YMH CH 72

He’s Having Another Episode, Bro

Xie Guilan’s fingers pressed firmly against the small of his back as he burrowed deeper into his embrace, under his clothes. When Cen Wu looked down, he found his pajamas stretched out of shape, as if his stomach had swollen.

“Xie… Xie Guilan,” Cen Wu pushed at him vigorously, so mortified he wished he could just die on the spot, yet feeling that someone else damn well deserved it, “Where are you trying to hide? Can you not be so shameless?!”

If he didn’t get off right now, he could wait to be hidden away as a corpse tonight.

Xie Guilan locked his arms around Cen Wu’s waist, not letting him escape. Even as Cen Wu kicked and struggled, his voice held a low laugh as he pressed his cold fingers against Cen Wu’s lower abdomen, measuring out a long distance.

Cen Wu shivered from the cold touch, but Xie Guilan’s palm was firmly pressed against his lower back, leaving him unable to move.

Cen Wu, unable to bear it any longer, could only lift his clothes and yank Xie Guilan’s hair to make him get up.

“I already said,” Xie Guilan was forced to lift his head. The young man’s face was cold and handsome, his eyes pitch-black like they were soaked in water, yet he looked at Cen Wu with a hint of a mocking smile, “I want Gege to hide me away.”

Cen Wu’s lips trembled. His snow-white cheeks were flushed a deep red, his lower abdomen tensed tightly, inexplicably going numb from deep within. He slapped Xie Guilan’s hand away hard, gritting his teeth in fury, “Get lost!”

How dare he spout such flirtatious nonsense.

If it were anyone else, they would have been slapped to death by him countless times already.

Angered, Cen Wu pressed his lips together and pushed at Xie Guilan’s head, not wanting him to lean against him.

Xie Guilan shamelessly clung to his waist, neither getting up nor rolling away, clinging to him stubbornly like a male ghost, even grabbing Cen Wu’s hand to slap his own face.

Startled, Cen Wu hurriedly tried to pull away, but it was too late. Xie Guilan’s cold, pale, strong fingers gripped his wrist, forcing a slap that left his palm both numb and aching.

Against Xie Guilan’s cold, pale skin, the red mark stood out glaringly. His long eyelashes lowered, and seeing Cen Wu was no longer angry, he released his wrist and lay back down on his soft belly.

Cen Wu: “…”

I give up.

He’s having another episode, bro.

Cen Wu pinched his chin. Xie Guilan obediently turned his head to show him the injury on his face, tiny blood vessels visible under the pale skin.

Cen Wu’s palm was red from the slap and still hurt. Xie Guilan must be in even more pain. Slapped so hard, he probably tasted blood in his mouth.

Xie Guilan acted as if nothing had happened, rubbing his high nose bridge against Cen Wu’s palm. When Cen Wu didn’t move his hand away, he pressed his lips against it, kissing and licking.

Cen Wu was simply amazed. Anyone else humiliated by the Xie family would probably have psychological shadows about such things, but Xie Guilan seemed unaffected. He was willing to be slapped by him and would even wear a collar to play along and coax him.

The original novel didn’t mention it. Was it because he was mentally incredibly strong and simply didn’t care, or was he truly twisted and enjoyed the pain?

Xie Guilan had always been one to repay the slightest grievance tenfold. He was the type who would retaliate fiercely even against unintentional slights. Before Cen Wu arrived, he never imagined Xie Guilan had this particular… quirk.

Xie Guilan lifted his dark, peach-blossom eyes, filled with a gloomy yet fervent obsession, and fixed them on Cen Wu’s soft lips. He suddenly pushed himself up to kiss him, but Cen Wu swiftly covered his mouth.

Cen Wu pushed against him with all his might. Yeah, right—like he could actually move him.

Xie Guilan pressed against his hand, kneeling forward a few steps. Only when the back of Cen Wu’s hand was almost pressed against his own lips did Xie Guilan relent, lowering his head to hold Cen Wu tightly. Burying his face in the crook of Cen Wu’s neck, the tall youth hunched over, nuzzling against him almost like a撒娇.

