WYK 48

Feeling like he might cry, he pressed hard on his eyelids, then lowered his hands and took a deep breath. He picked up the phone he had set aside, intending to go home, and stared at it for a moment.

After turning on the phone, he impulsively opened the messaging app. When he clicked on friend recommendations, the name ‘Da-jung Da-jung’ appeared. He wondered if Yoo Da-jung had saved his number, or if it had been there all along, but he had hesitated to register it for some reason.

After clicking to add her as a friend, he looked at her profile. The status message was filled with a heart, and the main picture showed a man sitting at an outdoor café. The face was half-cut off, but the moment he saw it, his heart dropped.

The broad shoulders, muscular arms, and long fingers with a solid bone structure.

It was Kang Chae-heon.

“Haah…”

A deep sigh escaped Jeong-yoon. There was no way he wouldn’t recognize him. He could tell it was Chae-heon just by his hands. After all, he’d been following him with his eyes for years.

Why hadn’t he added Da-jung earlier? If he’d noticed what was between them, he wouldn’t have been lost in this foolish daydream.

Jeong-yoon looked at Chae-heon’s photo again and again before turning off his phone. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A cold sensation washed through his chest.

They were either dating, or almost dating. It had to be one of the two.

Either way, it was the worst possible scenario for Jeong-yoon.

“What was I expecting in the first place…”

Yesterday, when he was heading to the bathroom, Chae-heon had hugged him and said,

‘I just wanted to hug you.’

He’d said with a smile that it wouldn’t end with just once.

‘I never intended to burden you from the start.’

He’d even asked him to stay over. When he kissed him first on the apartment stairs, he didn’t push him away but instead gave his a deep kiss in return.

So he had secretly hoped. Maybe… just maybe Chae-heon had feelings for him too. He had foolishly entertained the ridiculous hope that they might be more than just s3x partners, that they might actually be in a relationship.

How stupid. A self-deprecating laugh escaped him. He didn’t know how many times he’d been heartbroken over someone he wasn’t even dating. He really was the biggest fool.

Jeong-yoon stared blankly at the paper bag before taking out the Lock & Lock container and eating one of the figs. Looking up at the dark blue sky, he couldn’t understand why his eyes stung so much. The sun wasn’t even out anymore.

He cried a little, using the excuse that his eyes hurt from looking at the already-set sun. Unable to leave that spot, he covered his face and sobbed, then laughed self-mockingly at his pathetic state. Then he cried again and cursed himself for being stupid. He was acting like a crazy person.

Eventually, his tears began to subside.

How long had he sat there blankly? When he came to his senses, the bench area was completely enveloped in darkness. He had left when the sunset was still glimmering, but now it was night. He turned his phone back on to check the time. An hour and a half had passed.

He still hadn’t seen Da-jung leave.

One day he asked him to stay over, and the next day, Da-jung…

‘Kang Chae-heon. He seems to be more open-minded than I thought.’

A hollow laugh escaped him. He had already expected it. He was sure Kang Chae-heon had met many women. That was why Kang Chae-heon could be like that with him. But it was a different matter to do that with someone he had known for a long time, a classmate and a peer. Well, Yoo Da-jung was also a classmate, but…

Jeong-yoon pressed his throbbing temples and roughly got up. He had boldly told his mother he might stay over, but forget staying over. He was just going to go home.

That’s when familiar figures came out through the apartment’s main entrance.

Kang Chae-heon and Yoo Da-jung.

Seo Jeong-yoon hurriedly hid behind a branch of the landscaping tree without realizing it. His heart raced wildly. It was a moment so tense that it was hard to believe he had just been feeling so listless.

They stood at the apartment entrance and began talking quietly. It seemed like final goodbyes before parting. In the middle of saying something, Da-jung playfully slapped Chae-heon’s arm, and though he wrinkled his eyebrows as if annoyed, he let her be. Watching that scene made his heart crumble anew.

‘They seem… really close.’

