TCOR CH10

Chapter 10: The red tongue of vice

The photo exhibition lasted a week. On the opening day, Miss Xu chose me to entertain the guests as a waiter.

This photo exhibition was different from ordinary photo exhibitions. Strictly speaking, it was a financial product, and the high returns came with an extremely long holding period. The source of these high returns were the celebrities who were the guests of honour that day.

It’s called a photography exhibition, but I feel it’s more like those art salons in Europe in the old days. A group of wealthy people gather in one place, dressed to the nines, talking with extraordinary eloquence about art and charity.

The exhibition is secondary, the socialising is the main event. And Shen Wunian, as the organiser of this exhibition, is just like the hosts of those old salons, chatting with the guests and handling the situation with ease.

This is Naiximu, 19 years old. He has brown eyes, bushy eyebrows and a very nice jawline. Although he was born in the countryside, Naiximu wants to become an actor.

I don’t know if he hates this kind of thing, but Xu Ao only appeared briefly in the morning before running off in a hurry. The commentary he was supposed to give fell to Shen Wunian.

Fortunately, Shen Wunian did a good job.

Unfortunately, the war broke out and he had to put on his uniform and become a soldier,” he told the guests, pausing in front of a series of black and white photographs. His words were precise and fluent, and he had a good sense of rhythm, so it was easy to get lost in the sense of history he was building.

Like me, I was passing by with a tray of snacks and before I knew it, I was drawn into his narrative. By the time I came to myself, I had stopped listening.

There are eight pictures on the wall, all of the same young man with freckles, a buzz cut and a big smile. The first seven photos are A4 size and show the young man playing the harmonica, leaning against a broken wall; performing a funny pantomime for his comrades; reading Shakespeare plays by flickering candlelight… He always has a smile on his face, like a sunflower full of life.

Until the last photograph.

It’s only the size of a palm, very inconspicuous, and if you don’t look closely, you can’t even see the small mound of earth on it. Like the death of a teenager, it is mediocre and insignificant and doesn’t make a ripple in the world.

“Nesim, who was three days shy of his 20th birthday, died in a bombing. The crowd identified him by the nameplate on his body and buried him in a mass grave, along with hundreds of others.

After the war, politicians shook hands and shared the spoils. Many Nessim turned to dust in the war, gave up their dreams and their lives, and ended up making up the glorious CVs of others.

The warmongers could not hear the wailing in the ruins, nor see the tears of the mothers. They used crude lies to disguise their ambitions, wrapped their desires in false righteousness, and grandiosely made the gullible Naixin fight for them.

Naixin’s smile was infectious, making his death all the more shocking. The crowd fell silent, everyone’s expression was grave, and the more emotional ladies sighed with reddened eyes.

Shen Wunian, however, did not allow the atmosphere to become heavy. He changed the subject and his words became witty: War is the father of all things and the king of all things. War makes some people gods, some people men, some people slaves, and some people free. So you see, even Heraclitus knew that men in power are the root of conflict.

In 1839, Daguerre invented photography and the history of photography began. The use of photography in war has almost accompanied its history. Photographers faithfully record everything that happens on the battlefield and freeze it in time for people in peacetime to reflect on and be alarmed by.

But we all know that the people who really need to reflect and be alarmed will never come to see these things. Morality will always only hold back people with a conscience.

Like us.’

There was a burst of laughter, some applause, and someone raised a glass to him.

‘To all of us who have a conscience.

‘To peace!’

Shen Wunian nodded slightly and raised his champagne glass in return. His eyes swept past me, out of the crowd, and over my face, as if he didn’t know me at all.

The corner of his lips, which had just been raised, dropped slightly. I pursed my lips and walked away uninterested, holding the tray.

OK, I’ve become a person without a conscience.

When I argued with Miss Zhou earlier, I said that Cure was under no obligation to save Redvein, that it was their freedom to do so, and that it didn’t matter if I was free or not, I was just being cold-blooded and heartless.

Double standards.

With these thoughts running through my mind, I carried my tray of snacks to another exhibition hall, away from Shen Wunian.

There were far fewer people here, scattered sporadically in every corner of the exhibition hall. I walked back and forth, hawking the macaroons on my tray.

Isn’t the curator this time the adopted son of the Ashmekin family?

‘That’s right. His father shot his mother and was adopted by the Ashmekins.

Around the corner I heard the sound of the conversation suddenly stop.

Two ladies, champagne in hand, were sitting on a bench, their backs to me, gossiping.

The lady in red was eager to know the truth: ‘Is the rumour true? His father Shen Yao was a struggling artist at the time and went to Ashmekin to ask him to curate an exhibition for him, but Ashmekin refused, saying that his life as an artist was too ordinary and uninspiring. As a result, Shen Yao took the advice, shot his wife and then killed himself by swallowing a gun.

The lady in black took a sip of her drink and said slowly, ‘It’s true. And at that time he also wanted to kill the child, but the mother protected the child by shielding it with her body. The child also suffered a bullet wound, but fortunately he was saved in the end’.

She was obviously an insider and had some inside information: “Ashmakine felt guilty and adopted Shen Yao’s child and took custody of all of Shen Yao’s works until the child grew up. He’s amazing. In just a few years, Shen Yao’s work, which came from a madman, has skyrocketed in value. She snorted, “I don’t think this foreigner is that kind. Over the years, he is said to have used various excuses to delay the return of this legacy to Shen Wunian’s hands. He’s not obvious.”

The lady in red covered her lips and exclaimed in shock, “Sima Zhao”.