Cen Wu’s heart softened immensely. Xie Guilan just wanted his gaze to stay on him forever, that’s all. So he acted out a bit, trying to make him blush and get angry, yet also afraid he’d truly be angry, feeling insecure and anxious about him.

Of course, he was also genuinely, unbearably flirtatious.

Cen Wu held him, stroked his head, then turned his face, unable to resist muttering, “You… don’t be like this in the future. I wasn’t really angry. If I were…”

“I know,” Xie Guilan lowered his eyes. Cen Wu didn’t finish, but he understood. “If you were truly angry, you would have just left. Nothing I did would have mattered.”

Cen Wu sensed a belated resentment. He felt inexplicably guilty, hesitating before saying, “That’s… that’s not entirely it either.”

He couldn’t stay angry with Xie Guilan. Just thinking of his name was a comfort. Honestly, if Xie Guilan really wanted to do it with him, he might half-heartedly resist but eventually agree.

Because it was Xie Guilan. He truly loved him, beyond compare.

Provided that Xie Guilan would let him go afterward, and not cling to him like a ghost, refusing to let go even in death, as he was now.

Deep down, Cen Wu knew that even if Xie Guilan discovered the truth about the switched identities, he probably wouldn’t hate him. And Cen’s father and mother wouldn’t truly harm him in this lifetime.

Yet, he understood better than anyone how complicated love in this world could be. Xie Guilan loved him deeply now, couldn’t bear to be without him, because he had never been loved before. Once he was no longer the only one, he wouldn’t be as important.

Besides, a young person’s heart is small; it might only have room for one person, wishing to grow old together overnight, never to part. But few actually manage that.

Moreover, he wasn’t the biological son of Cen’s father and mother. Just because they accepted him now didn’t mean there wouldn’t be reservations later.

The best outcome was for him to accompany Xie Guilan for a stretch of the road, then part ways before things worsened. Maybe many years later, they’d run into each other, pass by, and still exchange a few pleasantries.

He couldn’t bear the thought of Xie Guilan breaking up with him. Or still loving him, but not as much as now. He couldn’t accept Cen’s father and mother not treating him as well as they did now. He couldn’t stand Cen Xiao becoming distant, no longer saying, “Brother will take you home.”

He couldn’t handle anyone else leaving him. Never having something is different from having it and then losing it.

Otherwise, making him fall in love with Xie Guilan would be the easiest thing in the world. Xie Guilan wouldn’t need to bother seducing him at all.

Before, Xie Guilan was just the male lead from the original novel to him, an unattainable moon. Of course, he wouldn’t have entertained any extra thoughts.

But now, Xie Guilan was just Xie Guilan. On the night he met him at the equestrian club, he had desperately wanted to go with him. He never once felt that Xie Guilan would hurt him.

He couldn’t think like that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t want to leave him. He’d rather believe Xie Guilan might kill him than be so concerned about him.

Xie Guilan’s hair wasn’t particularly soft, but it felt nice to touch. Cen Wu stroked his hair, sniffled quietly.

Xie Guilan buried his nose in the crook of Cen Wu’s neck, nuzzling, his voice low and hoarse as he acted coquettishly, calling him “brother.”

Xie Guilan’s fever hadn’t broken yet. He was still pale and haggard, only his lips were a deep red, which made his face seem even colder. Yet he lowered his head, burying himself in Cen Wu’s embrace, as if holding him tight could shield him from all the storms of a lifetime.

Cen Wu started feeling sorry for him again. As long as Xie Guilan kept his mouth shut, he was quite pitiable. He lifted the quilt, patted the space beside him, and said, “Let’s… let’s sleep for now.”

“Mm.” Xie Guilan was being obedient again. He lay down next to Cen Wu, then held him tightly under the covers.

Xie Guilan’s personality had been gloomy since childhood, but it was truly after the truth about the switched young masters was revealed in the original story that he completely darkened.