It might have hurt less if they had hugged or kissed. Yoo Da-jung’s behavior around Chae-heon was so natural. Unlike himself, who became tense and anxious just standing in front of him.

Finally, Jeong-yoon gripped his bag tighter and let out a weak breath. He didn’t want to watch anymore. Yet his eyes kept being drawn to them like Pandora’s box.

After throwing a few words at Chae-heon, Da-jung soon stepped closer to him and held up her phone. Then she took a selfie with the statue-like Chae-heon in the background, waved goodbye, and disappeared.

‘Must be nice. They look good together.’

Jeong-yoon laughed self-mockingly at his futile thoughts. Even though he was laughing, his lips kept trembling and his eyes burned.

After Yoo Da-jung disappeared, Chae-heon took out his phone and called someone. That’s when it happened.

Jeong-yoon’s phone rang.

Jeong-yoon was so startled he almost screamed “Aah!” Checking his phone, sure enough. It was Kang Chae-heon. Jeong-yoon thought for about 2 seconds before hitting decline and sending a message.

[Sorry. I can’t take calls right now.]

If he took the call now, Kang Chae-heon would hear his voice. Then he’d discover him creepily spying on him. Moreover, his face was a mess from crying just now. He had to avoid such a terrible situation.

He could see Chae-heon typing a message up ahead. Jeong-yoon secretly watched him again before staring at his phone as it vibrated with a new message.

[Where are you.]

Where else? Behind the landscaping tree, thirty meters away from you. Jeong-yoon thought to himself and pondered what to reply. What good situation could there be for not answering the phone? Suddenly, he remembered watching “Roman Holiday” at Kang Chae-heon’s house. A movie. Yes, he would say he was watching a movie.

But before he could type his response, another message came. Chae-heon was truly an impatient man.

[Who are you with?]

Who else? I’m with you, thirty meters away. Jeong-yoon thought that again and hesitated to move. He had to leave the place before he was discovered here. The last glance he stole at Chae-heon showed him frowning as if something displeased him.

As soon as he was fully hidden, Jeong-yoon ran to leave the apartment complex. But in doing so, he hadn’t replied again. Then another call came. Of course, it was from Chae-heon. Feeling he’d secured a safe distance, he answered.

“Hello?”

– Where are you?

“Just outside.”

– Who are you with?

“I’m alone.”

Chae-heon tirelessly repeated the questions he’d asked in his messages. Jeong-yoon dutifully answered. As he did, he thought to himself. He’d clearly seen his face all scrunched up earlier, yet his voice was so gentle. He could only laugh hollowly.

– Why didn’t you answer the phone?

“I was out of breath from running…”

– When will you get home?

“Probably in 7 minutes.”

– Then I’ll come to your place. Let’s meet.

At those words, Jeong-yoon stopped in his tracks. He had just been with Yoo Da-jung until just now, and now he wanted to meet him? Was this what it meant to have flowers in both hands? Of course, he wasn’t the flower, but Kang Chae-heon’s actions were exactly that. No, perhaps it wasn’t just flowers in both hands but ten flowers.

He had women he met during the day. And men he met at night. Truly impressive, Kang Chae-heon. Jeong-yoon shook his head with a bitter expression. He absolutely couldn’t meet Chae-heon feeling like this. After being lost in his own pink-tinted delusions. He couldn’t show such a pathetic side.

“Sorry. I can’t today.”

– Why?

“I have plans.”

– …You said you’d be home in 7 minutes but now you have plans?

Chae-heon’s voice was laced with irritation. Jeong-yoon simply kept his mouth shut. Even he found it a bit ridiculous. Why did he become so foolish when making excuses in front of Kang Chae-heon?

On the other end of the phone, Chae-heon fell silent for a moment before saying,

– How cute. Next time, come up with a more plausible excuse, Seo Jeong-yoon.

He spoke in a firm and decisive tone.

Jeong-yoon had no words left to say, rolling his eyes before hastily replying, “Okay, got it,” and quickly hanging up. He immediately regretted it. Thinking back, he realized he didn’t need to grovel like that to him. Why did he shrink so much in front of Kang Chae-heon?

