WYK 22

His head felt like it was splitting open, and his throat was parched.

“Water…”

Groaning, he opened his eyes. What he saw was the bluish dawn light. What he heard was the creaking sound of an old window swaying in the wind.

Jeong-yoon sat up and looked around with a dazed expression. He was alone in the empty room.

‘Oh, the others must have gone to the next room. Probably drinking.’

Everyone seemed to have gone to the next room, drunk alcohol, and then passed out there.

Jeong-yoon slowly got up and reached for the bottle of water in the corner. The half-left water was somewhat lukewarm. He slowly lifted the bottle to his lips, alleviating the pain in his head. After drinking, he closed the lid.

‘Uh… wait for a sec.’

Then his body froze. A mix of recollections from the other side surged in as his clouded mind cleared. He recalled many events with a pale face. His heart pounded and sank just thinking about them.

Me and Kang Chae-heon. With Kang Chae-heon. Kang Chae-heon.

“Ugh!”

He threw the water bottle with a flushed face. The plastic bottle hit the wall and dropped to the floor with a hollow sound.

A chill ran through his whole body. Today’s dream was vivid, too vivid. Even the thought of it made his heart pound and gave him a sinking feeling.

“…Am I crazy, seriously…”

He dreamed of kissing Kang Chae-heon. For heaven’s sake. Even though he had been harboring an unrequited love by himself, having such a perverted dream was truly beyond words. Furthermore, possibly because his emotions were being reflected, at the last minute he even heard a gentle voice say, ‘Jeong-yoon-ah.’

‘… Do I want to have a relationship with Kang Chae-heon?’

Jeong-yoon thought he liked him on a platonic basis. Even though he liked him, he really had no intention of doing anything against him. But after having a bit of alcohol, it has come to this…

Indeed, the subconscious mind knows the answer. Even if he denied it, he did want to do such a thing with Kang Chae-heon.

“Such a mess.”

A bitter laugh escaped him. He thought it was an unattainable love, believing he had let go of such desires. But deep down, it seemed he still strongly longed for him.

What are you going to do because you like him? Are you going to confess to him? Are you going to ask him to kiss you like in your dreams? Self-deprecating questions echoed in his mind.

He wondered what face Kang Chae-heon would make if he sensed my feelings, if I said I wanted to reach him, that I wanted to be with him all the time, and that I was happy just being by his side.

Then, will Chae-heon be disgusted and push him away? Yes, he probably would. Jeong-yoon himself would. If his classmate even confessed to him, he was sure he would kick his classmate and tell him not to talk nonsense. Even if he liked guys now, the reality was different.

He couldn’t bear it. Even if there was a limit to suppressing his own feelings and hiding them, he wanted to prevent Chae-heon from looking at him with disdainful eyes. He didn’t even hope for affectionate glances. He just didn’t want him to push him away. Even if he had to secretly steal glances at him and be happy on his own, that’s what he wished for.

He used to like girls. In elementary school, he confessed his shy feelings, saying the girl who laughed at cute chicks was even cuter. That’s what he did back then. He never dreamed that he would end up like this.

Liking a boy who was much taller than him and had a much lower voice. He never thought he’d fall in love with a boy who was like a flower on a cliff who had everything.

“Haa…”

His shoulders drooped. He walked sluggishly and crawled into the blanket, covering himself completely. Was it because his emotions were cold? His body trembled, and cold sweat broke out. He covered himself with the blanket up to his head. He felt as if he’d done something wrong to Chae-heon. Waves of guilt and self-loathing rushed over him. Despite this, he kept recalling the dream from the night before. A dream so vivid, delightful, and happy.

Jeong-yoon closed his eyes tightly and waited for the heat and afterimages circling inside him to disappear.

It was a long and exhausting dawn.

***

Morning seemed to have arrived. The morning sun faintly shone through his closed eyes.

Soon, sweaty boys crowded into the room. One friend, undressing in a loose and careless manner, peeked at the expression on Seo Jeong-yoon’s face from within the blanket.

“Seo Jeong-yoon, are you sick?”

To his classmate’s question, Seo Jeong-yoon wrinkled his nose as he lowered the blanket.

“My head hurts a bit.”

His head throbbed and his stomach churned as a result of the hangover. It shouldn’t be this awful after just one glass of alcohol. The guy next door who had organized a drinking party should be the one with a headache.

A guy from the same room, wearing only underwear, scratched his belly and said,

“Kang Chae-heon said you didn’t come out because you were sick, so I thought you were faking it, but your complexion is really bad. You look pale, dude.”

Could you please put on some clothes? Just as Jeong-yoon was about to say this, he tightly sealed his lips.

Kang Chae-heon. This was because his heart dropped as soon as he heard that name. He swallowed dry saliva once.

“Kang… Chae-heon said I didn’t go out because I was sick? But, what did you guys go out for?