The matter with Song Lingwei had caused a few seconds of fluctuation in his heart. It wasn’t that it wasn’t painful, but Xie Guilan would always weigh the pros and cons.

It was already an established fact. Being in pain wouldn’t change it. And he still had to move forward. What he needed to do was face it, accept it, and let the past become a part of him.

Until he became unbreakable.

The dark side of Xie Guilan’s heart expanded. The scant love he had was utterly discarded, leaving only indifference and cruelty behind.

This wasn’t a bad thing for him. After all, it’s best not to have weaknesses on the path of revenge.

The first thing he did was kill Song Lingwei.

Song Lingwei had taken the child, causing a complete rift between the Cen and Xie families. Xie Mingcheng, furious, cut off Song Lingwei’s medical funds. Xie Guilan had previously deposited a few thousand at the hospital, but it wasn’t enough to cover her high medical expenses.

Forced to leave the hospital, Song Lingwei rented a very shabby place. By then, she was already seriously ill, lying in bed in a daze, waiting to die.

Xie Guilan had been making poison before, originally intending to use it on Xie Mingcheng, but he used it on Song Lingwei first. That night, it was pouring rain. He wore a black raincoat and went to find Song Lingwei.

The raincoat was large and loose. By slightly bending his knees underneath, he could alter his height. On a stormy night with poor visibility, even if someone saw him, it would be hard to identify him. To any passerby, he would look like a man around 1.7 meters tall, with a slight hunch.

He had inherited Cen Junshan’s calm restraint and Guan Xingxue’s talent for acting. Combined with his high intelligence and cold-blooded cruelty, he was almost a born serial killer.

When Song Lingwei first saw Xie Guilan coming to find her, she was too terrified to even scream. But immediately, tears started falling. She thought Xie Guilan couldn’t bear to leave her, that he had come to save her.

“Xiao Lan,” Song Lingwei grabbed him, crying and complaining, “This place is so cold. Mom is so scared.”

After coming to Huaijin, she hadn’t suffered like this for many years. At the end of her life, she found herself in the same despair as when she started.

Xie Guilan lowered his cold, dark peach-blossom eyes. The thin, chilly light of the rainy night fell on his pale, handsome face, casting deep shadows in the hollows of his eye sockets. He wore black gloves and, expressionlessly, gripped Song Lingwei’s neck, forcing the medicine down her throat.

Song Lingwei couldn’t struggle free. Back when Xie Guilan was protecting her, she had already found his strength terrifying.

An agonizing pain, as if her abdomen were being torn apart, seized her. Blood gushed from her mouth, nose, and even her eyes. Already reduced to a pale skeleton by her illness, she now looked like a ferocious ghost who had met a violent end.

Her eyes were wide open, filled with utter terror, but she couldn’t make a sound. She died in excruciating pain.

Xie Guilan released her, not even bothering to close her eyes. He picked up a knife and slashed the strangulation marks on her neck until the flesh was mangled and unrecognizable, obliterating any trace of hand size. After disposing of all evidence, he tossed one of Xie Mingcheng’s hairs onto her long hair before leaving.

The Cen family was retaliating against Xie Mingcheng, who was already overwhelmed. Framed by Xie Guilan on top of that, the man who had dominated Huaijin for over a decade found himself in unprecedented狼狈.

Xie Guilan still pretended back then, ensuring the Cen family didn’t discover his murders. He killed Song Lingwei primarily because he believed her alive would only cause him trouble, and also because she knew him too well.

He didn’t want Song Lingwei telling the Cen family about Chen Weiguo, as it might affect their perception of him. Before he was powerful enough, he needed the Cen family to willingly become the blade of his revenge.

After all, Song Lingwei had been his mother for eighteen years. If he killed her, Guan Xingxue might find him cruel and hold reservations against him. So, Xie Guilan played innocent and kept the matter hidden.