The lady in black shrugged and changed the subject.

I didn’t want to hear any more, so I tiptoed away, clutching my macaroons, afraid they would discover my secret.

Shen Wunian’s life story was so complicated. It felt… a bit more miserable than mine.

No, no, no. I shook my head quickly. It’s not like academic achievement, how can you compare these things?

Whatever the circumstances, it’s unfortunate for a child to lose both parents.

I walked around the other exhibition halls a few more times, but no one was eating the macaroons. Finally, I walked until I reached Hall 1.

Mr Bai, I didn’t think we’d meet again so soon…

When I heard a familiar voice, my heart leapt and I looked towards the entrance of the exhibition hall. Sure enough, it was Zhou Yun.

Miss Zhou was wearing exquisite make-up today, her long hair pulled back into a bun and held in place by a green hairpin. She was truly refined and elegant, with an outstanding temperament.

It is an honour to have you here, Miss Zhou.

She held a white cloak in her hands and walked side by side with Bai Qixuan. Anyone looking at them would think they were a perfect match.

As for me…

I looked down at myself.

Dressed like a waitress, carrying snacks that I couldn’t sell, even though I was under the same roof as them, anyone could see that I didn’t fit in.

Peng Xun told me not to give up, and Xu Ao told me to cherish my talent. But photography is like Bai Qixuan to me: Sisyphean effort, the sun that Kua Fu could never reach, and King Xiang’s despicable… madness.

Shen Wunian asked me if I wanted to spend my life watching Bai Qixuan. But what else could I do but watch him?

I tried to minimise my presence and planned to retire quietly, but it backfired and Bai Qixuan found out anyway.

‘Zhong Ai…’ He called out to me with a smile on his face, unaware of anything, using his usual voice and expression, which made me feel even more self-conscious.

I turned and walked away as if I hadn’t heard.

Who would have thought that I would be caught up by Bai Qixuan after only ten metres.

“His smile faded as he casually placed the tray I was holding on the bench, grabbed my hand and walked all the way out of the exhibition hall, twisting and turning until he actually reached the utility room where I had hidden last time.

He pulled me inside and then, as if he didn’t know what to do with me, he just gave me a complicated look without saying a word.

I leaned against the wall, feeling very uncomfortable being watched by him: ‘…Brother Bai?

He sighed and finally said, ‘Zhong Ai, are we going to go on like this for the rest of our lives?

The fingertips hanging at my side trembled slightly. I clenched them into a fist and released it quickly.

‘Then I’ll be careful not to appear in front of you in the future.

‘That’s not what I meant. He wiped his face angrily and paced the small room, ‘I have nothing to do with Miss Zhou. It’s just that earlier, at Lingyun Temple, I mentioned this exhibition and she was very interested, so I said I’d invite her to see it. Don’t misunderstand me…’

Something didn’t sound right to me, so I hastily interrupted him: ‘You don’t have to explain anything to me, Brother Bai.

Although it really hurt me to see him with Miss Zhou, it was my problem, not hers. Bai Qixuan had the right to dislike me and the right to choose someone else.

Bai Qixuan looked at me with a conflicted expression, “But I want us to be like we used to be. You’re always avoiding me now, and you’re not as close to me as you used to be. I… I don’t want that, Zhong Ai, I don’t want to lose you.

I opened my mouth without knowing what to say.

He was really putting me in a difficult position, and yet I couldn’t harden my heart against him.

I really regretted my impulsive confession. I was already suffering alone, and now it was even worse for everyone.

This time it was my turn to let out a long sigh. ‘Wasn’t it… wasn’t it because you were embarrassed?

‘Actually, I’ve been very uncomfortable the last few days. I was so lonely at the time and I always wanted someone to keep me company, so I… wanted to confess my feelings to you. It was all in my head. Later I came to my senses and I feel for you the same way a younger brother feels for an older brother”.

Compared to the carefully rehearsed confession that had taken a long time to plan, it took me less than half a minute to undo it.

Bai Qixuan frowned and looked at me for a long time: ‘Really?

He may have doubts in his heart, but in this situation, none of that matters. Even if he doesn’t believe me, he will.

I nodded vigorously and said insincerely, ‘Well. I’ve wanted to make things clear to you for a long time, but I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. From now on, let’s just be like we were before, and you don’t have to feel any psychological burden.

His eyebrows slowly relaxed, and Bai Qixuan revealed a smile as she walked over and slowly hugged me.

“It’s great to hear you say that.

Bai Qixuan is a very sentimental person, so much so that he is unwilling to give up a relationship in which he has already taken a position.

My position is that of his beloved ‘younger brother’, and he cannot bear to let me go, nor is he willing to change my position.

Therefore, the best way to deal with this is for me to withdraw.

My body trembled at this intimate act, while my heart ached with joy.

I raised my hand to embrace him, but my eyes inadvertently wandered to the door and I froze.

Shen Wunian had his arms around his chest and was leaning against the doorframe with a faint smile on his face, having watched the show for some unknown length of time.

When he saw that I had noticed him, he didn’t feel the least bit guilty about being caught, but greeted me instead.

I quickly lowered my arms and asked him with my eyes why he was here.

Ignoring me, he pointed at me, then at Bai Qixuan, and finally at himself, erotically sticking out part of his tongue and lightly biting it.

As I stared at that lewd red tongue, my mind buzzed as if it had been set on fire, and my entire face felt hot.

What did he mean, was he asking me to… tongue kiss Bai Qixuan?