell that Il-seo was slowly waking from the pheromones.

Sa Seung-yeon held out Lee Il-seo’s phone.

“A call came while you were sleeping.”

“…”

“It was your grandmother’s hospital.”

Lee Il-seo’s face instantly became urgent. His hand, after one false move, quickly took the phone.

“They said she’s critical.”

“Ah…”

Lee Il-seo let out a short groan and stood up bracing against the floor, but staggered. Seung-yeon quickly grabbed his arm to support him, but Il-seo shook it off and opened the closet to take out and put on a padded jacket. Even from afar, his white hands pulling the hood down low could be seen trembling.

He hurriedly followed as Lee Il-seo, now wearing a mask, put on his sneakers carelessly and left the house. Sa Seung-yeon spoke to Lee Il-seo, who was anxiously watching only the elevator floor numbers.

“Let’s go in my car.”

“It’s fine.”

Finally, Sa Seung-yeon’s brow furrowed, and he rubbed his forehead with his finger, raising his voice slightly.

“This isn’t the time to be stubborn.”

Of course, it wasn’t that loud, but to Lee Il-seo, who looked on the verge of collapse, even this might sound quite harsh. So Sa Seung-yeon consciously lowered his voice.

“Don’t waste energy on pointless things. Just think about how to see your grandmother as quickly as possible.”

Seeming to understand, Lee Il-seo quietly entered the elevator and remained silent as a mouse even when Sa Seung-yeon pressed the button for the underground parking lot.

Lee Il-seo sat in the passenger seat and entered the hospital location into the navigation system. Though Sa Seung-yeon wanted to hold those trembling hands, shaking as if they had been dipped in ice water, he chose instead to grip the steering wheel and quickly exit the parking lot.

The forecast had warned of a late snowfall, but perhaps due to the warmer-than-expected temperature, raindrops began to form on the car windows. Sa Seung-yeon tried to stay within the speed limit, but urgency overpowered caution. The car’s speed gradually increased, and a few times his driving became so inconsiderate that horn blasts rang out sharply.

Despite the commotion, he couldn’t see Lee Il-seo’s expression as he just stared out the window. This made Sa Seung-yeon even more anxious. Whenever the car stopped, Seung-yeon tried to read Lee Il-seo’s condition, but Lee Il-seo never once turned his head.

In silence, the car finally arrived at the small care hospital. When Il-seo tried to go straight to the room without guidance, a nurse stopped him. The nurse led Il-seo to another room not far away. Blinking his eyes several times in surprise, Il-seo hurriedly entered the small hospital room.

Just before the door closed behind him, Sa Seung-yeon caught a glimpse inside, a room set up for someone’s final moments. A frail silhouette lay beneath thin covers. Lee Il-seo immediately grasped that person’s hand with a small gasp. With that last view of his back, the door firmly closed.

Not wanting to make Lee Il-seo uncomfortable, Seung-yeon didn’t go in, but out of desire, he didn’t leave either. With a somber face, he sat heavily in a waiting chair not far from the room Lee Il-seo had entered.

From beyond the door, the muffled sounds of grief reached him, sobbing, broken murmurs, breathless whimpers. All were Lee Il-seo’s. Seung-yeon’s expression was complex. The sorrow of losing family was an unfamiliar and strange emotion to him. But now, he wondered if Lee Il-seo would be fine having to endure another wound atop so many unhealed ones.

‘Ah… I got this from the nursing home staff when I visited my grandmother.’

Remembering Lee Il-seo’s expression when he spoke about his grandmother, Sa Seung-yeon closed his eyes, leaned his head against the hospital wall, and sighed. Trying to gauge the weight of a stranger’s death that the fragile Lee Il-seo would have to bear, Sa Seung-yeon endlessly watched the door through which Lee Il-seo would eventually emerge.

After quite a long time, Il-seo came out of the room with reddened eyes. Seung-yeon also stood up. As if he hadn’t expected Seung-yeon to still be there, Il-seo’s large eyes grew even larger. Just when Seung-yeon thought he might be told to go home, Il-seo suddenly approached and grabbed his arm.

