WIL CH 4

Chapter 4: Thinking He’s Dirty

“Hmm.”

Lin Xi tried to change the subject. “Have you eaten dinner?”

Wen Feng’s lips curved into a faint smile as he forcefully pulled Lin Xi into his embrace. “Oh? You’re concerned about me?”

“There are some snacks at home, I’ll go get them.” Lin Xi tried to wriggle out of Wen Feng’s hold to go to the living room.

Wen Feng pulled him back, pressing his lips against Lin Xi’s, his tone teasing: “Just eating you is enough.”

Lin Xi knew exactly what he meant, and the tips of his ears flushed red. Wen Feng lifted his chin and kissed his cool lips—tainted with toothpaste. He kissed him lightly and whispered into his ear, “Remember what I said, right? You haven’t forgotten?”

Both of them understood each other perfectly.

“No,” Lin Xi replied.

Wen Feng seemed relieved. “Good.”

“Go to the bed.”

Lin Xi clutched his hands, feeling embarrassed. He stammered, “That… ran out.”

Wen Feng looked serious, as if he didn’t understand. “Ran out of what?”

“Condoms… you used them last time and didn’t buy more.”

“No problem, we don’t need to use it.” Wen Feng’s warm hands began to slide under his clothes, quickly finding the sensitive curve of Lin Xi’s waist and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Lin Xi shivered, pushing the man off him instinctively. Without thinking, he blurted out, “No!”

Although they didn’t talk much in daily life, in bed Lin Xi usually went along with Wen Feng—mostly because he couldn’t resist him. Wen Feng looked confused by Lin Xi’s reaction.

“Why not?”

Lin Xi’s pajamas had just been pulled aside, exposing a large part of his chest. He pulled the thin blanket over himself and curled up against the headboard, eyes downcast. “I… I’m afraid of getting sick.”

The room fell silent, the atmosphere chilling to an icy point. Lin Xi didn’t dare look up at Wen Feng.

Wen Feng’s face instantly lost all color. Lin Xi’s words struck like arrows, slow but painful.

Clenching his teeth, he said coldly, “Lin Xi, what the hell are you saying? Are you saying I’m dirty now?”

Lin Xi felt his head heavy, unable to lift it to meet Wen Feng’s burning gaze—a gaze that felt like it could turn him to ashes.

It wasn’t until a heavy slam of a door echoed through the room that Lin Xi looked up at the closed door, his eyes trembling slightly, his entire body chilled.

He hadn’t meant to refuse Wen Feng; today, he didn’t know why, but there was an unrelenting discomfort in his chest that had nowhere to go.

He was grateful for Wen Feng’s generosity three years ago. One and a half million… for him at that time, it was astronomical. No matter how many part-time jobs he worked tirelessly, he could never have earned that amount so quickly.

When he was six, his parents divorced. Li Jingshu couldn’t take him away and left him with Lin Youshan. At that age, he didn’t fully understand what divorce was, but he was glad Li Jingshu had left the household.

Not long after, Lin Youshan remarried. The new woman was kind and gentle, and treated Lin Xi well. Gradually, she replaced Li Jingshu in his heart, and he felt like his mother was with him again.

But after only five years, Lin Youshan divorced again. In his youth, Lin Youshan had a good appearance and tall stature, giving a strong first impression. But over time, his true nature showed—short-tempered, rough, addicted to gambling and smoking, constantly switching jobs. On top of that, he frequently abused the family. Whenever he was displeased or drunk, he would scold and beat people. Lin Xi had often hidden in closets as a child, listening to the screams and crashing sounds from the living room.

From a young age, Lin Xi knew he had to study hard, get into a big city, and escape this terrifying, hostile home.

Fortunately, Lin Xi was admitted to a top university in a major city. Lin Youshan, delighted, held a celebration in their shabby two-bedroom apartment with over twenty relatives and friends. Lin Xi still remembered that day clearly. By then, Lin Youshan was no longer young. After divorcing his stepmother, no woman wanted to live with him anymore. He drank heavily every day, his belly growing bigger, boasting to the relatives about how accomplished his son was and how much effort he had put into raising Lin Xi to be a university student. The whole banquet was for Lin Xi, but he didn’t say a word.

When Lin Youshan refused to provide tuition, Lin Xi earned it himself. That summer after high school graduation, he worked three part-time jobs every day to pay for school. It wasn’t hard—he felt life had hope.

After leaving home, Lin Xi felt completely free. But that freedom lasted less than three years. One day during the second semester of his junior year, Lin Youshan came looking for him with a group of intimidating men. Lin Xi had just left the library, on his way to work at a milk tea shop, when he was intercepted.

Lin Xi was stunned. Five or six men surrounded Lin Youshan, all with fierce looks—clearly not good people. He immediately suspected his father had gotten into serious trouble.

And indeed he had. Lin Youshan demanded money. “Lin Xi, do you have money? I’ve got a problem and I need it urgently.” His father looked haggard, hair unwashed for days, face worn with fatigue. He squinted through wrinkled eyes, asking Lin Xi for money.

Lin Youshan was still his father. No matter what kind of person he was, or the mistakes he had made, it didn’t change the fact that he was Lin Xi’s father. Lin Xi couldn’t let him be beaten.

“How much do you need?”

Lin Youshan hesitated for a long time before finally saying, “O… one million.”

“What?” Lin Xi felt the world spin. One million… he, a college student relying on scholarships and part-time jobs, could never have that much. It was astronomical.

