TSG 92

I had a long dream.

I waited for a friend at the swings in the playground, and at the dinner table, I waited for my parents. The people were different, but they all shared one thing in common – they never came.

The more desperately I wished for someone, the less likely they were to appear. When I was just casually getting along with people, I could meet them often, but once I started to like them, they would disappear somewhere.

I realized that wanting something meant I couldn’t have it. Whether it was people, animals, or even the stuffed animals I hugged at night- if I gave them my heart, they all drifted away.

Still, I wished at least one of them would have stayed.

If it had, maybe I wouldn’t have abandoned hope one by one, crying as I let go of each expectation. Maybe I wouldn’t have resigned myself to everything so easily…

“Our Tae-oh appeared like a protagonist.”

“What will I do if Tae-oh becomes the protagonist? I’m just an extra…”

Se-hyun’s words hit me like a hammer to the back of my head.

For the first time, someone saw me as the protagonist, and his whisper made me realize it. My thoughts had been wrong.

Now I understood. It wasn’t about the world making me a protagonist, but about me, Shin Tae-oh, seeing the person I love as the protagonist. Instead of being sad if he disappeared, I should wish for his happiness wherever he was. If I could do that, I could smile happily even if I became dust.

As I woke from the dream, I slowly opened my eyes. The blurred vision, mixed with memories of what happened before I collapsed and the dream, began to clear as someone appeared. Seeing the face I longed for, nothing else mattered.

“Waking up to see Ahn Se-hyun, how nice.”

Shin Tae-oh paused briefly due to his cracking voice, then spoke again. Now, the only words left in Shin Tae-oh’s mind were Ahn Se-hyun and dust.

Se-hyun waved his hand in front of Shin Tae-oh’s eyes. Seeing that Shin Tae-oh was focused on his face rather than his hand, Se-hyun felt relieved.

“Fortunately, your eyesight seems fine. And your personality hasn’t changed either.”

It would have been strange if he had looked at the hand.

Se-hyun was worried about potential post-surgery complications, but a single sentence provided quite a bit of information.

“Do you remember what happened before you collapsed?”

Se-hyun brushed away the hair covering Shin Tae-oh’s eyes.

“I even remember where I put Se-hyun’s photo. But, can I not move my hands?”

As Shin Tae-oh’s eyes looked up towards his hands, Se-hyun hesitated.

“There’s no problem with your memory, but tell me if there’s an issue somewhere else.”

Shin Tae-oh’s acceptance of the situation made Se-hyun swallow a sigh.

“So, you’re associating me brushing away your hair with paralysis?”

“Your touch feels very ticklish and nice, but I still need to know.”

“…Would you like to try holding my hand?”

They could check if there’s a problem that way. Se-hyun placed his hand, the one that had just touched Tae-oh’s forehead, in front of him. He held out just his index finger as if telling a child to hold their mother’s hand.

Shin Tae-oh thought about wanting to hold Se-hyun’s outstretched hand, and without consciously thinking about moving, he was able to grasp his index finger.

“It’s moving.”

“It is.”

My hand is moving. As Shin Tae-oh slightly lifted the blanket to look down at his body, Se-hyun crossed his arms and exhaled disapprovingly.

“We’ll know more after talking once you’re awake, but the doctor said the chances of other problems are low.”

Se-hyun already knew this from the doctor’s update on the surgery, but he had asked Tae-oh to test his hand just to be sure. Tsk, making such a fuss over brushing aside a single strand of hair.

“Shall I check your feet too?”

“I’ll check that later. Instead…”

Shin Tae-oh smiled, realizing his bedridden situation.

“I didn’t expect to say this in a hospital again… but I want to hear the confession you were going to make now.”

The accident had delayed it, so now that he was conscious, he wanted to hear Se-hyun’s confession.

“Confession?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“…”

Se-hyun fell silent, seemingly lost in thought, and Shin Tae-oh waited. Se-hyun not speaking right away must be because various complex emotions had surfaced.

“What I wanted to say is…”

As Se-hyun began to speak, all of Shin Tae-oh’s attention focused on him.

“I’m sorry.”

When Se-hyun didn’t say what Shin Tae-oh wanted to hear, Shin Tae-oh’s eyebrows raised.

“That’s not what I want to hear.”

Shin Tae-oh felt as if his nerves were tightening as he tried to sit up.

Se-hyun still gently restrained him.

“I thought now that everything was back in place, all that was left was to confirm our feelings for each other and start dating. Is the place not good? Is it because I’m lying down?”

It seemed like Tae-oh was ready to get up right that moment, so Se-hyun pressed his shoulder down firmly.

