YHP 37

What a cursed type.

No, maybe my existence itself is a curse.

“…”

Jeong-in, who had woken up, stared blankly at the ceiling, lying flat on his back. Seeing the blue light flickering over the usual shadows, it seemed to be early dawn.

Unlike what the doctor had said about intermittent pain, last night was peaceful. He had a slight fever, but it was bearable. Compared to that hellish pain, it was child’s play.

‘It would be even better if you bonded.’

Along with the doctor’s voice, his grandfather naturally came to mind.

How does one die from sepsis?

Jeong-in hadn’t seen his last moments. He hadn’t bothered to look up what heteromorphic sepsis patients looked like. He only vaguely guessed that he wouldn’t have looked well, since it was a disease where all the blood in the body rots. He would resist the urge to find out. If he saw it, if he knew every detail of the pain he had to endure because of him, he really wouldn’t be able to bear it.

He quietly pictured his grandfather’s face, the last one he remembered.

It was a sunny spring day, and he was smiling, holding Jeong-in’s favorite strawberry cake.

That day, he said that he had to go far away to a foreign country soon, and that he wouldn’t be able to see him even if he slept a hundred or a thousand nights, but he would send him postcards every season instead. So, in the meantime, he had to listen to his dads, eat a balanced diet, and get along with his friends without fighting.

Usually, there was a price to pay for such conditions, but not that day. Looking back, it seemed like it was because he couldn’t promise anything.

Heartlessly, he didn’t allow Jeong-in into the hospital room from the moment he was admitted until the moment he died. Following his will, the whole family told him that his grandfather had gone abroad for a while, and Jeong-in didn’t even go to the funeral. He slowly grew older, and at some point, he realized everything on his own.

The postcards that arrived every season were written in a hospital room that was just around the corner, not in Tahiti, the Maldives, or Hawaii. The Christmas presents he sent every year were from his retired secretary, not his grandfather.

It was a similar process to when he learned that Santa Claus didn’t exist in the world.

In fact, it wasn’t that he didn’t know. He was too young to put a name to the subtle anxiety he felt while everyone kept their mouths shut, but he was already sensing the emptiness that reached his skin.

So, when he finally confirmed the truth with Jeong-hoon and Won-kyung, he wasn’t too shocked. He only asked where his grandfather was buried, and quietly pictured the scenery of the mountain he had never been to in his head.

“…Bad.”

It’s not that he didn’t understand. He wouldn’t have wanted his beloved grandson to be afraid of his broken appearance.

But Jeong-in would have loved him no matter what he looked like. Even if his whole body was rotting and he was unrecognizable, the fact that he was Jeong-in’s grandfather wouldn’t change. He was confident that he would recognize him at a glance even if he became a gruesome ghost wandering in the afterlife, and he was confident that he could hug him without any hesitation.

Perhaps that’s why he wasn’t afraid of ghosts.

Assuming that ghosts exist in the world, according to the media, Korean ghosts usually seemed to want something, and Jeong-in had the wealth and power to fulfill everything they wanted for three generations.

So, even if he didn’t meet him in death, if he happened to see a ghost, he was going to ask and ask them to find his grandfather. So, when he finally met him, he really wanted to ask.

On the last day, in the last moment before parting, what were the words you said to me while holding me?

He wanted to hear it just one more time. The last moment with me that he had worked so hard to prepare for, the last words he said before turning away with a broken heart.

He had tried hard to remember for a long time. But as time went by, not only his last words but even his appearance became increasingly blurred. He couldn’t even remember if he had said to take care or that he loved him. All that remained was that he was so engrossed in the cake that he smiled at his words with cream smeared all over his mouth.

“…”

He was thirsty, so he got up. The water bottle he had been drinking little by little all night was empty. Thinking of the convenience store nearby, Jeong-in habitually put on Ho-jin’s clothes. Maybe it was because a lot of time had passed, or maybe it was because he had worn them so often whenever he went out for a short time, but now his scent was gone.

He took in the chilly dawn air and zipped up his jacket to his neck. Even though the world wasn’t fully bright yet, there were many people moving busily on the streets.

Garbage trucks, trucks full of goods from convenience stores, students holding newspapers placed in front of buildings, people returning home with red faces after drinking all night, and someone turning on a gas burner in the middle of the street….

“Hey!”

Jeong-in, who was admiring the peaceful scenery, was startled and shouted. Then Ho-jin, who was sitting in front of the burner in a meditative posture, flinched and turned around.

“You’re up?”

“You’re… right now, what the hell. What are you… wh-what are you doing here?”

