TCOR CH7

Chapter 7: There’s still time

It was still, my limbs heavy. I fell deep into the chaotic darkness and wanted to cry out for help, but I could hardly open my mouth.

At first I didn’t realise the nature of the dream, thinking it was just ‘fear’. It wasn’t until I was seized by the bright red monster at the bottom of the lake, which wrapped its arms around my waist and pulled me into its embrace without a sound.

It was so cold around me, but his embrace was so hot that it seemed to boil the water of the lake.

For the first time he was playing with me like a toy, his movements were rough and reckless, I felt the pain, and more than that, the ‘absurdity’.

How absurd! In the past, when I had this kind of dream, at least the protagonist was Bai Qixuan, but now I’m not even a person.

“Of course, only big tears…

My scattered consciousness had difficulty processing the overwhelming amount of information. The sound reached my ears through the rippling lake, indistinct and hazy. I had a gut feeling that it wasn’t good, but I couldn’t make out the meaning.

It was rude.

I struggled with all my strength to escape the monster behind me and reach the surface. But I don’t know if it was the resistance of the water or the settings of the dream, no matter how hard I flexed my muscles, the response in my limbs was very weak, almost negligible.

Don’t move.

The pressure on my chest suddenly increased and at the same time my neck, the most vulnerable part of my body, was firmly controlled. I struggled to tilt my head back, tears welling up at the corners of my eyes. Gradually I lost control of my body in the pain.

It was painful, but not totally painful. Fear, pain, shame and the pleasure of not being able to resist mixed together to form a complex feeling that made me sink deeper and deeper as I tried to break free.

As the pain reached its peak, I felt as if my soul had also left my body for a moment, floating in the water, watching with pity and disgust as the pale human body twisted and writhed in abject misery, weeping with tear-filled eyes.

Why are you crying again? The wet, hot lips and tongue collected all the tears that had been produced, as well as those that had not yet been produced. ‘They’re everywhere, but it’s not as bad as I thought…’

He murmured with detached indifference and a sigh of relief.

‘Indeed, being a beast is much more comfortable.

After that, his movements became much easier, but it wasn’t any better for me.

Fear, pain and shame, these three things waxed and waned. When the pain subsided, the extra points could only be allocated to ‘fear’ and ‘shame’, forming a new set of ‘sufferings’ that tormented my body and mind.

This monster seems to enjoy my suffering… No, it feeds on my pain.

Gentleness is only an illusion, a disguise to feed better. His true face is insatiability.

So the fourth time I exploded completely.

The monster is a monster and does not know when to stop. It doesn’t know that people have limits too, and that some pleasures are fatal if you have them too often and too quickly!

I began to struggle again, this time with greater amplitude. My right hand was successfully raised and landed on the monster’s tentacle.

However, my strength was really limited and it was like an ant trying to shake a tree. I was overconfident and ended up covering my hands in a sticky, slimy mess, but I didn’t even move the monster an inch.

Tsk,’ the monster stopped moving in surprise, ‘it looks like you don’t have enough strength.

I thought it was all over, and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. But I was wrong. The tentacles wrapped around me even tighter. All my senses were focused on one point. I sobbed and curled my fingers, trying to get my stiff tongue to speak.

But I was too weak, and even this ‘no’ full of rejection had no deterrent effect.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to break you. It’s just that I’ve been sick for so long… and my needs are a bit excessive,’ the monster whispered.

The monster whispered in my ear, as if to reassure me, but its actions were quite different. Unable to save myself, I desperately welcomed the fifth time.

Every pore opened to release the remaining body heat, making me seek the warmth behind me and snuggle closer to the other.

I’m dying, I’m being swallowed…

I trembled, my inner fear reaching a crescendo.

Who will save me? Anyone, I’m really dying…

Help…

A vague figure appeared in my mind – strong, sunny, cheerful, handsome, with a happy family and successful in his studies. The other person was so perfect and desirable, with everything I could never have, and if he were, he would not be so helpless and at the mercy of others.

‘Bai… Qi Xuan…’

My ear suddenly hurt, as if I had been bitten by a monster.

Bai Qi…

I was bitten again.

Bai…

This time, it was even harder, biting into my earlobe. The monster held the piece of flesh in its mouth and grinded it viciously, the punishment obvious.

I whimpered, afraid to scream again.

After a while the tentacle loosened a little and the monster, not sure if it was full or not, let me go.

You’re really going to dehydrate.

It gently placed me in the nest of water plants and disappeared.

I was weak and limp, wrapped in the water plants. Gradually, a deep sense of sleepiness permeated every cell of my body. I was completely exhausted and couldn’t move a finger.