Later, when he gained power, he didn’t bother hiding anymore, unleashing a bloodbath in Huaijin.

Only then did Guan Xingxue realize what he had been doing all those years. Heartbroken, she was already in her fifties. Once well-preserved, her hair turned completely white.

She was powerless to stop him, unable to save him from his pain and hatred. She could only watch him sink and float in a sea of blood.

Who could save her child?

Once, Guan Xingxue showed Xie Guilan the prenatal ultrasound taken before he was born. Holding a little bear, she said to him gently, “I bought this little bear right after that check-up because the ultrasound looked just like a little bear.”

It wasn’t really formed yet back then, just an outline that vaguely resembled a shape with two round little ears. Every time Guan Xingxue saw that ultrasound, her heart melted, not knowing how to love him enough.

Xie Guilan lifted his dark eyes. It was a warm, mother-and-son scene. He smiled at her and said, “Really?”

He placed the little bear in his bedroom, seemingly very fond of it. But by then, Guan Xingxue already understood him well. She knew Xie Guilan was pretending; he didn’t love them at all.

Tears fell from Guan Xingxue’s eyes as she stared blankly. This child was born on a stormy night, as if it was destined that she would shed many tears for him.

Cen Wu lay for a while, listening to Xie Guilan’s breathing. He knew he wasn’t asleep either. He lifted his head, his thick, long eyelashes sticking up messily, and blinked at Xie Guilan.

Xie Guilan reached out and pinched his thin lips together. He truly hadn’t expected that he wasn’t Song Lingwei’s biological son. However, once he accepted this fact, he realized it actually wasn’t detrimental to him.

Neither Song Lingwei nor Xie Mingcheng had raised Cen Wu. What right did they have to take him from him? The Cen family shared no blood relation with Cen Wu either; they had no right to take him either. Cen Wu belonged to him alone.

Song Lingwei would probably want her own child. Xie Mingcheng, to spite the Cen family, might also try to fight for custody of Cen Wu.

If he killed Song Lingwei and then replaced Xie Mingcheng, making this Xie family—which dominated half of Huaijin—no longer Xie Mingcheng’s Xie, then Cen Wu would belong to him forever. They would be together for a long time, until death parted them.

Cen Wu still loved him very much. He hadn’t rejected him. He refused to believe Cen Wu would feel sorry for Song Lingwei if she cried.

Xie Guilan’s eye sockets held a deep, cold light. He remained silent for several minutes. Cen Wu, his lips still pinched into a duck’s bill shape, slapped Xie Guilan’s hand away and asked him, “What… what are you thinking about?”

Bro, what law-breaking, jail-time-earning scheme are you concocting now?

“Nothing.” Xie Guilan lowered his head, nuzzling against Cen Wu’s neck, acting as if no one could be more well-behaved than him.

Forget it. Cen Wu is so soft-hearted.

After all, Song Lingwei was his biological mother. Xie Guilan wasn’t sure if Cen Wu would be sad if Song Lingwei died. Anyway, Guan Xingxue wouldn’t let Song Lingwei off the hook either; he didn’t need to dirty his own hands.

As for Xie Mingcheng, he absolutely had to die. But there were many ways to achieve that; he didn’t necessarily have to stain his own hands.

Xie Guilan’s phone buzzed a few more times. It was still Cen Xiao calling. Xie Guilan didn’t answer. Cen Wu hesitated, then reached for it. Xie Guilan had been out for so long; Cen Xiao must be very worried.

But the moment he picked it up, Xie Guilan knocked it out of his hand, then hugged his arm like a petulant child.

Cen Wu: “…”

You unfilial son.

Darkness and gloom churned in Xie Guilan’s eyes, suppressed ferocity hidden beneath his lowered lashes.

Cen Wu always wanted him to stay with the Cen family, making him feel like Cen Wu was trying to push him away. He should be the one going to the Cen family, calling Cen Wu, and telling him what time he’d be home.

They were the most important to each other. He wanted to be his only family.