Perhaps it was because he knew that if Chae-heon withdrew his hand, they would become nothing. He feared that.

Jeong-yoon gazed up at the sky absently. A deep darkness spread out above his head.

He listlessly pressed in the code at his apartment entrance. Maybe because his head was foggy, he got the number wrong twice. After the third try, when the main entrance opened, he trudged inside. The first-floor air felt particularly cool today.

He entered his home and collapsed onto his bed. The emotions he’d been suppressing while walking burst forth. It truly felt like his world was crumbling.

***

When Monday came, Chae-heon came to pick Jeong-yoon up again. Though it hadn’t been long, it had already become a familiar routine. Jeong-yoon awkwardly climbed into Chae-heon’s car and greeted him shyly.

“Hi.”

Chae-heon tilted his head, stared intently at Jeong-yoon’s eyes, then returned the greeting.

“Yeah, hi.”

As Chae-heon started the car, he asked,

“How was your appointment?”

“Huh? …Oh!”

Jeong-yoon nodded.

The appointment. It had been a hasty excuse to avoid meeting him yesterday. That’s why he didn’t immediately understand the meaning of his question.

Chae-heon smiled faintly.

“You’d make a terrible con artist, Seo Jeong-yoon.”

“…”

He seemed to have figured out it was an obvious lie. Jeong-yoon felt guilty and couldn’t respond.

Silence filled the car. It was natural since Jeong-yoon was usually the one who talked while Chae-heon just nodded. Da-jung’s face from yesterday floated around in Jeong-yoon’s mind. All his motivation had disappeared, leaving him dazed. Like someone who had just woken up from a drowsy afternoon nap.

“…yoon-ah… together…”

“…”

“Seo Jeong-yoon… that time…”

“…”

“…Seo Jeong-yoon!”

Jeong-yoon was startled when his name was called loudly from the side. He had been gazing out the window and turned to look.

Chae-heon was staring at him with an angry face. Jeong-yoon had been so distracted that he hadn’t noticed Chae-heon trying to talk to him. That’s why. That’s why Chae-heon had called his name angrily.

In fact, this wasn’t the first time. For several days, he had been so absent-minded that he had let Chae-heon’s words slip by.

Chae-heon, with his lips tightly pressed, pulled into an empty parking lot in front of a café as soon as they left the overpass. Then he got out of the car without a word. The car door slammed shut roughly. Naturally, there was no instruction for Jeong-yoon to get out.

This was the first time Jeong-yoon had seen Chae-heon angry. Though he wasn’t yelling at him or grabbing his collar, his emotions were fully visible in every action and expression. Standing outside the car, Chae-heon let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up.

Jeong-yoon watched him through the heavily tinted window and grabbed the door handle. He meant to go out to him. But Chae-heon immediately went into the café, leaving Jeong-yoon frozen with his hand on the handle.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. But one thing was clear. He needed to go to Chae-heon right now. He needed to face him and do something. Whether it was apologizing or whatever.

With his anxiously beating heart, he entered the café.

Chae-heon was standing quietly near the counter with his arms crossed. His expression was subdued as if he was trying to suppress his emotions. Seeing this, Jeong-yoon approached even more cautiously. Chae-heon’s expression changed slightly when he spotted him.

“One iced latte and one iced Americano ready.”

Just then, the clerk’s voice rang out from the counter. It was what Chae-heon had ordered. Chae-heon gave Jeong-yoon a look as if telling him to wait, then collected the coffees and headed outside. Jeong-yoon silently walked beside him.

He suddenly looked up at the sky. Today, it was particularly clear and bright. Unlike his endlessly sinking feelings.

Upon reaching the car, Chae-heon handed Jeong-yoon the latte, opened the passenger door for him, and sat in the driver’s seat. His face was normal as if he’d never been angry. He must have managed to calm his emotions on his own.

“Why did you come out rather than waiting in the car?”