ASIAH 42

I passed out as soon as I got back from the MT and only woke up in the afternoon. To be honest, I didn’t clearly remember what I did after we left the truth-or-dare game. I had even returned to my family home, not my studio apartment. I had been planning to stop by sometime soon, but I hadn’t expected to come here unconsciously.

Still, the fact that I seemed to have made up with Hyun Jaekyung remained. Something about him having a gay hyung he knows, or whatever. Hadn’t he even apologized first? That Hyun Jaekyung, of all people? How touching.

In any case, it seemed like the atmosphere had been good, but it was unsettling that I couldn’t be sure if the nuance I remembered was correct. To make things worse, there was a hole in my memory regarding why I had gotten completely soaked.

Could it be… I was drunk?

I had been showing off so much about how I never get drunk that if this fact were revealed, I would become the laughingstock of everyone. It’s disappointing that there’s a limit to the alcohol my body can handle.

I quickly searched for ‘symptoms of being drunk,’ and the first thing that came up was feeling nauseous. I didn’t feel nauseous at all, though. My tongue wasn’t tied, and I wasn’t dizzy either. The moment I was searching for ‘blackout,’ my father opened the door and poked his head in.

“You must have been really tired. You came in looking like a drowned rat, all covered in mud, I was worried. Did you drink a lot?”

“I was so exhausted I don’t even remember.”

“Pulling all-nighters to party is something you only do when you’re a college student. Still, seeing you not skipping the MT and hanging out with your friends makes your dad proud of you, Jooyoon. Besides, with your tolerance, you don’t even get drunk, do you?”

“…That’s true.”

Right, if no one knew I was drunk, then I wasn’t drunk. Aren’t humans social animals, meaning the ‘me’ seen through the eyes of others is what forms my identity? I was not drunk, and I am still the king of alcohol. I didn’t commit a crime, so is blacking out for a bit that big of a deal?

…Of course, I know it is a big deal. Because while searching just now, I found out that frequent blackouts can lead to brain damage. Also, I trust myself, but I have no way of knowing what I really did when my memory is gone….

From now on, I should stop acting tough, playing the black knight or whatever, and drink in moderation.

In any case, the most important thing is that I made up with Hyun Jaekyung. Now he probably won’t torment me like before, but then what happens to my plan of pretending to be friendly and then stabbing him in the back? Is it on hold?

As long as Hyun Jaekyung doesn’t suddenly start cussing me out or throwing my projects around, hanging out with him doesn’t seem so bad. Well, going to clubs or… witnessing that kind of stuff is something only Ha Wonjong experiences, it doesn’t apply to me. For Ha Wonjong to pretend to be asleep while that was happening right next to him, he’s really something else. If it were me, I think I would have been genuinely angry.

Why touch Hyun Jaekyung without permission when someone is sleeping?

“…”

That bastard is my, so to speak! ‘Muse.’ Because for an artist, a being that provides inspiration is fucking precious. Besides, even though it’s just the beginning, aren’t I on the tech tree closest to becoming a jewelry designer? Hyun Jaekyung’s hands are very important to me, so Hyun Jaekyung shouldn’t be careless with his body either.

Should I make a contract or something? Should I offer him money? He’s rich, so I doubt he’d listen.

Although there’s the problem of my memories being a bit fragmented, it’s a relief if the conflict is over. Looking back on it now, I don’t think this is the first time I’ve blacked out. Trivial, everyday things are easily forgotten and go unnoticed even when I’m sober, so I just never paid attention to a brief memory lapse.

What would someone like me, who has spent his entire life being an otaku and preparing for college entrance exams, know about such things? In high school, I once had a twisting pain in my gut and just thought it was an upset stomach, but I ended up being carried away and having an appendectomy. I’m just a handsome kid, so of course there are a lot of things I don’t know.

Suddenly feeling anxious, I opened my phone, but the only messages I had were announcements in the group chat. There were no terrifyingly stacked-up notifications.

I didn’t cause any trouble!

“Yes!”

“Jooyoon, what are you so happy about?”

“Ah, just… thinking about the MT.”

“Really? Honey, it reminds me of our college days too.”

“Haha, Ms. Soojin was truly a person who looked great in jeans. To the point where she could have filmed a commercial. Of course, now she has an added maturity.”

“If I were to film a commercial, I’d have to do it with you. Your legs were so long, I couldn’t tell where your waist was, you know? If I hadn’t found it, we might not have been able to have our twins.”

Would it be better for my noona to be here, or not? I wiped away the egg drop soup I had just spewed and averted my gaze from my lovey-dovey parents. Sometimes their behavior seems like an everyday thing, but at times like this, I feel like there are things you should and shouldn’t say in front of your children.

I spent the weekend at home with our Maltese, Jjojjo, and even by Monday, there were no reports that I had caused any trouble. Thanks to that, even the slight remaining anxiety vanished, and I was able to go to the studio cleanup in a refreshing mood. But Hyun Jaekyung, who I had naturally expected to come to watch or supervise, was nowhere to be seen.

He must have overslept.

…I tried to be cool and let it go like that, but I found myself getting insanely worked up about it. What if I said something weird when we were alone?

In fact, something I’ve realized lately is that whenever I see Hyun Jaekyung, I get the urge to comment on his face or body. But since I’m a normal person, I keep my mouth shut. Isn’t betraying that kind of restraint yourself a classic nightmare cliché? For example…

You’re my muse!

If I said something embarrassing like that, I would commit suicide on the spot. I’ll have to make a silver knife. No, they say the story about silver knives being for suicide is a distorted tale. Then I’ll have to make a long sword for seppuku. The material costs will be quite something.

