WHF Ch 34 – Premarital Chastity

There was no need to make excuses. When it came to testing others’ patience, Yu Tianbai was a professional. But he hadn’t expected Xiu Ma to get angry over physical contact—if that could even be called physical contact.

He turned back to face the steering wheel and tossed the object backward with a flick of his hand. The heavy silicone item landed on a cardboard box, then crashed onto some packaging, making a clattering, earth-shaking noise, likely scattering everything on the floor. Neither of them looked back. If there had been a third person in the van, they would surely have started imagining danger lurking everywhere.

But there was no third person here, just two people who couldn’t care less about each other’s well-being.

“I thought you’d gotten used to my way of doing things,” Yu Tianbai said, lifting his shirt to reach for his cigarette pack. The best move right now was to step outside for some air, far away from this powder keg. “What did I even do?”

Xiu Ma, arms crossed, stared out the window, deliberately avoiding the rearview mirror. Still, he could see Yu Tianbai pulling out a cigarette—this guy was trying to escape. Before Yu Tianbai could open the door, Xiu Ma turned his head first. “I’m saying, don’t use those things on me ever again.”

Boss Yu’s sneaky hand, poised on the door latch, froze. He waited a second before turning to look, his face full of disbelief. “What?”

Xiu Ma maintained his arms-crossed stance, certain the unlucky boss had heard him clearly. “I’m not going to use your stuff,” he repeated, adding for clarity, “They don’t interest me. I don’t want to use them, and I’m not curious about them.”

The boss looked bewildered, so Xiu Ma didn’t shut the door completely. “You’re welcome to use them yourself.”

But that didn’t seem quite right. Xiu Ma quickly clarified, “Not in front of me, and don’t let me know about it.”

That was the end of the explanation. The outburst left Yu Tianbai a bit dazed. The unlucky boss felt a twinge of guilt and came to a conclusion. “You’re not some kind of premarital chastity advocate, are you? No, you’re not, because you’re—”

Into men.

The response was the sound of a door slamming. Xiu Ma had opened the door and gotten out before Yu Tianbai could, leaving him holding an unlit cigarette.

Hopefully, it wasn’t too cold outside, since the young master had left without a jacket. In the northern wind, the drawstring of his hoodie was blown to the side of his head, mingling with his blond hair. After a moment, his hand reached behind his ear to pull the string away, but he showed no intention of turning around.

Yu Tianbai looked at the cigarette in his hand, then lowered his head to glance outside. The kid wasn’t coming back. He put the cigarette to his lips, thought better of it, and tucked it back into the pack. Reluctantly, he felt like he’d done something wrong.

But what exactly had he done wrong?

The young master wasn’t the same as when they first met. His arrogance now carried a touch of refinement—not in terms of work or accounting, where he was a great employee, but he was still a young master, especially when angry. In those moments, Yu Tianbai just wanted to call him “Your Highness.”

Still, the young master’s wish to go to Mudanjiang wasn’t entirely impossible.

Yu Tianbai had done plenty of outrageous things. What was revisiting an old flame compared to that? Maybe the young master really just wanted to see the world and witness some adult conversations. If he couldn’t fulfill this small wish for his employee, wouldn’t that make him a pretty lousy boss?

But saying it like that, just going for a quick visit seemed like making trouble for no reason. Yu Tianbai had a principle: if he was going to stir things up, he’d go big.

The spring breeze swept through the dead branches by the roadside flowerbed. It had to be cold out there. Yu Tianbai lowered his head and opened the passenger-side window. The glass buzzed as it descended fully. “Get in, Your Highness!”

The title made Xiu Ma, standing ahead, pause. He turned his head slightly but didn’t look directly at Yu Tianbai, though his mouth opened. “What did you call me?”

Yu Tianbai wasn’t keen on repeating those two words. He stared straight ahead. “I changed my mind. I’ll take you to Mudanjiang.”

At those words, the blond head outside whipped around so fast it practically made a sound. Xiu Ma stepped back, pressed his hand to the window frame, and looked at him. “You’re really taking me?”

So easy to please.

Now the question was: why was the young master so set on going to Mudanjiang? He’d said himself he didn’t care about the knife. Yu Tianbai didn’t believe someone who drove a Ferrari would trek through black soil and cornfields just to visit a glass factory. Was he really there to see Sun Jiu?

Thinking about it, their first meeting hadn’t exactly been pleasant.

Yu Tianbai didn’t look at Xiu Ma, tugging his seatbelt. “Lift your hand. I’m closing the window.”

The young master hurriedly raised his hand, opened the door, and got back in, looking eagerly at the calm-faced boss. Yu Tianbai had the distinct feeling of being watched by a dog.

“Buckle your seatbelt,” he reminded Xiu Ma.

The young master obeyed, fastening the buckle while asking, “Isn’t Mudanjiang pretty far from here?”

“Not far. How could anywhere in the Northeast be far?” Boss Yu replied confidently.

Both seatbelts were fastened, but the van didn’t move. Yu Tianbai gave a knowing smile. “No rush. First, I’m taking you somewhere nice.”

Somewhere nice?

Yu Tianbai had taken him to plenty of so-called nice places, but Xiu Ma hadn’t expected this one to be this nice.

An hour later, they were back on the provincial road from Jilin to Heilongjiang, meeting the cousin who’d once sold them gradient silicone tentacles. This time, though, a brush, ink, paper, and inkstone were laid out before him.

“That’s how it is. Please lend us the suona band.”

After the calligraphy setup came Yu Tianbai, sitting cross-legged on an Eight Immortals stool, with Xiu Ma standing behind him, hands clasped, barely daring to breathe. For two reasons: first, he had no idea what a suona band was for, and second, he still couldn’t understand the cousin’s speech.

