WYK 47

Jeong-yoon was in a daze all day. Yesterday, when he came home from being with Kang Chae-heon, he was just trembling slightly, but when he woke up after sleeping, he was shaking like crazy. All day long, his chest felt tight inside and his breathing was ticklish whenever he thought of Kang Chae-heon’s face.

He sat blankly on the sofa and got kicked by his older sister while she was doing yoga. When Jeong-yoon mechanically trimmed the green onions at his mom’s orders, he got smacked on the back for plucking perfectly fine ones. Even after that beating, all he could think about was Kang Chae-heon.

He already liked him before, but now he liked him even more. What should he do about this? Before, it was just a perverted love where he could only sneak glances, but now he could even grab his collar to kiss him. That made him so deliriously happy, it felt like he was floating on a dream cloud. Plus, the conceited thought that Kang Chae-heon might like him too made fireworks go off in his head all day long.

Lover.

Until now Jeong-yoon thought Kang Chae-heon and he were just s3x partner, but it seemed that they were indeed dating.

‘…This is driving me crazy!’

Jeong-yoon buried his face in his hands and thrashed around before eventually going into his room. He felt like he needed to kick the bed to calm his turbulent mind.

“What’s wrong with him all day? Did he eat rat poison or something?”

Now he couldn’t even hear his sister muttering behind him.

He stomped on the bed and pounded the pillow about four times. Then he suddenly lifted his head and checked his phone. There were no texts or calls from Kang Chae-heon today, who usually asked, ‘Where are you?’

After fiddling quietly with his phone, he abruptly got up and brought over a small notebook. Lying on the bed, he began scribbling notes. Writing down keywords in a notebook and getting lost in thought. It was a habit he had whenever he was confused.

Kang Chae-heon. Me. Top. Bottom.

He scribbled meaningless words one after another. Right now, Jeong-yoon was imagining a future night with Kang Chae-heon.

It had already happened. All that remained for them now was true union. So what would their positions be? It was clear that Chae-heon wouldn’t be the one underneath, so he would definitely be the one to be the bottom. Though that seemed natural, it was also quite scary. After all, Chae-heon’s thing that he’d seen yesterday was a bit… no, very intimidating in size. While he definitely wanted to spend the night with Chae-heon, he didn’t want to imagine it in detail.

‘…Will it hurt?’

He thought about searching for information online but shook his head. Last time, he had tried to watch a video under the pretense of studying and had turned it off after just four seconds. It would only lead to unnecessary fears.

He didn’t even like getting shots, let alone… let alone…

He recalled Chae-heon’s thing from yesterday. How could that be… The size and presence of what he had already confirmed and its endurance time, were somewhat terrifying. It seemed scientifically and physically impossible for that to enter him. The color drained slightly from Jeong-yoon’s face.

“Never mind, let’s go with practical experience. Chae-heon will know what to do.”

Right. Truly, Chae-heon would know what to do. He handled things so skillfully yesterday, so he’d handle this well too.

It was strange. Jeong-yoon had wanted to study hard and lead Chae-heon, wanted to melt him thoroughly like yesterday, but the more he thought about it, the less confident he felt. Well, if he was good at leading, he would have been class president like Chae-heon long ago.

Back to the notebook, he listed words like Chae-heon. Practical. Skillful. Then he smiled bitterly. Thinking that Chae-heon’s skillfulness probably came from experience made his stomach turn. It wasn’t even completely certain that he had become his lover now.

‘Well, being jealous alone is my own problem.’

He drew several small X’s in the notebook. It was just presumptuous jealousy, but since it was inner thoughts no one could know, it didn’t matter.

***

“Maknae(youngest)! Come eat some figs!”

He must have dozed off while scribbling notes. He suddenly lifted his head from the bed at the sound of Jeong-seon bursting through the door and shouting.

His vision was blurry from the lingering sleepiness. As he just blinked vacantly, Jeong-seon approached Jeong-yoon, patted his messy hair, and tapped his bottom. It was her rare show of affection. She said she wanted to pat his bottom when he looked particularly young and cute.

“Come out quickly and eat. They’re really delicious.”

Led by Jeong-seon’s hand pulling his arm, he went to the living room. His brother was already there, sprawled out eating figs. Seeing someone who looked similar to him lying so carefreely made him feel oddly annoyed. Jeong-yoon also lay down using his brother’s tigh as a pillow and ate the figs. As his sister said, they tasted quite good.

“Figs are usually bland, but these are pretty tasty. Where did you buy them, Mom?”

“I bought them from an acquaintance’s farm. They said the harvest was especially good this year and they’re supplying to department stores?”

“Really?”

Jeong-yoon, who had been absent-mindedly chewing on the fig, raised himself slightly. Then he asked his mother, who was sitting on the sofa pressing her feet against his brother’s neck.

“Mom, do we have a lot? How many did you buy?”

“I bought one box. Why?”

“I want to give some to a friend.”

“Friend? Who? Min-soo?”

“No… Kang Chae-heon.”

Saying Chae-heon’s name made him feel needlessly embarrassed.

Jeong-yoon wanted to give him everything precious. Give him his body, his heart, and even these figs.

There were so many things he wanted to do with Chae-heon. He wanted to let him taste these delicious figs, wanted to send messages first, wanted to rest his chin in his hands while admiring that handsome face. He also wanted to pull his neck close and kiss him softly.

