TTRIA 31

A yawn escaped. The man let out a long yawn, overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue. He slapped his gaunt cheeks repeatedly, but the sleepiness refused to dissipate. After a moment of hesitation, the man checked the time. It seemed he could catch a short nap and still reach his destination without delay. He promptly pulled the truck over to the side of the forest road. As it happened, he also needed to relieve himself.

After refreshing himself and adjusting his trousers, the sound of dry twigs snapping came from somewhere nearby. The man surveyed his surroundings with curiosity. At this hour, in the middle of a forest path, a presence? Could it be a wild animal? Come to think of it, he seemed to recall rumors about wolves being spotted in this forest…

A chill ran down his spine. The man hurriedly turned around. But his resolve to sprint toward the truck crumbled futilely. It was because of the figure emerging from between the trees.

It was a massive black dog.

The dog, with its long muzzle, stared at the man with glassy black eyes. Its gaze was like a noose. The man, his breath catching in his throat, froze in place. Drool dripped from the tips of the growling dog’s sharp teeth. It felt as if the slightest movement would provoke those razor-like fangs to tear into his throat.

Rustle. The dog slowly approached. It was so enormous it could be called a freak of nature. To the man, whose physique was optimized for chimney sweeping, it felt even more so. His face drained of color. His body trembled like an aspen tree. Finally, his legs gave out, and he collapsed to the ground.

In that instant, the black dog leaped nimbly, pouncing on the man.

“Arghhh!”

Before he could register any sensation, the man fainted. The black dog, Ego, landed lightly and gazed at the man. The man, who had fallen backward with his pupils rolled back, showed no signs of movement. With a light snort, Ego moved forward. The two men hiding in the forest’s shadows were already seated in the truck.

“Hurry up and get in, Ego.”

Cecil, who had opened the passenger door, gestured. Ego cautiously climbed into the truck, settling over Cecil’s body. The truck was relatively small for two large men and a giant dog. Feeling the cramped space, Jeff let out a light chuckle as he started the engine.

“Good job, Ego. Thanks to you, we made it.”

Ego glanced at Jeff, then leaned against Cecil without much reaction. Cecil gently stroked Ego’s black fur and looked at Jeff. His gaze was half wonder, half concern.

“Have you ever driven?”

“Yeah, a few times back at the orphanage.”

The truck began to move. Jeff swallowed the pain in his ankle and focused on driving. But he couldn’t hide the cold sweat trickling down his forehead. Cecil’s gaze, watching him, wavered with pity.

“…I wish I knew how to drive.”

If he did, Jeff, who was in pain, could have rested a bit. Though he didn’t voice the thought, Jeff seemed to understand Cecil’s feelings and whispered with a knowing expression.

“You can learn later. I’ll teach you. Then you can drive.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Driving’s essential, so it’ll be good to learn. It might be tough now, but once we escape Collie, I’ll show you.”

With a sudden wry smile, Jeff added.

“Not that I should be saying this with a stolen truck.”

What’s done is done. Jeff shrugged lightly and stared ahead. Honestly, the relief of escaping quickly outweighed the guilt of committing a crime. Escaping Collie with an injured leg was no easy feat. Just getting out of Gray’s territory was like using up all their luck.

They hadn’t rested and kept moving, leaving them with no energy to continue. To escape safely, they needed a vehicle. Hiding in the forest’s shadows, Jeff planned to steal a car, and Cecil didn’t object. However, Cecil expressed concern about the method, and Jeff couldn’t come up with a clever solution either.

Was there ever a legal and safe way to obtain a car? Hitchhiking would expose their faces, risking future trouble. Without a way to conceal their appearance, they had to be cautious about showing themselves.

The plan they settled on was to jump in front of a moving car. When the car stopped and the driver reacted, the other person hiding would rush in. Whether through intimidation or knocking them out, physical intervention was unavoidable.