Cen Wu pinched Xie Guilan’s ear, threatening that if he didn’t answer the phone, he’d kick him out and he wouldn’t get to sleep with him. Only then did Xie Guilan reluctantly answer.

Who knows what Cen Xiao said on the other end. Xie Guilan lowered his eyes, his expression cold. He merely uttered an “Mm” to indicate he was still alive, then hung up and tossed the phone aside. Like a male ghost that drains one’s essence, he wrapped his limbs around Cen Wu again.

Cen Wu: “…”

I give up!!!

His face numb, Cen Wu completely gave up struggling and just slept entangled like that.

Cen Wu hadn’t slept well these past few nights either. This old apartment building was especially dark, and he felt scared when night fell, his mind wandering to unsettling thoughts. Only in Xie Guilan’s arms did he finally get a good night’s sleep.

The next day, Cen Wu didn’t wake up until noon. He kicked the quilt off and found Xie Guilan’s arm still wrapped around his waist. Xie Guilan was already awake, holding Cen Wu’s phone.

Xie Guilan saw him open his eyes and immediately slumped onto his shoulder, his gaze calm yet tinged with a deep-seated resentment.

Cen Wu felt like a useless husband caught cheating. He blinked innocently, “Wh-what’s wrong?”

Xie Guilan didn’t speak. Cen Wu took the phone, opened it, and immediately froze.

Xie Guilan had originally wanted to secretly turn it on and delete the messages he’d sent Cen Wu earlier. He wanted Cen Wu to feel sorry for him, but not too worried. During his episode, he had sent Cen Wu hundreds of messages and made hundreds of calls.

He knew Cen Wu wouldn’t find him annoying, only distressed.

However, as soon as he turned on the phone and unlocked it using Cen Wu’s fingerprint, he discovered messages from a male model sent to Cen Wu.

Before running away, Cen Wu hadn’t messaged Xie Guilan, but he had liked a photo of a male model’s abs posted on their Moments.

“You… you, you, you,” Cen Wu quickly snatched the phone back, his face flushing red, “Let me explain.”

There wasn’t much to explain.

He wasn’t the Cen family’s young master anymore. Probably no one would be sending him photos of their abs in the future. He was just taking one last look.

Cen Wu: “…”

He lusts after men’s bodies.

He’s bad!

Xie Guilan lowered his eyes. It was unclear if he was genuinely angry. He got out of bed and went to make lunch for him first.

Cen Wu stuck close to him, but Xie Guilan ignored him. Cen Wu just followed behind him like a shadow.

Xie Guilan’s phone suddenly buzzed. He picked it up to look, and his eyes momentarily froze. Cen Wu had replied to each of his messages.

【Xie Guilan: I’m back, aren’t you coming to get me?】

【Cen Wu: Kitten running wildly.jpg】

【Xie Guilan: It’s very cold at night. Did you bring clothes? Do you have enough money? Have you eaten dinner?】

【Cen Wu: Eating spicy hot pot. So cold. Didn’t bring clothes. Didn’t bring much money either.】

【Xie Guilan: It’s too cold. Don’t come out. Tell me where you are, and I’ll come find you, okay?】

【Cen Wu: Cat peeking stealthily.jpg】

Xie Guilan turned his head. Cen Wu was peeking at him from behind. The corners of his thin lips curled up uncontrollably. He reached out and pulled Cen Wu into a hug, his voice slightly hoarse as he said, “Found you.”

Cen Wu patted his back. He had replied to each of Xie Guilan’s messages one by one, finally finishing just before going to sleep last night.

Cen Wu couldn’t go out. He stayed home with Xie Guilan for several days. He had originally planned to skip the final exams altogether, intending to transfer away from Huaijin directly after winter break.

But now Xie Guilan wouldn’t let him leave. He still had to take the finals. Besides, it was one thing for him to skip class, but if he didn’t go to school, Xie Guilan wouldn’t go either. What if Xie Guilan didn’t get the top provincial score then?