The hand clutching his coat was still trembling faintly. So white that blue veins showed through, the hand looked fragile.

“She… she passed away.”

Seung-yeon wasn’t sure if Il-seo was speaking out of a sense of obligation to explain the situation to someone who had waited, but to him, it looked like Il-seo was simply speaking without knowing what to do.

“When I visited last time, her condition had clearly improved. She made eye contact and told me to eat more….”

Il-seo rambled in a daze, his eyes empty. His faint pheromones could be felt raging unstably. There were quite a few people around, nurses, hospital staff, and it was impossible to tell who might be trait carrier. Seung-yeon approached Il-seo, embraced him while covering his pheromones with his own, and whispered softly to the small face bowed down like someone who had committed a sin.

“You were with her at the end… She must have gone peacefully.”

Sa Seung-yeon didn’t know how to comfort the sense of loss that he had never felt before and would never feel again. All Seung-yeon could do was repeat common words of comfort and stabilize the unstable pheromone. Il-seo nodded slowly like a broken robot, fiddling only with his fingernails.

After the grandmother’s death pronouncement, Il-seo pretended to be calm, but he became like a person missing a screw. When asked about procedural matters for the funeral, he would say he forgot and only then try to handle them, often becoming flustered and confused.

Lee Il-seo, who hadn’t properly eaten even a sip of the juice left on the table earlier, seemed to have forgotten about eating after his grandmother passed away. When Sa Seung-yeon suggested they eat something, he just let out a weak “Ah…” and nothing more.

In the end, Seung-yeon postponed his schedule and prepared for the funeral with Il-seo. He had a strong feeling that Il-seo shouldn’t be left alone like this.

The funeral arrangements were mostly handled by the service company, except for administrative matters. The funeral was also not large. Choi Kyung-hyun came to help when he heard the news, but there wasn’t much to do as there weren’t many mourners.

Dressed in a black suit with a chief mourner’s armband, Lee Il-seo sat in a corner of the funeral hall with his head bowed. He couldn’t touch the food placed before him. The pressed pork and spicy beef soup were both covered in oil, making even enduring the smell an ordeal. He chewed and swallowed only a few cherry tomatoes from the disposable plate, leaving the rest untouched until they dried out.

“Il-seo, the company staff are here.”

CEO Kim Jin-hong and Ondo Entertainment staff entered the funeral hall. Lee Il-seo quickly got up to greet them and went around the tables for brief conversations. The staff comforting Lee Il-seo couldn’t help feeling sorry, sensing that there was no energy at all in his voice as he tried to respond calmly.

After finishing the flower offering, all the staff raised their eyebrows while looking at one spot. It was because Seung-yeon, dressed in a black suit, was talking with the funeral home staff instead of Il-seo.

“Oh, Sa Seung-yeon is here too?”

“When we arrived earlier, he was smoking outside. I guess he’s been here the whole time.”

Only then did Lee Il-seo turn his head toward Sa Seung-yeon. Seeing Sa Seung-yeon examining the documents handed to him by the staff, it seemed Lee Il-seo had forgotten about some administrative procedure again, and Sa Seung-yeon was handling it for him.

“…I guess so.”

Hearing Lee Il-seo’s vague response as he blankly stared at Sa Seung-yeon, the staff left the funeral hall with faint expressions of confusion.

After seeing off the staff, Lee Il-seo sat alone at an empty table again. Sa Seung-yeon approached and sat beside him. He opened the convenience store bag he was holding and took out its contents toward Lee Il-seo. It was instant porridge and tangerine-flavored juice.

“Let’s eat.”

Seung-yeon skillfully opened the porridge, heated it, and even added the provided sesame oil before setting it down. In front of Il-seo was the instant porridge, and in front of Seung-yeon was the spicy beef soup. After taking a spoonful of porridge, Il-seo carefully spoke up.

“Don’t you have a schedule?”

“No.”