Anyway, if I had said something like that, if I had made any kind of embarrassing remark or action, there’s no way Hyun Jaekyung wouldn’t have gloated about it. He would have announced it to the whole world in the group chat, saying something like [Hey guys, hello? I’m Jooyoon’s one and only muse.] Therefore, I should be able to enjoy this peace.

Good, that’s a relief.

Hyun Jaekyung didn’t come in until after class started. I glanced at him, wondering if he might be wearing something like horn-rimmed glasses, but he didn’t look swollen at all. He had been puffy every time he disappeared for a bit or came in late, so I thought it might be the same this time.

I mean, he drank a lot at the MT, even though he said he has an alcohol allergy. Then again, if it were a severe allergy, he would have abstained on his own, and if he drank over the weekend too, that would make him an alcoholic.

Recalling how Hyun Jaekyung had rambled on and on, saying he was sorry (to be honest, that’s about all I remembered), he suddenly looked pretty to me. So, I took the plunge and acknowledged him first.

“Hyun Jaekyung.”

“…Good morning.”

“Did something happen today? You’re late.”

“Just, overslept.”

Whoa, I guess we really did make up! The guy who normally would have spouted nonsense like “What’s it to you? Are you stalking me or something? You’ll be registering our marriage next,” simply accepted my greeting. There’s progress in our relationship, and it seems Hyun Jaekyung is capable of development too.

Just as the corners of my mouth started to creep up, I felt a gaze on me. Hyun Jaekyung, who had been looking at me without much emotion, smiled along with me. To have succeeded in such a healthy and positive emotional exchange!

Moreover, his smile, not a sneer, was truly a sight to behold, to the point where it would have been worth paying for.

During the break, Kim Sanna came over and asked.

“Did you get home okay?”

I made it to school, so I must have gotten home okay, right? It was a thoughtless sentiment, but saying it out loud would sound like I was being sarcastic. Since I don’t remember how I got home, a normal greeting feels like a sensitive issue for some reason.

“Yeah, I was pretty tired. You?”

“I seriously just slept all day Sunday.”

“Yo~ The chemistry of Jooyoon-Sanna~.”

Yeom Hyejin suddenly whistled like a referee’s whistle and cut in. The pointless comment was an added bonus.

“What does chemistry have to do with us?”

“…Jooyoon, just please keep your mouth shut from now on.”

Of course, it’s not that I didn’t understand what she meant when I asked that. Why is everyone trying to ship me with Sanna, just like they did at the MT? Could it be I took off my glasses?

But even in the parts I remember very clearly, Yeom Hyejin would ship me and Sanna. Plus, if I had unleashed my final form, there’s no way my messenger would have been quiet. Honestly, this fact is the only thing I’m relying on.

It was the moment Kim Sanna asked me, “If you’re free after class, want to go to a cafe together?”

“Haah…”

Hyun Jaekyung let out a very deep sigh. When I turned to look, he was staring at his textbook with his arms crossed, and while I didn’t know what he was up to, it made me a little creeped out. Does that territorial behavior not even spare friends?

Then again, Ha Wonjong seems to be the closest among our peers, but he’s practically like a subordinate, so maybe I’m just subordinate number two. It would be a little disappointing if my belief that we had formed an equal relationship was just my own delusion.

“Hyun Jaekyung, do you want to come too?”

When I took the plunge and offered, Hyun Jaekyung nodded, albeit with a sullen expression. When it was time to go to the cafe after class, his spirits revived, and he talked to Sanna nonstop, which was a bit of a relief.

We really just drank coffee without any incidents and returned to the studio to work. It’s only natural, as a busy season had arrived, leaving no time to just cater to Hyun Jaekyung’s moods. It was still a long way from finals, but it was early to mid-May, and both the university festival market and the college athletic meet were just around the corner.

Perhaps because the final project was a much bigger match than the midterm, the number of people pulling all-nighters increased, making it no different from a group camp. Kim Sanna was also participating in the market, so we ordered silver together. As I was organizing the materials, I heard Shin Yeonji and the others talking.

“Hey, did you hear there’s a super handsome guy at the basketball court?”

“Joshua of the basketball court? I heard he wasn’t around lately but was spotted again for a bit.”

Joshua of the basketball court? If you just add an ‘a’ at the end, isn’t that a name from the bible? If I said that, I’d probably just be told I’m an otaku who doesn’t even know the nation’s heartthrob actor. Not a chance, even for me, it’s hard to live in the same era and not know who Yeo Hosu is.

But a handsome guy at the basketball court, could it be…

“Yeah, he’s tall and jumps really well, he was even doing slam dunks. Jia’s boyfriend saw him too and said he was cussing him out for showing off and overdoing it when it wasn’t even a game.”

“Men’s jealousy is the scariest.”

…A slam dunk at the basketball court, that’s about me, isn’t it? Joshua? Do I give off that kind of vibe? That’s the first I’ve ever heard of that. Before I started with this nerdy glasses and shaggy hair concept, I was often told I looked like a slender, pretty boy. But Joshua, I guess I’ve really grown up.

“But… he’s probably about Jooyoon’s height?”

“Jooyoon? Come to think of it?”

Gasp. The gazes of the bustling all-nighter crowd shot towards me, standing there awkwardly, all at once. It seemed they were trying to compare and analyze me with Joshua of the basketball court, and I started to get tense, wondering if this was a crisis.

At that moment, Hyun Jaekyung, who had been quiet all day, threw a wet blanket on the conversation.

“Did you guys not see that bastard take a ball to the face?”