But the situation took an unexpected turn. They didn’t even need to jump in front of a car—the truck appeared and stopped on its own. Cecil and Jeff, crouched in hiding, locked eyes. A flicker of surprise passed through their gazes, soon replaced by firm resolve. As they cautiously stood, watching the man hurriedly exit the driver’s seat, Ego, who had been sitting quietly, suddenly approached the man.

All Ego did was growl and advance. Yet the man, startled by the sudden appearance of the black dog, fainted helplessly. Their grave determination seemed almost comical as the situation resolved itself so easily.

Jeff glanced at Ego. Noticing his gaze, Ego swatted Jeff’s wrist with its glossy tail. It was as if to say, “Don’t get the wrong idea—this wasn’t for you,” or perhaps a silent signal to focus ahead. Jeff let out a faint smile. Cecil, watching him, spoke.

“I’ll learn hard. I want to make things easier for you as soon as possible.”

“Good. If that’s your motivation, I’m all for it. I’ll teach you diligently too. But fair warning—I’m a pretty strict teacher. Be ready.”

“Got it. Don’t worry. I’m used to being hit…”

Screeeech!

The truck suddenly screeched to a halt. Cecil, instinctively hugging Ego, widened his eyes in shock. Jeff, gripping the steering wheel, had an enigmatic expression—part anger, part sorrow.

“Jeff? What’s wrong?”

“Cecil, you…”

Haa. Jeff let out a heavy sigh and buried his face in the steering wheel. As a startled Cecil reached out, Jeff lifted his head, meeting his eyes.

“I won’t hit you.”

“Huh?”

“I said I won’t hit you. Never.”

Why does being a strict teacher have to mean hitting? Jeff’s face contorted as he swallowed the rest of his words. Cecil’s eyes wavered in panic, realizing his slip-up.

“Jeff, I didn’t mean…”

“Driving is tied to survival, so you need to learn it thoroughly. If you mess up, I’ll call you out firmly. If you do well, I’ll praise you just as firmly. That’s what I meant by strict.”

Jeff exhaled deeply and added resolutely.

“I might speak harshly, but I’ll never lay a hand on you.”

Cecil’s eyelashes fluttered slowly. Staring blankly at Jeff, he opened and closed his mouth. “Okay,” he finally said in a faint voice. Only then did Jeff restart the engine.

“Good. That’s settled. And on another note, when we find a new town, we’ll change our clothes first. Escaping in the clothes provided by the mansion is too risky. We’ll go for plain ones, though they’ll probably feel different from what you’re used to. It’ll be uncomfortable.”

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

“You’ll need a wig or hat too. To hide your face.”

“Yeah. That’s fine too.”

“The quality of food and lodging won’t compare to the mansion. We might even have to live in this cramped truck for a while.”

“Yeah. That’s fine. It’s all fine.”

“Cecil, how is everything fine?”

Jeff let out a hollow laugh.

“Honestly, the food and shelter at Gray’s were impressive. Even the annex’s furniture and beds were more than decent, no denying that. So I’m warning you—it’s going to be tough from now on.”

Swallowing a silent sigh, Jeff spoke with a determined expression.

“But, Cecil, I promise you this.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ll make sure you can live in a place where you feel safe.”

I’ll make sure you don’t regret leaving the mansion. Swallowing the words on the tip of his tongue, Jeff smiled.

“Count on it. I’ll make it happen.”

The sunlight settling on his eyelids felt heavy. It was the sensation of waking up. Opening his eyes, Jeff stared blankly at the window. The sun was burning vividly.

Even if he became a soul after death, he wouldn’t be able to touch it. Knowing he could never get close, why did it feel like the sun was right in front of him? Was it the warmth? Come to think of it, why was his whole body so warm…

“Ah…”

He realized the reason for the cozy sensation—it was the ticklish feeling and weight. At some point, Ego, who had been nestled in Cecil’s arms, was now draped across Jeff’s lap. That wasn’t all. Cecil, with his head resting on Jeff’s shoulder, was asleep, clutching Jeff’s arm. The warmth came from their body heat.

“…”

It looks uncomfortable.

Cecil was fast asleep. Jeff wanted to adjust his position to let him rest comfortably but couldn’t bring himself to wake him. He noticed fatigue and scratches on Cecil’s clear face under the sunlight.

