TCOR CH42

Chapter 42: I’m Always the One Who’s Not Chosen

I didn’t think I had much stuff, but when I packed, I filled half a suitcase with just the little odds and ends. When you add in the clothes in the closet, I’m afraid I won’t be able to bring it all at once.

“You and Uriel are more than just boss and employee, aren’t you?” Philia sat on my bed, no, it was supposed to be her bed now. As she spoke, she swung her snow-white feet back and forth, her long hair tangled around her slender fingers, exuding an air of innocence and charm.

“Is Uriel Shen Wunian?” Luckily, it’s getting warm, so I don’t have to wear very thick clothes, otherwise my suitcase would be full of sweaters. I’ll organize my clothes for the next half month, and the rest… we’ll see about that later.

“He didn’t tell you?” Although she is not related to Shen Wunian by blood, Philia can read people’s minds just as well as the other person. “Then your relationship is probably not that complicated. Let me guess… a sugar daddy?” She covered her mouth as if she had accidentally learned a big secret, “Oh my God, are you an adult?

Do I have the face of someone who works in a special profession? Wang Xiangyang, Bai Qixuan, and now her, they all seem to think that I’m good at sleeping with men…

“We don’t have that kind of relationship, we…” I was at a loss for words and stopped folding the clothes in my hands.

It’s a little more ambiguous than friends, but not lovers. The ambiguous term “trial period” is really hard to explain easily to others. In the end, it seems that there is only one kind of relationship between Shen Wunian and me: “We are just boss and assistant. Besides, I’m already 20 years old.”

“Wow, you look 16, and you’re the same age as me? I can never guess the real age of Asians.” She said, getting up and walking towards me, squatting in front of me through my suitcase.

I looked at her confused.

She smiled at me, then quickly looked away: “Stay away from him and stay away from us.”

I was taken aback, a little shocked by her bluntness. I opened my mouth to ask why, but before I could speak, Shen Wunian’s voice came from the doorway.

“Philia.” He had arrived at the bedroom door at some point and was leaning his shoulders against the doorframe with his hands crossed over his chest. His expression was so indifferent that it bordered on apathy.

“Si tu veux rester, garde ta langue.” He suddenly switched to a language I didn’t understand.

Philia rolled her eyes, rose from the floor and said, “Non mais sérieux, t’es faché? Depuis quand t’es devenu gay?

She laughed coldly, brushed past Shen Wunian and walked out.

Shen Wunian rubbed his nose, looked at me with a helpless expression, and switched back to Chinese when he spoke to me: “Sorry, she has a strange temper.”

I lowered my eyes and stuffed the folded clothes neatly into the suitcase: “It’s okay.”

No one said anything after that, and the room fell into an awkward silence.

After a while I thought he had left. I got up to get my clothes out of the closet, and when I looked up, I saw that he was still leaning against the doorframe, watching me.

The second he made eye contact with me, he said, “I booked you a hotel. You can stay there for now.”

I waved my hands repeatedly, “No, no, I’ll just go back to the school dorm. Don’t waste your money.”

Shen Wunian’s eyebrows knitted together in worry, “Back to the original dormitory?”

“You can stay in the original dormitory for the next two days, and I will apply to the school to change the dormitory on Monday…”

“Then you can stay in a hotel for the next two days. It was my mistake to ask you to move out so quickly, and I should pay for the hotel. You don’t have to save up for me.” He straightened up, his tone polite, but he really had no intention of arguing with me. “It’s settled. With that, he turned and left.

Philia said she was a little tired, hadn’t eaten anything, and after taking a shower she went inside to rest. Shen Wunian did eat a little, but I don’t know if he didn’t like it because it wasn’t his usual amount. And since I was tired from staying up late and in a bad mood, I didn’t eat much either. In the end, most of the large table of food ended up in the trash can.

“Here are the keys…” I put the house keys on the table and handed them back to Shen Wunian, but my fingertips felt like they were stuck to the table and I couldn’t lift them.

Picking up the key again, I removed the “Ai” character from the key chain and held it firmly in my hand: “Can I…keep this?”

Shen Wunian stared at the small wooden plaque in my hand for a while, then nodded and said, “Of course you can.

I dragged my suitcase to the door and as I closed it from the outside, I saw that Shen Wunian was still staring at me from where he was. I gave him a small smile and said, “I’m leaving, you’ve had a long flight, get some rest. With that, I gently closed the door.

The hotel Shen Wunian had booked was not far from the apartment, just two subway stops away.

After checking the route on my phone, I dragged my suitcase from the apartment door and walked to the subway station.

After walking for about four or five minutes, I was about to reach the subway station when a black SUV suddenly pulled up behind me and lowered its window.

“Get in, I’ll give you a ride,” Shen Wunian’s voice came from the passenger seat.

I thought I had mistaken the car for someone else’s when I first saw it approaching, but it was really him.

I hurriedly said, “No, I’ll go by myself. I’m almost at the subway station. It’s not a good place to park, so you should go.”

He just stopped the car and repeated in a louder voice, “Get in.

Hearing those two cold and hard words, I shivered. Seeing that the trunk was already open, all I could do was walk over and quickly shove my luggage into the car before getting into the passenger seat myself.

The car started smoothly. I glanced at Shen Wunian’s face and saw that his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his thin lips were pursed in impatience, as if he had encountered something disturbing. I felt a little intimidated.

Why was he angry? I had just left and everything was fine, so who had offended him?