Lee Il-seo should have said Choi Kyung-hyun was there now, that he could manage on his own so Sa Seung-yeon could go home, but those words refused to come. In fact, asking about his schedule was already a very late question. Il-seo stirred the warm porridge with the plastic spoon, just biting his lips

“Um… will you stay overnight and leave tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“Why, are you uncomfortable?”

Sa Seung-yeon asked bluntly while eating his soup. Instead of answering, Il-seo scooped up a large spoonful of porridge and pushed it into his mouth. When Seung-yeon said he would stay overnight, the relief that had warmed Il-seo’s cold heart felt too selfish, and fearing this would be discovered, he had to delay his answer. With his mouth full of food, Il-seo pretended he couldn’t answer and vaguely avoided the question.

The atmosphere of the funeral hall, which had not just been quiet but desolate, changed from the second day. Perhaps because Seung-yeon was by his side, Il-seo, who had slept well even in such a rigid place and woken up with slightly swollen eyelids, walked out of the small room at the sound from outside. He couldn’t hide his surprise at seeing those entering the funeral hall early in the morning.

“Uh…”

Familiar faces stood in a long line. Familiar faces were standing in a long line. From Director Chae Geum-su, who had started receiving criticism again because of him, to the lighting and sound staff, assistant directors, and supporting actors. As the production team and actors from “Temperature of Overflow” entered the small funeral hall one after another, Il-seo’s large pupils shook violently..

When he finally stepped outside, he saw the condolence wreaths stretching from the entrance all the way down the basement stairs. He exhaled shakily. 

The funeral hall, which had been empty all day after the Ondo Entertainment staff left, began to get crowded. Lee Il-seo, who had been sitting absentmindedly in the small room attached to the funeral hall throughout the first day, now went around the tables greeting mourners and exchanging brief words.

“Hyung, here are your clothes and things to wash up with.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Hwan, who had also visited the funeral hall, handed over what Seung-yeon had asked for. Even as he received the bag containing change of clothes and toiletries, Seung-yeon’s gaze remained fixed on Il-seo’s face. Since Il-seo’s grandmother had passed away, one question, or rather worry, had not gone away.

Unlike yesterday, Lee Il-seo was talking and occasionally smiling. But he didn’t cry. Sa Seung-yeon wished he would show his emotions and express his sorrow even just once, but throughout the long funeral process, Lee Il-seo never once showed a sorrowful face.

Where would all those suppressed emotions eventually go? Could that young man really endure the weight of those layered emotions? That was his worry.

***

After the funeral procession, they enshrined Lee Il-seo’s grandmother in a nearby columbarium. Standing at the entrance to the columbarium, Il-seo rubbed his face with dry hands. His dry cheeks made a rustling sound. During the funeral, he had moved with the thought of just finishing it well, but now that it was over, he couldn’t think of what to do next. His mind was foggy, making it difficult for thoughts to connect easily

Sa Seung-yeon approached and quietly held an umbrella over Lee Il-seo, who stood blankly not knowing where to go. Only then did Lee Il-seo look up, noticing for the first time that the light rain hadn’t stopped.

“Let’s go eat.”

At a moment when even choosing a direction felt impossible, it was comforting to have someone guide him. All he had to do was nod.

He got into Sa Seung-yeon’s car. After not going far, the car stopped in front of a traditional Korean restaurant. When Seung-yeon turned off the engine, the pattering sound of rain became a little louder.

A staff member greeted Sa Seung-yeon warmly and guided them to a private room, clearly familiar with him. Concerned about being seen together and starting rumors, Lee Il-seo tugged his mask high over his face and kept his head bowed as he followed Seung-yeon.

Sa Seung-yeon ordered the course meal with a few items removed and other options added. For the main dish, rice came out for Seung-yeon, but porridge was placed in front of Il-seo. Though the thoughtful consideration was appreciated, Il-seo felt as if sand had been applied to his throat, so he just stirred a few spoonfuls and only sipped a little of the radish water kimchi broth.