“Dad, what did you do? Why do you need a million?” Lin Xi trembled. A muscular man wearing a gold chain took a white-on-black document from a briefcase under his arm and placed it in front of Lin Xi.

His hands shaking, Lin Xi took it. After reading the content, his carefully maintained little patch of sky completely collapsed. Lin Youshan had borrowed high-interest loans in his name. Originally fifty thousand, it had now doubled to one hundred thousand.

“Lin Xi, you got into a top university. You must have a way to earn money, right? You’re the only university student in our family. I just wanted to borrow some money, but those people are bad—they even scammed me. Lin Xi… I’m your father. You’re my only son. I have no choice but to come to you.” Lin Youshan grabbed his hands, trembling, tears streaming down his face, looking utterly pathetic. He seemed to have found a lifeline and clung to Lin Xi.

“Lin Xi, I have no choice but to come to you. You’re a student at a top university. Surely you can help.” He was nearly kneeling, his back bent.

Lin Xi had always thought that once he got into university and moved to another city, he could escape his past life. But he had thought too easily. One’s birth already determined a person’s fate. This was his destiny, his tribulation. He could never escape it.

“Let’s move outside the school.” Lin Xi tried to stay calm. Their little scene outside the library had already attracted a crowd, with people whispering.

“Isn’t that Lin Xi from the Animation Department? What’s going on? Is that his dad?”

“I heard he’s dating Jiang Boqing, though Jiang hasn’t been to school for several days.”

“Ah… and he’s gay too.”

“…”

“What are those people doing?”

Lin Xi didn’t want the last bit of his sanctuary to be destroyed. He led Lin Youshan and the others away from the school.

The group of debt collectors surrounded Lin Xi and Lin Youshan as they walked along the campus path. Lin Xi remained silent, his expression as if facing the Grim Reaper. He had no way to resolve this. One million yuan… he couldn’t come up with it. He had been studying diligently, done nothing wrong, yet owed one million. One million. Perhaps only by selling his blood, heart, and organs could he raise that much.

He kept his head down, staring at the cement path beneath his feet, wanting to get past the school gate as quickly as possible.

Suddenly, a pair of sneakers appeared in his line of sight. Before he could dodge, his head collided with them.

Wen Feng and Qin Zhiyan were close to graduating from their master’s programs and rarely returned to campus. Yet of all times, Lin Xi ran into them. He looked up and saw Wen Feng’s face, then flinched and took a step back, mumbling, “Sorry.”

He hurriedly stepped aside and kept walking, burying his head, only wanting to leave school and find somewhere private to deal with his problem.

Wen Feng didn’t say anything. Behind him, Qin Zhiyan’s voice rang out: “Wen, what are you doing? Why are you walking into people on a wide road? Young as you are, your eyesight failing already?”

Lin Xi walked faster and faster, until the voices behind him faded into silence.

After some negotiation, they decided to give Lin Xi and Lin Youshan one last week. But how could he earn a million in a week? He took a leave of absence from school and filled his entire 24 hours with work: four jobs a day—morning at a bakery, afternoon at a milk tea shop, evening selling cinema tickets, and late night delivering takeout. Nonstop, he barely earned a thousand yuan a day.

Lin Xi sat on a stone bench by the street. At six a.m., the wind blew cool and damp against his face, yet it couldn’t wash away his despair and exhaustion. By six-thirty, he had to leave for the bakery. He could only rest here for half an hour.

Early risers passed by: elderly people buying vegetables, young people walking their dogs, sanitation workers cleaning the streets. Ordinary daily life… yet everything felt impossible.

Lin Youshan had been held by the debt collectors at a hotel for days. Lin Xi had neither the energy nor the time to see him. They had threatened that if the first installment didn’t arrive within three days, they would cut off one of Lin Youshan’s hands.

This one million yuan had driven him to madness.

On the third night, Lin Xi clutched an address of an entertainment club—his last resort.

Rain poured from the sky, thunder roaring. Lin Xi stood at the club entrance, his feet as heavy as lead, unable to move. He stood there for half an hour, drenched in his hoodie. He clenched his fists, biting a chunk of his lip, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. His face was pale as if drained of life. At that moment, he missed Jiang Boqing terribly. If Jiang were here, perhaps he could have found another way. But for almost a month, he hadn’t been able to reach him. After leaving a breakup message, Jiang had disappeared.

Lin Xi slowly squatted in the rain, tears mixing with the water, washing over his helplessness and despair.

Was it really only by selling himself that heaven would let him be?

The raindrops splashed at his feet, over and over. Lin Xi repeated to himself, persuading himself to enter the club.

He didn’t know how many times he had gone through this. The splashing faded, and the sneakers from that day leaving school entered his sight again. Lin Xi hugged his knees, slowly lifting his head. His face was soaked with rain and tears. After struggling, he finally saw the person above him holding an umbrella—Wen Feng. He wore a black jacket, his hair slightly damp, his handsome face silently watching him, revealing no emotion. Lin Xi froze, his neck stiff, unable to react.

Wen Feng reached out a hand against the light. Lin Xi stared at it, and after a long moment, sluggishly took it. A warmth spread into his palm, seeping through his body.

Wen Feng pulled him up from the ground. Lin Xi had squatted too long. After days of sleepless work, barely eating, dizziness struck—he almost fainted. Instinctively, he gripped Wen Feng’s hand tightly. Wen Feng didn’t let go, guiding him closer. Lin Xi couldn’t stand steadily; his whole body collapsed onto Wen Feng.

(To be continued…)