YMW CH 52

Confession

Cen Wu’s mind was in a daze. He couldn’t make sense of what Xie Guilan was saying—liking someone? Who? What kind of liking?

But Xie Guilan didn’t give him any room to escape. He stepped forward again, pressing him, shattering every illusion Cen Wu had tried to deceive himself with.

“Cen Wu, I like you.”

“You…” Cen Wu panicked instantly. In the deep stillness of the night alley, Xie Guilan’s eyes pinned him down—dark, heavy, like a beast lying in wait suddenly lunging. The chill ran straight up Cen Wu’s spine.

Just then, Cen Xiao’s call came through. Cen Wu turned slightly and said, “Wait a second…”

But Xie Guilan’s pitch-black eyes burned with hostility. Cen Wu had been messaging A’Ling earlier, and he assumed this call was from her too—so relentless, so unwilling to disappear.

Xie Guilan grabbed Cen Wu’s wrist, stopping him from answering, and then, without warning, leaned in and kissed him.

Cen Wu’s mind went blank with a loud hum. Xie Guilan’s searing breath drew close, unrelenting, his lips forcefully claiming his. The kiss was full of fire and the faint taste of blood. Cen Wu instinctively tried to pull away, only to completely enrage Xie Guilan.

Xie Guilan’s fingers, cold and long, tilted Cen Wu’s chin upward. He stumbled back and slammed into the wall, but didn’t feel any pain—Xie Guilan’s palm cushioned the back of his head.

“Ge…” Cen Wu called out softly, a show of submission.

But it earned him no mercy.

Xie Guilan’s kiss was wild and hot. He pushed straight in from the moment their lips touched, prying open Cen Wu’s mouth. Tongue met tongue—wet, trembling—entwining, licking every inch with maddening intimacy. The sound of their mouths meeting echoed softly in the dark.

Cen Wu’s knees buckled. He almost collapsed, only to have Xie Guilan grip his waist tightly and pin him against his chest.

Xie Guilan was nearly a head taller. For Cen Wu to kiss him, he had no choice but to tilt his head back, bearing it all. Xie Guilan’s fingers were cold and unyielding, locking his jaw in place.

Any time Cen Wu tried to turn away, pressed his lips shut to avoid the kiss, or tried to push Xie Guilan’s tongue away, Xie Guilan would seize the soft flesh of his cheeks, forcing his mouth open again. He held him there in the corner, kissing him with desperate intensity—as if they were lovers in the throes of passion, unwilling to let go.

Cen Wu’s face flushed red. Tears welled up uncontrollably at the corners of his eyes, and he was still being forced to swallow Xie Guilan’s breath and saliva.

Xie Guilan cupped his face, biting and tugging at his lips, then slid his tongue back in, his scorching breath invading every part of Cen Wu’s mouth—every inch of soft, sensitive flesh was licked with fervent heat.

Cen Wu’s head was locked in place, body trembling, lips tingling—he was weak all over. Their teeth and tongues tangled endlessly, and he could feel it—Xie Guilan was getting lost in the kiss, going deeper, losing control.

His throat tightened. He couldn’t breathe. Tears streamed down his face and soaked Xie Guilan’s hands before he finally let go. But even then, he brushed a lingering kiss against Cen Wu’s swollen lips.

Madman.

Xie Guilan wiped away his tears, his voice husky and trembling with delight, and repeated softly, “I like you.”

Cen Wu didn’t even have the strength to argue. His hands were shaking as he grabbed his phone to check the screen.

If that call had accidentally gone through… he didn’t dare imagine what would’ve happened if Cen Xiao had heard that.

…

Xie Guilan’s dark eyes lowered, unreadable—maybe angry, maybe not. He let out a low chuckle, the smile on his beautiful face tinged with something unhinged and suppressed.

Cen Wu saw the call hadn’t connected. Cen Xiao must’ve hung up on his own. He had just begun to breathe a sigh of relief when Xie Guilan grabbed his hair and kissed him again.

Xie Guilan’s fingers twisted into the hair at the back of his head, the gesture laced with punishment, forcing him to tilt his head upward.

“I…” Cen Wu’s voice trembled. His lips barely moved before that hot tongue invaded again, making the same sticky, wet sounds as it stole his breath away.

Xie Guilan’s palm slipped lower, cupping his backside, fingers spreading over the soft curves. He nearly lifted him off the ground. Cen Wu’s feet barely touched the floor. All his sense of safety vanished, and no matter how much he resisted, he had no choice but to wrap his trembling arms around Xie Guilan’s neck.

