WHF Ch 5 – I’m Talking to You, Where Are You Looking?

People say sons resemble their mothers, and Yu Tianbai was certainly no exception.

When he was little and still living in the compound, everyone would say he looked like his mother—the upturned corners of his mouth, his beautiful nose bridge, eyes that would redden and tear up in the wind, and his tall stature. These descriptors were always mentioned with a gentle tone, so resembling his mother was a good thing, as Yu Tianbai had always believed.

So what kind of person would this boy’s mother be?

In a large estate in downtown Changchun, behind red-tiled white brick walls, lived a wealthy lady who never had to lift a finger. Most importantly, she must be extremely beautiful—this was what he guessed from looking at Xiu Ma’s face. Of course, all these assumptions were Yu Tianbai’s reasonable imagination based on TV dramas, and none of it matched the voice he had just heard.

The voice was rough, with murky endings, like what you’d hear walking through a market or on a public bus—certainly not from behind red-tiled white brick walls.

But Xiu Ma was responding to her in a perfectly normal manner:

“That’s not the case. What are you talking about?”

Very obedient, very un-Xiu Ma-like, like a good child from an ordinary family.

“People have told me you went out to work on your own, that he’s not giving you money anymore, right? I knew it was too good to be true. Without me, he wouldn’t even want you as a son.”

Not only was the voice irritable, but the accent was also heavy. To Yu Tianbai, all the accents from the three northeastern provinces sounded more or less the same. He only remembered the Changchun accent most distinctly—like late spring snow, heavy and thick.

The cigarette was lit, and he took a drag, trying to let the north wind fill his ears. He didn’t want to hear this conversation that made him frown involuntarily, especially after just confiscating that kid’s twenty-thousand-yuan knife. But at this moment, the snowy plain was extraordinarily quiet, with only the slight sound of his feet crunching on the snow.

After a silence, Xiu Ma’s answer came.

“That won’t happen. It’s nothing, I wanted to go out on my own.”

Yu Tianbai took a few more steps into the snow, once again emphasizing to himself that he had no interest in eavesdropping—it was just that everything was too audible on the snowy grounds.

The north wind finally picked up as he’d hoped, and he heard nothing more. He drew on the cigarette until the tip glowed bright, with mixed feelings in his heart. When the cigarette burned down to the filter, he stamped out the light in the snow. Inside the car, the call had ended, and Xiu Ma silently tucked the phone back into his pocket.

Yu Tianbai closed the driver’s door and silently pulled on his seatbelt.

“Are you hungry?”

It was noon, and that was the first thing that came to mind. And for some reason, the anger he felt before getting out of the car had completely dissipated.

Xiu Ma lowered his gaze toward the windshield wipers, his lips pressed together as he gave a slight acknowledgment.

Five kilometers later, the van arrived at a service area. This was the first stop along the back roads, sparsely populated, with barely modern facilities, and a self-service buffet for thirty-five yuan per person.

Yu Tianbai paid for the meal and sat across from Xiu Ma, who had already filled his plate and was putting a piece of breaded chicken into his mouth. In fact, he’d probably already eaten quite a bit, given that half his plate was filled with chicken.

“I thought you wouldn’t be used to cheap food,” Yu Tianbai said, taking a sip of tea, as Xiu Ma popped another piece of chicken into his mouth.

This was true. Yu Tianbai knew the eating habits of wealthy people. The food at service areas was probably just a combination of carbohydrates and seasonings to them. In the middle of nowhere, there was no raw beef or sashimi, but Xiu Ma had casually taken five dishes, one soup, one bowl of rice, and a bottle of Arctic Ocean soda.

“It’s no different,” he opened the can. “Food is food.”

But his manner of eating was indeed like that of a young master. Each mouthful of rice was modest, and he ate without making a sound. Still, he looked like he was enjoying his food, which prompted Yu Tianbai to pick up his chopsticks as well. After sending a few bites of blanched vegetable hearts to his mouth, he remembered what he had wanted to ask Xiu Ma.

He swallowed his food and asked, “Are you okay?”

At the question, Xiu Ma paused his chopsticks.

This was what Yu Tianbai had wanted to ask since earlier. After the wind picked up, he hadn’t heard Xiu Ma’s phone call clearly. The person on the other end kept making sarcastic remarks, while Xiu Ma merely responded. He didn’t believe that such a phone call wouldn’t affect the young master’s heart.

In fact, Xiu Ma had put down his chopsticks only to drink his Arctic Ocean soda.

After the carbonated drink went down, he picked up his chopsticks again:

“Instead of worrying about me, you should return my property.”

His twenty-thousand-yuan Italian handcrafted knife was still in Yu Tianbai’s inner pocket, cold against his chest.

“I can’t return it to you now,” Yu Tianbai rested his hand on his face. “I’ll give it back when there’s real danger.”

Xiu Ma looked up at him.

“Bringing a weapon while riding in my car is quite disrespectful,” Yu Tianbai said. “Don’t you trust me to protect you?”

This question didn’t stir much reaction. Xiu Ma chewed silently, and after swallowing, he looked up again.

“How did you act earlier?”

Was that a compliment? Yu Tianbai raised his eyebrows while holding his cup.

“My eyes tear up when I stare for a long time. It’s a useful skill.”