“Tomorrow, you… you have to push me out,” Cen Wu muttered to Xie Guilan that night, “No matter if I… if I want to go or not.”

“Mm,” Xie Guilan responded. But in truth, he was even more reluctant to go than Cen Wu. Being alone with Cen Wu like this, where Cen Wu couldn’t see anyone else, having nothing and no one but him…

So pitiful.

His lips kissed red, trembling and convulsing only under his touch, with no one to save him. Nothing they did would be discovered.

Xie Guilan closed his eyes and held Cen Wu. No matter how filthy and chaotic his heart was, his embrace was gentle.

The monster had donned a cloak called love, and Cen Wu, unaware and unsuspecting, slept in its lair.

Cen Wu knew he wouldn’t want to leave the house. The next day, he dawdled while putting on his school uniform and started regretting it the moment he reached the door, acting spoiled as he said, “I didn’t… didn’t say I was going to school.”

He only said for Xie Guilan to push him out; he never said where he had to go after being pushed out.

Xie Guilan didn’t coax or persuade him either. He simply picked him up like a child, holding him under his buttocks in a face-to-face carry. Cen Wu, startled, wrapped his arms around Xie Guilan’s neck and instinctively hooked his legs tightly around Xie Guilan’s waist. He couldn’t help but blush, angrily scolding, “Put… put me down!”

Xie Guilan held him under his buttocks, used his other hand to lock the door, the corners of his lips quirking up in a somewhat roguish arc, and carried him downstairs just like that.

Cen Wu was nearly scared to death. This old apartment building had many people. If anyone saw him and Xie Guilan like this, how could he ever face them again?

But Huaijin No. 1 High School was over two hours away by car. They had woken up very early, earlier than other students and office workers. The sky was still pitch black now, and surprisingly, no one noticed them.

Xie Guilan had come on a motorcycle. He directly carried Cen Wu to the back seat, put a helmet on him, and then started the engine.

On such a cold day, he couldn’t take Cen Wu all the way to school on the motorcycle, but at least he could ride to a place where it was easier to get a taxi.

Cen Wu wore a mask and scarf. The moment he stepped outside, he barely spoke, hiding next to Xie Guilan whenever he saw people. He grew even more nervous upon reaching the classroom, even though they were all classmates he knew.

The Cen family had suppressed the news; the matter of the switched young masters hadn’t spread yet. Lu Wang didn’t know what had happened. He thought Cen Wu had been sick these past few days; otherwise, why wouldn’t he reply to his messages?

Cen Wu languidly lay with his head on the desk all day. He only didn’t seem socially anxious when he saw Xie Guilan; the rest of the time, he was on edge. When Lu Wang spoke to him, he opened his mouth, but his mind went completely blank.

Cen Wu remained in a state of heart-pounding panic and trembling hands until evening self-study, but he didn’t want Xie Guilan to notice, so he kept his head down.

After school ended in the evening, he originally wanted to return to the place he rented. But when he looked up, he found Cen’s father, mother, and Cen Xiao all there.

They had cornered him at the school gate. There was no escape.

Cen Wu’s whole body instantly stiffened, like a delicate little animal pinched by the scruff of its neck, wanting to run but not daring to.

When Guan Xingxue saw his pale, thin little face, her eyes reddened instantly. She reached out and hugged him, saying, “Even though Xiao Lan is back, you will always be our child. How silly can you be? Why did you run off? Why didn’t you come home with Mom?”

Cen Xiao felt like he’d been dealt a bad hand. He treated all his younger brothers as full brothers, but his younger brothers treated him like a cousin.

Cen Xiao ruffled Cen Wu’s hair vigorously, tossed him a black card, and scolded him resentfully, “What are you acting spoiled for again? Didn’t you like the yacht I bought you last month? Then go buy another one yourself.”

Xie Guilan stood behind him, his cold, hard fingers pressing down on his shoulder, leaving him no way to retreat.

Cen Wu: “…”

Help! All of you, stay away!