He was so surprised that he couldn’t even speak properly. Ho-jin smiled and got up. There was a pot bubbling in front of him.

“It cooled down a bit on the way, so I was warming it up.”

“You crazy… what?”

His head was ringing. Thoughts of his grandfather and everything else were gone. Jeong-in strode towards him and turned off the gas.

“Why are you really doing this?”

“Yes?”

“If you have time to spare, don’t do useless things and go exercise. How long have you been doing this?”

“I’m going to exercise right after I put this down.”

Judging by his nonchalant attitude, it was like talking to a brick wall. Jeong-in put his hands on his hips and glared at him.

“Stop it now. I feel burdened and don’t like you wasting your time doing this.”

“Hyung.”

Ho-jin said.

“Bringing you meals was for you at first, but now it’s for me too.”

“…”

“I’ve never broken a promise to myself. Not a single day in the last 10 years.”

The light of the sky, which had become a little brighter, was now coloring his face. The darkness that had been hanging over his clear eyes was gradually receding, overwhelmed by the force of the sun.

“Preparing food for you is now the start of my day and my routine. I promised myself that I would do that. Now I need this to exercise and control my mind.”

“…Ha.”

“You don’t have to feel burdened. But if you still don’t like it, you can throw it away as I said before. I’ll do my part.”

It was an attitude that really wouldn’t work. It didn’t seem like he would back down no matter how he was pushed away. Frustrated, Jeong-in turned around, pounding his chest. Then he immediately turned and walked towards the convenience store.

What is this? How can a person be so foolish? He’s the type of guy who would give you his bones if a passerby pretended to die and asked for everything he had. Still, he’s a record-breaking athlete, so how did he win the competition so far with such foolishness? It’s like he would have given up his medal if the person in second place had acted a little pitiful.

“He’s a complete psycho, really.”

He quickly paid for a few bottles of water and left the convenience store. Of course, when Jeong-in arrived back in front of his house, Ho-jin was still sitting upright, staring at the flames.

He deliberately didn’t look in that direction and entered the building. Jeong-in sat on the bed and gulped down the water. But the frustration didn’t go away. All that was on his mind was the contemplation of Ho-jin’s foolishness.

What time did he wake up to prepare that? How has he lived in this harsh world so far with such foolishness? Has no one ever ripped him off?

“…Did he really get scammed somewhere?”

A sense of foreboding crept in. Contract issues and the abuse of power by the federation, which usually followed world-class athletes from Korea, flashed through his mind. He was completely taken in by the toxic clauses of a malicious management company, lost all his money, didn’t receive proper injury management, competed while enduring tremendous pain, and yet he was always smiling….

“Ugh, annoying.”

He had to tell him not to live like that. Jeong-in jumped up and threw open the door.

“Ah….”

He ran into Ho-jin head-on. Ho-jin, who was about to put a plastic bag on the floor, smiled and stood up again.

“Eat this.”

The smell of kimchi stew wafted through the air. The heavy and savory scent, probably from the meat, made him hungry. Just as he was about to lose his mind, Jeong-in quickly came to his senses.

“You….”

Ho-jin was still smiling brightly. Seeing his eyes full of good intentions, like a puppy wanting praise, the words that had come up to his throat suddenly went down.

You really can’t live like this, do you know how harsh the world is, you won’t even get your money’s worth if you live like this, please be selfish.

“…What time did you wake up?”

The words he was going to say were gone, and strange words popped out. Jeong-in, who was surprised, bit his lip slightly.

“Oh, you shouldn’t do that yet.”

Ho-jin suddenly reached out his hand. Avoiding the hand that was coming towards his still-healing lips, Jeong-in wondered if there was something wrong with his brain for a moment. In the meantime, Ho-jin withdrew his hand and continued.

“I usually wake up around five.”

Isn’t he waking up too early? Jeong-in fidgeted with his hands, making a rustling sound.

The kimchi stew in his arms was still warm. Come to think of it, the food Ho-jin gave him was always like that. It had a warm warmth, as if it had just been warmed up.

“…Can you sleep more if you get a room near here?”

“I won’t sleep more, but I think I can exercise more. I usually stretch a little more carefully at this time.”

He felt a pang of guilt for no reason, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“By the way, how did you get this room, hyung? It’s not easy to get a room around here.”

“Real estate.”

A moment of silence passed. Jeong-in hesitated for a moment and opened his mouth.

“Look into it more for now. But….”

Now that it’s come to this, since there’s a room to spare anyway, what’s wrong with giving him one?

“But if you really can’t find one, you can live here.”