“It’s not that.”

“Then why the change? I was so excited when I woke up… This is such a letdown.”

Shin Tae-oh couldn’t hide his disappointment. However, Se-hyun, without wavering at all, gently wiped Shin Tae-oh’s face with a damp towel.

“More importantly, are you in any pain right now? The surgery took over six hours.”

He said this while moistening Shin Tae-oh’s lips with a separate towel.

“It was different from a typical brain hemorrhage. There was bleeding, but it wasn’t in a dangerous area. The surgery went well, and now we just need to check for any aftereffects. Do you have a headache?”

“I’m fine.”

Shin Tae-oh winced as if his head hurt when he tried to shake it.

“Don’t move.”

Se-hyun massaged his hands and feet and picked up the phone to call a nurse. After informing them that Shin Tae-oh had woken up, Se-hyun checked his temperature by touching his forehead.
Although the nurse would need to check directly, he felt a slight fever. While carefully wiping each of Shin Tae-oh’s fingers, Se-hyun continued where he had left off earlier.

“It’s not that I suddenly changed my mind. And it’s not that I can’t date you because I feel sorry.”

He carefully put down Shin Tae-oh’s hand and met his eyes.

“It’s just that my mindset has changed.”

“You said your mind hadn’t changed.”

Shin Tae-oh was about to ask what the difference was between mind and mindset when he belatedly realized the change. Seeing Se-hyun’s calm expression, Shin Tae-oh’s eyes widened as if he had gained certainty.

“Did you come to like me more?”

“I just mean that we shouldn’t take this lightly.”

Se-hyun significantly reduced the room for misunderstanding.

“So, you mean we should date seriously?”

When Shin Tae-oh asked for confirmation, Se-hyun was about to ignore it but nodded with a sigh.

“So please give me time to think.”

He gave a reason for not confessing right away and stepped back. Just then, a nurse who had quietly entered the room began checking on Shin Tae-oh, and their conversation naturally came to a halt.

“The doctor will be here soon, so please wait a moment.”

After the nurse left the room with a kind expression, an awkward atmosphere settled. As they were both busy thinking, Se-hyun carefully tucked in Shin Tae-oh’s blanket.

“You’ll think by my side, right?”

As Shin Tae-oh resumed the interrupted conversation, Se-hyun gently patted his dry lips with a handkerchief.

“Yes.”

⍣⍣⍣

Jeong Mi-jung looked at Shin Tae-oh’s bandaged head with sympathetic eyes.

“I’m glad you regained consciousness. The rest… seems fine.”

As Shin Tae-oh spread his arms, Jeong Mi-jung looked him up and down and continued.

“Look closely. I’ve lost weight.”

Shin Tae-oh said as he patted his cheeks, Se-hyun wiped his face with a soft handkerchief. Though there was nothing on it. Shin Tae-oh smiled, appreciating Se-hyun’s attentive care.

Jeong Mi-jung looked back and forth between Se-hyun and Shin Tae-oh, then nodded.

“You’ll gain that weight back soon.”

Thanks to someone taking care of you.

“That’s the plan.”

Listening to the meaningless conversation between Jeong Mi-jung and Shin Tae-oh, Se-hyun felt he should do something. Realizing his presence was causing the conversation to veer off, he came up with an excuse to leave.

“I’ll go buy something to drink since we don’t have anything prepared.”

Se-hyun gave Shin Tae-oh a look saying he’d be right back and gave Jeong Mi-jung a slight bow. As the door closed Shin Tae-oh’s expression rapidly changed.

“Try to keep up the ‘I’m fine’ act in front of your mom too.”

“Are you sure there are no aftereffects? My head hurts so much.”

Shin Tae-oh frowned and pressed his forehead.

“Please check if the painkillers are being administered.”

“I’m sure Secretary Ahn will take care of that.”

Jeong Mi-jung patted Shin Tae-oh’s bottom, urging him to move over.

“I said my head hurts.”

Shin Tae-oh pointed to the chair next to him.

“Instead of that, please get me something to drink. Over there in the fridge.”

As Shin Tae-oh gestured towards the fridge with his chin, squinting his eyes, Jeong Mi-jung sighed as if exasperated.

“Who would believe you just had brain surgery?”

Nevertheless, she approached the fridge as Shin Tae-oh wanted and opened the door. Seeing the drinks filling the inside, she was quiet for a moment before taking one out.

“At least someone has some sense around here.”

Meanwhile, Se-hyun, who had deliberately left to give Jeong Mi-jung space, encountered Ha Jin-seong standing in front of the hospital room.