YHP 34

Looking back now, he didn’t know what good it all did.

In the end, everything was revealed so quickly that all the efforts he had made with gritted teeth were in vain. That was because, after leaving the house so bravely, he collapsed in the middle of the street in less than half a day.

He had another seizure at the doctor’s touch as he tried to examine him, and he lost consciousness again. His uncle, sensing something was wrong, pushed him, unable to even open his eyes, back into the detailed examination program, and when he opened his eyes, everyone knew what had happened to him.

By that point, there was no reason to hold on any longer. He finally let go of everything around that time.

He didn’t remember exactly because he was often in and out of consciousness in the beginning, but anyway, time passed quickly. Contrary to what he had feared, the family didn’t completely collapse, and his dads didn’t cry themselves to death. No matter how many nights he slept and woke up, he was still himself, and his dads were still his dads.

After the police investigation and the capture of the rapist, he started receiving psychological treatment. Of course, he hated talking about it with anyone, but he had no choice because he couldn’t even recognize his dads at times and had seizures every time he regained consciousness. No matter how much he hated it, he had to get better for everyone’s sake.

“Jeong-in.”

On the way to meet the counselor for the first time, his uncle drove the car himself.

“From now on, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“……”

“Even if it means I’ll be behind you for the rest of my life, restricting you and tying you down to everything, and even if you get tired and sick of those things someday and hate your uncle…”

“……”

“Your uncle has decided to protect Jeong-in in that way now. So Jeong-in has to try hard from now on too.”

He was the first person who didn’t apologize to him for this.

He didn’t know what his uncle was really feeling, but he didn’t show it on the outside. While everyone was apologizing to him for something that wasn’t their fault, his uncle always clearly pointed out where his emotions should be directed. Thanks to that, he could at least feel free to struggle in front of him.

“No matter what happens, you have to go see the teacher once a week. This isn’t a suggestion, it’s an order.”

Tears burst out at those words. In the end, he sobbed all the way to the counseling room. It was so overwhelming.

To be honest, all he wanted to do was die at that time. But his uncle had ordered him to do something, so he couldn’t do that right away. Even if he were to die, he felt like he had to do what his uncle, who had loved him all his life, told him to do before he died.

As he was filling out the contract for 12 sessions of counseling, he thought that he would really have to die after this was over. He never imagined that it would be extended for six years.

And the rapist, who was the cause of all this, went outside for a brief moment just before the trial and unfortunately got hit by a backhoe that was working.

The driver, who didn’t realize he had hit something and didn’t think it was a person, moved back and forth a couple more times. Even as he was being sucked into the large wheels, he managed to avoid his upper body, so in the end, the rapist survived even though his limbs were crushed in a horrific way that made it impossible to recognize his form.

It was the detective in charge of the case who told him the news. He frowned, adding that it was hard to say whether it was a miracle or a curse that the man was barely alive even though his whole body was torn to shreds. It had been an unavoidable accident, but his uncle’s promise that he would never let anything hurt Jeong-in again was half retroactively applied.

But whether the rapist ended up like that or not, his body and mind were so messed up around that time that he couldn’t go to school anymore. In the end, he dropped out and spent a long time just going back and forth between home and the psychiatric hospital.

“How are you feeling today?”

“…Just the same.”

An unsightly plant lived at the end of the counseling room table, and the counselor asked the same thing every day.

“What have you been thinking about the most?”

“…I haven’t been thinking about anything.”

It wasn’t fun at all, just boring.

“Jeong-in.”

“……”

He thought that he was really okay, so he just wished they wouldn’t ask him anything.

“Then I’ll see you next week.”

“…Yes.”

But as expected, there is no such thing as eternal sadness, so he took his medicine regularly, ignoring the counselor’s obvious words that it wasn’t his fault that he had been raped, and soon he regained his appetite and developed something similar to a will to live. He didn’t want to die anymore.

Choi Jeong-in, who almost became a monster, became human again. He laughed while rolling on the floor when he watched funny TV shows, and he sat next to Hyo-jun and trembled when he watched horror movies. When his dads came home from work, they sat at the table and ate dinner while sharing stories, and his grandfather and Bori sometimes appeared in his dreams.

And what finally made him go out into the world was not medicine or counseling, but his uncle’s young and beautiful lover.

“Baby.”

Around that time, the man made it a habit to kidnap Jeong-in and take him somewhere beautiful whenever he had the chance.

“Go buy me a whole potato. And a hot dog.”

No, looking back, Jeong-in thought he just needed someone to buy things whenever they stopped at a rest stop.

“No sugar, and three ketchups.”

“…Me?”

“Should I go then? People will all rush at me. Hurry up and go.”