Jeff swallowed the rising anger and sigh. The image of Cecil on that damned stage kept flickering in his mind. At the same time, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the faint scratches on his pale cheeks. Who left those marks? Was it that praying mantis, the one who mercilessly harmed its own kind?

Separate from his anger at whoever hurt Cecil, Jeff felt a mix of pity and curiosity toward the “bug” forced to perform on that stage. They said the “bug” had an instinct to harm living beings. But now he knew there could be desires stronger than that instinct. The “bugs” living with suppressed instincts and desires didn’t seem so different from humans.

The line between human and monster even felt meaningless now. It wasn’t about appearances or shadows—it was a matter of inner essence.

But Jeff’s question was whether everything he saw that day was driven by instinct. If it was an act the “bug” didn’t want, if Gray had made it that way…

You can’t undo what’s done. Still, he wanted to know the process leading up to it. If he could, maybe he could find answers to his confused heart. Whether they were right or wrong, selfish or selfless.

…Maybe I just want to justify it.

That the killings that day were inevitable. That they were done to survive. That they were just making those who caused harm pay a fair price. Maybe that’s why he was thinking about the process before the outcome.

Jeff withdrew his trembling hand from hovering over the scratches. It was a hand heavy with lingering sensations, a weight he’d carry for life. Touching the wounds with such a hand felt like deceit.

The first thing Cecil did upon waking was check on Jeff. He seemed startled for a moment by their locked gazes but soon let his calm eyes wander over Jeff’s face.

“The swelling’s gone down a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So I can see it better now. Here. The scraped-up wound.”

Cecil’s fingertips touched Jeff’s cheek. As he gently brushed it, Jeff let out a faint laugh at the ticklish sensation. Cecil spoke in a subdued voice.

“How did this happen?”

“Well, just… got trampled by a boot during a scuffle.”

“Trampled by a boot…”

The clear blue eyes, once so pure, clouded as if sediment had settled in them. Then his hand moved to the bruised purple neck.

“Here too?”

“Yeah.”

“…It looks painful.”

“It’s not that bad…”

Jeff started to say it didn’t hurt as much as it looked but changed his words.

“No, it hurts. It does hurt.”

If he downplayed his wounds, Cecil might ignore his own pain too.

“See? I knew it.”

“What about you? You know you’ve got a scratch on your cheek too, right?”

“A scratch? Where?”

Cecil looked puzzled. He hadn’t even noticed the scratch on his own cheek. Jeff sighed and carefully pointed to his right cheek.

“Here. It’s faint, but there’s a long scratch. Didn’t it hurt?”

“I didn’t know. It didn’t hurt either.”

“Maybe not to you, but it looks painful to others.”

Jeff said quietly.

“I appreciate you worrying about my wounds, but I wish you’d take care of yourself first.”

“But I’m not in much pain. You’re the one who’s…”

“Stop.”

Jeff cut him off, lightly flicking Cecil’s nose.

“This isn’t a contest to see who’s in more pain. I’m just saying don’t forget you’re hurt too.”

“But Jeff, I’m not hurt enough to be called a patient…”

“Think only people with fatal illnesses are patients? Anyone who’s injured and needs treatment is a patient. I’m a patient, and so are you. The only one here who isn’t?”

His gaze dropped to Ego as he added.

“Just this guy.”

Ego cracked its eyes open. Those glossy black eyes, indifferent to their conversation, were filled only with sleepiness. Jeff subtly stroked Ego’s fur and said.

“Hey, how about you, the healthy one, take the wheel?”

A snort resembling a sigh came from Ego. It turned its head and closed its eyes.

“He says no.”

“Ego can’t drive, Jeff.”

“Well, judging by his actions, I bet he could.”

Jeff chuckled.

“Don’t forget, Cecil. While we were stupidly staring at each other, who was the one who stepped up and hijacked the truck? Without Ego’s help, we’d still be in Collie. This guy’s smart.”

“You’re right. Ego’s smart.”