We spent the ten-minute drive in silence. He didn’t say a word, and I didn’t dare speak either.

After checking in, Shen Wunian refused the porter’s help and carried my luggage into the room himself.

The room was surprisingly large, consisting of a living room and a bedroom, and was the largest suite in the hotel. I looked it up online and found that it cost five figures a night.

Had I known it was that expensive, I would have booked the hotel myself. The cost of one night in that room could pay for three months in a nearby budget hotel. I looked out the window at the magnificent view of the river and my heart was bleeding.

“If you like it, you can stay here forever.

I turned around to see Shen Wunian standing not far behind me. There was still not much of a smile on his face, but I could tell that his mood had improved.

I shook my head, “No, two days is enough.

No matter how good or comfortable it is, it is not my home.

He didn’t insist, “If you need anything, you can always contact me. Then…rest first, I won’t disturb you.”

Seeing that he was about to leave, I quickly caught up with him and grabbed his arm. “Wait, I have to tell you something!”

He stopped, looked at my grip on his hand, and said nothing, waiting silently for me to continue.

“I… my work has been shortlisted for the Master of Kana competition.” I let go of his arm, my fingertips brushing the sleeve of his shirt as I hesitantly led him away and took his hand. “And I’ve missed you.”

I missed him so much, thinking about the past ten days and nights, not knowing how many times I had held his blanket and tossed and turned in bed; how many times I had been awakened by the sound of someone opening a door in my dream, rushing out happily only to return to bed disappointed; and how many times I had listened to his voice over and over again until I fell asleep… But he didn’t need to know any of this, nor did he need to understand. He just needed to know that I missed him, and that was enough.

“Congratulations. Do you have a present in mind?” Shen Wunian let me hold his hand, and I could feel the slight chill in his fingers.

It was strange. In the past, his body temperature was clearly high, but why was it so cold today?

“Any gift will do?” I lowered my eyes and gathered my courage, “Then can I… become your real friend?”

In response, I heard a short, light laugh, and then his hand slowly pulled away.

“You’re very brave,” he said, lifting his hand and running it through my hair. The back of his hand touched my cheek, and his knuckles gently brushed the corner of my eye.

I closed one eye and leaned my head meekly into his hand.

“You’re too young, too inexperienced and too lonely to fall blindly in love with anyone who treats you well,” he spoke slowly, his voice deep and magnetic, his movements affectionate and gentle, but the content of his words took a sharp turn. “To you, I am just another Bai Qixuan, not irreplaceable. Once you find out that I’m not as good as you think I am, and if another person comes along who satisfies you more, you’ll love him as much as you love me, won’t you?”

I froze, a little at a loss for words in the face of his sudden accusation.

He looked away and continued, “I was going to wait a few days to tell you, but since you brought it up… I’ve given it some thought, and I don’t think you and I are a good match, so it’s best if we just call it quits.”

As he spoke, the warmth on my cheeks slowly faded, and my fingers grew cold.

Shen Wunian turned away without a trace of regret, as he did with so many of his decisions, just to inform me without expecting me to agree.

I’m always the one who’s not chosen.

My parents, my younger sister-in-law, Bai Qixuan… And now Shen Wunian.

That’s why I have to move out.

This is ridiculous. I thought that heaven had finally let me off the hook this time and was willing to give me a new home so that I wouldn’t be homeless and could stop running around. But it turns out… it’s a limited edition. I haven’t even had a chance to taste the sweetness and I’m already being kicked out.

This is too much. You can’t just take it back after you gave it to me. That’s not fair.

I’m not willing to accept it.

I’m not willing to accept it at all…

As I watched Shen Wunian walk further and further away, I clenched my fists until my fingernails dug into my palms and my whole arm trembled uncontrollably. “No. How do you know I won’t continue to love you? Those are just your assumptions. You’re not even willing to try, and you’re sentencing me to death?”

The man’s footsteps stopped in the distance, and he did not continue forward, but he did not turn around either.

“Did you not ask me what gift I wanted? Since you won’t give me a permanent position, then give me another month of probation.” I made a last effort, even though it was in vain: “During this month, you must obey all my orders and fulfill all my requests without refusing or stopping. You can also show me as much of yourself as you can that you don’t think is good enough, and see if I hate you for it.

I guess I’m a romantic at heart. The two bravest things I’ve done in my life are both love-related. One is “I want to fall in love with Bai Qixuan,” and the other is “I want to fall in love with Shen Wunian…” Maybe, as Shen Wunian said, my love is blind, but I’ve never felt that this is a disadvantage.

I can be cautious in my life, but my love doesn’t have to be.

“Hey…” After listening to me, Shen Wunian let out a long sigh, rubbed his neck, and turned around a few times as if he wasn’t feeling well. You really are an affectionate kitten.

He thought for a moment, tilted his face to the side, and slowly announced a new deadline: “Half a month. After half a month, I hope you’ll know when to give up.

I bit my lip as I had no bargaining chips and nodded, “Okay, half a month.”

Without saying another word, Shen Wunian walked out of the room.

The door opened and closed, and I was finally alone in the room, no longer having to pretend.

My shoulders slumped and I trembled as I opened my palms and looked at the small wooden sign that was almost embedded in my flesh.

“Liar, you promised to make me permanent if I liked it more.” The long-suppressed tears fell with a “pop” on the character “Ai” carved into the surface of the wooden sign.

The author has something to say:

French dialogue – “If you want to stay, shut up. “No way, are you angry? When did you become gay?”