“Mm…” A faint blush colored Cen Wu’s pale skin. He wanted to push Xie Guilan away, but his tongue felt numb, almost chewed to uselessness. All he could manage was a low whimper leaking from between his lips. “Mm…”

Xie Guilan caught his lips again, the kiss trailing from his mouth down to his neck. Seeing Cen Wu with red-rimmed eyes and silent tears, sniffling softly, he finally let him go. Their foreheads pressed together as Xie Guilan whispered once more, “I like you.”

Cen Wu tried to avert his gaze, but before he could, Xie Guilan grabbed his chin and forced him to look straight at him.

“Don’t pretend you don’t understand,” Xie Guilan said.

Cen Wu was already stammering badly, and now his tongue was sore from the kisses, making it even harder to speak. “I… I didn’t…”

He wasn’t stupid—if anything, he was more sensitive than most. He just didn’t want to believe that Xie Guilan could really like him.

One day, he was going to leave this place. There was no way he and Xie Guilan could be together. And besides, he didn’t know what anyone could possibly like about him. Xie Guilan had never been loved—maybe he just didn’t know what love really was.

“Baby,” Xie Guilan said, fingers circling his throat, the calloused pads of his fingertips brushing up along his neck. It gave Cen Wu the illusion that Xie Guilan was going to strangle him—but there was no pressure, and his voice was soft, coaxing. “I have one condition.”

Cen Wu: “…”

What do you mean, you have a condition?

And also, who the hell are you calling baby?

Xie Guilan’s fingertip pressed against his lips again, teasing his still-flushed tongue. Those dark, inky eyes were still thick with unspent desire, even though his tone had gone calm. “You’re not allowed to contact them again.”

A chill ran down Cen Wu’s spine.

It was always the calm ones who were most dangerous. No predator gives away its presence before the kill—least of all one like Xie Guilan, who was a devil by birth.

Cen Wu was totally lost. He thought he understood what Xie Guilan meant, but also not really. Who exactly were “they”?

Xie Guilan wasn’t hiding his jealousy at all. Cen Wu couldn’t help but feel vaguely guilty, like he had done something wrong behind his back—like he’d cheated or something.

“I didn’t…” Cen Wu tried to defend himself.

But Xie Guilan didn’t seem to care what he said anymore. He just leaned in and kissed him again, his tone gentler this time. “That was my first kiss.”

That set Cen Wu off.

He didn’t even have the strength to mock it—but what kind of first kiss was that?

And what did he mean by saying it like, this was my first kiss—you have to take responsibility for it?

What gave him the right?

“Who… who hasn’t had a first kiss?” Cen Wu’s face flushed deep red, and finally he couldn’t hold back and muttered back.

Xie Guilan, still a little drunk on the moment, had been about to kiss him again. But hearing that, he paused. His eyes, full of desire, slowly cleared as he asked in a low voice, “What did you say?”

“I… I haven’t either,” Cen Wu mumbled, a little aggrieved. Xie Guilan had kissed him so roughly that all he could taste now was blood. “I’ve never kissed anyone else.”

“….” Xie Guilan held him tighter, wiping his tears, and asked in a low voice, “What about you and Xie Shangjing?”

“I… He’s the least likely.”

“Lan Ye…”

“I wasn’t even touching! Can’t I look?!”

Cen Wu’s tone hardened with indignation. He’d already taken the college entrance exam once—why did it feel like he had to do it all over again now? He stayed up all night doing homework every day—so what if he looked at a few male models? Why the hell shouldn’t he?

“I thought…” Xie Guilan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Suddenly, the whole thing felt absurd. His lips curved in a low, self-mocking smile, and he kissed Cen Wu again gently. “I’m sorry…”

Thought what?

That he just kissed whoever he laid eyes on?

Before Cen Wu could even react, his lips were caught again. Xie Guilan’s kiss had been a little clumsy before, their teeth bumping together, but now it was slow, hot, and unrelenting, licking deep from his lips to the base of his tongue, tangled together in the quiet of the night.

Xie Guilan’s fingers stroked his cold, pale neck, trailing fire as they went. Cen Wu’s whole neck and ears flushed bright red.

He had never kissed anyone before—but he’d filmed plenty of kiss scenes. Still, he’d never imagined kissing someone could feel like this. Kissing Xie Guilan felt more scandalous than sleeping with someone else.

Veins bulged in Xie Guilan’s arms as he held Cen Wu tightly—almost like a prison, his affection heavy and overwhelming, like he’d never let him go, even in death.

Cen Wu tried to pry Xie Guilan’s arms away from his waist, but they wouldn’t budge. Xie Guilan didn’t want anything else—just to kiss him. And even that didn’t seem enough.

Cen Wu hesitated, then parted his lips, his trembling tongue brushing back in response, hoping that if he gave in, Xie Guilan would calm down.

But Xie Guilan only paused for a second—then kissed him harder, like a storm.

Madman.