Cecil softly closed his eyes and stroked Ego’s face. Ego licked his fingers, looking quite pleased.

“So we’ve got to step up too.”

Jeff flashed a grin.

“We can’t keep relying on Ego. To get through this, we can’t neglect our health. That goes for me and you, Cecil. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. From now on, we tell each other about every little injury. You might not notice your own state, but you can see the other person’s right away.”

“You can see the other person’s right away.”

Parroting his words, Cecil fixed his gaze on Jeff’s face.

“You’re right. I can’t see myself, but I can see the other person clearly.”

His blue eyes held Jeff steadily.

“So, I can look out for you.”

A warm fingertip brushed near Jeff’s eyes. It gently traced his thick, long lashes, the hollows of his eyes, and the traces of fatigue beneath them. The cautious hand then grazed the scraped cheek and paused at the dry, scabbed lips.

“…”

The musician’s fingertips, calloused yet soft, lingered. So did the clear face that drew near. The blue eyes, no longer bathed in dawn’s moonlight but in warm sunlight, and the quiet breath against his skin were just as soft.

…If I leaned in and our faces touched, how would Cecil react?

A strange heat rose from his chest. The warmth, spreading slowly through his veins, grew hotter.

Thump, thump. His heart pounded loudly. Jeff looked down at Cecil. Cecil’s eyes widened slightly. Being so close, he must have felt Jeff’s heartbeat too. The hand hovering over his face slowly moved downward, toward the pulsing spot, and stopped.

“…Now.”

Before it could touch, Jeff grabbed the hand and lowered it.

“Now… shall we get moving?”

His voice came out slightly hoarse. His hand trembled faintly, but he didn’t show it. “Okay,” Cecil nodded obediently and pulled back. Only after Ego, curled up on his lap, turned to Cecil did Jeff press his chest to steady his breathing. As he calmed down, a wave of accumulated hunger hit.

“…Thanks to moving fast, we’ve gotten pretty far. We can’t let our guard down yet, but… we need to find a diner today. If we keep starving, we’ll drop dead.”

Luckily, the truck’s driver had left some biscuits. But they were far too few for three. Last night, after three days of rationing them, the dry, crumbly biscuits ran out completely.

Jeff looked at Cecil and Ego with a heavy heart. He was used to hunger and deprivation, but they probably weren’t. Yet neither showed it, which made him both grateful and guilty.

“Forget disguises for now—let’s eat first.”

You can’t escape properly on an empty stomach. Determined to fill their bellies today, Jeff started the engine.

How long did they drive? By the time the sun was high, they found a diner in a small suburban town. Jeff parked in a secluded spot and looked at Cecil and Ego with a serious expression.

“Listen up. From now on, we need to change our identities. You know why.”

“Yeah. Because Wayne’s probably chasing us.”

“Right. But honestly, names and identities don’t matter much. You can lie about those as needed. What matters are appearances and distinguishing features. Wayne knows that too. He’s probably got our photos out there, with bounties or people watching for us.”

Cecil nodded in agreement. Jeff continued.

“But even Gray can’t have reached a small town like this yet. We can’t be careless, but without a way to disguise ourselves right now, we have to move boldly.”

Rubbing his hungry stomach, Jeff took a short breath.

“Like I said, we need a proper meal. You can’t escape if you’re starving.”

“You’re right. We need to eat something.”

Cecil said, furrowing his clear brow.

“You’re too skinny right now.”

Jeff let out a hollow laugh.

“That’s my line.”

“No, you’re skinnier than me…”

“Look in a mirror before you talk.”

“I did.”

“Hah, you’re getting cheeky.”

Cecil didn’t respond, just turned away with a prim look. Like a stubborn cat, making Jeff laugh despite himself.

“Fine. We’re both wasting away, so let’s not waste energy arguing.”

Waving it off casually, Jeff continued.

“Anyway, we’ll head straight to a diner when we enter the town. But first, we need to settle on our names and relationship. I’ve got something in mind.”

“What’s that?”

Cecil tilted his head. Jeff grinned and added leisurely.