Indeed very useful. From childhood, whenever he made a mistake, tears would flow if he just stood still, making both teachers and parents think he was seriously reflecting on his actions.

The chopsticks turned once in Xiu Ma’s hand, and he asked, “Is what happened today common for drivers—do you often encounter this?”

Yu Tianbai didn’t answer immediately. He turned to look at the front hall. It wasn’t yet the end of the Lunar New Year, so the service area was quiet. There weren’t many people in the dining area, and in five rows of seats forward and backward, theirs was the only occupied table. On the white tile floor, a cleaning staff was slowly mopping.

“Not often on the road, but frequently in life.”

After saying this, Yu Tianbai finally turned back to look at his own plate. This person seemed to have little interest in food; his white porcelain plate held only a handful of blanched vegetable hearts. He had been drinking hot chrysanthemum tea since earlier, but now he’d stopped and was staring at the wall-mounted TV in the hall. From beginning to end, only Xiu Ma had been using his chopsticks.

Xiu Ma stared at him, then slowly brought another piece of Dongpo pork to his mouth.

He looked somewhat different from two years ago, though Xiu Ma couldn’t pinpoint exactly how. Maybe it was because then it was summer, and now it was winter. He himself had also grown taller since he was nineteen, but Yu Tianbai’s impression on him had never changed. Even sitting still, cold air seemed to lean toward this person, which made Xiu Ma very uncomfortable, as if Yu Tianbai was much older and knew much more than him—as if he really could be his uncle.

Xiu Ma was a straightforward person, so he asked directly:

“How old are you?”

Yu Tianbai pulled down the zipper of his turtleneck sweatshirt and smiled kindly: “Why do you ask? Confirming whether I can be your uncle?”

Under this smile with its complex implications, Xiu Ma looked at him with chopsticks in his mouth, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

The person across leaned back in his chair and calmly replied: “Eight years older than you. Theoretically, I could be your elder.”

Xiu Ma’s twisted mouth relaxed.

“Eight years? You’re almost thirty?”

Yu Tianbai bit his lower lip and inhaled: “I’ll be thirty this August—are you that eager for me to be your elder?”

“I thought you were only four or five years older than me.” But honestly, Xiu Ma had no real concept of what twenty-five or twenty-six meant; he was just making an approximation.

“When you said you were twenty-one, I was quite surprised too,” Yu Tianbai wiped his lips with his hand. “The thoughts I had about you earlier were a bit premature.”

Premature? Xiu Ma chewed his food, pondering the things Yu Tianbai had said and done to him. If he was referring to the time he kicked him off the car, then yes, that was a bit premature, or rather, like a grandparent bullying someone.

However, the person sitting across from him was thinking of something completely different.

Slept together. Yu Tianbai was grateful he hadn’t said those two words when they first met.

“So,” Yu Tianbai cleared his throat, “I’m really not good with children.”

His collar was open, and Xiu Ma could see the string of small red beads around his neck, flashing red, as if smiling at him. But suddenly he felt somewhat impolite, like when he was in elementary school, staring at a pretty older sister who bent down to tease him.

Wait, what kind of comparison is that?

Xiu Ma furrowed his brows and blinked hard, lifting his gaze upward. Yu Tianbai was tilting his head, looking at him, still smiling.

“I’m talking to you, where are you looking?”

Unfortunately for Yu Tianbai, Xiu Ma had been quite cute as a child and was quite adept at handling this level of teasing.

“Staring at your face all the time would be tiring. You go on.”

Yu Tianbai shifted his gaze away and went back to watching the TV.

“I said I’m not good with children—my friends’ kids, my younger brother, and previous partners. They all gave me headaches. I couldn’t get along with any of them.”

At this moment, Xiu Ma felt he was talking nonsense. He was clearly very adept at bullying others, and if a child cried, this person would definitely be the one laughing the hardest. Staring at his profile, Xiu Ma suddenly wanted to ask a question:

“So when you were acting earlier and said you fell in love with an older woman, was it because you actually like older women?”

Yu Tianbai turned his face back but didn’t look at him, opening his mouth as if wanting to speak but hesitating.

“You could say that. I still prefer people older than me.”

Then he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, and said: “But I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I won’t take extra care of you just because you’re younger. To be honest, I don’t think you belong here. You belong in a villa, living a comfortable life. I can take you back after lunch. Consider today as just an outing. After you return, find a suitable, respectable job that fits you. This place is only suitable for ordinary people like me, understand?”

He was trying to get rid of him.

This was what he had wanted to do since they first set out. Now he had finally made up his mind—send the young master back to his comfortable life, and he could go on his way triumphantly.

“No.” But Xiu Ma’s refusal came firmly and decisively.

“If I really can’t stay,” he added, “I’ll go back on my own. You don’t need to force me.”

Yu Tianbai looked at him silently, then grinned, appearing satisfied: “Fine, you said it yourself.”

At this moment, Yu Tianbai was truly grateful to him. If not for the kid’s added condition for leaving, he wouldn’t have known what to do next.

“Then I wish you a smooth journey,” Yu Tianbai raised his cup.

“Aren’t you the driver?” Xiu Ma was puzzled by his smile.

Yu Tianbai still answered him with a smile.