Cen Wu couldn’t take it anymore.

Xie Guilan’s emotions were clearly not normal. Cen Wu swallowed the saliva flooding his mouth and finally shoved him away with all his strength, raising a hand and slapping him across the face.

A sharp, crisp smack echoed through the alley.

Xie Guilan’s head snapped to the side. Cen Wu’s heart shook, and his eyes turned red. He reached out to touch Xie Guilan’s face, checking if he’d hit him too hard.

“Baby.” Xie Guilan pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, seemingly amused. He grabbed Cen Wu’s hand, kissed his fingertips, and—despite the slap—didn’t seem angry at all. He coaxed softly, “Did it hurt? I’ll be gentle… can I kiss you one more time?”

“Just one.”

“Wait—wait!” Cen Wu quickly raised his hand and covered Xie Guilan’s mouth. The kiss landed on his palm instead, his fingers tickled by Xie Guilan’s lips—who had started biting him.

How did it end up like this?

Cen Wu swallowed nervously. His voice shook as he said, “I never… never said I liked you.”

“…What?” Xie Guilan froze.

Cen Wu had to steady his tongue and repeat himself: “I don’t like you.”

Even the wind in the alley fell silent. Xie Guilan let go of him, but didn’t stop asking, “What did you say?”

“I… I don’t know what gave you that idea,” Cen Wu stammered, trying to explain. “But I really don’t… don’t like you. I treated you badly before, and I want to apologize. I—”

“Stop.” Xie Guilan cut him off.

The alley was so dim that he couldn’t see Cen Wu’s face clearly. Fear crept up on him, and only then did he realize—he could be afraid too.

Even on that stormy night, he hadn’t felt fear. But now, he was terrified that Cen Wu would say again that he didn’t like him.

Cen Wu’s lips moved slightly, but no sound came out.

Xie Guilan’s cold eyes were swallowed up in the darkness. His pale skin made him look even more ghostly. No one knew how long he stood there, and when he finally spoke again, his voice was hoarse, but his gaze remained fixed, stubbornly so. “I like you.”

“…”

Cen Wu couldn’t bring himself to say anything else.

Xie Guilan stood in the darkness for a few more silent minutes before saying, “Young Master, you should go.”

“…” Cen Wu’s eyes flickered with hesitation, but he also felt they both needed some space to cool off. So he gave a small nod and walked away from the alley.

His steps were unsteady as he moved forward, and his figure gradually disappeared into the shadows at the end of the alley.

A heavy, stifling pressure settled on Xie Guilan’s chest. He lowered his head and lit a cigarette. It took several tries to get the lighter to work. The flame’s red glow flickered in his eyes, and his rims seemed slightly red as well.

He was a complete mess in front of Cen Wu—no dignity left. He held himself back, refusing to watch Cen Wu’s retreating figure, just so he wouldn’t chase after him.

The night was freezing. The cigarette between his fingers quickly turned his fingertips icy and stiff, like the depths of a snowy winter.

Xie Guilan knew he’d been left behind again. Cen Wu only pitied him, but didn’t like him.

Who could ever love a monster who had killed? Even the person who gave birth to him never loved him.

He was never meant to have such wishful hopes.

At last, Xie Guilan admitted it—it had all been a misunderstanding. Cen Wu had never liked him. Maybe Cen Wu didn’t even want to see him again.

It dawned on him belatedly that he’d kissed too hard just now—Cen Wu must’ve been frightened. He wondered if Cen Wu now hated him.

Xie Guilan gripped the burning cigarette butt tightly. The pain of the burn spread through his nerves. The alley grew darker again, as if he himself had grown out of the night.

He smelled blood, but he still hadn’t let go of the cigarette until, from the shadows, he heard footsteps—quick, light steps running toward him. He blinked in surprise and lifted his head.

Cen Wu had already left, but now he was running back toward him. His hair was a mess, his cheeks flushed from the run. There were no lights in the alley—only the moonlight overhead chasing after him.

Cen Wu bit his reddened lips, still swollen from the kiss, and hesitated before saying, “I… I still want to go home with you.”

He’d already walked all the way to the alley’s entrance, but when he turned and saw the dim glow at Xie Guilan’s fingertips beneath the night sky, his heart shattered. He couldn’t bring himself to leave Xie Guilan alone.

Xie Guilan didn’t say a word.

Cen Wu stepped closer and had just reached out his hand when Xie Guilan pulled him into a tight embrace. He bowed his head and buried it in the warmth of Cen Wu’s neck, while Cen Wu wrapped his arms around him and patted his back.

Xie Guilan understood then—
The moon doesn’t shine by itself.
The moon is surrounded by darkness too.
But to light up someone else,
It gives all its light away.

So even in a night without any lamps, he still had light.