“Morning exercises. He told the teacher that you couldn’t do morning exercises because you were sick?”

“…”

He had a hangover from a glass of soju he drank yesterday,but was that reason enough to miss the morning exercises? Why did Kang Chae-heon bother to speak up for him? And if Jeong-yoon himself had said, ‘I’m going to skip morning exercises because I’m sick, teacher,’ he would have definitely gotten his butt kicked. Still, considering Chae-heon passed on the message and managed to avoid being scolded, trust and credibility were indeed crucial.

He had no idea what was going on. He wasn’t even sure if Chae-heon had come into his room yesterday. Wasn’t it all a dream from the beginning? He turned his head and stared at the window. His phone, with earphones plugged in, was rolling under the window.

‘It seems like listening to music together wasn’t a dream.’

A memorable experience had been created during the school trip. Jeong-yoon can’t believe he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Kang Chae-heon and talking. Jeong-yoon smiled faintly, shaking his head.

***

Jeong-yoon quickly washed up and came downstairs for breakfast. However, when he saw a tall guy at the entrance of the dining hall, his body froze.

‘Ugh. I bumped into him before preparing myself mentally!’

His heart pounded like crazy, and his cheeks blazed red. It was because memories of that dream were flooding back.

He. He spoke to me. That Kang Chae-heon.

Chae-heon was lining up the kids. As Jeong-yoon absentmindedly stared at him, Chae-heon soon turned his head. It seemed he felt Jeong-yoon’s gaze. Chae-heon was smiling happily as usual, but his expression changed slightly when he saw Jeong-yoon.

Their eyes intertwined in midair.

Was it just his illusion that Chae-heon’s expression seemed a little stiff? Jeong-yoon struggled to control his facial expressions as well. Chae-heon’s gaze suddenly seemed to be able to delve deep into his inner thoughts, as if it might expose the impulses hidden in his heart.

Guilt and self-criticism surged. He felt that if he stayed like this, he would end up doubling over in shame in front of him. He couldn’t afford to show such a shabby appearance.

Jeong-yoon took a step back and turned his head to avoid Chae-heon’s gaze without realizing it. Suddenly, he saw a snack vending machine in the distance.

Let’s eat that instead of breakfast. Jeong-yoon decided to give up on breakfast. His stomach wasn’t feeling great, and facing Chae-heon up close was difficult.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I’m not eating. Just going to eat snacks.”

Answering his friend carelessly, Jeong-yoon turned his back. He didn’t know if Chae-heon behind him was still looking at him. He just had to escape as if being chased by something. He might be able to face him with a little more time, but meeting him without any lingering remnants of the dream was difficult right now.

***

Number 11.

After selecting the item, Jeong-yoon stood in front of the vending machine, absentmindedly touching the transparent window. The snack fell toward the exit with a “jiing jiing” sound.

However, Jeong-yoon was just staring at the vending machine, lost in thought. He couldn’t concentrate on anything all morning. The only thing that came to his mind was Chae-heon. It was absurd.

Then it happened.

“What about a meal?”

Chae-heon’s voice came from beside him. When did he arrive? Jeong-yoon was startled, turning his upper body to look at him. Chae-heon was holding a snack box that had fallen into the intake, staring intently at Jeong-yoon.

At the end of his gaze were Chae-heon’s healthy, slightly reddened lips.The lips that were slightly red and even sexy.

Jeong-yoon swallowed his saliva without realizing it and then lowered his gaze to stare at Chae-heon’s chest. The person in his dream and the person in reality kept overlapping and he couldn’t look at him in the eyes.

“My stomach… it’s not feeling well.”

Oh my god. He’s even stumbling over his words. What a ridiculous sight. He never knew his face could turn as small as a bean.

Chae-heon slightly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head towards Jeong-yoon.

“Why did you eat snacks when your stomach isn’t feeling well?”

“Just… because I want to eat….”

Jeong-yoon extended his words hesitantly. Why does it feel like he’s about to get scolded by his dad? It felt strange.

Chae-heon quietly looked at Jeong-yoon’s face, who was avoiding his gaze, and then held out the snack. Jeong-yoon unconsciously stretched out his hand to grab it, but the moment their fingers slightly touched, he started to freak out.

“Ah!”

He dropped it like he was throwing away a cookie. It was inevitable. Just the touch of their fingers made his throat burn, and his heart raced like crazy.

‘Am I really going crazy? Why is this happening?’

Jeong-yoon with his mouth agape, picked up the fallen and rolling snacks and turned away. For now, he had to get away from this place. He didn’t know how to act or how to look at Chae-heon. He couldn’t recall how he usually behaved.

“I’ll go first.”

He sent a quick greeting and left as if running away. It felt like Chae-heon’s gaze was following him.

‘He must think I’m acting strange. Why did I do that?’

But there was nothing he could do. First, he had to cool down this confused heart. He didn’t want to be seen with flushed cheeks in front of him.