Somehow, it felt like my self-control had broken down. It was amazing how he had managed to keep everything bottled up for years, but now the reins had come loose.

“This one? This one?”

He opened the kitchen cabinet and pointed at the Lock & Lock containers with his finger. His mother, shaking her head, pointed to a medium-sized Lock & Lock container, and he nodded.

“That one, Jeong-yoon. Take that one.”

“Okay.”

Jeong-yoon took out the second container and carefully packed the figs inside. He was going to give them to Chae-heon.

Once he made up his mind, the execution was quick. Kang Chae-heon would suddenly contact him, take him for a ride, and give him sandwiches, so what was the big deal about him suddenly visiting and handing over figs?

In his heart, he felt like he was the subordinate, but objectively speaking, he and Kang Chae-heon were in an equal relationship. Whether it was a friends-with-benefits situation or a romantic relationship. Therefore, there was a clear basis for him to act as he pleased.

Alright. Now, let’s go to Kang Chae-heon.

He wouldn’t casually text him. If he wasn’t home, he could just think of it as a walk since his house was close. If he was home, he could just hand this over. If not, he could come back. If Kang Chae-heon could do it, why couldn’t he?

“Mom, I might stay out tonight.”

“Why? Where?”

“…At Kang Chae-heon’s. But I might also be back here in 20 minutes.”

Before leaving through the front door, he laid the groundwork just in case. You never know. He might really end up staying out. After all, Kang Chae-heon had told him to sleep over yesterday. He couldn’t ruin the chance when it came again by saying, ‘If I stay out without saying anything, Mom will scold me.’

***

The evening air was cool at sunset. The music from his earphones blended strangely well with the traffic noise from the road.

Jeong-yoon walked toward Chae-heon’s apartment complex, humming along to his music. The sunset light was blinding, so he slightly covered his face with his hand, but even the soft sunlight that clung to his knuckles felt pleasant.

As he strolled along, he soon arrived at the apartment complex where Chae-heon lived. He passed the entrance building and reached right in front of Kang Chae-heon’s apartment. He thought about sending a text but decided to sit on the bench behind the landscaping trees first.

[Kang Chae-heon. Where are you?]

He wrote the simple message that Chae-heon often sent to him.

‘Where are you.’ That was what Chae-heon sent most often. No, rather than saying it was what he sent most often, it would be more accurate to say it was what he said most often. He was the type to prefer calling over the hassle of sending messages.

Before hitting the send button, he fell into a moment of contemplation. Why was his heart racing over something so trivial? Just as he was about to press send, he caught sight of a familiar figure through the phone he was holding. Jeong-yoon squinted and tilted his head.

‘Yoo Da-jung.’

Yoo Da-jung was standing at the entrance of Chae-heon’s apartment building, holding a large cardboard box.

Jeong-yoon watched her absently before unconsciously moving to a different spot. It was a place out of view from the common entrance. Somehow, he felt like Da-jung shouldn’t see him like this.

Yoo Da-jung pressed the intercom and went through the opened door. As soon as she disappeared, Jeong-yoon approached the common entrance and managed to slip inside, following someone who was entering.

He stared nervously at the elevator guide screen. The elevator stopped on the 12th floor. Kang Chae-heon also lived on the 12th floor. The only other person who had entered besides him was a stranger next to him, so it was likely that the 12th floor was where she got off.

Yoo Da-jung. Kang Chae-heon’s ex-girlfriend. She got off on the 12th floor. Chae-heon’s place was also on the 12th floor. What were the chances that Yoo Da-jung lived next door to Kang Chae-heon by some incredible coincidence?

He stood still, placing his hand on his chest. It was hard to breathe. Before he knew it, the elevator had arrived, and the person inside the elevator asked him.

“Aren’t you getting in?”

“…”

Jeong-yoon shook his head. Soon the elevator doors closed.

Strange. Just until moments ago, he had been floating on cloud nine, but now he was struggling, being dragged into a deep swamp. The lingering image of Yoo Da-jung was piercing and tearing at his heart, making it hard to breathe.

“Haah…”

Jeong-yoon let out a deep sigh and walked outside like a shadow. He sat back down on the bench and stared blankly at the paper bag.

‘No point in giving it now. I should have contacted him first before coming.’

The red sunset that had been blazing had already disappeared beyond the horizon, and a distant darkness was creeping in.

Jeong-yoon raised both hands and painfully covered his face.

It might all be a misunderstanding. They could just be friends casually visiting each other. Their visits to each other’s homes could be a very ordinary and mundane thing.

But even while thinking that, he knew. That it wasn’t anything like that. That it was all just self-protective delusion that made no sense.

He had been to Chae-heon’s house before. He knew all too well what kind of actions and expressions Chae-heon would have there, which only made his heart ache more. Hadn’t Chae-heon said it directly yesterday?

‘This is what I meant when I asked you to come to my place.’

There could only be one purpose for her visit to Chae-heon’s house.

A wound in his heart throbbed painfully. It had festered and festered, and he thought it had finally healed, but after years of unrequited love, he thought he wouldn’t be affected by much. It seemed that was a misconception.

Whatever the relationship between Kang Chae-heon and Yoo Da-jung was, it was the worst. Whether they were lovers or just involved in something casual.

It was truly dreadful. To be suddenly thrown into a pit of mud like this. His inflated heart had burst, leaving only the pitiful remnants.