Sa Seung-yeon also seemed to have no appetite due to the fatigue accumulated over three days, as much food remained in each dish. Il-seo worried that perhaps Seung-yeon had lost his appetite because he was eating so poorly right in front of him.

“Why aren’t you eating much?”

“I need to eat slowly so I can look at you longer.”

Clank. Lee Il-seo’s spoon slipped and struck the bowl, making an unseemly sound.

“I was thinking about what to do after finishing this meal too.”

“…”

“Do you have any good excuses? Something you want to do, or see. Like when we went to the reed field.”

Lee Il-seo, who had been staring at the food he was eating in small bites, raised his head, and their eyes unexpectedly met.

The moment he read the warmth nestled in those transparent black pupils, something hot rose from his nape, and he wanted to blame it on pheromones or the particularly warm heaters in this place. Lee Il-seo briefly avoided Sa Seung-yeon’s eyes and then bowed his head. A voice deeper than he realized came out.

“Thank you, senior.”

“Why don’t you eat a bit more with that grateful heart?”

Lee Il-seo, who had been looking awkwardly at the heaped food, raised his head again.

“You contacted them, didn’t you?”

“…”

“Thanks to you, we received wreaths and many visitors came.”

Lee Il-seo, who was spinning his spoon while dipping it in the porridge bowl, tilted his head slightly to the side.

“At first, I was a bit annoyed. I was already embarrassed and sorry… and I wondered if I should show such a miserable appearance to the director and seniors too.”

As the casting controversy had spread, Director Chae Geum-soo had to explain the casting once again in an interview, and some actors who had appeared friendly with Lee Il-seo in behind the scenes videos were absurdly accused of knowing about Lee Il-seo’s Omega transition and hiding it.

“But… When the empty tables filled with people… And the flowers piled in front of grandma’s portrait…I felt a little…”

Lee Il-seo put down his spoon and moistened his dry lips with his tongue.

“No, I felt much… stronger.”

“…”

“I think grandmother will feel at ease as she departs.”

For the first time, the corners of Lee Il-seo’s mouth turned up. Though it looked weak, seeing him smile made Sa Seung-yeon also slightly lift the corners of his mouth.

“That’s good.”

Lee Il-seo picked up a tangerine in front of him with chopsticks. They were already peeled and neatly stacked in a pretty bowl. Since it was a course meal, and seeing rice cakes in front of Seung-yeon, it seemed his portion had been specially ordered.

Pushing two pieces into his mouth at once and chewing firmly, the tangy and sweet juice burst successively. It was exceptionally sweet, so before even swallowing completely, he put two more pieces in his mouth.

Noticing Sa Seung-yeon watching him eat, he felt like he wanted to eat more enthusiastically. This was all he could do for Seung-yeon. After quickly finishing one tangerine this way, Il-seo wiped his mouth with a tissue.

Still holding that tissue, Lee Il-seo spoke in a small voice. As if intoxicated by the sweetness, his voice flowed out earlier than he had thought.

“I moved grandmother’s spot… closer to the TV.”

At this somewhat abruptly started story, Sa Seung-yeon slightly narrowed his eyes as he looked at Lee Il-seo.

“That was her wish. She wanted to see me on TV…”

Lee Il-seo, who had rolled his lips in and then released them, continued speaking while pressing a rounded piece of tissue with his finger.

“But lately, there’s nothing but criticism of me…”

“…”

“Grandmother must have seen it, right?”

Lee Il-seo swept his palm around his nape.

“I wonder if I shouldn’t have moved her place closer to the TV…”

“…”

“It all feels like my fault.”

Lee Il-seo laughed instead, but Sa Seung-yeon’s smile slowly faded. It was an empty laugh that felt as if a hole might be drilled in the heart the moment their eyes met. Looking into Lee Il-seo’s eyes, which had not a single point of light in them, Sa Seung-yeon spoke in a deliberately calm voice.

“Grandmother would not be so happy to hear that.”

“…”

“Don’t think unnecessary thoughts. Just prepare to announce the baby’s father.”