At first, he thought he was going to die. Every step he took, cold sweat poured down like rain. But after doing that several times, he got used to it, and later, even if the man didn’t tell him to, he would automatically find the location of the nearest whole potato vendor when they stood at a rest stop.

When he ran out alone into a place full of strangers and came back before the potatoes got cold, his uncle’s lover would hug him tightly and praise him for doing a good job.

“I heard you used to do track and field, so I guess that’s why you’re so fast. If you don’t have anything to do later, do you want to be my manager? I’ll turn a blind eye if you skim a little.”

“…No, I’m okay.”

Maybe it was because he was so beautiful that everyone in the world liked him, or maybe it was because he always wore clothes that smelled good. It felt really good to be held in his arms and praised.

And it was a lot of fun to sneak away to a remote place where no one knew them and eat ice cream all night while watching the movies and dramas he was in.

“Hey, let’s run from here to there.”

“…Why?”

“Why do you ask? Think about what we ate all day yesterday. I’m done for.”

It was also fun to follow him around as he ate a lot of pizza and chicken and then ran all day the next day, saying that his acting career was over.

“That Seo Ye-jun bastard, all that pretending to be nice is acting.”

“It’s a drama, so of course he has to act, right?”

‘Well, yeah… but it’s not just that, how can you be so much like your uncle? Is being annoyingly smart a family trait?’

Eventually, after devouring all the works of his closest actor friend, Jeong Yu-jae, and even those of the actor he hated the most—the one he called a ‘bastard whose shadow I don’t even want to step on’—Seo Ye-joon, he became unafraid of going out alone.

From around that time, there wasn’t anything particularly difficult. Of course, after saying such trashy things, he inevitably became a bit awkward with his dads, but other than that, he ate well, slept well, and prepared for the GED without any major issues. Sometimes, he would go alone to the island his uncle had given his lover as a gift and blankly stare at the sunset.

Then, one day, he went on a trip to Australia with Cho Hyo-jun and, captivated by the sunset that seemed much prettier than the ones in Korea, decided to just settle down there. After graduating from high school, he spent his days gazing at the sea, without wanting or expecting anything.

The beaches of Western Australia, with their high waves, were warm year-round, perfect for taking a yacht out for a relaxing time. He would pack champagne and fruit, float on the sea all day without a care in the world, and when the sun went down, he would return home, snuggle under a fluffy blanket, and fall asleep. It wasn’t a bad life. Of course, the reason he decided to return wasn’t grand either.

‘Jeong-in. Have you thought about going to school in Korea?’

‘School?’

‘It’s good to have a degree, no matter what you do. And it’ll be reassuring to have Hyo-jun with you.’

His uncle, having learned that he was doing nothing but playing around, subtly suggested that he get a degree in Korea.

‘…I will.’

It wasn’t difficult to say yes to his question of whether he could return to Korea. He was already sick and tired of that life anyway.

Then, how many more years could he endure here without getting bored?

On the plane back to Korea, without a clear goal or anything, that was all he wondered.

“……”

There was a bubbling sound. Jeong-in woke up from an unpleasant dream and slowly opened his eyes. The day was bright, but for some reason, someone was standing in the room that should have been empty.

The first thought that crossed his mind was that a ghost had finally appeared. That was all he could deduce with his feverish head.

“You’re awake?”

The ghost turned around at the rustling sound. For some reason, he was holding a wooden spoon in one hand.

Jeong-in rubbed his eyes and sat up. There was a thick layer of ointment on his split lip.

His memories of last night were hazy. All he could recall was how terribly painful it had been, and how desperately he had wished he could die. And….

“…What are you doing here?”

That he had lost consciousness in Yoo Ho-jin’s arms at the last moment.

“Just a moment, it’s almost ready.”

Ho-jin didn’t answer Jeong-in’s question and changed the subject. He turned off the gas stove, stirred the pot, and then placed the ceramic bowls on a square rubberwood tray, approaching Jeong-in.

Thickly sliced abalone was beautifully arranged on top of the rice porridge. The savory aroma of sesame oil brought him back to his senses a little. But his throat was too sore. He wasn’t in a state to swallow anything.

“Get out.”

He pointed to the door. But Ho-jin didn’t budge.

“Please eat.”

“…I said get out.”

“No, you have to eat something.”

A brief struggle ensued. Too annoyed, Jeong-in weakly raised his hand. He was just going to push the tray away slightly. But he didn’t have enough strength yet and ended up pressing down on the edge of the tray.

“I said I don’t want…”

Clang—! A sharp cracking sound rang out. Startled, Jeong-in flinched and looked at where the bowl had fallen. The completely shattered bowl was rolling around, spilling hot porridge everywhere.