In the rather serious atmosphere, the cousin picked up the brush, rolled up his sleeves, and calmly began writing, speaking in Cantonese that Xiu Ma couldn’t understand.

People have a quirk: when they hear others conversing fluently in a language they don’t understand, it feels like another species is talking in their ears. Once that feeling takes root, it grows into a rhythm—birdsong, floral scents, lingering echoes. Xiu Ma couldn’t help but want to laugh.

When Yu Tianbai responded fluently in this incomprehensible language, Xiu Ma finally let out a chuckle.

In the hall with the Eight Immortals table, purple clay teaware, and calligraphy supplies, the stern-faced young man’s sudden cold laugh didn’t bode well. Fortunately, his boss had a solution.

Yu Tianbai took a deep breath and gestured toward the blond kid beside him. “This is the martial arts master we’ve hired.”

Huh?

Yu Tianbai’s nicknames for him had evolved from young master to Your Highness, and now to martial arts master.

The cousin sized Xiu Ma up and gave a response in his own language, which Xiu Ma couldn’t understand.

The absurdity didn’t stop at the “martial arts master” title. It had started the moment they walked in. Boss Yu sat upright in the hall, passionately weaving a tale of perilous love, hatred, and stormy adventures, with a touch of fantasy. Xiu Ma didn’t understand the point of the story, but that didn’t matter, because he also didn’t get why Yu Tianbai needed a suona band. There were too many things he didn’t understand—what was one or two more?

So, what did “martial arts master” mean?

Xiu Ma’s gaze shifted to Yu Tianbai, who was sitting steadily on the stool. He didn’t look back but calmly asked the cousin, “Do you need him to perform for you?”

Meaning, for Xiu Ma to perform.

Huh?

Finally, someone was looking at Xiu Ma—but not Yu Tianbai. It was the man across the table, staring at this so-called master with poise and delivering another line in that incomprehensible language.

What?

Yu Tianbai swiveled halfway on the rosewood chair, looking up with earnest sincerity at his newly anointed master. “It’s showtime, Master.”

In the corridor outside the hall, Xiu Ma quickened his pace to catch up with Yu Tianbai. The man ahead was clearly pleased, his steps lively.

“What’s this about?” Xiu Ma finally drew level with him, lowering his voice to ask.

Boss Yu remained calm. “Don’t you know martial arts? Perform at the market later. It’s on you.”

With that, he gave two firm pats to the outside of Xiu Ma’s arm—not to express trust in his subordinate but to test whether the martial artist he’d just boasted about had enough muscle. He did. The martial artist, dazed by the pats, clutched his numbed arm, took a dozen more steps, and then realized his boss hadn’t addressed his actual question.

“So, what’s the performance for? And what’s with the suona? Weren’t we going to Mudanjiang to find that Sun guy? What does this have to do with Mudanjiang?”

He fired off his questions in one breath. The man in front stopped abruptly, turning to face him—not because Xiu Ma had said something wrong, but because they’d left the cousin’s turf and were now by their van.

“No, but it’s been a while since I saw an old friend. I want to give him a little surprise.”

Old friend, meaning the glass factory’s boss, the reason for this trip—Sun Jiu.

With that, a smile crept into Yu Tianbai’s eyes, the kind he was best at: seemingly friendly but effortlessly sly. Xiu Ma felt a chill down his spine, scratched the back of his head, glanced to the side, then clasped his hands behind his back and looked at the ground. “Don’t I count as a surprise? The guy who threw a stool at you last time is now tagging along. That’s gotta count for something—”

“Why does your height and build feel so familiar? Have we met someone like you before?” Yu Tianbai suddenly interrupted, standing straight with his hands in his pockets, stepping closer to Xiu Ma.

Yu Tianbai wasn’t short, and his sudden approach always made Xiu Ma want to step back. This time, though, he didn’t. He answered stiffly, “Are you sure that wasn’t just me?”

“No, his face wasn’t as small as yours. Who was it?” Yu Tianbai fell into thought, his bright eyes gazing somewhere upward. Xiu Ma stared at him for a good five seconds, then remembered his question had been sidetracked.

“You still haven’t told me why I need to perform.”

Yu Tianbai’s eyes returned, and he stepped back, looking aside as he finally explained. “You heard earlier. I told the boss we’re going to Mudanjiang to perform and need a suona band.”

So that’s what it was. Without the reliable adult’s explanation, Xiu Ma wouldn’t have understood that the wild tale Yu Tianbai spun was about this. It sounded absurd, but on Yu Tianbai, it made sense. His storytelling rivaled the tearful Tibet trip saga.

But the performer gets played.

“He didn’t believe I’d switched to this, so I need to prove it.”

Feeling his acting skills were questioned, Yu Tianbai clicked his tongue in disdain. Xiu Ma couldn’t help but applaud the cousin’s shrewdness, throwing in a jab at the stumbling Yu Tianbai. “Looks like running your mouth isn’t new for you.”

The unlucky boss, who’d just tripped up, ignored the comment, peering into the market as if searching for something.

“Showing off a bit isn’t a big deal,” Xiu Ma said, stretching his shoulders. He was used to performing martial arts. “But why’d that guy listen to your nonsense for so long?”

Facing Xiu Ma’s question, Yu Tianbai slowly turned his head, his smile different this time—genuine, heartfelt, and up to no good.

After a few seconds of locking eyes with a bewildered, arm-stretching Xiu Ma, Yu Tianbai gave his answer. “Monkey tricks—who doesn’t love a show?”

Monkey?

The wind picked up. At that moment, Xiu Ma felt like the breeze wasn’t ruffling his hair but monkey fur.