Just as my consciousness slipped into deeper darkness, the monster returned.

This time… don’t bite me again,’ he said, holding my head in his hands as he forcibly fed me some sweet nectar.

My body knew it was good and sought it out spontaneously. But my sluggish muscles could not quench this thirst, and I could only swallow a small amount, most of it dripping from the corners of my lips.

I wanted more…

I held the mouth organ in my mouth, opened my lips slightly and asked for more.

‘Ha…’ The monster snorted, wiping the water from my lips and the tentacle explored the gap, tickling my tongue. “You should be grateful I’m not a bloodthirsty beast.”

The foreign object in my mouth retreated, and the next moment the monster’s mouth parts penetrated even harder and deeper. I accepted it hungrily, sucking each time until there was no more sweetness to be extracted before I let go.

After a few times of this, the monster’s breathing began to get heavier and it began to hang around, not even stopping to lick the sweet taste from my lips all the way down my neck.

Could it be… hungry again so soon?

I frowned in horror.

Could this be a meal that would kill me?

But I don’t want to die, I have to live…live for my parents…I have to try to live…I can’t die here…and, and die in such a useless way…

It’s so sad. A sadness that you can’t do anything about, a sadness that sees no hope, a sadness that you just can’t get over…

There are so many people, why do they bully me?

The monster around my neck suddenly stopped moving, retreated a little and then, as if it had seen something rare, ran its hand along the corner of my eye.

How many tears have you got? He completely ignored my sadness and laughed happily and contentedly, “Forget it, the body doesn’t hurt anymore, there’s plenty of time, I’ll let you off for today…”

The sunlight outside the window shone through the gaps in the curtains and mischievously landed in my eyes, forcing me to wake up.

My body felt heavy and my mood was terrible.

I think I had a dream last night, but I can’t remember it. I just remember that it was a very frightening and disturbing dream.

I sat up in bed and waited for the annoying feeling in my head to pass before I lifted the covers and got out of bed. But after only a few steps my knees gave way and I fell to my knees.

‘…’

I looked down at my lower body and was a bit shocked.

It seems that I am quite ill this time, and I am so weak after a serious illness.

I leaned against the wall and walked outside. The living room was still bathed in sunlight, but it was very quiet. I looked around, but I couldn’t see Shen Wunian’s shadow anywhere.

Where had he gone?

I looked around the living room for any sign of Shen Wunian. I didn’t find any notes, but I did find a poetry book lying upside down by the armchair.

It was an English poetry book with a picture of a beautiful dahlia on the cover.

‘The Flowers of Evil…’ The name of the poetry book automatically translated into Chinese in my mind. I picked it up out of curiosity, not leafing through it, just glancing at the page Shen Wunian was reading.

The devil… is always by my side, stirring up trouble, like an invisible gas… surrounding me; I swallowed him whole, but felt a burning pain in my lungs, igniting a sinful and eternal… desire.

After translating only a small part, I felt bored and put it back. When my eyes fell on the cover of a magazine lying under the poetry book, I was surprised.

I picked up the photography magazine instead and noticed that one of the pages was folded. I had a feeling it was the page I had won the prize for.

The photography club not only teaches some photography skills, but also organises members to take part in various photography competitions. The semester I joined the photography club, I took part in a mobile phone photography competition.

The competition was open to all ages, all brands of mobile phones, and no post-processing was allowed. Each person was limited to five entries. Everyone in the club took part, so at the urging of my elders, I also took two photos and submitted them.

Unexpectedly, one of these two photos was shortlisted in the top three in the architecture category, and I ended up winning the ‘Student Photographer Award’ for students.

The huge dilapidated factory was already in the sunset, and for some reason there was a small puddle at its feet. After a spring and summer of fermentation, it was surrounded by green grass and moss, and the water was full of life.

A young frog, having just metamorphosed from a tadpole, was crouching in the puddle, its long tongue out, preying on the water striders. Ripples broke the reflection of the building in an instant, and I happened to press the shutter at that moment.

To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about any composition or artistic concept when I took the picture. I just felt that… this was an interesting scene and I wanted to capture it.

My seniors and juniors all praised me for having artistic talent, but I always felt that it was just a matter of luck.

But thanks to the 5,000 yuan prize money, I was able to take a breather that semester and didn’t have to worry about tuition fees and living expenses all the time.

The competition is a real-name system, and my winning entry is marked with the name of this photo and my own name.

Shen Wunian once said I had an eye for beauty, but I don’t think he meant it.

He had seen my work a long time ago and really liked it, and out of his curatorial nature, he… loved the work and the person?